You turkey!

I love that pic. I feel like I've used it before, so if I have, I apologize. It's still funny.

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I am a strange person. We know this. It was so nice going to Darcy's family's house yesterday and having the meal prepared for us! I always host the holidays, so it was a really nice treat! I savored the experience, and reflected many times on how relaxing it was not to have to do all that cooking, etc... Naturally, as soon as I got up this morning, I had to run to the grocery store to buy my own turkey and fixings to make a Thanksgiving dinner.

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I couldn't just let a holiday pass without me making a whole big meal. There is something wrong with me. I now have a *23* lb turkey cooking in my oven. That's all they had left, but it only cost $10! That's a bargain, my friend!

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I'm making it healthy, though. Everything I'm making is low fat and as low in calories as possible. That's just how I cook. I would have done the same thing even if I was hosting other people here, and they wouldn't have known. I'm good at cooking low fat foods, while preserving the full flavor. I bet you are skeptical. Try me - anytime.

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I ate too much yesterday. I didn't mean to. I only took small servings of everything, but I guess small servings still add up! I was in pain after the meal and very full for hours after. I promise, I took small portions! I skipped dessert, but I did have a small bite of Darcy's two pies - one was a toll house cookie pie and the other was a whipped eggnog cream pie. They were both phenomenal, as was the entire meal.

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I appeared to be down a lb today, which is kind of funny since yesterday was Thanksgiving, but that's just my messed up self. I'll take it. :)

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

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Today we are going to Darcy's parents house for the big meal. This is the first time in ages - I can't imagine how long - when I haven't hosted the meal myself. I thought I would miss all the preparation and cooking, but I don't. :) It's nice to not have to cook for days in preparation of a 30 minute meal.

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That's not to say I won't be ready to host again next year, but this year is a nice break. I'm not sure what's on the menu, but I imagine it will be a fairly traditional meal, which is how I like it. I'm also glad that I won't have a house full of leftovers. I will go, have my meal, not overdo it, and that will be that. There is no reason to go overboard just because it's a holiday.

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My sister is putting out quite the spread today: http://www.diningwell.blogspot.com/

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She puts the rest of us to shame, and I'm sure it will be a fantastic meal. If I lived in Georgia (for some strange reason), I would be honored to get to eat with her today. :)

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Holiday tip: Wear clothes that fit well (and not at all loose), so that you don't feel like you have room to spare when you're choosing your portion sizes. If you're really worried, wear pants that are on the snug side - it will be just the reminder you need when considering going for the second slice of pie!

Winner, winner, chicken dinner

Our dinner last night was delicious! It had been a long time since I'd made a comfort food meal like that, and the whole house still smells of the roasted chicken and herbs. I don't know why, but the food was melt in your mouth good. I prepared everything low fat, as always, and I can't wait to have leftovers for lunch!

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I'm continuing to make progress on my list, and I have 16 of the 26 things accomplished as of now. Hopefully I can cross laundry off the list later this morning, as I've already done five loads (we have a small stackable unit, so it takes forever), and two more should finish it off.

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I really want to tackle my long paper for school today, which is by far the most time consuming item on my list. I have some other things to get done mid morning today, but I plan to take that on later in the day. Wish me luck!

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I finally got a good night's rest last night, and boy, what a difference that makes! I haven't been sleeping well since my surgery, and I've felt like a zombie. I finally feel alive again. I'm going to continue to take vitamins each day, and I hope that helps me feel more human again too.

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I rescheduled my root canal. I got a strange feeling from the place I scheduled it with yesterday, and I found someone else who is highly recommended in my area, so I made an appointment with him for December 10th. I'm not in pain, so it's not a rush, but if I do start having pain, they can bring me in sooner.

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No change in my weight...still...I'm just glad to not gain during this lengthy plateau. Tomorrow is the 3 week anniversary of my gallbladder removal, so I'm halfway there to the point where I can exercise again!

Plugging away

I made a checklist this morning of lots of things I have needed to take care of. There are 26 items on the list, and I have made my way through 11 of them, so that feels good. My plan is to get through them by the end of the week, but I'd really like to finish them by Wednesday. I haven't tackled any of the really time consuming ones yet, so those are going to be a bit more challenging.

I've done my grocery shopping for the week, so there is no excuse not to make healthy choices for my meals. Tonight I'll be making an herb-roasted chicken with low-fat mashed potatoes, green beans and corn. I can't remember the last time I had corn, but it must have been a holiday. I remember the days when I actually counted corn as a vegetable! LOL... those were the days. ;-)

I very rarely make mashed potatoes as well, because I know it's not the best use of my calories, but I think a small serving of them will be just fine. I'm Irish - I can't have a meal like this without the potatoes!

