Bad hair day

Seriously. It's offensive.

I've had a busy...well past few weeks with work, but especially the last two days. I have tomorrow and Monday as the rents are coming to town, and I had sooooo many things I needed to get done before leaving work today. Yesterday I worked until 10 at night (not counting a 1 hr sunset cruise at dinner that was fab!), and today I came in just after 7, thinking I would be here until 7 tonight.

I must be missing something, but I am *completely* caught up. I can't remember that last time I could say that. I have ZERO (count them) emails in my inbox, and I have crossed off every item on all of my many To Do lists.

Knowing I'd worked so late last night, and that today was going to be a long day, coupled with the fact that I had no in person meetings today, I decided to give myself a little treat and wear an outfit that's more casual than what I'd wear to work. It would probably classify as business casual plus, but I usually wear suits, or at least dress pants with a blazer/jacket. Today I have on dress pants with (gasp!) a button down oxford stlye shirt! I'm ca-razy.

I also rocked my fauxhawk a little more than usual. It seemed okay in the mirror this morning, but it has a-fallen, and I look BAD.

I blame the Darce. Remind me not to let someone who shops at Big Lots buy my hair care products, okay? I asked for the gel I usually buy, and she came back with this L'loreal hair glue, straight out of 1985. Seriously. I think it's from then!

Fun with Nutrition!

I just signed up for a shoulder season (between the spring and summer terms) class called Nutrition: Concepts and Controversies. I'm really excited for it! I'm not excited that it's the same amount of work in a normal 12 week class crammed into a 5 week term, but I need to press on through.

Normally, I would have no interest in such a class, but now I think I'm going to devour the information. I'm sure you'll be hearing a lot more about this one!

Goodbye Apple

Relax, Gweneth's Apple is fine.

I'm talking about my dear Granny. Granny Smith.

I read on one of my band boards last week that apples are not very band friendly. The skin gets caught. Today I forgot to bring my breakfast to work, and I was really hungry, so I saw a pair of apples next to the refrigerator, and being the subtle bloak that I am, I approached the pairs owner, and said, "So, I notice you have *two* apples!"

"Do you want one?" she laughed.

"Well were you planning on eating *two* apples today?" I inquired.

"No, I forgot I already had one here - have it!!"

I did.

[Disclaimer: For those of you reading my blog who do not know me (and God bless you for finding this somehow interesting - my own Mother reads this in place of taking her ambien), I must explain that I'm really not one of *those* people. I'm not a mooch. I don't like free things. I am not cheap. I don't usually approach my coworkers begging for food, the way my cat greets all of my guests. The apple asking incident was one that occurred with a dear friend of mine, who still somehow, finds me charming and amusing. This was all in good fun.]

I crunched into the apple, and the first bite went down. Silly bandsters...I thought to myself...

I took a second bite, and it felt a little weird. I ignored it.

Third time's a charm they say... by the third bite I was making my way to the bathroom to spit it up.

It's the skin. The rest is fine, but when on earth would I have time to skin an apple?! There are plenty of other fruits that I love. I'm sorry, dear apple, but you just don't have what it takes to be the next American Id... Oh, sorry, I dozed off.

Anyway, out with the apple, in with the watermelon! Welcome summer!!

Don't forget your vitamins!

Lately I have been baaaad about taking my vitamins. I'm not even sure what I'm supposed to be taking. I think it's time for me to meet with a nutritionist again. I was supposed to meet with mine once I had the surgery, but she was in a car accident, and so my appointment was to be rescheduled with the other nutritionist from the same office, but she never responded to my email, so I just gave up.

I figured I knew what to eat, so I was fine. I'm confused about vitamins, and I'm sure it's time to have a check in about my daily calorie/fat/fiber intake anyway. I just made an appointment, so Mom, no need to call me and tell me to when you read this tonight! :)

I *know* I need to take iron, but I haven't in weeks. I don't feel weak or lethargic, though, so I'm not feeling anemic, but I'm sure I should still be taking it, so I'll start that up again as well. I think I need one of those old lady Sunday - Saturday vitamin/pill boxes. That'll do the trick!

Is that really you?

Is that you?

Someone who I have worked with for about 3 and a half years, who I see just about every week, did not recognize me today. I just spent the entire day with him two weeks ago, so it's not like he hasn't seen me much.

I called down the hall to say hi to him, and he paused and then said hi. A few minutes later, I walked by his office, and he called me in to tell me that he had no idea who I was when he saw me earlier.

