How to make your mother squeal

Every quarter at work, the entire leadership team (600 people) have an off site, two day training event for our development. In general, we are a very conservative organization, and that is most clear in the way we dress. For these events, however, we are instructed to dress casual - jeans are okay, etc... I don't have casual clothes that are appropriate for work. I have work clothes and then my real clothes. They are not anywhere near similar.

I tend to buy jeans that have rips in them - not gross 80's rips, but just funky little markings to spice them up a bit. I don't really have any boring jeans that would work for these events. I don't wear khaki's when I'm casual - I'm all or nothing, so when I'm casual, I'm CASUAL. I had a few pairs of pants that I wore for these events in the past, but now that I've lost 115 lbs, I didn't have anything.

D had an outfit to return to the Avenue from her birthday, so we went there last week. I bought two pairs of pants for this week. I wore one pair today, which brings me to the point where I made my mother squeal.

We talked about my day and my MD visits (I think I'm okay, but I'll know more on Thursday - I may be missing something from my reproductive system, but now is that really a surprise?? LOL) She asked me what else was new, so I told her I was wearing a size 18 pair of pants. You should have HEARD her!!! She was as giddy as a school girl on bring your daddy to work day!

Mom - you are cute.

Now, most people would be horrified to be in a size 18. For my height and body structure, ideally I should be in a size 10, which is still big. In all reality, I look pretty thin when I'm in a 12 or 14. (Disclaimer: most of my pants are men's pants, but for the purpose of this story, I'm using women's sizes since the pair I had on today were women's.) However, when you consider that I'm down like 8 sizes to be in an 18, it's a little more impressive.

Okay, not to lead you on, dear reader, I'm not actually in a size 18 currently, BUT the pair I wore today WERE size 18. I have other 18's that don't fit yet, but at least one pair did. I was also happy today because TJ told me how small he thinks I'm getting. That ALWAYS makes me happy! TJ is always very complimentary and supportive, and I adore him for it. I like to surround myself with people who compliment me. LOL ;-)

Anyway, I never posted a 115 lb loss pic, so here it is, in the outfit I wore today (just for fun I'll include the famous before pic as well...it's the one on the right...where I'm bigger...can you tell?):

Sicko

My apologies for not posting these past few days. I haven't been feeling well, and I've been homebound. I haven't been to the gym, and I really miss it. I'm still not up to working out. I haven't been eating that great either. I've been within my daily calories, but I'm not making the healthiest choices. I'm using my sickness as an excuse to be lax with my usual guidelines. Maybe that's okay to do, and maybe it isn't. I'll decide when I'm no longer sick. :)

I'm bloated like crazy, and that's not helping me feel much better!

As a result of the lovely bloat, I'm up my usual few lbs of water weight, that will be gone soon - hopefully!

I haven't celebrated my loss of Krissy yet because I haven't been up to it. Let's hope I'm better soon, or else I'll be celebrating Krissy and Carmen at once! I had an MD appt today, and they drew blood. Tomorrow AM I go in for testing, and I have a follow up appt on Thursday, so hopefully we can get to the bottom of this soon!

XO

Buh - Bye!!!!!!!

So long....I hate to see you go.........

As if!

Today, I am finally rid of Krissy!!! That's 115 lbs gone forever!

(I will post pics soon!)

.1

That's how far I was away from losing Krissy this AM. .1 lousy lb. I probably weighed myself 15 times hoping the result would change, but it just kept going up. I'm all set with that!

I was glad to see my bloat was gone, and I'm hoping Krissy will be gone by tomorrow! That would be a nice little surprise!

I just scheduled my next fill yesterday for May 13th. I didn't feel any difference from this last fill at all. In fact, I think they spilled something out because I've had more of an appetite! Well, that could also be a result of me losing weight.

This is how it works: They fill the band around the top of my stomach with saline, which dims my appetite. The more weight I lose, the loser the band gets around my stomach because there is less fat to contend with. Does that make sense? So I can have good restriction, lose 15 lbs, and then have less restriction. That is the beauty of having an adjustable band, because when that happens, they can just give me another fill.

I've been averaging 700-800 calories/day the past two weeks. If I had more groceries, as I mentioned yesterday, I would do a better job of averaging 1000, but I'm not going to fill in calories with junk food just to average 1000.

Lately, I have been bad about dairy and fruits. I still do a good job of getting veggies in, but not as much as I would like to. I'm over the top with the protein - I only need 60-65 grams/day, but I often get 100 in.

I'm doing pretty well with fiber too. Dairy is always the worst because I'm lactose intolerant. Yogurt is fine, but I don't like it. However, if it's in the house, and I remember, I'll eat it. I do like cheese, but unless it's pretty low fat, it's too fatty to be worth it. Again, if I can just get to the grocery store (which I plan to do tonight), I will be just fine.

That's all folks!

:)

Grocery shopping

I had such a busy weekend between yard work, entertaining, visiting my grandmother, etc...I didn't have time to go shopping for the week. I'm scrambling to make healthy choices without many options in the house. Part of staying on the course for success is planning each day properly, both for working out, eating healthy, getting enough rest and making sure to take your vitamins!

I've continued to have a hard time with the beautiful weather confusing my routine, but after one week of letting myself enjoy the outdoors at the expense of my routine, I'm going to plan to take the necessary steps to stay on track. I'm not eating bad foods, but it's just easier to make the right choices when you have planned properly.

I didn't lose any more weight today, and I'm up a few lbs of water weight. Since I didn't have the best options available for food, I made selections that were higher in sodium than I normally eat. I was within my calories, but I didn't feel great about my food choices. Today, I have a salt hangover. Does anyone else get those? When you have too much salt one day, and the next day, you're thirsty, with a funny taste in your mouth, and your body just doesn't feel at it's best? Is that me?

Anyway, I hope to flush out any extra sodium with lots of water and a good workout at the gym tonight.

It's time...