I bought a bunch of fun frozen veggies at the grocery store today. I have lots of frozen meat, and I still have leftovers from the roasted vegetable/sausage orzo dish, and I know I'll have plenty left over from the chicken as well, so I won't need to cook again until Wednesday night, I'm guessing.

Lunch is a challenge for me lately. Other than leftovers, I can't think of anything I want. I overdid it with the Joseph's tortilla wraps, and now I'm sick of them. I've also had salad for lunch thousands of times, so that's getting a bit old too. I try to avoid frozen lunches, because they are made with such unnatural food...sometimes finding foods to eat just gets to be annoying. Leftovers are key, because I always like them. I just need to remember to cook dinner, and we'll be all set!

I have a root canal scheduled for tomorrow afternoon. That was one of the items on my list. I haven't been to the gym yet, but I'll probably go tomorrow. I know it's fairly pointless, but I just don't want to get too terribly off track with my routine.

I guess that's all the news that's fit to print.

Careful!

Lately, I have had to work a lot harder to stay on track than I normally do. I know I blame a lot of the things that have come up as distractions, and that is valid to a point, but it's been harder than I thought to get back on track. There were several days last week when I decided I needed to make more of an effort to grocery shop, plan my meals, etc... Things keep coming up!

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Yesterday, I finally went grocery shopping, but I just wasn't up for cooking. I still feel pretty tired from all life's recent events, and my energy level just isn't where it normally is. I have been given the gift of time, and I want to use it wisely, but it's hard to not want to just relax for a few days, accomplishing nothing.

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I know I deserve to take a few days off, but I really don't have a few days to spare. I have work that is due for school, I need to start a job search (although I am blessed to now have two very promising opportunities that I have been approached about), I need to get caught up on so many things I have pushed aside...I will feel better mentally and emotionally if I accomplish the things I would like to accomplish.

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Once I feel as though I'm in a better place to take a few days off, then I will take a few days off. I need to snap out of the haze I'm in and get back to living my life and my routine. I started off the day yesterday with a healthy breakfast, but then I felt lazy and tired so I ate take out leftovers for lunch and got a pizza for dinner. That would be okay to do if I hadn't been eating take out for the past two weeks!

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It's time to get those fresh, home made foods back in my system! I went to the grocery store, but I only had enough oomf to get one meal's worth of food to cook. That's okay. I will cook that meal for lunch today, and we will be taking Alison out for dinner tonight (Happy Birthday, Alison!), so tomorrow, I can finish the rest of my shopping for the week. Every recipe I thought of making just seemed so overwhelming...I can't just buy meats and vegetables because I have to go to the natural foods market for those, so the things I can buy at the regular grocery store are always more complicated.

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I will make time to go to the natural foods store today or tomorrow. As for today, I'm making my chicken sausage (organic) and roasted vegetable orzo dish with whole grain orzo and reduced fat feta. I love this dish, and I always get many, many meals out of it, so that's nice to have in the house!

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I'm going to work on my case study for a bit, and when I'm ready for a break, I'll start cooking the lunch. I think I need to take a vitamin or two. I haven't been eating a well balanced diet like I used to, and my body feels blah. I may go to the gym today too - just to go. I know I'm not allowed to work out, but I believe I am allowed to walk slowly on a flat surface, and while that probably won't melt the lbs away, it may help my mental health that misses being active and working out, and it may help me feel like I'm getting back into my healthy living routine.

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My new (used) iPod arrived in the mail earlier this week, so I'm going to sync all of my music, and perhaps download a few shows to watch. I do want to take it easy because I'm having trouble with one of my incisions, and although I'm now on antibiotics, I know I need to be very careful. I think I'll go tanning today too when I go to the gym. I know it's bad for you if you overdo it, but I only go a few times a year, and I don't think that can be too harmful. It's just sooo cold out, and I miss the sun and the warmth.

Tell me who can stop the rain?

They say bad things happen in threes...I'm up to five, so I'm hoping that doesn't mean a 6th is on the way...

Darcy lost her job, I had to have surgery, Darcy broke her shoulder, my grandmother passed away, and I lost my job on Wednesday. This is all within the past few weeks. Darcy thinks we should play the lottery because something is up.

I'm not devastated about losing my job. I'm ready for something new, and I feel like I have some time to figure all of that out with my severence package. It is still scary owning two homes with new mortgages on both, while the two of us are unemployed in a record breaking terrible market.

