Thursday, July 31, 2008

Making progress...inch by inch



Boy, is it hot today!

My house is like a steam room. Let's hope it's making me lose weight! ;-)

I got most of everything I needed to get done before the wake, so that was an accomplishment. I had quite a list. I'm ready for my lake association meeting tonight, and I made a good dent in my homework, and work as well.

For my work out, I did 40 stair push ups, 300 crunches, and yes, BELLY DANCING! Why not?!

I have a few hours before my meeting, so it's back to work before I'm out for the night with the meeting/Carolyn's birthday.

That's all for now!

Juggling it all

Yesterday was busy! I left Boston at 5, made it to dinner in Winchester for 6, left at 7, got home by 8, went to the gym, back home at 8:45, worked until 10, watched a little TV, and went to bed.

Today I'm working from home, as we are leaving at 3 for the wake. I have the lake association meeting tonight at 6:30, and then we are meeting up with Stephanie and Carolyn for Carolyn's bday dinner.

Meanwhile back at the ranch, I have to finish the first draft of our grant application, do a few other things in preparation for the meeting, work out, get Caroline a gift, and get a very full day's worth of work done.

I'm going to work out at home today, because I don't have the time to leave the house. It's days like these that make it hard to find the time to work out, but I just have to keep it as much as a priority as the other things, and I'll be fine.

Weight: I'm up 3 lbs today, definitely water weight. I ate 790 calories yesterday, but I had soup twice, and soy sauce with my sushi, so that will do it.

Shout outs:

Congratulations to Alison for reaching the 50 lbs lost milestone today! You are doing an awesome job!

Congratulations to TJ for quitting smoking, and having good luck with the new drugs! Keep up the good work!!

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Fine, you get your way!

All of my regulars have been complaining about my latest profile pic because I was making a silly face. I was just being obnoxious...shocking, I know. I didn't want to have one of those myspace pics that made me look 1000 times better than I do in real life. Plus, my mouth was open, so whenever I made a comment on a blog, it was almost like I was speaking! :)

My readers just don't get me... it's sad.

So I assigned the picture above to my profile, and within 30 minutes I have TJ emailing me a copy of that picture, calling me pretty. Oy.

It's just a boring old picture of boring old me, and now you can all stop harassing poor me. LOL

On another note: why is it so hard for me to climb six flights of stairs? Going down is no problem at all! ;-) I'm in Boston today, and my office is on the 6th floor, so unless I'm carrying a bunch of things, I take the stairs. By the top, I have to catch my breath!

I just climbed up six flights, and I was intercepted by someone who wanted to meet with me real quick. I told her she'd need to give me a minute because I had to catch my breath (something I never would have admitted 150 lbs ago). She asked me what floor I climbed from and I told her the 1st. Good for you!, she said. I could tell she was pleased, but it's funny coming from her because she ALWAYS takes the stairs, full of bags and all.

When I first learned this last year, I couldn't understand why or how she managed that. She is in shape and very healthy, but 6 flights seemed insane to phatty. I remember all the times the elevator broke down, and I had to take me and my extra 150 lbs up 6 flights of stairs to my office. I had to take breaks, go really slow, and then it took me like 15 minutes to recover. Wow.

I think it took me about 30 seconds to catch my breath today, but I'm just looking forward to the day where I don't even get winded.

Kayaking

It was nice to be out on the water last night. Unfortunately, there was someone in a speed boat doing donuts every where I went, which doesn't make for the most peaceful ride, but it was fine. Before I ran into him, the water was like glass, and it was so peaceful out there. I must make more time to go kayaking.

We visited with a new of our neighbors last night, and talked about our shock and sadness over Jack's sudden passing. Everyone went their separate ways fairly early, and I was able to continue to get some work done after that. I finished up with my work between 8:30 and 9 and I watched TV for a bit, and Darcy cut my hair, which was MUCH needed.

I haven't lost any weight since hitting the 150 mark. I was up a bit last week, but that was water weight, and it was soon gone. I'm still down the 150, and as I've mentioned, I can tell my body is now catching up with the loss, as my clothes are getting looser. I will start losing again soon, I am sure.

The fill I had last week is working, and my appetite is small. Still, I'm averaging nearly 800 calories per day, which usually is a struggle for me right after a fill. I know it should be 1000-1200, but 800 is better than 400-600. I do not want to confuse my metabolism.

Today I am working in Boston, and I'm meeting up with friends for dinner after. I think I'm going to get sushi, and I'm looking forward to that. I will probably be home around 8, and I plan to go to the gym at that time.

Tomorrow we have the wake and Friday are the services. I'm looking forward to Saturday, when my Mom, sister and nephews arrive. It will be great to see them!

Until then, I will be a busy bee! Maybe it will make me lose weight! ;-)

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Goodbye


When I first moved to my current home in NH, it didn't take long for me to meet the neighbors. I think I've mentioned before that my neighbors are the most welcoming, friendly, helpful supportive group of neighbors you could ever dream of. I'm fairly useless in a lot of ways, but that's not a problem around here. Need a tree cut down? Done. Need your porch raised? Done. Need your shed moved? Done. Need your boat fixed? Done. I could go on and on, because they never cease to amaze me with their willingness to help and their generosity.

They quickly went from being my neighbors to being good friends, and from friends they have become family to me and Darcy. These are not people who will float in and out of my life, these are people I will know for a very long time.

I just received sad news that one of my dear neighbors has passed away. I didn't know Jack as well as I know many of my neighbors, but losing someone in our neighborhood truly feels like losing a loved one. We are a very tight knit group, and I only wish I knew Jack better. I only got to know Jack this year. He was one of the kindest and most genuine people I have ever met. Jack had the sweetest smile, and he really loved living on the water, as we all do. Jack just retired, and he bought a kayak this year. He often kayaked up the whole length of the water front, smiling and enjoying the peace of the water.

Jack was an engineer, and also certified as an electrician. He wanted to enjoy his retirement, and was thinking of letting his electrician certification expire. We ran into him while we were out and about one day, and Jimmy mentioned to him that we needed our hot tub wired. He seemed apprehensive to work on a hot tub (as many people seem to be), and he said he would at least take a look at it to help us know what we needed to have done. We told him it was no rush, and to stop by anytime.

It wasn't two hours later that Jack stopped by, examining our panel, reading through the hot tub manual... taking the time to explain to us the details of how everything works. I know he probably didn't want to get involved with the project, but he was too kind to say no. After he spent time with us at the house, he was going to do some research in his code books and get back to us. Unfortunately, he became ill shortly after that, but I have no doubt that if he hadn't, he would have helped us in any way he could have.

We didn't know Jack was really sick until the end of last week. Being the optimist that I am, I prayed for him, and I really believed he may pull through, despite news that indicated otherwise. Unfortunately, that was not to be. I know that it's better not to suffer, and so I'm glad that he did not have to suffer long, but I am going to miss him, and there will be quite a void in our community.

Once again, I am reminded of the frailty of life. I do live my life to the fullest, each day, and I do my best to have lots of joy and love in my life. I'm glad I am on track with my health. There are enough things that can creep up on you without giving your body extra obstacles.

I've been so busy that I haven't kayaked in a while, but I am going to today, as I reflect on the life ended too soon, but left a bright mark.