I was trying to go as long as possible without buying clothes because it's such a waste, but I need to break down and get a few things... I was doing well with the pants I had been borrowing from D, but now those are starting to fall off as well. The pair I put on today were tight when I first started wearing them (not long ago), and now I'm surprised if I'll make it through the day without them falling down!

The pair I had on yesterday are about a few lbs away from being in the same spot. I have those suits from Steph, but I'm about 10-15 lbs away from wearing those comfortably. I don't want to look like a fat guy in a little coat:

I know that 10-15 lbs isn't that far away, but it is probably 4-6 weeks away, and I need to do something sooner than that...especially with my jackets looking ridiculous on me. TJ gave me a GC to Macy's that I've been hanging onto, and my parents sent me money when I lost 100 lbs, so I'm going to pick up a few things this weekend that will hopefully hold me over for a little bit.

My clothes are swallowing me

I don't know if it's clear enough from this camera phone image, but my jacket is over the top huge on me now. I really can't get away with wearing this (or most of my other jackets) any longer. Plus, wearing clothes that are too big for me makes me look bigger than I am. That's not what we're aiming for here, folks!

1 more lb 'til I lose Krissy!

Yesterday I was down one lb and today I was down 2 more for a total of 114 lbs lost. Not bad. My target date for losing Krissy was April/May, so that worked out well. It's looking like April!

It's funny how some weeks I lose nothing, and others I lose 5-6. I guess that's why we go on averages.

So, one more lb until I lose Krissy, and the next stop will be CARMEN!

Meet Carmen:

She's the blond. That strapping young lad next to her is her husband Brett. I haven't had the pleasure of meeting him yet, but I'm sure if he's anything like Carmen, he's wonderful.

At last report, Carmen weighed in at a delightful 135 lbs. I have 21 more lbs to lose until I lose her, and my goal date is July of 2008. July is 11-15 weeks away. I average about 2 lbs loss/week. In fact, in the last four weeks I only lost 9 lbs, but the four weeks prior to that it was 12...you know, averages... ;-)

If I keep losing at this pace, I will lose Carmen on July 2nd. Let's see if I'm right!

I'm a loser, baby

At last! The scale moved. I hadn't lost anything all week, and then today I was down 3 lbs. I know I've been bloated...I seem to get bloated very easily, and this week, by the nature of the foods I made, I ended up having more potatoes than normal (normal = none, they aren't great for you!), and they ALWAYS make me bloated.

First there was Darcy's bday dinner, where I made very low fat mashed potatoes, and then there was the low fat potato salad I made for our BBQ on Thursday. In both instances, I only ate it because I hate to waste food. I KNOW I must get over that, but I'm clearly a work in progress.

Now my total is 111 lbs - 4 lbs away from losing my neighbor Krissy! What a bash that will be!

Real Age

I just took the Real Age test online to see how healthy living has changed my Real Age. If you aren't familiar with the site, I encourage you to check it out. You answer a series of questions about your health, the health of your family members, habits, etc...and it determines what your real age is with those factors considered. I completed the test twice: once with my former stats and lifestyle patterns, and a second one based on my current stats and lifestyle.

My biological age is 31.6
My current "real age" is 30.4 (a difference of -1.2)
My "real age" before I started losing weight and working out was 41.5 (a difference of +9.9)

In seven months, I have turned back my clock by over 10 years! No wonder I feel so energized! LOL

Time for new sneakers

I just bought this pair a few months ago, and I love them! They are sooo comfortable. I wore them doing yardwork the other night, and I got them dirty, which made me sad. Then I thought about how loose they were getting on me, and I thought - good! I will just use them for yard work, and I'll buy the exact same pair again, only a .5 size smaller. Win/win.

Speaking of yard work, I just found a cool calories spent calculator online, so I checked the difference in calories burned between yoga and raking the lawn, and they were the same! So, rather than leaving all my yard work for tomorrow, I will do at least an hour of raking this afternoon instead of the yoga.

And I don't need to worry about getting my sneakers dirty, because they already are! :)

Bad boy

I have been a bad boy this week.

Somehow, the sun is out and the days are warm, and my whole routine is out the window.

I'm not eating bad - I'm still eating as I should, but I haven't done a good job of getting to the gym as I normally do, and I haven't been good about taking my vitamins or iron either.

What happened? I was in a really good groove! This nice weather has caused me to lose my footing a bit, and I need to quickly correct this.

When I was getting back into the groove of working out, I started my phatbusters blog, and that helped me to track my progress, but also hold myself accountable for working out 5-6 times/week. I haven't done a good job of updating that for the past 2 weeks, but I'm going to start updating that daily again. Last week I worked out all the days I planned to, but not this week.

Sunday - skipped
Monday - went
Tuesday - skipped, but did 2 hrs of yard work
Wednesday - went
Thursday - skipped
Friday - I will work out today, maybe not at the gym unless I get my car fixed soon enough, but I will work out
Saturday (tomorrow) - I will definitely go to the gym, and I'm doing yard work all day, so that will be great exercise

I know I mentioned earlier this week that I need to start going to the gym in the AM, and that is a fact. I have been without a car since Wednesday, so it hasn't been possible or I would have. Wednesday I did go in the AM. My car is getting fixed today, so then I will be free to roam about.

It's going to be hard to make it to the gym in the AM tomorrow because we have a 9AM milfoil meeting at the High School, and we're going to breakfast prior to that. I suppose I could go at 7 (when the gym opens) and get it done then. That's probably the best plan because once the meeting is over, I'll be very anxious to start getting yard work done!

I'll get into the groove again. I think it was just a combination of the beautiful weather and lack of a vehicle that got me off the gym track. I guess, technically, if you count the 2 hrs of yardwork I did the other night, as long as I work out today and tomorrow, I will hit my minimum of 5 workouts/week. Good - that makes me feel better.

I don't know why I've been bad about my vitamins and iron, but I'm going to fix that by taking them right now!

What is the opposite of an NSV?

Dear readers,

As a reminder, an NSV (Non scale victory) is something that happens that is a sign that you've lost weight, other than the number on the scale moving down. For example: you can tie your shoes without trouble or walk a few miles...