He had noticed I'd been losing weight, but he couldn't believe the difference today! (I once again had a suit on that fit me.) He asked me how much I'd lost total, and I told him 125, and he was shocked.

People I work with know me as a work horse, putting everything in my life behind work. My first few years here, I worked constantly and never took time for my health. I had to drastically change my lifestyle to put my health first, as I've shared before, and that is the message I tell everyone who wants to know how I did this, and that is what I shared with him.

Cupcake Island

Last year was our first summer on the Piscataquog, and our new friends told us of this great spot called Cupcake Island. The sand was really nice there, and the water really clear...boats would dock at the island all day long, and people would meet up at Cupcake Island for fun in the sun.

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I nearly died laughing the day they first brought me to Cupcake Island. Pictured above is Cupcake Island in it's better days, believe it or not! Now all you can see is that tree sticking out of a foot of water - no "island" visible at all! It still is some of the clearest water and nicest sand we have, but boy is it funny to call it an island!

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There are two origins of the name. One involves Jimmy and his friends out one night, driving by, and for some reason, one of his friends thought the island resembled a hostess cupcake...not sure why, but hence the name. This other origin comes from Brian, called Cuppy, short for cupcake by his partner Rhonda. Brian and his family have been on the Piscataquog for decades, and Brian says that Cupcake Island is named after him "Cuppy," because he's the king.

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I don't care what they call it - I'm going to rename it tooth pick island. ;-)

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We had a great Memorial Day weekend! Lots of BBQs and boating and FUN! All day Monday, we took the boat out to Cupcake Island, and we tied off to the tooth pick tree and swam and sunned until dinner time. Then we came back to our house, for yet another BBQ. Later, D and I went out for a sunset cruise - it's soooo beautiful out there when the sun is setting. It was a perfect day.

I haven't lost or gained anything since last week. I'm still at 125 lbs lost.

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I'm feeling much better today, and I'm looking forward to kayaking tonight when I get home...and then maybe another sunset cruise!

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Be good.

Tummy ache!

I woke up at 4AM with pretty severe abdominal pain. I thought it was food poisoning or a touch of the stomach flu, but as the hours wore on, I realized the pain was concentrated in one area, in my upper right abdomen. I suspected this is where my gallbladder would be located, and I checked online and confirmed it. Right now, it's emitting a lot of heat. I'm going to call my MD in a bit.

I read online that rapid weight loss can cause a gallbladder attack, as well as not taking in enough calories. I'm not sure if my weight loss classifies as rapid for this purpose, and I'm not sure if I'm taking in a low enough amount of calories to generate an attack, but I plan to ask my MD. Lately, I've been averaging about 650 calories per day. I really need to make an effort to get that number to 1000.

Reflections

I was talking about weight loss with someone I know, who at one point in time had lost 100 lbs, and she's kept it off for about a decade so far. She was sharing some of the profound changes she experienced during her weight loss journey, and it prompted me to think of changes/challenges that I've been experiencing so far, even though I'm still overweight.

She shared with me that people treated her differently, in the workplace and in social settings. She is brilliant and well accomplished, yet while she was overweight, people did not listen to her in meetings, and she was often looked over for promotions that she well deserved. As soon as she lost weight, that all changed. Suddenly, her voice was heard, she was respected and promoted over and over.

In her home life, women she knew who ignored her for years were suddenly inviting her to social events that she was never invited to in the past. She was the same person, only smaller and healthier. It was really troubling for her that the world was so clearly discriminating against her when she was overweight.

I've had a different journey, yet I've noticed my own changes. As I've mentioned before, some people I work with seem to be warmer to me now. I don't know if it's because I have let some walls down or if they can identify with me more now because I'm smaller than I was, but it's definitely different.

I think I'm more outgoing than I was before, and I didn't even realize that was possible. I've always been confident, but now, I have even more confidence. When I had a speaking engagement recently, I was not the slightest bit nervous, even though I wasn't sure of exactly what I was speaking about until I got there.

I don't think my weight held me back in my career, probably because of my confidence and the way I presented myself, but as I climb the career ladder, being healthy and looking good will only help me.

Darcy is having a hard time with all of this. She loved me just the way I was before I started losing weight, and I keep changing. She doesn't recognize me, and she misses the Kristen she knew for years before. Once she gets used to a version of a new me, I lose more weight and change again, and once again, she doesn't recognize the person in front of her.