Monday, July 28, 2008

Busy!

Yes, that is me.

My last post was Friday, and it's now Monday evening, 9PM. I have been BUSY.

I've taken on a bit of a side project, and I love it, but it's 10 hrs/week on top of my already very busy full time job, full time schooling, and lake association work (which is more time consuming than you could imagine)... Oh yeah, and I'm still trying to make sure to exercise, plan healthy meals, keep up with my blog, look out for my dear grandmother, and enjoy my wonderful waterfront living. I'm type A, and I can handle a lot, but yes, gentle reader, this is a LOT.

I haven't exercised as much as I would have liked to since Friday's renewed resolve. I made it to the gym on Friday, I skipped Saturday, made it Sunday, and missed today again. I'm in the process of completing, what has turned out to be, a very labor intensive grant application for the state of NH to apply for funds to resolve our milfoil problem. Milfoil is a terrible weed that is taking over our water, reducing our home values and limiting the use of our lake.

Today I attended an all day seminar for the leadership team of our hospital system. Although I had to be in Framingham (1.5 hrs from my house) at 7:30 AM, I was pleased to be home around 5 tonight. I needed to take a boat cruise to count all of the physical properties located on the lake, as well as all of the swim platforms located on the lake (for the grant proposal), and I needed my dear neighbor Jimmy to escort me, as driving and counting was beyond my capabilities.

I wanted to go to the gym first, but Jimmy had plans, so we needed to leave as soon as I arrived home tonight. We counted the houses and swim platforms, and I was home by 6:30. From 6:30 to 9:00, I worked, to make up for the lost time from my seminar today. I missed out on the gym, and I feel guilty. I don't want my health to not be a top priority, but this is an extremely busy time for me, and finding a balance can be challenging.

I could work out now, but I'm tired, and I'm going to relax for the next hour before I go to bed early. Tomorrow, I will definitely make the gym.

On a positive note, I saw several colleagues today that I hadn't seen for months. I received so many compliments on my weight loss, and it was wonderful. It never gets old. I'm not someone who loses weight and feels uncomfortable that people are somehow thrilled with my weight loss - I embrace it and love it every single time!

I'm not down any weight on the scale, but my body is shrinking. When I hold up my old pants next to the ones I wear now, they are half the size. I am now 2 sizes smaller than my Dad, and 10 sizes smaller then when I started. So there. ;-) I keep thinking there must be a mistake, but that doesn't appear to be the case. I am shrinking, and I love it.

Progress, not perfection...

Friday, July 25, 2008

Getting back on track



I lost 15 lbs this past month, which is an average of 3.75 lbs per week, compared to my usual 2.5-2.75 lbs per week that I have been losing for quite some time. I don't know why there was a bit of a spike. I didn't feel well throughout most of the month and I wasn't exercising nearly the way I had been. Perhaps I lost muscle mass, but I don't know if it would have an impact so quickly.

As I've mentioned earlier this week, I have filled my plate with lots of other things, and I need to get back to making my healthy living a priority, until I reach my goal weight. At that point, it still needs to be a big focus for me, but it doesn't have to be the biggest. My life will move on, and I will get to do lots of things I never could have done. Until then, this still needs to be my primary focus.

I lost 150 lbs since last fall, and I feel like my goal weight is within my reach, since I'm 75% (or more) of the way there. As the weight continues to fall off, it's easy for me to shift my focus since it seems to be happening all by itself now, but I can't let that happen. Now that I'll be back to solid foods soon, I need to get back to my meal planning, grocery shopping, and working out 6x/week.

Starting today. I don't believe in waiting until Monday. Once you recognize the need for change, it's time to change immediately. Every moment you wait/waste, you lose momentum.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Salty!



I feel like I ate that giant pile of salt. My tongue is seriously swollen. Gross! I had soup yesterday, twice, and it's so salty. I was up a few lbs today - water weight I'm sure, and I'm craving water. Alison got me some soup, and she tried to just get broth, but a tiny meatball slipped in. I tried eating it, and it was fine, so I've decided I'm cleared for mushies.

I had a nice mushy Healthy Request Campbell's chicken noodle soup for dinner, and I'm sure that's what I'll have for breakfast too. I'm not sure about lunch, but I'm sure I can find something soft on the menu, as I'm ordering out.

I had heartburn last night, which can be a sign of having too tight of a fill. I'm not used to eating such salty things, though, and it's gone today, so I'm hoping it was something I ate, and not the band being too tight. If the band is too tight, it's not a big deal, I just have to go for a slight un-fill, but what an annoyance!

Today is another busy day with work and school and lake association stuffs. I have no idea how I'm going to make time to exercise, but I'm going to try. This week has been an extenuating circumstance with the amount of work I've had to do. I really want to do something outside for exercise, because I feel like I've been stuck inside all week, but it's raining and flooding out, so that's not looking promising.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Liquid is just not filling for some reason

Some people I have met say the carnation instant breakfasts fill them up. I just don't get that. I mean, they do at first, but it doesn't stay with me the way regular food does. The whole point of having a lap band is so that your stomach will be able to hold less food, due to the restrictive band. Liquids go right through it the band, so it's kind of pointless.

I'm not starving or anything, but I'm hungry, and I'm not looking forward to my CIB lunch, following my CIB breakfast. I'm going to have some low sodium tomato soup with a little low fat melted cheese in it for dinner. That thought makes me happy. How lame!

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Fun with needles

I had a fill today. I really didn't want it because I didn't feel like being on liquids and mushies for five days after. I sucked it up and went and it wasn't very fun. My port seems to be at an angle, and they can never figure out exactly where to stick the needle. That means, they just keep poking around until they can find it - oh, by the way, while I'm doing an ab crunch. Hey fatty, can you just contract your abs while you lie on a table for 10 minutes so I can poke around a bit?

Oy. I do ab crunches, but to hold it so long is difficult, especially because all the poking around hurts (not terribly, but it's not pleasant). The NP I met with was the same one I saw last time. She is very nice, and she felt bad it was so hard to find. I don't know how they did it 150 lbs ago! LOL I decided to make a suggestion: I lied on my back and filled my stomach with air and pushed it out as far as I could (attractive), and that seemed to work, so we're going to try that again next time.

I now have 6 CCs in my band, and we're going to wait 8 weeks before I go in for another fill. That will be around the one year mark. What a year!

Now I'm on liquids. I heated up some beef and vegetable soup for dinner, and I just drank the broth out of it. Darcy just got me some Carnation Instant Breakfasts for tomorrow, so I can look forward to that fun all night! ;-) Trust me, I hate the liquids, but it's sooooooooo worth it.

Today was ridiculously busy. It's 9 something, and I'm just finishing work now. It didn't help that I had to leave for an MD appt in the middle of the day. This is going to be a very busy week for me, with work, all the things I need to do for the lake association, school, etc, I need to make sure to find time to exercise. I re prioritized my life to be on this healthy living journey, and I can see as time goes by, more and more is creeping onto my plate, competing for my attention.

I need to make sure I'm putting my health first, because without it, I won't be here!