Last night, I was trying to determine what the opposite of an NSV was, because I experienced that. A brutal reminder that I am still very pleasingly plump, and I have a long way to go.

Krissy and Lanie and I decided to go out, and we were taking Bruno's truck. I thought I would be chivalrous and get in the back of the cab, so I opened the door, and I had to squeeze myself in. I was probably one burger away from not even making it in at all.

I couldn't believe it. Normally, I discover all these things I can do now - not things I CAN'T do! I texted Alison about my tragedy, and she tried to put her sally sunniest spin on it by telling me that last year I wouldn't have made it in at all...little did she know, last WEEK I probably wouldn't have made it in at all.

So I didn't mention this to Lanie or Krissy, but when we were getting out of the truck, Krissy hopped out, and opened the rear door of the cab to let me out.

There was a door???!!!! LOL

Oooooooooooh. It's a suicide door. You can't see it or open it from the outside, so I didn't realize it was there, so I actually climbed into the truck without even opening the door!

I AM skinny. hahahaha

It was very funny.

Do you see a door? Can you blame me? LOL

PS - That's not actually Bruno's truck, but you get the idea...

The secret to success

Smile, baby!

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Jessie Ahroni is the author of a book on the Lap Band, "Laparoscopic Adjustable Gastric Banding: Achieving Permanent Weight Loss with Minimally Invasive Surgery," and she's also an active participant in one of the many Yahoo! bandster groups I'm a member of. She's an NP, and she works with lap band patients. She was banded 10 years ago, and she's had great success. She's also worked with thousands of patients, so she has seen many people succeed and many others fail. She recently posted the following:

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"People who approach this [journey] with a smile on their face determined to succeed usually do so and they have a pleasant journey. If you're kicking and screaming all the way you won't enjoy the journey and you're less likely to get to goal."

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I think this is true of any positive transition we try to make in our lives, which is why we must truly be ready to make positive changes in order for them to last. If we are just trying because we know we should, but we don't really want to, we will not succeed.

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There are many different recipes for success, but great success must start with the right attitude. For me, my weight loss success has been the result of a great amount of planning and focus, and rearrangement of priorities, but the key factor has been my attitude. I was so very ready to start living healthy, and that energy propelled the other areas into place.

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So how do we get there? Many of us have to hit rock bottom first. It's not enough that we aren't healthy, and that it's hard to find clothes that fit...we have to have something (or a series of somethings) so horrible that we are forced to say enough is clearly enough. To make a drastic life change, the habit must no longer be worth the consequences...for some that's food or eating disorders, others it's smoking or substance abuse...

So what about the person who needs to get healthy, but who hasn't hit rock bottom. Is there any hope for them? Of course. People who haven't hit rock bottom are lucky! It will be easier for them to get back on track, because they never strayed as far off as those of us who have hit the bottom. The challenge will be to have the right attitude, and to identify whatever thought process will hardwire you for success.

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Every life can and should be lived to the fullest, and it all starts with your attitude.

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So....smile.... :)

Houston, we have a problem

The problem is this beautiful weather that we're having!

Why is that a problem you ask? Well, gentle reader, the problem is that when I get out of work, the LAST thing I want to do is shuffle off to a smelly old indoor gym. I would LOVE to do some outdoor exercise, but I need to keep up with my weight training so that my muscles continue to reshape this potato sack into a lean mean fat burning machine. (Isn't that a George Foreman grill?)

I must continue to go to the gym, even though I will incorporate outdoor activities into my routine as well. When the sun is shining, and the weather is nice, I'm just going to want to hop into my kayak (technically, my future kayak - I don't actually have one yet), or into my boat and just enjoy the water and the beauty that is living in a full time vacation home.

Every night, I'll want to grill out lean meats with fresh veggies, go for a swim, maybe have a fire...that is the life! At least, for me it is.

At no point in this fabulous existence is there any thought of forcing myself to be indoors any longer than I need to. SO, I need a new plan. No longer will I end my work day by going to the gym, no siree, I will START my day at the gym. There's no harm in that. I'll do weight training in the AM, and outdoor cardio when I get home.

I think that is a very good plan, and I only wish I had thought of it this morning. Hopefully, today will be my last sunny day indoor after work workout.

Can't wait....

This is a new one

I just ran into someone I've known for 3 years, and she didn't recognize me. I said hi to her, and she was looking at me bewildered, not knowing who I was, and then finally it clicked. She said, "Oh Kristen, I haven't seen you in so long!"

That, however, is not the case.

I see her just about once/month.

This is extra amusing because people ALWAYS remember me. Hello - I stand out. I'm an obese woman with a fauxhawk.

Mom, this is a fauxhawk (AKA fake mohawk):

I know that lately I'm looking much smaller, and that people are noticing like crazy, and I've heard of people losing weight and people not recognizing them, but you would think that would happen a bit closer to goal!

I still have the same face, and it's still round. I guess if you're just glancing quickly from the neck down, you truly wouldn't recognize me.

Funny...

Starvin' like Marvin

For some reason, I'm really hungry today.

I had half of my salad for breakfast. That didn't cut it, so I had a Fiber One bar, which is usually quite filling because of all the fiber in it. I was still hungry after that, so I just ate a little bit of the meat from my lunch.

Now I finally feel filled. Let's hope this lasts until lunch time.

I'm not usually very hungry, at least not when I'm eating regularly scheduled meals. Today is a hungry day, but I bet it will pass.

This morning I was back down to my lowest weight, so the water weight was gone. I was surprised since we ate dinner at 8:30 last night, so I bet if we'd eaten earlier, I would have been down today. We'll see if that's the case tomorrow.

I'm aching today! Yesterday, I started to do a spring cleaning: I swept every corner of the house, washed the walls, mopped the floors, vacuumed, dusted, did two loads of dishes, cleaned the downstairs bathroom, started to clean up the disaster that is my yard, took the rugs outside to beat the dust out of them, etc... My body is sore, and I'm kind of disappointed about that.

