Used to being a loser

I had grown so accustomed to losing weight this past week, I was disappointed not to lose anything on Sunday or Monday. Thankfully, I was down another lb today, so now 91 is the total. 9 more lbs to 100!!! That's crazy. I was looking at myself in the mirror this morning, and I almost didn't believe my eyes. The person I saw in the mirror was much smaller than the person I envision when I picture myself.

Usually, the opposite was true for me. When I weighed 90 lbs more, I thought I was smaller than I was, and I was often surprised when I looked in the mirror or saw pictures of myself because I didn't envision myself as big as I was. I have been the size I am now many other times during my adult life. The last time I was this size was 3-4 years ago. I thought I looked pretty good at the time! I don't feel that way now. I don't think I look bad, but all I know is that I have a lot more to lose, and I'm not going to let myself get comfortable with my weight until I'm healthy!

I had a certain goal weight in my head when I started this journey, and believe me, I'll be happy if I reach it and stay there, but now I'm thinking I want to weigh even less than my goal weight. We'll see. I have a long way to go, and I know the last 20-30 lbs will be the hardest, although I can't even imagine being only 20-30 lbs overweight. The last time I was only 20 lbs overweight was when I was 19!! Yikes.