Thankfully, I'm really not one to give into fear or panic or anxiety. I have some options, and although I'm not sure what I want to do, I'm hoping I'll know more after a meeting I have this morning about a potential job offer. The position would be local, so I would have a 10 minute commute (I've never had that in my life), and the position is very interesting and I would get to broaden my skill set. It seems like an exciting opportunity, but nothing is set in stone, so I'm not getting my hopes up too high.

I'm looking forward to having some time off. I've been *so* busy this past year, I would like to have some breathing room to get caught up on all those pesky life things that fall by the wayside. I have a lot of those. I also thought this would be a good time to take the courses for my personal trainer certification, so I'm going to look into that again.

On the food front, I haven't been great with all that's been happening in the past few weeks, but that's mainly because I haven't had time to plan proper meals. I think the dust is finally settling...for real...so I am going to go grocery shopping today to get back on track with a well balanced diet.

My weight is still the same. My knee feels fine, and as soon as I have clearance to exercise, I will!

Saying goodbye

Yesterday my grandmother was laid to rest. It was a nice ceremony, and my Mother read all of the letters we wrote to my grandmother. They were all so thoughtful and moving, and my Mom did a great job! I wouldn't have been able to read them without choking on the words.

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I was doing okay, not getting too emotional at the funeral until I saw my dear friend Stephanie coming in. I didn't expect any of my friends to come because it was a small service, and there wasn't a wake, which is when my friends would have come, and I was just so surprised and moved to see her there, I lost it. I just know it's a lot for her to come to a service like that where she wouldn't know anyone, and I know she hasn't seen my family in years, so that's another thing...it was just really sweet, and I was touched.

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It was nice catching up with relatives I hadn't seen in a while as well.

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I'm going to miss her my Grammy so much, but I will try to honor her memory by eating more vegetables! She would like that. :)

Social Gatherings

For some reason, no one seems to think of bringing healthy options to pot lucks or other social gatherings. I'm not sure why that is. Is that because it's a time for healthy people to indulge? I'm still learning the rules of how the skinny people eat and reason these choices. I indulge if I feel like it, and I've made it a point not to associate it with events, or vacations or other things because for fat people, as soon as there is a justification to indulge, there appears to be a wagon to fall off that's related.

I don't know why that is.

The many times I dieted, I would give myself permission to indulge for (insert excuse), and it almost always lead to me abandoning my diet. This does not appear to be an issue for skinny people. They can associate naughty foods with weddings or vacations or parties, and it does not turn them into food consuming machines.

I think my brain will always need to be wired slightly differently than those folks, and that's okay. I had to press on past many points of no return to break the sensors in my head that tell most people that it's taboo to eat so much that you grow to be the size of a barn. So I'm playing with a different set of rules - that's fine. As long as they work!

We were planning the food for the gathering after the funeral today, and we called around to see what everyone was bringing. I didn't hear any healthy options - no surprise. For healthy options, I'm bringing a salad and veggies and dip, but that's really all I had time for. Everything else we're bringing is just as bad as all the other foods everyone else is bringing.

I did volunteer for the task of grocery shopping, so at least I was able to buy healthy ingredients whenever I was able to. I bought low fat sour cream for the dips, reduced fat feta for the pasta salad (I forgot pasta, so my Mom was stuck using what I had in the house, which was multigrain), etc... I always buy low fat foods when I'm cooking for others. I never used to do that before when I was dieting, but it's just hard for me to buy full fat items...I feel like I'm hurting my guests...although they probably wish I would...LOL

I entertain a lot, and I've found there are not many healthy staples for the pot luck event, so I'm going to make an effort to start thinking of some for the future. I'm thinking turkey keilbasa in a splenda brown sugar sauce, low fat mexican layer dip (easy), etc... There are plenty of options...I should document them!

Time for a drink

I was reading my friend Kitty's blog yesterday, and she mentioned how she's going to try to continue to drink 100 oz water each day. I normally get in about 64 oz each day, but I haven't been giving it much thought in a long time. I normally only drink water or Crystal Light (which my MD and dietitian say is close enough), so everything I consume goes toward my water count.

This week has just been an off week in many respects. I can't work out, I haven't been making meals at home, and somehow I ran out of water, so I started drinking diet coke. I probably drank 2/3rd of a 2 liter bottle yesterday. Don't worry - I'm not going back to my old diet coke ways...it was just in the house, and I was exhausted, so I figured I should drink it.

Kitty's blog reminded me of the importance of water (thanks Kitty!), and so far it's 8:23 AM, and I've already had 48 oz. Good girl.