The other day, she reached over to rub my arm, and she started crying because she said it felt like a completely different person, and it's a huge adjustment for her. Not only is my body changing, but my habits are changing too. The person who would talk her into lazy weekend days where we'd do nothing but watch 10 movies and order in 3 fattening meals to just veg out all day is gone. Now she's stuck with someone who is constantly dragging her outside to go hiking or biking or kayaking, etc...

It's not that she doesn't like doing those things, she does! I think part of her, however, feels like she has to do those things, or else I will find someone else to do those things with, and then it's even less time I spend with her. She's doing an awesome job of being active with me, and we're having a blast.

I know she'll get used to the new me, when I finally get there, but for now, it's hard for her, and she misses me.

Somebody call a Waaahmbulance!

My allergies have been terrible this week, and I'm pretty sure I'm PMSing because I've been unusually hungry on top of it. With the band, I usually only experience mild hunger, but when I start to PMS, everything changes! Band? What band? LOL. I still can only eat small amounts at a time, but I have such a strong appetite, it's hard to adjust to.

My PMS appetite makes me want to eat naughty things that I normally don't want. I don't like this PMS thing. I didn't notice it before - probably because I always ate whatever I wanted, and lots of it, but now that I'm a healthy eater with a healthy mindset, it's obvious and annoying.

That's enough whining for one day! Oh yeah, I'm down one more lb for a total of 125. 10 lbs until I lose Carmen!

Finally a suit that fits me!

This picture was taken at work today. We had a meeting with the entire HR team for the system, and I saw a lot of people I hadn't seen in ages. I got such positive feedback regarding my weight loss, that it was almost overwhelming.

Kristen, you are glowing!

Am I? Why, thank you!

I visited one of our hospitals today that I hadn't been to in a while. Everyone I saw commented on how much weight I lost and how great I looked. It was very nice! Mental note: visit them more often!

One of the members of my team couldn't get over how different I looked, and he said my whole persona has changed, and I appear to be glowing. Then he asked me if I was PREGNANT! First of all, someone trying to lose weight does not wish to appear pregnant. Second, he knows very well I would not be in a position to be pregnant, and what a joke that is knowing how un-maternal I am. Not to mention, boys are gross. ;) He was kidding, and I know he was saying it as a reference to the glow, not because I actually looked pregnant.

One of the reasons I got so many comments today was because I'm wearing an outfit that actually fits me. Well, D said the jacket is too big, but it's not drowning me like everything else. I can't wait to be at goal and be able to finally invest in clothes that look good on me. That will be nice!

Until then, I'm shopping at Walmart and any other cheap place to get me through. This past weekend I bought 3 shirts at LL Bean for $10! That's what I need - disposable clothing!

Truth be told

I did not end up going to the support group last night. I just had too much work to do, so I couldn't. My computer was having network issues, so I left work at 4:30 to work the rest of the day from home. I got home at 5, worked for another hour, took a break to climb Rock Rimmon, and went back to work until 8:30.

Rock Rimmon only took me 15 minutes total to climb up and down. It's getting to be way too easy for me, and I went up the harder way this time. I would have done it again, but my allergies were killing me and I needed to get back to work.

I didn't have anything to eat for breakfast today, and my commute was 2 hrs this morning, so I stopped along the way at McDonalds. There are no good breakfast options out there on the go. I'm so sick of breakfast bars. I ordered the breakfast burrito, not the old ones, but the newer bigger one.

I ripped off the top of it to get to the protein part, and it looked gross. I had one bite, and I threw it out. It was gross and too fattening. I was hoping they were offering it as a healthy alternative to their other items, but I was very wrong. I looked it up when I got to my office, and it has 610 calories. Nice way to start the day!

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Today they decided to order pizza for us at work, and they ordered salad for me and the other non-pizza eaters. Unfortunately, the salad didn't have any protein, but it's better than nothing. I do feel hungry, though. All I've had is one bite of a gross burrito and a small plate of lettuce and cucumbers.

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This afternoon, I'm going to tea at the Four Seasons. I never thought I would utter those words. ;-) I'll probably be stahvin by then, but I'm not sure if I can have anything they are serving: finger sandwiches, light-as-air pastries and freshly baked scones served with clotted cream and homemade preserves, the menu may feature afternoon tea with a new twist, such as poached quail eggs with truffle mayonnaise on white toast, smoked Scottish salmon on granary bread, or a Maldavian tuna chapatti.