Goodbye Parrot


I had this picture taken in Key West this year, and I've had it assigned to my profile ever since. It's funny. Nice beads. Nice parrot. As you can see, it was taken on January 19th. I checked my fitday.com account, and I weighed 75 lbs more then than I do now! Since January. That's crazy. I can't believe it. I felt so small when I was there, because I had just lost 75 lbs!
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Alison has teased me about using the parrot picture because she has said my face is so much bigger there than it is now, so I'm finally swapping it out.
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Thank you all for the great support you gave me for hitting my 150 milestone! I'm excited to keep on moving until I'm at goal!

Monday, July 21, 2008

Lahooosaher


Yeah, baby. Yesterday I was down three, and today I'm down one more for a total of 150 lbs lost!! As I've said, my original goal was to lose 150 lbs my first year (10/3 is my bandiversary), and to it it ahead of schedule is a great surprise!
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From what I've read, it's rare for a woman to lose this much in one year with the lap band, so I'm really thankful I've had such a great experience.
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I was driving to the hospital last week with Alison, and I told her I wanted to get another lap band because I love mine so much. I know that some people have issues with having weight loss surgery, and those are their issues. For me, it's been a life changing experience, and I feel like I've gotten my life back. I have absolutely no regrets.
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I can't believe I got as big as I did, and I'm not sure what happened. I'm now the lowest weight I've been since I was about 19. This is as low as I got when I lost a ton of weight with weight watchers when I was 24, but I look smaller now because I have more muscle tone. I have about 40-45 lbs to lose until I get to my lowest weight in my adult life, when I was working at Gold's Gym doing some personal training.
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I know that to some, losing 40-45 lbs seems like a lot, but since I've lost 150, 40-45 seems small! I love my new active live, as well as the smaller healthier me. I *really* feel like I'm in the home stretch now, and I am enjoying every step of the way.
150 lbs, gone forever!

Friday, July 18, 2008

Can you see me now?


Last night, Brooke came over. I was out by the mailboxes at the end of the street, and I waived to her, and she drove right past me. She said she didn't recognize me, and she didn't know why some stranger was waiving to her. That is it. I see her at least once/month. What a laugh we had over that one.
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I ran into some other people I hadn't seen in a bit last night, and they couldn't get over how different I looked. It's only been a few months, but I guess right now is one of those times when the change is really obvious.
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I'm down another lb today, so the total is 146. I'm only 4 lbs away from 150, which is exciting. My sister, nephews and Mom are coming to visit in a few weeks. I'd like to be at 150 by then. That would be nice.
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I have a busy weekend scheduled, but not for fun reasons. I have homework for my two classes, a fairly large work project that I need to do over the weekend and a laundry list of items to handle for the milfoil eradication efforts. It's a lot, and it will be hard because it's going to be nice out, and I'm just going to want to be boating!
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Luckily, one of my milfoil projects requires me to be on the boat for a long time while I map out where every dock on the waterfront is, so that will be a fun task. I think we'll go hiking tomorrow AM.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Another nice night


I can't think of a better way to end the day then going for a sunset boat cruise. I feel so lucky to live on the water.
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MD Updates: I am almost not anemic anymore! That is good news. For the first time in over a year, my iron levels are almost normal, and I haven't been taking my iron because it hurts my stomach, so I'm happy about this. My thyroid levels are just fine too, but we're going to watch this closely. It's odd that the same meds are correct now, and they were 140+ lbs ago. On a downer note, my dentist confirmed I have an abscessed tooth that's connected (somehow) to my sinuses, which is why I'm having trouble with both. I have to have a root canal.
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I realized I forgot to schedule my next fill last time I was at the MD, so I called yesterday, and they put me on the schedule for next Tuesday. That's 5 weeks from my last fill, rather than their 6 week usual, but I think that's fine. I have never had the level of restriction that some bandsters have, so we'll see if I get it this time. If it doesn't work for me, I can have an unfill.
I'm down another 2 lbs today to 145 total, 10 lbs away from losing Marcel/lo!
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It's funny that more and more people are noticing now and commenting...people I don't know that well. Apparently it takes 80-100 lbs for people you know to notice and 145 for people you aren't as close to, to notice. This is very funny to me. If I showed them pictures of me before, they would be shocked. Oy. :)

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

As if you could kill time without injuring eternity

I loved Thoreau when I was a kid. Everything just seemed so true and wise. Most of it still is, but then there's life. Life (at least my life) doesn't have much room for waxing philosophical, but the killing time thing is something that has always stayed with me.



I stay busy. I use my time wisely. I have down time, because it's important, but it's down time I plan to have. Last night, I went to the lap band support group meeting. I had to miss out on a much more important meeting (to me) to be there, as well as a nice night for a boat ride, time to do homework, etc... I went because I promised I would go. Both my nutritionist and the NP from my surgeon's office encouraged me to go, because I've been having good results, and they thought I could share some of my successes with the folks who are struggling. I promised I would go, so I cleared the time in my schedule to be there, and it wasn't easy.



I left work early yesterday to go to an MD appt. They are testing my thyroid and iron levels, and I'll know more about that today. When I met with a PA last week about my gallbladder, she was shocked that my thyroid dose hadn't been lowered since I have lost 140 lbs, and I thought she had a good point. If your levels are off in either direction, it can send your whole body out of whack.



I made plans to go for sushi with Alison before the meeting, and I had a lovely picture of her with her napkin across her top, in an efforts to prevent her entire shirt from becoming polka dotted with soy sauce. Unfortunately, blogger pics doesn't seem to be working right now. We had a delicious dinner, and then we went for a short walk in downtown Winchester.



We arrived at the meeting a little early, and the group was separated into two rooms: pre-op and post-op. The nutritionist, NP and surgeon are all supposed to attend the meetings, and they split up between the groups. Only the nutritionist was there, so we did not have a group leader on our side. I realize my MD is a surgeon, and sometimes surgeries take longer than planned, but I'm not sure why they couldn't have anyone else from the office scheduled as a back up for these circumstances. I rearranged my schedule to be there, and the hospital is an hour from my house.

At the very least, if no one is there for the post-op group, combine the meetings instead of doing it at the end, so that we aren't wasting every one's time. I guess other people are much more patient than I am because at 6:45 (the meeting started at 6:30), when no one had arrived to speak to our group, Alison and I left.

I would like to note that I saw a lot of post-op folks who seemed to be doing great! At least three of them appeared to be at their goal weight. It's really cool seeing people I remember from last year when they were much heavier, and seeing them now as thin! It's exciting, and I'm proud of them! I often get the vibe from my MD's office that they don't think the lap band is very successful, and that their lap band patients aren't happy with their results, but I saw a number of people last night having great results, and I think that's awesome.

I will not be attending any future support group meetings. It's too much trouble to get there, and rearrange my schedule to attend, knowing there's a shot I may be waiting for a long time for the meeting to start. I do wish my fellow bandsters the best of luck, though.

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When I got home, I was able to salvage some of the night. Our friend Dennis stopped by, and he took us on a sunset boat ride. It was so beautiful and relaxing. It was just what I needed after an aggravating incident. After the boat ride, I got some work done, watched TV and went to bed.

I woke up today with a headache. I'm not looking forward to seeing my dentist this afternoon.