I have no idea what I weigh - I need a new battery for my scale. My weight spanned 20 lbs in range this AM, so yeah, it's not working. I didn't eat very well yesterday, but today is a new day. It's not that I'm in a funk with food - I just haven't made it the priority I should because I've had so much else going on.

On the upside, I did get a big chunk of a case study done for school yesterday, as well as putting together 4 collages of pictures, etc, of my grandmother, and I finally found centerpieces that I am going to make for the tables at the (whatever it's called) after the funeral tomorrow.

This morning, I got all of my homework done for art class, as well as some work, although I have more I need to do once I'm done blogging. Today we are going to set up the clubhouse room at my grandmother's elderly housing community so that it will be all set for us to go there tomorrow after the funeral. I still need to pick up a few things for that, and we are going to be doing some cooking as well. If we have free time tonight, we may go to the movies.

Tomorrow will be busy - I want to get to the clubhouse in the AM before the funeral to make sure everything is set up, and to drop off the food, ice, etc. We have the reception thing from 12-2, and I need to be at art class by 5:30. I would skip it, but I already missed three classes from being sick, so I'm pretty sure if I miss another, I'll have to retake the class. No thanks. My professor has been very understanding with me, and I appreciate it. She's actually meeting with me early on Monday night to review any information I missed from the past two classes.

I'm still disappointed that I can't work out, but in a few days, the dust will have settled in my life (I hope!), and I can get back to planning my meals, etc... In the mean time, I'm going to drink as much water as I can to flush out my system and hopefully help me lose weight, even though I'm stagnant.

Fit Day

I haven't been that great about tracking my foods on fitday the past 2 weeks. Last week, I had my surgery, and that threw me for a loop, and this week has been a crazy week on its own. I last tracked my calories on Tuesday, but I got caught up this morning. I've been averaging between 1000 - 1200 calories per day this week, which isn't terrible since I've been eating out more than usual, which is to be expected...

I'm tired - I haven't been sleeping great, and I feel like I could use a big fat nap. I'm going to call my MD today to find out when I can return to working out. I'm bored of being a lump.

TJ was kind enough to loan me his iPod shuffle these past few months since I lost my iPod, but I just ordered another iPod online this week. I bought it used on Amazon, and I'm still hoping the one Darcy bought me will pop up.

It will be nice to have the video feature again so that I can watch TV and movies while I ride the boring exercise bike. I hope it arrives soon!

I just tried my surgeon's office, and he's off today. I'm calling my PCP to see what they think about me doing some very light lower body exercise, like a low speed on the exercise bike. I'm sure it will be fine. I'm not going to lift any weights, or anything...

Oh boy, I'm on hold with them now. They just told me I need to wait SIX weeks to exercise. Are you kidding me? They are double checking. They said I could do some light walking if I want, but I should wait at least 2 weeks from the surgery date to do that. Good thing I didn't go hiking with my Dad yesterday like we had talked about!

Six weeks seems a bit excessive. I'm hoping she has a different answer for me when she comes back on the line. She said that even an exercise bike could pull on the wounds, even going slow. What a bummer...okay...she just came back on the line and said that it's 4-6 weeks, and I should get clearance from the MD first even at that.

I'm destined to not lose weight for a little while, so that's just that. It's okay. I'm perfectly comfortable at my current weight (don't worry - not too comfortable), and I'll just continue to eat healthy and exercise as soon as I'm cleared!

If you can go to the gym, go! You'd miss it if you weren't able.

Grammy

My dear little grandmother passed away last night. She lived her life independently until the end, and she didn't suffer for months on end in a nursing home as is so common in elderly folks. I know that's just how she would have wanted it, and I'm glad for her, but it is just so sad for us.

My grandmother and I had a lot in common, but there are some traits of hers that I wish were part of our commonness, such as her OCD like cleanliness, frugality, and inability to gain weight!

She would always say how she loooooved vegetables, and she'd rather have her greens than chocolate ANY day. God love her. ;-) That's not to say she never touched bad foods - Darcy and I used to take her out for seafood all the time, and she cold eat any fisherman under the table! She would pile in the onion rings, baked haddock, scallops, lobster, shrimp - whatever you put on her plate went in!

"I'm not very hungry, but if YOU girls want to get something to eat, I suppose we could," she'd say. I would pretend that I was the one dying to go out for seafood even though I would always (ALWAYS) order chicken, and that "not very hungry" little thing would polish off her entire plate, and often a lot of mine!

I loved watching her eat, because she was such a little bitty thing, but she could pack it away! Adorable.

