Reflections

I was talking about weight loss with someone I know, who at one point in time had lost 100 lbs, and she's kept it off for about a decade so far. She was sharing some of the profound changes she experienced during her weight loss journey, and it prompted me to think of changes/challenges that I've been experiencing so far, even though I'm still overweight.

She shared with me that people treated her differently, in the workplace and in social settings. She is brilliant and well accomplished, yet while she was overweight, people did not listen to her in meetings, and she was often looked over for promotions that she well deserved. As soon as she lost weight, that all changed. Suddenly, her voice was heard, she was respected and promoted over and over.

In her home life, women she knew who ignored her for years were suddenly inviting her to social events that she was never invited to in the past. She was the same person, only smaller and healthier. It was really troubling for her that the world was so clearly discriminating against her when she was overweight.

I've had a different journey, yet I've noticed my own changes. As I've mentioned before, some people I work with seem to be warmer to me now. I don't know if it's because I have let some walls down or if they can identify with me more now because I'm smaller than I was, but it's definitely different.

I think I'm more outgoing than I was before, and I didn't even realize that was possible. I've always been confident, but now, I have even more confidence. When I had a speaking engagement recently, I was not the slightest bit nervous, even though I wasn't sure of exactly what I was speaking about until I got there.

I don't think my weight held me back in my career, probably because of my confidence and the way I presented myself, but as I climb the career ladder, being healthy and looking good will only help me.

Darcy is having a hard time with all of this. She loved me just the way I was before I started losing weight, and I keep changing. She doesn't recognize me, and she misses the Kristen she knew for years before. Once she gets used to a version of a new me, I lose more weight and change again, and once again, she doesn't recognize the person in front of her.

The other day, she reached over to rub my arm, and she started crying because she said it felt like a completely different person, and it's a huge adjustment for her. Not only is my body changing, but my habits are changing too. The person who would talk her into lazy weekend days where we'd do nothing but watch 10 movies and order in 3 fattening meals to just veg out all day is gone. Now she's stuck with someone who is constantly dragging her outside to go hiking or biking or kayaking, etc...

It's not that she doesn't like doing those things, she does! I think part of her, however, feels like she has to do those things, or else I will find someone else to do those things with, and then it's even less time I spend with her. She's doing an awesome job of being active with me, and we're having a blast.

I know she'll get used to the new me, when I finally get there, but for now, it's hard for her, and she misses me.