I weighed myself on Alison's scale (which is always right, and matches the MD's scale), and then I weighed myself again when I got home. My scale appears to be off by 8 lbs. As long as that's correct, I was down another 2 lbs today for a total of 143. I will be buying a new scale soon, though, because I don't like guestimating. That seems right to me, though, because my clothes are getting looser and looser as we speak. :)

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

The evolution of me


I was thinking about the concept of falling off the wagon, as I drove to work this morning. I know I've mentioned this before, but every time I tried to lose weight in the past, I held myself to unrealistic all-or-nothing standards, and every time I failed...eventually.
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Right now I'm living healthy for life. That means that some days I may have a treat, and other days, I may throw all reason into the wind (see: yesterday), and just eat irresponsibly because I want to, and it's not going to throw me off my course.
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I do not feel any guilt about eating bad foods yesterday. None. I don't regret it either. I wish I didn't feel bloated and gross today, but that's the price I paid, and it's also a reminder of why I would never want to eat/live like that again.
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Alison emailed me saying she knows that when I have a bad eating day or episode, I return to my healthy living with a vengeance, and that's true. It's not important to be perfect, it's important to be healthy. Even healthy people have naughty days or naughty meals, but the point is making them few and far between.
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I don't know how I managed to break the cycle of ruining everything by "falling off the wagon," but it has saved me in this journey.

Someone, take the fork out of my hand

I wasn't feeling great yesterday, and I was tired and discouraged about the number on the scale, so I decided I was going to eat anything and everything I wanted, and I did just that.

I had:
1/2 cup of pasta carbonara
1/3 of a grilled chicken salad (with full fat ranch dressing)
Sm. Italian sub
1 piece of pizza
1 slice of key lime pie
Ice cream

Can you imagine? Actually, since I can't eat the volume of the bad foods, I didn't do nearly the damage I would have on a food bender before. I tracked my calories, and I was just over 2000. Holy Moly. Now I know that 2000 is the recommended daily intake for women, so it's not like it's a ridiculous amount, but I normally shoot for 1000/day (and average more like 600-700 lately), so 2000 is a LOT for me.

I woke up this morning with a food hangover. My body felt gross and bloated and tired. I used to feel like that every day, and I forgot what that felt like. It's not pleasant. I knew all day yesterday that I was only having a tantrum for one day, and that I'd be back on track today, and I am.

I have already worked out my meal plan for today:

Breakfast - 2 Kashi strawberry waffles and yogurt
Lunch - Turkey and hummus on a Joseph's wrap with 2 mini bananas
Afternoon snack - yogurt (and a Kashi trail mix bar if I'm hungry)
Dinner - Sushi (tuna) + salad

As promised, I'm attending the support group meeting tonight, so I won't be home until 8:30 or 9. As long as I'm feeling up to it, I plan to exercise when I get home.

I think it's time for a new scale. As of last night, it said I was up 23 lbs. Obviously, it's broken. Darcy said there are springs that came out of it, so yeah, it's broken. I'm going to throw it out tonight, and probably buy a new one this weekend. I'll take a few days of a break from weighing myself, but in general, I know it's best for me to stay on track by checking my weight daily. If that stops working, I'll change my habit.

Have a healthy day! :)

Monday, July 14, 2008

I feel fat

I know that technically, I AM fat, but I haven't felt fat in a while because I've lost so much weight. Maybe there's something wrong with my scale. It's not settling on zero, and I've been up 5 lbs the past few days. I don't know how I can be up. I didn't even eat as much as 400 calories on Saturday and Sunday.

I have a new battery at the house, and I'm going to change it tonight to see if that makes a difference. It's silly how a number on a scale makes me feel a different way. Obviously I'm losing weight, and I'm exercising and eating healthy (though sometimes, not quite enough - I'm working on that too), so I am going to lose weight. I know that last week was an off week for me, since I lost 5 lbs the week before, but I still managed to lose a lb last week, and I should be happy. I think losing that lb threw me off because I thought that meant I was just going to keep losing and losing, and when that didn't happen, I became discouraged.

Enough of that. If the scale makes me paranoid, I'm going to throw it out. I only use it because it motivates me.

Friday night we went to the mall. Can you imagine? I called TJ on my way to tell him that I was finally as lame as he was! I bought a new swimming suit, some shirts and flops, and two pairs of shorts, one pair of shorts that is one size too small, and another pair that's 2 sizes too small. I like having goal pants. That makes me happy...well, when I fit in them. ;-)

After the mall, we went to Friendly's. We hadn't had dinner, and it was 9PM. There is nothing healthy at Friendly's. I ordered a BLT, and I had about a third of it. Even kind of bad things aren't so bad when you don't eat much of them...not that I want to waste my nutrients on kind of bad food, but it happens.

Saturday I was having a lot of pain with my sinus infection/abscessed tooth, so after running some errands and doing a little hiking, I stayed in while Alison and Darcy went yachting and swimming with the gang all day. I got some work done, paid bills, did a few things for school, and then I sorted through all my clothes to get rid of everything that's too big, which is almost everything. I like that job. It's FUN. The only thing that stinks is when I have to part with something I really like, but that is actually quite rare. By night time, I couldn't waste the whole day, so I went out for the final voyage. We had a great night.

Sunday I was feeling a little better. We went out for breakfast at Rita Mae's. I had one egg and one piece of dry rye. We went out in the boat with Ali, Steph and Carolyn, and we parked at cupcake island all day. What a fun day. We ran into a bunch of our friends, and we made some new ones too. :) We met some girls who just moved to the area in April. They just bought jet skis, and they let us use them! I had never been on a jet ski before, and I loooooved it. I need one. Now. Darcy and Stephanie were afraid to drive it themselves, so they rode on the back, and they both flew off! Way funny. They had life vests on, don't worry.

I've been on antibiotics for three days now, so my face is getting better, but I think I slept on the wrong side of my face last night, so it's pretty sore today. It's Monday, and I'm already having a crazy week. Also, I start two classes this week. They are 8 week sessions, so it's a lot crammed into a shortened schedule, but not as bad as the five week course I just finished.

I think that's it for now. I sure had a lot to say today!

Friday, July 11, 2008

My apathy toward food has vanished (Alternate title: Confessions of a food junky)



That was quick. I decided on Chinese. There's a better place than the one I was thinking of earlier. I had 1/2 of a wonton soup, 1/2 an egg roll, and a 1/2 a cup of chow mein. It was a nice little shmorgesboard. The wonton soup was delish, and the chow mein was the good kind with the fresher veggies and not the loaded down with sauce kind that's almost gelatinous.

I was home alone one day, years ago, and I ordered a pupu platter, crab rangoon, spare ribs on the bone, house rice and chicken chow mein just for ME! That's a little crazy. Obviously I couldn't eat it all, but my fat little head just had to order enough food as I would now order for 6-8 people. Back then, if you told me that amount of food was for 6-8 people, I would have panicked and made sure to order my own.

When ordering pizza, it's common to figure 2 slices per person. Some eat 3, some eat 1, etc... I used to figure 1 pizza for 2 people. When I would get breakfast at McDonald's, I would order 2 breakfast sandwiches and four hashbrowns. Nice! If Darcy and I were ordering pizza for the two of us, we'd get one large, one small, and breadsticks. That was my doing, not hers.