Usually when I do a lot of hard work, I'm surprised at how little of an impact it has on me, but apparently, I still have a ways to go. Actually, I think it's because so many of the things I did yesterday required me to hunch over, that it was a strain on my back.

Darcy had a really nice birthday. The neighbors all came over, and we spent time outside, by the water. It's so nice to be outside again!

***Sending good thoughts to TJ who is trying to quit smoking again!!***

The right to choose

Yesterday when we got home from the beach, Darcy wanted to order Chicken Parm from a local delivery place. I always order a grilled chicken salad from there, but I just wasn't in the mood for that yesterday. I wanted something really good.

I looked at the menu and asked myself, if I didn't care about my health or losing weight, what would I order right now? I chose the pastrami sub with cheese and mayo. Then I asked myself, what is a good compromise? So I ordered pastrami on rye, no mayo. I ate half the sandwich. It was good, it scratched the itch I had for something savory, and I was well within (200 below) my calories for the day.

I have been on too many diets and depended on perfection to see weight loss. Whenever I wasn't perfect, I fell off the wagon. If I really wanted something bad, I would go so far overboard that it was nearly impossible to get back to healthy eating. Now, if I have a real craving, I find a way to responsibly make it work. That's the only way I can have a shot with this long term.

Ice out!

Today we're calling Ice Out on the Piscataquog...at least that's what Billy told me yesterday. Considering he's been here for 51 years, I think he has it on good authority. :)

Ice out is when all the ice has melted and you can get your boat into each area of the water, unobstructed. When we left on Friday, our cove was still frozen over and when we came back yesterday, the ice was all gone! What a nice surprise!

It's time for me to buy a kayak!

We had a great weekend in Salisbury. I still can't get over the difference I feel when I'm out and about. Saturday night, Steph dropped us all off down town without a car. Alison realized she didn't have her purse on her, so I offered to run back to the house to get it. It's not that far, but it's about 2/3rds - 3/4ths of a mile from where we were. I literally jogged back to the house to get it, without thinking twice.

Who am I? I'm not sure, but I like it!

Sunday, we were cleaning the house, and Alison said to me: "I love this new skinny Kristen - you just buzz around the house cleaning lickety split like it's nothing!"

I love this new Kristen too. I'm faaaaar from skinny, but I can't imagine how much energy I'll have when I'm at my goal weight if I'm this energetic now. I know I've said that before, but I just keep surprising myself with my energy level.

Today I was up a few lbs, as I always am when I'm not the one cooking my food for several meals in a row. I think I'm bloated. I don't think I actually gained weight.

Today is Darcy's birthday - Happy Birthday, Darce!

She has asked me to cook roast beef with gravy, mashed potatoes, corn and rolls for dinner. I think it will be yummy. I'm making the potatoes with Smart Balance light and fat free milk, and I bought a jar of fat free gravy, rather than using all the fat drippings from the roast. I'm going to sautee onions and mushrooms and add them to the gravy to give it more flavor.

She won't know that I've made the meal low fat. It will be our little secret. Shhhhh!

Ice out means the summer is very close by. I can't wait. Last summer was a blast, and I can't imagine how much better this one will be now that I've left nearly 110 lbs behind (and hopefully 130 by the time it actually is summer!).

Enjoy the sunny day.

All gyms are not created equal

That is the slogan of Planet Fitness. I would argue that not all Planet Fitness's are created equal. Manchester West, where I work out, is one of the better ones. There are plenty of machines to work your major muscle groups. I have also worked out in Danvers, which is comparable, and Woburn and Amesbury which are not. Woburn and Amesbury are kind of like Planet Fitness Lite. There's less of everything, and the machines are not as good.

Today I got up at 6AM and drove to Amesbury to work out, since I'm still in Salisbury. Unfortunately, it didn't open until 7AM, so I drove around and down to Haverhill and back until 7AM. Not only do they have far fewer machines than Manchester West, but the machines are...strange, let's say. I usually do 110 on the seated leg curl, for example, but on the machines today, I was doing 150, and it was easier than 110 is for me usually.

I have experienced a similar phenomenon when I use the machines in the 30 minute workout section of Planet Fitness. The machines just don't give you the same workout. They must be cheaper or something...it's very strange.

ANYWAY

I got my work out in, did some errands, took the Darce to breakfast, went antiquing, went to the beach and then met up with Ali for lunch at Browns. We're having a nice time enjoying the fresh air!

XO

Mobility

I arrived at the beach today at 2pm, and I found a cafe with wifi to work from. There is wifi at the house we're staying at as well, but that's not as much fun. :)

After driving from Methuen to Woburn (to pick up the keys) to Salisbury (not exactly a direct route), I didn't feel like driving back to Amesbury to the gym. Instead, I changed into my work out clothes and went for a 3 mile walk/jog by the beach. It was wonderful!

I have been to this beach so many times, but due to my back pain, I never wanted to walk near the beach much. I would go look at it, and then move on. It was so nice to spend nearly an hour in the fresh air, getting my exercise! I cannot wait for the summer, when kayaking, tennis and biking will be part of my cardio routine!

Someone at work told me I look different today. I told her that's probably because I've lost a lot of weight. She asked me how much, so I told her. She couldn't believe it. She said I must feel like a new person. I told her how I had reprioritized my life to put health first, and she knows what a change that must have been for me.

I'm not a new person, per se, but I'm certainly getting more out of life. I've always had a full life. I am the only person I know who truly lives each day as though it could possibly be my last. I have great relationships with the people in my life, I appreciate arts and beauty and music, I have lots of fun, and I like to give a lot too. I'm still that person, but in addition, I am living even more!

Although it would have been nice to be at this point a decade sooner, I'm glad I have the rest of my life to enjoy it!

Kristen.