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I need to get gas before I go, so hopefully I can find some type of healthy meal bar there.

Oh! I almost forgot. I'm down another 2 lbs today for a total of 124, 11 lbs away from losing Carmen!

Support Groups

We have our monthly lap band support group tonight. I didn't have it on my calendar, but I received an email reminder. To go or not to go... I spend a lot of time (probably too much time) participating in online support groups currently. I have learned a ton from these groups, and the members are encouraging and motivating.

Prior to surgery, the support group meetings were helpful. I learned something each time, even if it was just one or two things. After surgery, I didn't feel like I was learning much. Most of the questions were from pre-op patients, and they were the same questions, month after month. My MD started saying that unless you only wanted to lose 40-60 lbs, the lap band wasn't for you. That was frustrating for me to hear since I didn't believe it, and I'd already had the surgery with much more to lose than that, so I stopped going. I know he is a big proponent of gastric bypass over the band, but that doesn't mean I like to hear about it. :)

For the past few months, they have split up the pre-op group from the post-op group for the first part of the meeting, and I like that format better. I went to one of the meetings, and it was nice to be surrounded with people going through the same things I was going through. I was taken aback, however, at how gentle the advice was. I'm used to my online support groups that are full of tough love, and not too much tiptoeing around!

The cons of going tonight are: I have so much work to do, and I'll have to leave work earlier than planned, it will cut into my workout, I will have to find something to eat out which is never that fun/easy, I will have to drive close to Boston to get there and home to NH from there, which is not appealing with gas prices as they are and time as it is.

The pros of going are: I have made positive changes in my life, and I'm having great progress with the band, so I can probably help motivate people who are struggling. Also, I really like my MD, and I feel slightly guilty when I don't go. Who knows - I may even learn something!

I'm kind of leaning toward going, and I'm not sure why. I really wish I had planned ahead so that I could have had gym clothes and dinner with me. We shall see...

The bloat is back

I woke up this morning with my mouth feeling salty as I've described in the past. I don't know why - I didn't have anything too salty yesterday, that I can think of...I must have, though. I was up my usual 2 lbs of water weight, which is always fun. Today I'll be consuming as much water as possible, and consuming as little sodium as possible in an attempt to correct this!

Yesterday was a busy day for work, and I finished up around 7:30 last night, and then headed to the gym. I got home around 9, and we watched TV. For some reason, I had trouble falling asleep (often happens when I work out too late), so I woke up a bit tired today. I can't tell if I'm tired from having trouble sleeping or because of the allergies that are terrible right now.

Tonight after work I'm going hiking after work and possibly kayaking. Hopefully I'll have a good tale from the scale for y'all tomorrow!

KC

The kitty lap band

Do they make one? They should!

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My crazy cat has species identity disorder. He thinks he's a dog. When you walk into the house, he runs toward the door and slides on his back so you can pet his stomach. He also begs for food, and doesn't know when to stop eating.

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Come to think of it, did all those things prior to my banding. They say animals are like their owners!

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When we first moved into our NH home, we were still living in our MA home a day or two each week. We would leave him plenty of food to last him the entire time we were gone, but he'd eat it all the first day and then starve the rest of the time. He would eat himself sick. What kind of cat is he??!!

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We got him an automatic feeder, that releases food as scheduled, and this took care of the problem...at least for a while. About 2-3 hours before the food was scheduled to drop, he would start to stare intently at the bowl, 4 feet away from it. Every few minutes, he would convince himself that if he just walked away for one moment, the food would come, so he would take a lap around the kitchen island, and return to the bowl and stare. FOR 2-3 HOURS, TWICE A DAY!!

Crazy kitty.

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Finally, the dopey thing figured out how to reach his paw up the shoot to get food to come out - one piece at a time. He would sit there for hours, pawing at it to get just one piece out, and then starting over again. I taped the majority of the opening shut recently, so he could no longer get his paw up there, but alas, he learned a new trick. (This from a cat who can't figure out where he's supposed to go poo!)

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Now he has discovered that if he backs up and sprints toward the food, slamming it against the wall with his body, it causes a bunch of food to fall. We don't have a rug down there, so when he tries to run, his feet slide around on the floor, and then his claws scratch against the tile as he tries to gain control of his motion. We'll be upstairs watching TV, and we'll hear scramble, scratch THUD. And again...scramble, scratch, THUD!