Darcy and I always looked forward to seeing her, and we always had a blast with her. She was 55 years older than me, but we laughed and joked together like we were the best of friends. I have a lot more to say about her, but I'm going to put my thoughts together carefully to be read at the service on Monday.

I am going to miss her terribly, but I have a lifetime of fond memories, laughs and a heart full of love for her.

My grandmother looooved to dance when she was younger, and I hope she's off kicking up her heels right now!

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The last of my water weight is gone...maybe now I can start losing actual weight. I think my plateau has a crush on me, and that's why it won't let me go... I can't say I blame it.

No word on my dear little grandmother...I've taken a personal day to be with her and my family, although we are not allowed to go to the ICU until 11 AM, so I'm going to get some work done until then. I probably slept 2 hours last night. I got up in the middle of the night and completed a big project for work that had been troubling me, so that was a good outcome. At least I don't waste insomnia on tossing and turning!

I'm not tired now, but I'm sure I will be later. I'll muscle through...I have big muscles. :)

Dinner time

My dinner plan has changed since this morning. On my way to pick my Dad up from the airport, I learned that my grandmother went into cardiac arrest this morning, and she has been in a coma since. We don't know if she had brain damage as a result, or if she will recover. I just don't want her to be in pain...

It's been a sad and draining day, and I'm not feeling that great. I don't have it in me to cook, so we're ordering Chinese...not the best choice, I know - especially as I try to get rid of the last 2 lbs of my water weight! Oh well.

I've already figured out what I'm going to eat out of what I ordered, and I plugged it into fitday.com, and I'm within my calories for the day, so that is good at least. I'm not an emotional eater - I'm just a sick eater (I eat bad when I'm sick).

I left the hospital a little while ago, and my Dad is still there, so I'm hoping to hear an update soon.

More water...going away...

Did you know that a gallon of water weighs about 8.34 lbs? I did not realize that. When I had my surgery, I gained a gallon of water! As of this morning, 6 of the 8 lbs are finally gone, so that is a relief. I could feel a difference in my jeans from the extra 8, and that's no fun!

I stuck to my eating plan yesterday, and it was nice to finally have a home cooked meal for the first time in...I can't remember! Darcy is finally turning a corner with her pain too, so that's good. She's still immobile, and in quite a bit of pain, but she's becoming a human again...talking...etc...so that's a relief.

I overdid it, and that may be why some of my incisions are now infected. Dummy. I know. I cleaned out the wounds last night (sounds more disgusting than it really was, I promise), and today they are looking *much* better.

I'm looking forward to seeing my Dad today! He hasn't been here since June. I'm sorry he had to come under these circumstances, but my grandmother is doing much better, and I think we'll have time to have some fun.

I want to stay on track with planning my daily meals ahead of time for the time being, so today is as follows:

Breakfast - multigrain cheerios with a banana and milk
Lunch - (Tough call...I'm picking my Dad up from the airport at noon, and we have no lunch foods in the house...I did a terrible job grocery shopping yesterday...maybe we'll go out to lunch, which is not my plan, but that's fine...I'll get a grilled chicken salad with lite dressing or something comparable wherever we go)
Dinner - roasted chicken with red potatoes, mulitgrain rice pilaf and a garden salad
Snacks - fresh fruit - it's delicious!

I'm glad my Dad will be staying with us this week, because it's another excuse for me to make sure we are planning our meals in advance. With Darcy out of commission and me still on the mend, it's easy to order in, but having my father here will be an excuse to make meals, which is healthier, more cost effective, and usually tastier!

How sweet it is

Some of my darling employees sent me a get well basket from edible arrangements on Friday. It was so sweet of them! I just love fresh fruit, and it really brightened my day!

I've been on a bit of a food bender the past few days... I'm PMSing, and I'm feeling under the weather from the surgery, and probably more sorry for myself than usual since things have been so crazy these past few days, so I've just been eating whatever...

I am not up for cooking, and Darcy can't even move, so we've just been ordering in each meal...even if you try to pick something healthy, it never really is.

Enough is enough. I feel gross. I know part of that is because I'm recovering still, but the other part is because I've been fueling myself with junk food. Yesterday I had 1/2 a bacon burger for breakfast, a slice of pizza for lunch, and mozzerella sticks for dinner. Gross.

I ordered a salad for dinner, and I got the mozzerella sticks as an appetizer for Darcy, but I ended up eating those instead of my salad because it was just easier than all that cutting up of chicken and lettuce... How lazy can a person be.