Beachbound

The Darce's birthday is coming up on Monday, and we are headed to the beach for the weekend...good ol' Salisbury Beach... Alison's sister has been nice enough to loan us her beach house for the weekend. I think I reached the height of my optimism today as I packed stuff to swim in... We're expecting weather in the 40's, and it's early April...in New England!!!

This is downtown Salisbury...Christy's and Tripoli's and one of many arcades...It's like a permanent carnival moved into a town...or at least it was...

Salisbury is becoming yuppified now. It's much prettier, and it more and more resembles what I grew up knowing as a beach town. Sadly, I liked the way it was with all of it's cheesiness. If I want to visit a beautiful New England ocean town, I will go to the Cape or Maine. If I want silliness, I go to Salisbury. Where has the silliness gone? Money ruins everything.

I digress...

I'm not sure what I'll be eating while we're away. Tonight D wants to go out to eat at Hampton Beach. When she was growing up, her family vacationed there, so she misses it, even though it's very different now than it was when she was young.

I'd like to pick a place that overlooks the ocean. I miss the ocean! I'm sure if we go somewhere normal for dinner, I'll be able to find something healthy enough.

Tomorrow AM, I'm sure we'll go out for breakfast, and I'll get my "out for breakfast usual" of 2 eggs overeasy and one slice of dry rye (no butter). For lunch, we're going to Browns:

On their web site, they claim to be a truly unique place, and they are. It's one of those places you'd see on the food network because of it's character. Loud, messy, BYOB type of place (get the picture?)...but the food is GOOD. (From what people tell me - I'm not a seafood person.) Naturally, I checked out their menu online, and there is absolutely NOTHING healthy on it. I have no idea what I'll eat there, but it will be fun. Okay, I just checked again. They have lobster salad. That's fine, but I don't like it. Can I please have a lobster salad, minus the lobster?

Even though it's going to rain, we'll be hanging out downtown all day, and I know that the girls will want beach food for dinner: especially that beach pizza that Salisbury is famous for. Again, downtown, there is nothing healthy to eat - at all. I will probably have a slice or two of the pizza. I'll live. ;-)

I think the closest Planet Fitness is in Amesbury, so tomorrow AM when the Darce is sleeping, I'm going to get my work out in. I'm also hoping the rain won't be constant, because I'd like to go for a nice long walk on the beach. Fresh air, good exercise...sounds fun to me!

That's it for now!

KC

Nine Months

As I've mentioned before, I'm planning to compile my experience into a lap band users guide when I finally hit goal. As part of the research for my book, I purchased all four existing books on the lap band recently. I've read two of them, and I'm reading the final two now. These are all largely clinical books, and they are very helpful to the potential bandster. My book is going to be different, in that it will focus more on living with the band, and hopefully, it will be a little funny too. I'd like to write a book that can help anyone trying to lose weight, but specifically, those who are contemplating or have had the lap band.

One of the books I'm reading now is called _Weight Loss Surgery with the Adjustable Gastric Band_, by Dr. Robert Sewell and Linda Rohrbough. There is a section in this book authored by G. Dick Miller, a psychologist who has worked extensively with obese patients. Miller says: "People need about nine months for their new thinking to take hold and their body chemistry to change."

The problem people have when they become really overweight is that their metabolism is practically useless at this point. Even if they drastically change their eating habits, they won't have the same results of a smaller person because they don't have their body chemistry on their side. If it takes nine months for your body chemistry to change and for your metabolism to catch up with your healthy eating habits, I can see why most diets fail!

Who is going to have the patience to wait nine months? Not many people. It is good to know, though. I've always heard that it takes 1-2 months to make or break a habit. Apparently, at least according to this source, that is not the case with trying to make new habits after decades of poor eating choices.

One of the reasons the lap band is so effective is because it helps take some of the challenges off the table - mainly immense hunger, so it's easier to get the other pieces in order, such as mindless eating, emotional eating, making healthy choices, etc...

I feel as though I'm in a good groove, but I'm excited to know that in just a few more months, these changes will be even more solidified, and my body chemistry is going to get even better!

************

Today I'm down another lb for a total of 108. I can't go anywhere now without people noticing. It's affirming, but it's weird to get used to. I lost so much without anyone saying anything at all, and now it's almost constant. I guess the weird part is when a colleague yells down the hallway to me: "Hey skinny! Where'd Kristen Go? Where'd she go?!" I don't have that kind of relationships with my colleagues at work, so it's just odd to get used to that kind of behavior. I have no problem with it at all - it's just an adjustment.

People really do like you better when you're thinner. People have always liked me, but since my weight loss is more noticeable (and maybe this is all in my head), it seems like people are even warmer to me than they were before. I've heard of this happening to other WLS patients, so maybe I'm projecting, but I don't think that's the case.

Maybe I'm warmer because I like me more, and that makes people warmer to me. Either way, it's really interesting to see. (PS - Who would have thought I could have possibly liked myself more?! LOL)

*************

Update on my back - I took the day off from the gym. As I said to TJ, I'd rather miss one day healing than one month because I caused a real injury. Today my back is sore, but it's much better. I think I'll be fine to work out, but I'll take it easy, and I'll stop if I have signs of pain that's not the good pain.

Be good to yourselves today!!

Another business lunch today...

I'm meeting an ad rep at the Stockyard in Brighton. I checked out their menu online, and they do not have many healthy choices at all. All of their salads are fattening. I'm going to have to order a really scaled down version of one. I hate to be high maintenance, but I hate being fat more. :) They have turkey tips as well, so I may get those with veggies on the side. I guess I'll decide when I get there. I'm just lucky most restaurants have their menus online so that I can plan ahead when I'm eating out.

Why aren't there more healthy choices out there?

Do you want cheese with that whine?

:)

My allergies are driving me crazy, and I hurt my back at the gym yesterday. Darcy is home sick, and I'm just praying and crossing fingers and toes that I won't catch it!

I'm not down any more weight, but I'd like to be. I'm doing much better at getting my calories in. Monday I was at 1000, and yesterday I was at 850. Now I feel like I'm not losing weight because I'm eating more. When I was eating less I felt like I wasn't losing weight because I was eating too little.