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There is no point to having an automatic feeder if we have to hide it from our cat and take it out when it's time to eat. As of now, I am at a loss of what to do with him. I think the lap band his only hope!

Light done Right? Not quite!

Salad dressing is just one of those things that *they* can't get right making a lower fat version. I prefer the low fat version of most things, but salad dressing is just gross. I'm going to be honest here. Normally, I'm an advocate for lower fat/calorie items, but they just can't do light right. Kraft has the "light done right" salad dressings, and Wishbone as the "Just 2 good" ones. Sorry. Just 2 gross for me.

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I love salad. If I had to pick one meal I would have for the rest of my life (prepared differently of course), I would pick salad. I know it doesn't have a ton of nutritional value, but it's certainly not bad for me, and I enjoy it, so I eat it! Often. I usually have grilled chicken salad. The place I order from puts on way too much chicken, and not enough lettuce and cukes. I think next time I order I'll ask for half the chicken and double the veggies. I digress.

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I don't mind the salad dressing sprays. Those are great and very low cal. I'm all for those because even if you don't get the light ones, if you only use 30 sprays for one salad, it's only 30 calories. You can't go wrong. Every once in a while, though, I have a craving for ranch dressing, and I end up eating the full fat version. It's like 150 calories for one serving. What a waste, but I suppose if you're eating 400 calories per day, it's not that bad in the grand scheme of things. It's certainly a waste of calories, and I don't like to waste calories.

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This morning I had a grilled chicken salad for breakfast, and I used Ken's light Ranch. It was gross. I would have rather had the salad plain.

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Dear Salad Dressing Makers,

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Please work on this.

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My spare tire thanks you.

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Kristen.

It's the new Jan Brady!

I don't know where the old me went, but she appears to have left the building. I can't get enough of nature and outdoor activity lately. This weekend I thought about how cool it would be to have an outdoor job, but then I realized if I somehow found a job I could do outside, I probably wouldn't be able to afford to live in my own little outdoor paradise anymore, so that was a quick veto.

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This weekend was great! Saturday we climbed Rock Rimmon, and D made it up the rock part without using the trail! Then D bought a kayak, and we went kayaking up the river. It was so much fun. It's great when exercise is both good for cardio and relaxing at the same time! After that, we went on a boat ride, and I showed D how fast it goes when there's only 2 people in the boat!

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After that, I mowed the lawn, and then took over for Darcy who was weekwacking after, and I weedwacked the other half of the lawn. Last year, it hurt my back terribly to mow the lawn. I could only do half, and it was painful. This year, it's easy like Sunday morning. The difference is amazing. Last year, if I mowed the lawn, I would be junk for the rest of the day. This year, I mow the lawn after climbing a (small) mountain and kayaking! Wow! It really is the new Jan Brady!

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Yesterday I went biking in the morning, and I made it up a ridiculously steep hill by my house. After that we went to breakfast with Lanie and Casey, and then ran some errands. When we got home, we went kayaking, and had so much fun, again. Darcy's arms were throbbing terribly, but she didn't want to go home! It was cute. Then we went over to Lanie and Billy's for a cookout/Celtics game (Go Celts!!). As usual, they put out quite a spread. Billy said when he has grilled sausages, onions and peppers for a Celtics game 7, they have never lost, so naturally, he had to do his part. I brought chicken sausages and macaroni and cheese (not the healthy version). I used to LOVE that stuff last summer, and I didn't even try a bite yesterday. It didn't even occur to me to.

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Lately I've found that I have to remind myself to eat. I am often only eating 500 calories per day, and I know that's not good. Yesterday I had 428. The day before that I had 495. You would think with that few calories, as active as I been the weight should be falling off me, but that is not the case. I think I'm just way too low on the calories, but I will work on that.

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I'm down a lb today to make a total of 122, 13 lbs away from losing Carmen! This is the week when I lose weight, since last week wasn't. I hope I have another 5-7 lb loss this week. That would be fantastic!

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As usual, I will keep you posted.

Kristen, is that you?

Why yes!

I was walking down the hallway at work today, and someone I work with, who I don't see often, called after me, "Kristen, is that you?!" She said she couldn't believe how trim I was getting! I don't know that I would use the word "trim," but I'll take the compliment!

Thanks!