So today I ordered an order of egg rolls, a small wonton soup, and chicken chow mein. I will get four meals out of it, which is good, because if I ate all of that at once, it would be: 1050 calories and 36 grams of fat. Spread out over four meals, it's 262 calories and 9 grams of fat. It's suprising to think that meal has 1050 calories. Imagine if I calculated the calories and fat of the pupu platter and friends version! Oy.

Okay. I just did. It was 5,440 calories and 230 grams of fat. Sweet.

What's for lunch?



I just googled images of food. I'm looking for some ideas. I'm bored with food right now. I had a few reduced fat crackers for breakfast, because the antibiotics I took were hurting my empty stomach. I can't think of anything I want. Who am I?? I used to not be able to think of anything I DIDN'T want.

I'm working from home today, and I don't appear to have any food. There's some leftover pasta that would make me sick if I ate it. I have wraps and pitas, but nothing to put in them. I'm sure there's tuna around here, but no thanks. Darcy has some easy mac I considered making, but I'm all set with the chemicals and junk.

I keep checking my fridge and the cabines to see if I missed something. Nope. I could order something, but everything is junk. I looked on D'angelo's web site to see if I wanted anything they had. A chicken caesar wrap has 820 calories! That's what I eat in an entire day, if I'm lucky! Oy.

Sushi? Nah. Chow Mein? Too much sauce at the place near by. Grilled chicken salad? I'm not in the mood for low fat dressing, and full fat dressing would probably make me sick. Cold cuts on a wrap? Eh. I'm kind of sick of the wraps. That must be a list of all the foods in the world, because now I'm drawing a blank on anything else.

It's 1:30 in the afternoon, and I've only had a few crackers. Now I feel like TJ. I'm pretty sure I'm not even hungry, which is part of the problem. If I were hungry, something may be appealing. On most diets, they tell you not to eat unless you're hungry. That's not the case with the band. Since the band makes you feel full faster, sometimes you just don't feel hungry all day, but you still have to eat. They teach you to eat by the clock when that happens. If it's morning, eat breakfast, noon, lunch, evening, dinner.

What if I don't wanna?

Is my pain related to my lap band?

TJ posted a comment asking if my stomach pain was related to my band. A few others have asked me that as well, and others have probably wondered.

There are risks and complications that can be a result of the lap band:
  • band leak
  • reflux/vomiting
  • band erosion
  • difficulty swallowing
  • band slippage
  • dehydration
  • gastritis

The most common complication I have heard of is acid reflux. Many band patients will experience acid reflux at night when they lay down, and usually it's a result of the band being too tight. I have not experienced this.

Vomiting is also something that can happen if you are too tight, or if you eat more than you are supposed to.

I have never heard of anyone (from the thousands of people I've met online) who have had a band leak, but I'm sure it's probably happened. It seems to be quite rare.

Band slippage is something I have heard people talk about. Slippage refers to when the stomach slides up through the band, making the pouch larger, but making the band feel extremely tight. This is usually evident when a patient has extreme heartburn. There are two causes for slippage: over eating and excessive vomiting as a result, or poor installation. :) Poor installation means the surgeon didn't do a good enough job securing the lap band to the stomach. In almost all the cases I've heard of, slippage was due to patient error, rather than MD error, but either can happen. A slipped band needs to be repaired surgically.

Band erosion is when the band actually erodes in the stomach. Band erosion can occur if the surgeon places too many sutures around the band. If this occurs, the band needs to be removed.

The band is silicone, and the body does not know any better than to accept it. It's not like an organ transplant where the body can reject it.

I have not heard of any other complications that can come as a result of the band, so it does not appear that my symptoms are consistent with lap band problems. To be on the safe side, as part of my testing, I'm sure they'll take an Xray to make sure everything is in place.


When it rains...


It's very strange. I think of myself as a healthy person, but for the past few weeks, if it isn't one thing, it's another. My gallbladder, my allergies, my anemia, blah blah blah. Today I have a new one! I have been blessed with a sinus infection. I will be on the Z pack within the hour.
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I thought it was a toothache. I can be dense. My "tooth" hurt all day yesterday, and it hurt so bad, it was traveling all the way up to my nose. Ah, no. Actually, that was sinus pain traveling all the way down my jaw. I suspected something was up when my one "tooth ache" spread throughout the entire left side of my face. Duh.
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I hate sinus infections. Mine comes in waves. It's always a dull pain, but then from time to time, it gets really really bad, and I can't talk or do anything. I just have to concentrate until it passes.
I'm issuing a ban on illness going forward. I'm all set.
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Oh - I had my MD appt today. The surgeon was called into emergency surgery (you'll have that), so I met with her very friendly and helpful PA. My hida scan did indeed come back fine, so we don't know what my problem is. Now I'm going to go to a gastroenterologist for continued testing.
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In the mean time, I need to eat as blandly as possible.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

TJ, am I smiling with my eyes enough??

Freaky!

For those of you who read the comments, TJ has been telling me that if I had been watching America's Next Top Model (ANTM for the novice), I would have been much better prepared for my photo shoot this morning. He said Tyra would have taught me to smile with my eyes, and things like that. I'm sorry, isn't a smile technically a mouth thing?

Above is my attempt to smile with my eyes. I think I look like something from a Tim Burton movie. Either that or one of the many faces of Eve.

I didn't feel up to getting my eyebrows done last night, so I did them quickly myself this morning. I didn't do a very good job, but what do you people expect. It's not exactly my thing.

The photographer took 2 sets of pictures of me. 15 in front of a book shelf, and 10 in front of a plain wall. He said I looked exactly the same in every picture. Maybe I really am a model... or maybe that's not a good thing... Maybe he kept taking picture after picture hoping one would look good, but they all looked the same!

Oh, the horror!

Like I said, I have photoshop. I'm not so worried. ;-)

I'm confused

Last night I was craving pizza. I hadn't slept well this week, and I'd been up since 4:30, so I was tired...I'd been in my car for over 3 hrs commuting, my allergies were bothering me, and I wanted a treat. As Alison mentioned in her blog this morning, I was talking on the phone to her about how I wanted Pizza Hut pizza. It's my absolute favorite. I just love that crispy golden pan crust they have.

I seriously considered getting it, but ultimately, I decided to make a healthier compromise. I ordered a margherita pizza from a local italian restaurant. It's not a greasy pizza - just a thin crust, tomatoes, basil, fresh mozzarella cheese and a little olive oil and seasoning. I make that stuff at my house sometimes, only on a pita, and I use Pam instead of olive oil. I figured that was a safe bet, and a better alternative.

I was really hungry, and I ate two pieces, which is a lot for me. I was still within my calories for the day, and I felt fine when I went to bed. I fell right asleep because I was exhausted, and I started having these horrible dreams of all these things that were causing me extreme stomach pain. I kept tossing and turning to get in a better spot so I wouldn't be in as much pain, but it got worse and worse. Finally, I woke up at 1AM to realize I was having another one of those attacks. Maybe it's a gallbladder attack, maybe it's something else.

I thought I was in the clear since the tech said my hida scan seemed normal, but I just don't think I am. I know it's not lactose intolerance. I've been lactose intolerant for a decade, and it can really make you cramp up, but it's nothing like this pain, and it's in a different area as well. Thankfully, I had some prescription pain meds from when I was in the ER last time, and I took one of those with a compazine so it wouldn't make me more sick to my stomach, and within a half hour I I fell back asleep.