I should try eating 1500 calories one day, and then 800 for the rest of the week. I always did that when I was on weight watchers (only it was more like 4000 one day and 1600 the rest of the week) and it really worked to jump start my metabolism. Perhaps it was in my head, but it did seem to work.

The problem is: when I was on weight watchers, I didn't mind having a gross fat fest on my high calorie day, and now I'm just not inclined to eat gross fatty foods. I'm going to think about this though. I do realize I have no reason to complain - I just lost 2 lbs on Monday, and I'm supposed to be averaging 1-2 lbs/week, so I've already hit it for this week.

I think I was hoping when I saw the 2 lb loss that I would have another really big loss week because of my two week plateau. Perhaps I just need to get over myself. (as if that's going to happen)

!

I have a past history of lower back injuries from 2 car accidents and a work injury, so I need to be careful since I strained it last night. I may take the day off from strength training to do something a bit softer at my house tonight. We shall see.

Okay, my blog was annoying and boring today. I apologize.

XO!!!

Can vs. Can't

Why do some of us like to spend so much energy trying to determine why we can't do something, rather than just finding an easy solution of why we can?

I see this phenomenon in the workplace often, but I also see it in healthy living journeys. I read many many weight loss blogs every day, some of friends, many of strangers...I like to see what challenges I can anticipate, what makes other people tick, pitfalls to avoid, etc... I see a can't theme emerging, and I do not think it is helpful.

I am a person who tends to look for reasons why I can do something, rather than why I can't. This was not always true of my healthy living (clearly), but in life, that is the way I am inclined. In fact, I'm glad I work with some of the can't people because they help to bring me out of the clouds when I'm ready to commit to something that is ridiculous.

I could come up with a thousand reasons why I can't follow the best practices of health within my lifestyle. You know how busy my schedule can be, you know that this has been a hard year for me since I have managed to catch every flu and pneumonia that passed by, etc..., but I have had to go to great lengths to find ways so that I can, rather than can't.

We all rationalize our behavior constantly. I'm the queen of rationalization. I could very easily rationalize why I can't do the things I need to, and it may be much easier than finding reasons I can. In the end, I'm only hurting myself, though, so that's not such a good idea.

My challenge for you, dear reader, is to listen to your inner voice, and the next time you quickly decide you can't - take a pause to consider how you actually can.

XO

My next two victims

This is getting to be FUN!

If you read the comments on my blog, you will see that I have two new volunteers to be lost by me!

They are sisters, so it's kind of like a two-fer.

Ladies - I'll need pictures! I can rip them off your blogs actually...

Carmen currently weighs 135 lbs. Kristina weighs 146. They are trying to lose baby weight, but let's hope that doesn't happen before I lose them, or it will be very confusing for me.

Order of women to lose:

That tiny gymist whose name is escaping me: 84 lbs - DONE
Krissy: 115 lbs - 8 lbs to go (Target loss date - Apr/May 08)
Carmen: 135 lbs - 28 lbs to go (Target loss date - July 08)
Kristina: 146 lbs - 39 lbs to go (Target loss date - August 08)

Cobabe girls - this gives you too much time to lose the weight you're trying to lose, so please be a dear and just put your diets on hold. You're beautiful already! Celebration for losing a double set of Cobabes? Trip to visit you in northern Cali!!!

Pictures to soon follow.

Mom - Cobabe is the maiden name of Carmen and Kristina. I'm not being fresh. :)

My date with The Incredible Hulk

...So after I wrote my blog yesterday, I got to thinking about how fun it would be to have the Hulk as my personal trainer. I got in touch with his business manager, and I got the skinny on the sessions: $300 for the first one, $125 after that. Oddly, that's EXACTLY what I anticipated it would cost.

Lou Ferrigno is currently filming a movie for the next four months, but they schedule training sessions for him on his off days. He is based out of LA, so I just need to find a time to fly out to Cali --hopefully for a long weekend-- when he isn't filming. I got quotes on plane tickets yesterday, and I can fly out there for $200! What a deal.

Darcy is going to come along for the ride because how can you possibly miss something like this?!

Alison says that I have *finally* lost my mind, but people, you know me, this is precisely the kind of thing I am all about. It's spontaneous, fun and outrageous, like your darling KC.

I will keep you posted when we pick the date!

Body by KC

What a funny thought.

This weekend, I started my practice training programs with Alison and Darcy. Darcy was already in training before, but now it's official stuff. LOL

I have a few others in line that I'd like to start with this week. I think that's fun, and I'm so glad I'm surrounded by people who want to get healthy! That's awesome!

I don't know how, but the plateau has finally surrendered to my superior will and efforts. ;-) I'm down 2 lbs today to make a total of 107. Krissy will be lost in no time. (Again, new readers, please see previous blogs for losing Krissy references. I guess it would have been just as easy to type out the words: Krissy is my 115 lb neighbor, and in 8 lbs, I will lose her body weight. Who likes things easy, though?)

Food - I have not been so good with the food... I averaged 584 calories this past week. That's bad. I'm working out like Lou Ferrigno, and I'm not taking in enough to sustain that kind of work out. I know I have enough stored fat (HELLO!) to live and all, but I need good fuel. (On a site note, are you aware that Lou Ferrigno - the incredible hulk himself - is now a personal trainer? You can reach him at: Lou@LouFerrigno.com if you're interested. He may be a step up from Body by KC, but who knows...just a thought)

Anyway, to make a short story long, I'm going to try to eat more this week. I almost ate a mini bag of skittles from my easter basket to give myself a 60 calorie boost, but I decided against it. I don't want to get my calories from junk. If I want skittles as a treat, I'll have them...but not because I'm trying to get more calories in. That's silliness. I have to put some good consideration into my food plan for this week, and I'll post it all on lowphatcooking.blogspot.com as always.