On the flip side, apparently my gallbladder surgery worked because had I eaten that food before, I would have been on the floor in pain. I'm not sure that's a good thing... ;-)

I've let myself be slothful for the past few days, and that is coming to an end today. I'm going to plan my meals ahead of time until I'm back in a groove with cooking so that I can ensure I'm eating healthy.

Breakfast: multigrain cheerios with fruit and skim milk
Lunch: grilled chicken salad
Dinner: pork chops with a few baked sweet potato fries and green beans
Snack: fresh fruit from my edible arrangement!

Alison was a savior and came up on Saturday night to help clean/wash dishes/etc, and also just to wait on me and Darcy. It was a tremendous help, and I'm so thankful. She stayed until mid day yesterday, and I missed her when she was gone!

Out of me and Darcy, she wins for the most sick, so I'm in charge of everything, and on my feet and moving around more than I'm really comfortable with. My Dad is coming tomorrow to stay with us for a week, and Alison was a great help by changing the sheets in the guest bedroom, doing the dishes, sweeping, etc... I still have a bit more that needs to be done before he arrives, and I think I'll see if Stephanie and Carolyn can come over tonight to help. Alison offered to come back after work, but that's crazy, as she works in Burlington, MA, and she doesn't get out until 6.

You are very sweet, though, Ali!

As I've said before, I'm extremely lucky to have such wonderful friends that I can count on when I need to.

My grandmother's surgery went well yesterday, and my Dad will be helping to get arrangements together to move her into an assisted living facility while she continues to recover.

I was able to postpone our trip to Florida, and while it's slightly disappointing, it's more of a relief. If you could see how much pain Darcy is in, the thought of schlepping her down to Florida in one week would probably sound horrifying, and not at all relaxing or fun, to you too. :) The poor kid. We are going to try to get an appointment with the orthopedic surgeon today, and I'm hoping there is *something* they can do to help the kid out. She's just in excruciating pain constantly, and so she's drugged up on pain killers and stuck in either a chair or bed propped up, just hoping to fall asleep so she's not in pain.

Somehow, I was able to change our tickets for just $20/piece, and our hotel in Key West honored our November rates for January, surprisingly! The car rental is going to be the same cost too. The house we are renting in Ft. Lauderdale, however, is double the nightly amount in January. We could stay at a really nice resort for the same price as it will be now, but that's not what I want. I want to stay at a house so that we can save money on meals and be able to buy groceries and cook for ourselves to stay healthy while we're down there.

I'm checking to see if the rental agent has any properties (with a pool!) that are cheaper for January, where I won't lose the deposit I already sent... cross your fingers...

I suppose you are now completely caught up on my little life, so I will sign off for now.

Stay safe...it's a jungle out there!

Water weight

The water weight from surgery is finally coming off. I thought it would have been sooner, but who knows. I was finally down about 2 lbs today of the 8 I was up after surgery. Hopefully the rest will be gone soon - mainly just because I'm uncomfortable being so bloated. I'm not actually worried about the number on the scale, as I'm trying to heal.

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What a weekend. I spend most of the day yesterday in the ER. First because Darcy fell and managed to somehow break her shoulder, and second because my poor grandmother fell and broke her hip! If bad things happen in three's, as they say, I'm hoping my gallbladder surgery counts as the first of three because I'm to tired for another crisis.

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My grandmother is having surgery today to repair her hip, so I'm hoping that goes as well as possible. The poor woman was lying on the floor of her apartment all night long until a neighbor found her (thank God) the next morning.

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I'm still sore from the surgery, and the pain makes me sleepy. Darce and I went to bed at 8:30 last night, but she woke up in pain at 1AM, and I couldn't fall back to sleep until 5AM. After trying for an hour, I decided to use the time to get some work done, so at least it was productive.

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I don't know what to do about Florida. I need a vacation like you wouldn't believe, but it's going to be hard to travel with broken shoulder McGee... I've already paid for the house we're renting in FL as well as the hotel in Key West (and the plane tickets), so it may be too late to reschedule even if we want to. I'm going to look into this today.

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If we do postpone the trip, I'm still going to take a little bit of time off. Work has been very challenging this past week, and I just need some time to decompress. Everything will be fine.

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I'm hoping to be good as new in a few days so that I can get back to the gym. I feel flabby. We can't have that.

Japanese ketchup

We went out for lunch at a Japanese steakhouse after we went shopping today. It was nice to be out of the house, but I got tired pretty quickly. I got two new winter jackets, so that was nice - one for work and one for play. They are both size XL, which is good because I will have plenty of room to have sweaters and sweatshirts underneath. Our lunch was delicious - I had filet mignon and shrimp with grilled veggies and fried rice. I didn't eat much of the rice, but the steak, shrimp and veggies were fantastic!