The pain meds made me sleep a dead sleep, and I woke up feeling groggy, but my stomach was better. I have no idea what's going on with me now, if I got sick from something with such natural ingredients, but I can only imagine that whatever it is that's bothering me must be getting worse. Hopefully I'll know more when I see the MD tomorrow.

Thank God I opted against the greasy Pizza Hut pizza! I probably would have exploded!

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Headshot



This is the second time lately that I have needed a headshot. I'm practically a model, right? Ha! The first time was when the announcement of my involvement on the board of directors for a healthcare magazine was published, and now a different magazine is publishing an article on me and my recruitment team, and they want a headshot too.

I lined up a headshot photo session with our PR team for the first publication, but I cancelled it and ended up taking my own picture. It wasn't that bad! However, this article is much more predominant than the last one (oh yeah, and I've lost 140+ lbs since then), so I want an updated, more professional picture.

Normally this type of thing would cause me loads of anxiety, the only calm around being the fact that I have photoshop, but now, it doesn't bother me at all. I have a photo shoot lined up for tomorrow. My only regret is that I wore my new suit today. I really would have preferred to wear it tomorrow, and now I'm not sure what the best choice for second place will be.

Ah, decisions... It's funny the way things changed. I've also been invited as a guest lecturer for a human resources organization, and even though I've never really minded public speaking that much, it did cause me a bit of anxiety - probably due to the fact that I hated the way I looked. Now that I don't hate my appearance, the anxiety seems to be gone. I know that I know my subject matter, and I know I'm good at what I do, so why be anxious?

I anticipated a lot of changes would come with losing so much weight, but I never really thought I would end up being more comfortable in my own skin. Even when I was younger, and only had a tiny bit of weight to lose, I was never that comfortable, but now I'm older, wiser, and more level headed. I don't have to be perfect to be fabulous.

LOL - that's corny, but oh so true. Being a grown up is a cool thing.

Beef is the new Salmon



Grass fed beef, that is. According to "The Omnivore's Dilemma," since we have now started breeding salmon in farms, feeding them grain, as it's cheaper and makes them grow quicker, we have drastically reduced the amount of Omega-3 fatty acids, while raising the amount of fat. Grass fed beef is rich with Omega-3s and low in fat, and side by side with grain fed salmon, it's a much healthier choice. Who knew?!

I always tell myself I'm going to force myself to eat salmon because it's so good for me, but if that's not really the case, fuggedaboudit. Wild salmon is still higher in omega-3's, so don't throw the salmon out completely! Just ask questions, read labels, and know that unless otherwise specified, your pink little darling was probably fed grains for its' short little life.

Last night Darcy and I went to see Hancock. It's the movie where Will Smith plays a superhero, who has gone astray (putting it mildly). It was cute. I'm easy, though. I had a late lunch, so I didn't eat dinner, and I was really hungry. I wanted movie theater popcorn BAD. I know last time I had it, it was too greasy for me, but I was thinking of getting it without butter, and I'm sure that would be an okay taste.

I couldn't bring myself to do it, though. Instead, I stopped at Target on the way, picked up some sugar free gum, and settled upon that. How boring! ;-) I also picked up some Zicam allergy nasal spray. My allergies have been really bad this week, and Claritan keeps making me sick to my stomach, so I'm hoping this homeopathic remedy will do the trick. It will be one less pill to swallow/get sick from. I used it last night and this morning, and so far, it seems to be working well!

I'm working in Boston today, suited up in the new linen suit. I wanted to avoid as much traffic as possible, so I left the house at 5:30, but it still took me about 90 minutes to get here. It should be a busy day, but I'm hoping to leave on time-ish, as I want to get to the gym tonight.

I'm feeling MUCH better since yesterday - thank you all for your well wishes!

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Adventures in Hida Scan Land



I am now home from the MD, and this is an actual photograph of my face right now. ;-)

As you know, I have been experiencing gallbladder-pain- like symptoms as of late. Twice when I ate foods that were fatty (cheesy once, I forget the first time), I had severe pain in my upper right abdomen, where the gallbladder is located. The second time landed me in the ER, where they ran an abdominal ultrasound and noticed thickening of the gallbladder wall, which may or may not mean gallbladder disease, but no stones.

Today I had a nuclear medicine test called a hida scan. A hida scan tests the function of the gallbladder and the bile ducts. First, the nuc. med. tech injected me with isotopes, tracing through my small intestine to my gallbladder. For the first hour, I was under a scanner while we watched the fluid move about. It was quite similar to watching paint dry. Unfortunately, my gallbladder didn't show up, so I had to walk around for 15 minutes to move the dye around.

Even though it meant I was going to be stuck there longer, I was glad to be able to walk around because the table I was lying on was killing my back. I went to the waiting room to visit the Darce, who came with me knowing the test may make me sick (they wouldn't let her in the room, though), and we did a 15 minute power walk. I returned to the room, and voila, it worked. My gallbladder was lighting up on the screen, but it needed to get a bit brighter, so we did another 10 minute power walk. I'm totally counting that towards my workout today. ;0)

When I returned to the room, I heard the good news: I should be finished up in about 30 more minutes, as well as the bad news: and now was the time when they are going to inject the CCK into my blood stream, which makes the gallbladder contract. They say this may cause some discomfort for some people, but that is rare, however I knew better. I did a lot of research online, and I read many patient accounts. Some people feel nothing at all, and others feel exactly like they are having a gallbladder attack.

The CCK injection stimulates the same reaction you would have if you had gallbladder problems and ate a fatty meal, according to one of the techs I spoke to today. For some reason, however, some people with gallbladder issues have no reaction to the CCK, and other people who have a normal gallbladder have a really bad reaction. Strange. That's not the norm, though.

My tech was very nice, and he explained that he was going to go very very slow, injecting in a small amount of CCK at a time, so that it wouldn't be quite as painful, if I happened to have a reaction. Well, as you can surmise from my green face above, I had a reaction. My stomach cramped up like I had food poisoning, and a wave of nausea came over me. The tech was talking the entire time, and most of the time it was entertaining, but when I felt that sick, I was dying for him to stop. I almost vomited right on him - it was all I could do to keep it in, and then suddenly, as fast as it came on, the feeling passed and a few minutes later we were done.

I didn't let the tech know I was feeling sick, because I'm just not like that, but he may have been able to tell. He checked the results, and he said he's not an MD, but he predicts I'm going to get a normal reading on my gallbladder test, which means I probably don't have gallbladder disease, but now I'll have to go for a bunch of other tests to see what the real problem is. Who knows - he could be wrong, but if he's not, it's very strange that I had such a reaction to the CCK, as well as the two other attacks, whatever they were from.

The hida scan is not flawless, also, and the surgeon warned me about that as well. She said we still may determine that I need my gallbladder out even if this test doesn't indicate so, so I will know more when I meet with her again on Friday.