Andria - we are on for 2011! I went to college with Andria (briefly. me, not her. she goes to school a lot. they even let her become a lawyer and stuff!) Anyway, Andria is a marathon runner, which is totally cool, and I told her I'd do Boston with her, providing it's not in the near future. She wants to do Boston in 2011, and I'm in! What a fantastic accomplishment that would be!

Kristina - of course I remember you! You're mini-Carmen! I can't read your blog because it's set to private, but I bet it's awesome, just like you! XO!!

It's a new week. I don't anticipate the craziness of last week, so that's a good thing. I need to register for classes, and just go to the gym and work and that's that!

Oh, and YES. I got my hair done. You'd love me. I should post a pic soon.

How can I forget! This weekend was awesome for me. I hadn't lost weight in 2 weeks, as you know, but everyone I saw kept telling me how small I looked. (Small for me, not for humans) It was awesome! My body was totally shrinking, even though the scale wasn't moving. Alison says I'm the smallest she's ever seen me, which can't be correct because I've weighed much less than I do now during the 11 years (gulp) that I've known her, but I guess that means things are tightening up! Yay!

Talk to you soon!

XO

Today is my day

I'm going to finally get caught up on lots of things I have fallen behind on this week...at least that's my plan!

I didn't get home from work until 8 last night, and then I worked out until 9 or so, watched an hour of TV and went to bed. I couldn't sleep because I had just worked out, but I was exhausted. That's always a fun feeling.

I felt like yesterday was the first day all week when I left work with less work than I had when I started the day. Granted, it was only slightly less, but we're moving in the right direction. Today I'm working from home, and I hope that will help me to have fewer distractions and unexpected visitors.

I started work this AM at 6:30, and I plan to take a break from work after I get some real food in me to go to the gym for an hour. Then I'll return, and I hope to finish out my day at 5pm. That is my goal. (A 9.5 hr work day - not bad!)

I have been working out and losing all this weight, yet I'm carrying around what appears to be a terrible toupee on my head. Why haven't I gotten my hair done yet? What is the point of all this work if I'm going to look ridiculous. I'd really like to get it cut this evening, so I'm going to see if I can make that happen.

It's also time to buy a new pair of jeans, one size smaller, and 7 sizes smaller than where I started. Yes, Dad, I'm going to be in your size. LOL! Actually, I know they will probably be too tight when I get them, but within no time, they will fit.

So that's that - "my day" means ending work at a normal hour, getting my hair cut, and buying some jeans. Go me.

Enough with the plateau already

I'm still not down anything. It could be bloating from all that fiber yesterday, or it could be the fact that I continue to go up on the weights in my work out, while not eating enough food. My body may be trying to cling onto every calorie I take in, since I'm spending so much more than I'm consuming... I'm not sure.

I haven't seen the nutritionist since October or November, so I think it's time to make an appointment. I know I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing (except that I'm not eating enough), but it can't hurt to get a professional opinion either!

This is the longest plateau I've had since I've been eating healthy. I've also never exercised more and eaten less than I'm eating now, so something is up. I would probably be more worried about the number on the scale if it weren't for the fact that I'm seeing myself shrink in the mirror. Clothes are getting bigger still, even though that number isn't changing.

My stomach is starting to tighten up. I know that sounds silly because it's still a biggy, but trust me, it is. That is huge for me. My stomach and thighs are major trouble zones, and I'm working them hard at the gym! (more details on phatbusters)

Today is my last day of liquids. I'm supposed to be on liquids for breakfast and lunch, but I'm out of milk, and I felt sick all day yesterday from the Carnation Instant Breakfasts, so I'm just going to have low sodium v8 for breakfast, and I'll eat scrambled eggs for lunch. I know I'm not supposed to have mushies until dinner, but I just can't imagine that a few hours is going to make a difference.

Most MDs only require patients to be on liquids for one day after a fill, mushies for another and then back to solids. My MD is very cautious, which is a good thing, but I know I'll live starting mushies a few hours early.

That's it for now!

In case you were wondering...

Liquids are not overly filling.

So far today, I have had 3 carnation instant breakfasts (8 oz each), and one cup of reduced sodium tomato soup. I have had enough fiber to ignite a small fire, but that's another story.

Yesterday was so insanely busy, I only had time to eat one half cup of broth and one carnation instant breakfast...just over 200 calories.

I was down to my 105 loss this AM, but still no more than that. How much less can I eat? Joking - I know that 200 calories per day is far from ideal. That always ends up happening to me the first day after I'm filled.

Today I will end up at about 720 calories, 30 grams of fiber and 55 grams of protein...yet I'm much more hungry then when I eat 720 calories worth of real food. Liquid goes right through the band - that's the problem. It bypasses my wonderful tiny little pouch and dumps right into the vast black hole that is my stomach...not very helpful, as you can imagine!

As of tomorrow night, I'm in mushville again. Eggs, eggs and eggs will probably be my menu, and by Sunday night, I'm back on big boy food. I wish today was Sunday because it's BEAUTIFUL out, and I want to have a cook out tonight. I'm loving these long days of spring!!

Technically, that wouldn't work, as it's nearly 5:30 PM, and I'm still at work with no hope of leaving anytime soon. My chair and desk set up is really bothering my back and arms, so I may have to finish up from home. That will be hard, though, because I really want to get my work out out of the way, and if I go home now, I'll do that, and then I'll get back to the house at 7:00 or 7:30 and I'll have to finish work then.

If my life doesn't sound fun to you, I apologize. I really do enjoy myself. Reading my daily schedule makes me sound like a very boring regimented person, but I assure you, I'm fulfilled, and I have fun whatever I do...except when things at work are really bad... My weekends are filled with friends and fun and good foods and sunshine and laughter. I should make my weekdays weekends too. !

Happy 6 month Bandiversary to me!

What'd you get me?

I got myself a half birthday cake:

JUST KIDDING!

I got myself a 105 lb weight loss instead!

What a difference six months makes. I feel like a different person. I am a different person. Well, I'm still me, just better and healthier. I've upgraded.