I'm back home now, and back to work, but I'm still feeling cabin fever from being stuck in the house almost all week. I started to clean the house earlier, but I get tired pretty quickly. I have a bunch of work and homework to do this weekend, and I'm hoping my energy levels are up so that I can accomplish what I need to.

Phat lip

(not my actual lip)

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Something happened during surgery, and as a result, I have a fat lip on the left side of my mouth. I don't know if it was from the intubation or if I just bit my lip really hard during the procedure, but it's really annoying, and it's in the way. It kind of hurts too!

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I've had plenty of popsicles and italian ice, but the swelling doesn't seem to be going down. I know it will eventually.

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I'm feeling better each day. I'm tired and sore today, but I think I'm moving away from the pain meds onto advil unless that really doesn't work for me. I think it will be fine. I still have shoulder pain (from the gas that they pump you up with to do the surgery), but I think that has worked itself out mostly.

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My stomach is sore, but that's going to be the case for a while. I'm sick of sleeping on my left side because my left hip is starting to ache. Hopefully I can sleep normally tonight.

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I think I'm back to a regular diet as of today. I don't feel nauseous. I'm going to have cheerios with fruit and milk for breakfast, and I'm thinking of having grilled veggies with steak for lunch. I'll probably have left overs for dinner.

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I'm completely bored of sitting around the house, so I think I'll go shopping at some point today to get some exercise in. It's good for me to be moving around, and I'm not going to rip anything open, Ali, I promise! I will take it very easy.

Walk a mile in my shoes

Darcy and I went for a walk today - it was just over a mile. It was good to get out there and move around, and I felt fine. I could have gone much longer, but I wanted to take it easy.

My pain has been pretty consistent today. I take pain meds, it subsides a bit, I get sleepy, it wears off and comes back...

It's certainly manageable. I'm hoping by tomorrow it will be even less.

Hit by a bus

They warned me this may happen...as soon as the pain meds wore off, I would feel like I had been hit by a bus. This is true, but I don't mind...it's *still* nothing compared to the gallbladder pain I had been experiencing.

I have been taking percoset every 5 or 6 hrs, and like clockwork, as soon as it wears off the pain is BACK. It woke me up in the middle of the night, and I took my pills, and then fell back asleep. As soon as 5 more hours passed, I woke up again in pain, but this time it was 6AM, so I thought it was time to get up.

I went to bed at 8PM last night, but I had been dozing off and on on the couch (more dozing than not) since 4:30 or 5. This week has taken a lot out of me! The MD prescribed me vicodin earlier in the week for my pain, which isn't as strong as percoset, so I took that this AM. I am going to try to work from home today, so I don't want to be nodding off or loopy. If I need something stronger for the pain, I'll take it, but it's worth a try.

They said the IV makes you gain up to 10 lbs of water weight, and I was up 8 this AM from yesterday...does that mean I'm down 2 lbs? JK. I'm most *definitely* bloated, but obviously, that is not a concern for me right now.

I walked around the house last night to get myself moving, and I went up and down the stairs about 20 times. Today, I'm going to go for a short walk...about a mile...as soon as the sun comes up. I know I will heal faster as long as I move more, in a responsible way.

I know I'm an optimist, but I'm pretty sure I'll be good as new by Saturday, and significantly better by tomorrow.

I will keep you posted!

Home sweet home

I'm so happy to be back home! Today's surgery went off without a hitch, and I recovered in record time. (At least that's my story.) I told Darcy prior to going in that I didn't want her to stray too far, because I'm an overacheiver, and I fully intend to recover quicker than the norm. Usually, they admit you after being in the PACU for a few hours, to keep you under observation, but I was determined to recover at lightening speed, dodging the need to be admitted.

My plan worked. As soon as I came too, I was coherent and asking to get dressed. They still made me wait for an hour while they observed me, but they skipped the admitting part. I read my chart (naturally), and it said that the patient awoke from anesthesia with good color and coherence, asking for her clothing. LOL.

I'm home now and very sleepy. Darcy is at the store getting me soup, popsicles, pain meds and movies. I'm cuddled up on a chair with a blanket, italian ice (for my sore throat from the intubation), my computer and a terrible movie. I really hope she gets home soon with better options because I may have to ask to be readmitted if I'm stuck watching the Simpson's movie for another minute.