The entire process took almost 2.5 hrs. I felt really weak after the test, and I wasn't sure if it was because I was hungry (nothing to eat or drink before the test) or if the test just took a lot out of me. D and I stopped at Rita Mae's for a bite to eat, and I got a turkey sandwich. I felt really sick at the restaurant, and I almost bolted out of there a few times, but the feelings passed. As soon as I got home, I was sick.

So it is now 2 hrs after my test ended, and I'm just feeling a bit queasy, tired, and I'm having some flu like symptoms. I have an absurdly sensitive stomach, however, so I don't think most people would go through the same thing as I have, but I know that some have.

On one final positive note, I'm down a lb today, for a total of 141. That came as a surprise because I've been on the week on/week off losing pattern for so long. Now I'm just 9 lbs away from my one year goal of losing 150 (one year will be this fall), and 14 lbs away from losing Marcel/lo!

Monday, July 7, 2008

Adventures in shopping


I have to admit, my shopping trip was not nearly as traumatizing as I had thought it might be. The entire process took about 20 minutes (15 minutes driving time, 5 in the store), and I left very pleased with my purchase.
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I was planning to get a few tops/jackets to wear with some dress pants that I have. As I mentioned, I only have 3 suits that fit me right now, and they are all made of very hot material. I was hoping for some new options that would fit and be cool. When I entered the store, I saw that there were several suits on clearance, and I quickly found one that I really liked.
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It is an off white linen suit with a very summer on Cape Cod feel to it. It's fairly casual as far as suits go, but perfectly appropriate for summer business attire. I'm not good at describing clothes, so that's all you're getting out of me, but I will post a picture of me wearing it later.
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I tried it on (also something I never do), and I really liked the way it looked on me. I swear they have skinny mirrors in the dressing rooms, though. I decided to purchase it. It was originally a few hundred $$, but it was on clearance for $99. I still had $55 on my gift card, so I only had to pay $45. The suit is a bit tight on me, which is the idea, because I want to be able to wear it throughout the rest of the summer.
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If I still like it in a few months as much as I like it now, I'll save it for next spring, and I'll just have it taken in. It has simple lines, so that shouldn't be too difficult.
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It was nice being able to shop at a normal (not fat girl) store, and to be able to see something I like, try it on, have it fit, and be off. Shopping is not fun when you can't buy the things you like because you are too fat. Today I bought a suit I would buy and wear if I didn't have any weight left to lose, as I truly liked the style.
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For years and years I have had to buy clothing that fit me, and not clothing I liked. Sometimes I would like the clothes I bought, but usually, I just tolerated them. I will never be the type to spend a day with the girls shopping, but I did get a taste of the pleasure I will get from being able to actually buy the clothes I want.

Time to go shopping



That's me - all excited with my satchels. Not. Oy, who says 'not' still?

I detest shopping, but I do need new clothes. My summer clothes are all way too big for me. I have purchased a few items at Walmart for CHEAP to hold me over, but I need more. It's just such a waste though.

I also need more work clothes. I'm down to three outfits that fit me. The rest of the time, I'm still wearing things that are too big, and I look silly. I still have some $$ on a Macy's gift card that TJ and M gave me for Christmas, so I'm going there today to see if I can find a few things to hold me over.

What a great weekend! We had so much fun boating, and floating and swimming and being outside. I have today off as well, and while I plan to use a good portion of it for responsible stuff, I plan to have fun outside later as well.

I lost 5 lbs last week, so I'm sure I won't lose anything this week, but I will keep you posted either way.

XO

Sunday, July 6, 2008

Fireworks

As it turns out, it's not so easy to take pictures of fireworks. My camera has an annoying delay, and I kept missing every shot. This was the best picture I got, but the fireworks were amazing. I can't believe what a great job our neighbors do! They went on for an hour and a half! The DJ was great, and I performed for the masses as well. Good luck keeping any sort of microphone out of my hands!

The good news is - I've been eating perfectly thought it all, except for the not so good news - that I'm not eating enough. I've had company constantly for the past few days, and we've been so busy with the festivities that I haven't made time to eat as much as I should. Today things are calmer, and I have plenty of chicken and asparagus for left overs, so I plan to make use of that.

I was down another lb yesterday and then another one today, so now I've lost 140 lbs. Wow. I feel fantastic, and I'm loving my new life. I think it's hard for D sometimes because I get so much more attention from everyone now (and I got a lot to begin with), but I need to make sure to not let it go to my head, which I think I'm pretty good about.

Here is an updated picture of Marcel/lo, who I will be losing in 15 lbs:




Handsome devil. ;-)

Friday, July 4, 2008

Who needs the Brits!



Alternative title: Happy Independence Day!

Today is a big day for the river folk. Two of our neighbors, Bruno and Kenny, go all out with the fireworks. We're not talking those silly little kits you can buy at BJs, or even the stuff that's legal. They go directly to China for this show. (kidding, kind of) No, it's actually all legal, probably, but last year, they put on a city firework quality show. It was truly amazing.

Unfortunately, today is a bit overcast, and it's supposed to be partly cloudy all day. I'm hoping that doesn't interfere with the visibility. I'm going to take pictures tonight, and if they come out, I'll be sure to post them.

Bruno and Krissy's soiree begins at 2PM. They have hired a DJ to play from 5-9, and break from 9-10 for the fireworks, and then to play (should I say spin? that would be a stretch) from 10-12. They have also hired a cook to grill the hundreds of pounds of food they have (slight exaggeration).

D and I are having people up, but we're really just inviting them to K and B's party, and if they happen to be on our lawn next door, so be it. K has asked me to bring nachos - easy enough. I won't eat them though. That's the dilemma that is such a gathering.

I won't eat their corn fed beef, I'm sure the chicken won't be moist enough for me to eat (no offense to the cook - it's just that chicken on the grill is really hard to get moist enough for my band), all the side dishes will be fattening, and people will be badgering me to eat something the whole time, thinking I'm not somehow anorexic because I won't eat normal BBQ food.

I'm glad Lanie is eating all natural, healthy foods, because she can be my food sister today. That stuff doesn't tempt me - if I end up wanting to try a little bit of something/s, I certainly will, but I just don't want to plan that my entire meal is going to be made up of food that's less than ideal.

I'm sure there will be a hummus and tabouli sandwich in my future, and I think I'm going to grill up some chicken for lunch, so that I get my protein in. That is my plan.

I should shake a tail feather. I have guests arriving at 2 or earlier, and I still need to dust, sweep, vacuum, clean the porch, put the yard back together, get ice and a few other last minute things, etc...

Oh - last, but not least, I'm down another lb today for a total of 138 lbs gone forever. 17 more lbs until I lose Marcel/lo!

Thursday, July 3, 2008

9 month check up

Today is the 9 month anniversary of my lab band, and 10 month anniversary of healthy living. what a difference 9-10 months makes. As of today, I'm down another lb for a total of 137. For the past few months, I've been averaging 2.5 lbs per week, and this past month was no exception. I'm ahead of the curve, which is a 1-2 lb per week average, and I'm happy about that, but I'll live if it slows down too, and I wouldn't be surprised.


If I continue at this pace, I could be at my first goal by the middle to end of December. Originally, I was hoping for February of 09, and that would still be fine as well. I may hit my first goal and realize I need to be smaller, and I'll evaluate that when I get there.