As I noted on Kitty's blog recently, before I started healthy living, I had my priorities confused. I was very focused on becoming a CEO as soon as possible, which meant working unhealthy hours (oven 70-80/week), while attending school, and just vegging out in the rare free time I had because I was so exhausted, and carrying around all that extra weight wasn't helping!

I ate poorly because I was always so busy, and I would constantly eat at McDonald's because I was on the go, and it was easy to eat that food while driving. On an especially bad day (and there were many of those) when I had to eat McDonald's for breakfast and lunch and had, say, Pizza Hut for dinner, I would consume nearly 4200 calories and 214 grams of fat. I'm sure I averaged in the mid 3000's each day.

You don't get as big as I was by eating salads every day! :0)

The track I was on may have lead me into a CEO position sooner rather than later, but I also probably would have been dead at 40. That's not the right way to do things. Life is not a race, and if you run it, you'll miss all the good parts. I was so concerned with achieving specific goals by specific ages that I missed out on parts of my youth/young adulthood. Thankfully, I made these changes at 30, and hopefully I still have many years ahead of me to live.

I am still very much focused on my work, but I try to work more of a normal work week. I've had to scale back on my hours in order to fit the gym in, as well as eating dinner at a normal hour. I'm also now more focused on interest in a possible COO role, because I love operations, and I feel like I can be accomplished but still have a life if I'm not in the #1 hot seat. I know these goals may seem lofty, but if you shoot for nothing, that's exactly what you'll hit.

As I continue to make healthy changes in my life, I may decide I want a different career totally, and that's okay too. Health and happiness are my goals now. Last year, they were money and success. I'm not sure when I changed from wanting to save the world to wanting to make lots of money and have lots of things, but I'm morphing into a healthy combination of both of those people.

I can't live on dreams and hopes, but I can't live for the things either.

I have read that weight loss surgery is considered successful if you lose 50% of the extra weight you have to lose. I have already done that, but I'm not stopping here! I was thinking about that, however, earlier this week, and if I had been told I would only lose 50% of the weight I had to lose, I still would have had the lap band in a heart beat.

I know as I lose more weight, my life is going to change in more and more positive ways, but I have already experienced SO many positives, it's hard to believe that it's going to be even better! I can't believe how many things I held back from doing because of my size. I just got used to it, but now that I don't feel held back, I want to do everything!

...talk about a new lease on life...

Thank you for joining me on this journey!!

KC

Oh yeah...

I was down one or two more lbs today. It's hard to say because I weighed myself a few hours before I normally do, and yes, it makes a difference for whatever reason. I'm still one or two lbs above my lowest, but I will keep you posted. I usually lose weight when I'm on liquids. We'll see if that happens this time!

I have a business lunch today. Let's hope they have soup! (Obv, being the person I am, I've already checked their web site, and they do. Nothing I like, but who cares.)

Got fill?

Yup.

I went to the MD last night, and I told him that I was finally feeling restriction, and I wasn't really that hungry between meals, and he said - wait until you see what four fills is like! LOL

I think it's fine. I'm on liquids, but I'm not having trouble getting them down. This may be the right amount of restriction for me...at least for quite some time, but we shall see. I will know more when I'm on solid foods.

My MD wants me to speak at an upcoming lap band support group about the benefits of exercise, and how I've been able to fit it into my routine, so I think that sounds like a neat opportunity.

I worked out last night for 45 minutes. I didn't do the full upper body work out I normally do because my port site was a bit sore from the fill, and I didn't have my full strength from being on liquids.

Today is going to be a busy day. I got up at 4:30, and I made it to Boston for 6:15. I will be here until at least 5PM tonight, and we're supposed to meet up with the girls for 7. Considering it will take me 1.5 - 2 hrs to get home, I'm not sure if I'll have a chance to work out today. I can still get my minimum of 5 days in for my workout, but I really prefer to do 6.

I will live.

Focus on the Positive

I just went through my records, and I'm down 20 lbs since I had my last fill 6 weeks ago. Unfortunately, as of today, that 20 is technically 17, but that's still about 3 lbs lost each week.

For some reason, today is a hungry day for me. I had a 100 calorie meal replacement bar, and a 1/3 of a banana (that was gross, so I threw the rest out), and I'm feeling hungry. Maybe I do need a fill after all.

Yesterday was a very busy day. I had a lot of work to do. I worked until almost 8 - went to the gym for about 45-50 minutes, came home a little after 9, updated my fitness blog, watched a little tv and went to bed.

Today I have to leave work at 3:30 to get to my MD's office for 4PM, so hopefully my day will be less crazy than yesterday. The usual wait time is 2-3 hrs for the appointment, so I'll be done by 6 or 7, and then I'm heading up to Manchester to work out. I will grab a skim milk at the store on my way, to make a Carnation instant breakfast with for my dinner, since I'll be on liquids.

By the time I work out and get home, it will probably be 8:30 or 9. I need to go to bed early tonight, because I plan to be in Boston for 7AM tomorrow morning. The fun just keeps on going and going!

My office is infested with lady bugs, and one just fell out of my hair. Awesome!

Fill Day

Yesterday I was able to eat 950 calories, so that is a good thing. I really shouldn't be eating under 1000 calories per day, especially with my work out routine. I was down 2 lbs from the 5 I was up, but I'm still up 3 today. Hopefully if I can continue to eat the right amount, I will continue to lose. Being on liquids for the next two days, and mushies for three after that is not going to make that easy!

I think I will reduce the weights I'm training with while I have a reduced calorie content. I'll have to see how I feel when I work out. I keep adding more and more weights to my work out, and it's getting easier and easier to do so. I can see my body clearly shrinking, even though the numbers on the scale are disagreeing with me, but I'm okay with that.

I asked some experienced bandsters if I should get a fill and one (but she's actually a leading expert on fills, so I should probably listen to her) said no or a very small one, and another one said yes. I will talk to my MD. I can always get an unfill if I need to.

I have two guinea pigs lined up for fitness! Now I just need to get the certification, and then we can start! I think this will be FUN!