My pre-op RN remembered me from last year when I had the lap band, and she was really surprised about the progress I'd made. That always feels good! The anesthesiologist was getting into a joke argument (joke, as in I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt) with one of the other RNs about our new "terrorist affiliated" president. She sees the silver lining as the fact that at least we can move away from this affirmative action stuff.

I'm opinionated, but I always give the other side my attention so that I'm not blindly making decisions, however, there is a time and a place for these discussions, and the operating room is not that place! Thankfully, I'm amused by social faux pas, so I just laughed at both of them.

That's really it - I'm on bed rest for the next 24-48 hrs, and I can eat anything I want after 24 hrs. For the next 24 hrs, I'm to avoid heavy foods, which is why I'm sticking with popsicles, sherbet, crackers and light soup. After that, I will ease my way into a normal diet.

Thank you all again for your prayers and thoughts and words of encouragement. I'm very lucky to be living in 2008 and to have a truly awesome surgeon. I wasn't nervous for one second, and that's only because I know and trust my surgeon so much.

Can you even call it going under the knife?

Today is the day my pesky little gallbladder will be removed forever. See ya! What a hassle this little organ has become. Thankfully, it cooperated for my party on Sunday, but Monday I was very sick. The pain meds didn't seem to do anything, although I'm sure they did, and the pain would have been that much worse without them. Yesterday I was achy and exhausted all day as a leftover from Monday. Today, however, I feel fine.

It's 7:30, and we're leaving in about 15 minutes. We are supposed to get to the hospital at 9:15, so 90 minutes should give us *plenty* of time. I don't want to be late like I was last year, even though it was only by a few minutes...I feel a little hungry, and I can't eat or drink anything, naturally. I don't know when the next time I can eat will be. I just googled this, and it looks like I can eat fairly soon after surgery (maybe tomorrow), but there is usually a very strict no fat diet - not even lean chicken or anything like that. That's fine...I just want to be well.

I can't wait until this is behind me so that I can get back to my healthy eating routine. The strangest things have been setting me off (like salad) while other things (steak and mashed potatoes or spaghetti) have been fine, so I've been eating the foods that don't bother me over and over, and they aren't exactly a well balanced diet. I haven't cared because all I wanted was to avoid and attack, and if those foods worked, who cares.

I haven't gained any weight, but I haven't lost any either. I think I was down another lb over the weekend, but it's back today, so we'll just wait to make sure it's gone for good to count it. The past two weeks have been tough, as I have been sick off and on the whole time, and unable to exercise or feel like myself. I'm very eager to get this behind me, and get back on track.

I will check in post op. Thanks for all the well wishes!

PS - I hope you all enjoy this historic day in American history, regardless of your party preference. :)

How does this happen?

In preparation for our Halloween party, Darcy and I took on a few major projects around the house...mainly related to organizing our clothing. I always seem to have an insane amount of clothing - I'm not sure how this happens, since I don't feel like I ever shop... Still, as I lose weight or move, etc, I always find myself with tons and tons of clothing to get rid of.

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Darcy and I have a very small stackable washer and dryer at the house, and it's easy to get behind in laundry as a result. I wanted to get fully caught up on laundry, so we went to the coin-op laundromat down the street. We managed to spend over FIFTY dollars on our laundry. Now that it's all clean, we are trying our best to figure out where to put it all... I think we probably have over 100 t shirts between the two of us...I can't imagine why...

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Anyway, the picture above is all of our mismatched socks. I'm going to try to match them up, but we already have 3 small drawers full of matched socks. I can't imagine where I would put these, or why someone would need so many socks. Seeing the giant pile of mismatched socks made me pause to consider how something could get so out of hand...both the purchasing of such a large quantity of socks, as well as the neglect to match them up, for what must be an extremely long time period.

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It reminded me of my weight struggles. I don't know how I ever allowed myself to abuse my body so severely that I got as big as I did. I have a good self esteem, and it's so out of character for me to be slovenly. You would think at some point along the way, I would have said enough is enough before growing to be *200* lbs over weight... Yes, I dieted, but I should have tirelessly fought to get healthy. I grew complacent, and then all of the sudden, I was enormous.

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I'm growing tired of my plateau. I'm not discouraged and doubting my journey, but I'm starting to feel fat. I'm still 40 lbs overweight, and coming off the high of losing 160+ lbs, I felt thin, but now that I've been losing so slowly, I've gotten really used to being the size I am now, and I feel like a bit of a fat slob. It's just not a nice feeling. I need to spend more time exercising, and I know that will make all the difference I need.

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I'm looking forward to putting my surgery behind me. I made it a full day without an attack today, so that is a good thing!

I'm off to match up my socks!