As I've said for a while, I'd like to be at 150 lbs lost by my one year bandiversary, which is October 3rd. If I keep losing at this current pace, I'll hit it in mid-August, but we shall see.


150 is my next number goal, and my next person goal is a small, buff Brazilian named Marcel/lo, weighing in at a lean 155 lbs. I say "l/l" because Marcel/lo's correct spelling of his name, and his preferred spelling of his name involves a single vs. double "l" discrepancy, so avoid confusion, I spell his name Marcel/lo.


Marcel/lo is TJ's partner, and you all know TJ from his sarcastic witty upstaging comments to my blog. I may end up losing him too if I keep this up!


I don't have a recent picture of Marcel/lo, but I'll be sure to post one tomorrow. For now, you will have to get the idea from his holiday card, as well as his Halloween photo from years ago. I'll let you figure out which one is which:







And, we're back.

LOL - I picked this picture because it's soooo obnoxious. After reading TJ's blog today, I'm sure he'd like to smack me in the face, just for being so sunny at this hour. Sorray.

Yes, I'm back. Finally! I feel a thousand times better today than I have all week. I had my grass fed beef for dinner, and I didn't feel much better last night, but I have today off, and I could have slept in, but I leapt out of bed at 6AM feeling more energy than I have in a long time. I know it's not the 3.5 oz of red meat I had for dinner - I'm sure it's a combination of eating better yesterday, upping my iron, and giving the vitamins I had been taking a few days to get back into my system.

I'm all set for now, so I'm going off them again. Kidding! I had 2 oz lean beef for breakfast with one free range organic egg. I've already had 20% of my RDI for iron for the day, and I'll be taking the first batch of vitamins shortly. Incidentally, they still make me sick to my stomach. I'm dealing with it.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Yes, I'm self-diagnosing again



I know we ruled anemia out yesterday, but I'm ruling it back in. It occurred to me that the blood test results were from three weeks ago, and back then, I was eating much more iron than I've had lately. I ran a few reports on fitday.com, and I saw that three weeks ago, I was averaging between 50-60% of my daily recommended amount of iron. I'm at 20% for the past two weeks.

I've cut down on steak and eggs lately, both of which are iron rich, and I haven't been taking my supplement, so it's no wonder it's caught up with me.

Symptoms of iron-deficient anemia: extreme fatigue, pale complexion, temperature issues, shortness of breath...I have all of those symptoms, and I have a history of anemia, so I'm convinced that's my issue, coupled with the fact that my allergies have been terrible this week.

I'm going to live after all! I just need to continue taking my vitamins and iron, getting more iron rich foods into my diet, and monitoring my intake with my fitday reports more frequently. I also noticed that my calcium continues to be horridly low, so that's my next project. First things first.

Lastly, I'm supposed to average 50-70 grams of protein per day, and I've been at half that the past week, so I'm sure that's not helping any of this either. I can only take in so much food per day, so I need to make sure I'm thinking it through and making every bite count...also, I'm averaging 550 calories per day for the last week, and that's not good either. I'm going to step that up too.

I'm stepping up. Watch me go.

Casper, that's me



I am PALE today. Every time I look in the mirror, I'm horrified. It's not pretty. I slept better last night, but I still woke up tired. I know it's partially my allergies, but my energy level is just really low as well.

I'm just doing what I can to eat right, take my vitamins and exercise. If I'm feeling weak when I get home tonight (and eat my steak), I'll skip exercise for today, but if I'm feeling better, D and I are planning to hike Rock Rimmon, hopefully twice if I'm up for it.

I was down a lb today as predicted. Just one lonely little lb, but a lb no less. My total is now 136 down. I just ran into a colleague, and he told me I'm going to stop losing weight now - enough is enough. LOL. No, dear friends, we are no where near enough yet, but we're plugging away.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Busy bee

Today has been quite a busy day. I left Boston at 4:45, so that I could get home and make and eat dinner at a fairly reasonable hour, with the plan to continue working after. I stopped at A Market to pick up some grass fed beef on the way home. With that stop included (which took me 2 minutes), it took me just under 2 hours to get home.

I decided it was too late to get a steak dinner together, so I heated up two little organic turkey dogs in a Joseph's tortilla with mustard and ketchup. I wanted to get to the gym, but I knew it would take me a while to finish eating that, so I changed into my gym clothes, grabbed my dinner, and drove to Home Depot, where I had to pick up a cabinet that I ordered. After that, I grabbed a few things I needed at Target (including iron), and I headed to the gym.

There's something not quite right with me. I started sweating profusely again, and it was way too early in my workout. I started off exercising at my full weight levels, but very soon I had trouble with that and I had to reduce the weights. I felt a little dizzy too, so I plowed through my exercises and headed home.

I've been working since I got home, but I'm hoping to stop around 9:30. I'm giving my brain a little break, which is why I'm blogging right now. I did take my other calcium pill and my iron pill tonight, so I think I got it everything I was supposed to today. I've decided I'm only taking one iron pill a day as long as my iron level keeps increasing.

The steak is marinating, and I'm probably going to cook it tonight, so that I can have it ready when I get home tomorrow night. I may just leave it marinating all night, and then cook it quickly when I get home. The earliest I'll be home tomorrow night is 6:30, and I don't like to eat past 7, so I'll be cutting it close.

Always finding time to cook and eat healthy and work out is not an easy task. It's worth it, but it's not easy.

Things are looking up

I can't leave a negative post out there too long - it's just not like me. I'm doing better than I was this AM. I took my antibiotics, claritan and vitamins (except iron), but they did indeed make me feel sick. That passed, and now I think it's all helping. My back and arm aren't bothering me, so that's a nice change.

I think I may be a little bit sick/feverish because I have had the sweats today, bad. I was asked twice (jokingly) if I was going through menopause. That's lovely. I like to be a big sweat ball at work, let me tell you. I couldn't help it though - it was just pouring out of my head. I'm sitting in my freezing cold office right now, so that's a good thing.

The surgeon's office called me to see if I could have my bloodwork done again. They wanted to see if the results would be consistent. The woman I spoke to didn't know what specifically the MD was curious about, so I hung up the phone. I assumed it was my iron levels because I haven't been taking my iron and I've pretty much stopped eating red meat, so I thought that may be it. I just called her back to ask her what my hemoglobin level was in the bloodwork, and she said it's 11.1, and it's supposed to be between 12.1 and 15.1 in women. I know from my own history, that 11.1 is good-ish for me. I remember when it was as low as 6, so 11 is low, but not alarmingly so. If I just take my iron (or eat it!), I will be fine.

Now I'm wondering what may have stood out to her in my bloodwork. I have Thursday off, so I will plan to have it drawn then. In the mean time, I'm going to try to eat as nutrient rich foods as possible, and I think I'm going to go buy some grass fed beef. :)

I'm still planning to go to the gym tonight. I've been getting a head start on my work out by climbing the stairs six floors to my office today rather than taking the elevator, each time I've needed to come up.

Today is Canada day, and we are missing the festivities at Billy and Lanie's. D has to go dress shopping because she's in her sister's wedding, so she won't be home until late, and I'm working in Boston today, and so I will be getting home fairly late, and I still need to work out, but more than that, I'm just not at the top of my game, so I want to take it easy...other than my work out...;-)