The weekend is here!

It seems like it's been a crazy week. I can't pinpoint why, but it probably has to do with the fact that work has been very busy this week, and it's the last week of my intensive nutrition course, and I have a research paper due Sunday and the final exam on Monday...that could have something to do with it...

I'm ready for the weekend, even though I'm going to be very busy with my chores and school work. I'm almost hoping that Sunday is a little overcast so that I won't feel so bad about sitting in the house doing homework. I don't want to ruin everyone else's weekends, though, so I'll stop almost hoping for that. ;-)

Yesterday I sold my old boat, and I went to check it out to make sure it was okay. I realized it had filled with rain water, so I used a bucket to get a bunch of it out, but that was taking forever, so I lifted it and propped it up to drain out the back. It was very heavy, and I ended up hurting my back - not too bad, but enough that I didn't feel terrible about skipping my work out last night when Jimmy stopped by and suggested a boat ride. When I hurt my back or neck, I take it easy, so that I'm only missing one day rather than getting a bad injury and missing weeks.

My fill seems to be working, although it may be too soon to know for sure. This morning I had some watermelon, and it was making me full. It's practically just water, so that's crazy. I found these cute little mini pitas at the grocery store. They are 3-4 inches in diameter, made by Joseph's, naturally. They are made of flax, oat bran and whole wheat flour. They are only 45 calories, 1 g fat, 4 g fiber and 5 g protein. They are the perfect size for me right now.

I had one with some hummus and tabouli, and it took me about 30 minutes to be able to finish it because I kept feeling full. It's nice to feel the band working again, let me tell you! :)

Jimmy told me to get rid of my band. He said I've lost enough weight, I eat healthy and exercise now, and I can lose the rest on my own, and not have some foreign device in my body. I'd wonder if he would say the same if I had a pacemaker and my heart was suddenly seeming to be fine.

LOL

I know I have worked hard for every lb I've dropped, but the band has enabled me to get there. Why would I want to take it out when it's working so well? The difference between me and the dieters who experience a 95-98% failure rate, is the fact that I have a surgical solution to my medical problem. Surgery isn't for everyone, and I would never say that it is. There are still people who lose weight through diet and exercise and they keep it off, and that's fantastic! I tried that, many times, and I experienced a 100% failure rate. It worked for a while, and I always gained it back and then some.

People have lots of different reasons for being overweight. For me, it was my immense hunger. It made me panicked. It made me make terrible decisions. The lap band dims my hunger, and enables me to make the right decisions. If I were an emotional eater, I don't think this would have been as great of a fit for me. It would still help, but for me, it's really just about all I needed. I don't think I had food issues that made me eat so much I nearly became immobile. I think I'm a glutton, always have been, and I overdo everything - food was no exception, especially with my ridiculous appetite.

Now I'm at the other extreme with healthy living, but I've found a balance. I know that I can't be absurdly strict with myself, or it won't work long term, so I eat bad foods sometimes, and I skip exercising to go on a boat sometimes. I'm working for progress, not perfection, and I am making progress because I am not holding myself accountable for perfection. Failure is a pretty bad motivator. That's why there is no failure in my plan. There's progress, learning experiences and common sense.