I'm a boating fool

As predicted, I failed to exercise yesterday due to the competition of my boat being in the water. My neighbor Jimmy was amazing, and got the boat all ready while I was at work. When I got home, we put it in the water, and I boated for about 5 or 6 hours! Thankfully, my boat gets great gas mileage!

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I haven't lost any weight all week, in what appears to be my new pattern of one week of a big loss (5-7 lbs) followed by another week of nothing. It's bothering me less and less, because now I anticipate it. I'm not eating as much as I should. I was averaging 750 - 850 calories per day, and this past week I've averaged 600. I've been busy and enjoying the outdoors, and I've skipped dinner a lot lately.

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I need to work on that! It's strange that I don't lose weight, being so active and eating so little, but hopefully next week will be another good losing week!

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When I get home from work I'm going to go kayaking before I go boating again, and I can't wait!!

Competition

The boards are up! That means, the water level is high enough to put my boat in now! Jimmy and I are getting new props today after work, and then we're putting our boats in the water. I absolutely cannot wait!

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This means my kayaking, hiking and cycling have some competition with my new (very used) boat for my attention/adoration. :)

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All day long at work yesterday I couldn't wait to get home to do something fun and active. By the time I got home at 7, I ate dinner first because I didn't want to eat too late, and then at 7:30, I was going to go kayaking, but D said it looked like it was going to rain, so we skipped it. It was probably a good thing because I think I pulled a muscle in my back when I was trying not to fall out of the kayak the other day.

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Today I may go to the gym to work out because if I'm home and outside and the boat is in the water for the first day of the season, I don't think I'll be able to keep myself out of it! What fun.

As usual, I'm not losing this week, because I lost 6 last week. I'll wait to lose next week.

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Shout out to Alison, who is doing a liquid diet this week to jump start her weight loss! I know how hard it is, but she's down 3 lbs in 3 days to make a total of 43 lbs lost! Way to go, Ali!!!

Rock Rimmon

As I mentioned to one of my online Yahoo groups the other day, I live in an outdoor enthusiast's paradise. I didn't even really realize it last year when we moved here. I mean, I noticed the water, of course. I had a BLAST swimming and boating, but there's so much more around me!

I bought a kayak yesterday, and last night, D and I went kayaking. It was so much fun! We have bike trails right across the street from us, and we have a mountain practically in our back yard. It is a very small mountain, Rock Rimmon, (450 ft), but a mountain nonetheless.

Yesterday I climbed it twice. Once with Darcy and a second time with Carolyn. By the time Carolyn and I went up, the sun was setting, and it was so pretty up there. Darcy and I mainly followed the trail, but Carolyn and I climbed right up the rock itself directly. That was FUN! I never dreamed I'd be scaling the side of a rock for amusement/exercise. I love it.

Here are some pics from the top of the summit:

I have a coat tied around my waist. It's not all pudge. ;-)

The top of the summit is cool. On one side, you can see almost all of Manchester, and on the other side, it's all mountains.

You couldn't tip it if you tried!

Lanie and Billy loaned me and D their kayak so we could try it out before buying one. Lanie warned us that it's very tippy and wobbley feeling, so be careful. The other night, we had two experienced kayakers over, and they told us not to worry - you couldn't tip it if you tried - especially on flat water. Okay, cool.

Yesterday I went out in their kayak, and it did feel tippy, but I got the hang of it quickly, and I was fine. I was trying to convince D to give it a try, but she was afraid because it was tippy. I remembered the advice from our friends the other night, so to prove the point, I started rocking the kayak from side to side, yelling to shore, "You can't tip it if you tri----"

Famous last words.

Before I got the word "tried" out, I had managed to dump myself into a big sea of milfoil (an exotic plant species that is overtaking our waterbody, but don't worry, I'm on it), fully clothed, jeans, hat, shoes and all! It was hilarious, and I was trying to laugh, but I took in some water into my mouth, and I think my body was shocked from the cold water, so I couldn't get any words out.

Poor Darcy went from laughing hysterically to worrying for my life because I couldn't speak, and she couldn't see me behind the kayak. It was hilarious, but YES, you can certainly tip it if you try.

Active Day!

D and I bought mountain bikes today! Cheap ones because we are both beginners, but bikes nonetheless! We did about 3 miles today, which isn't a big deal, but it was a great start! It was sooo much fun. We are so lucky to live on the water, and we can ride our bikes along the waterfront. What an exhilarating experience. It's VERY hilly near us, so going up is tough, but down is FUN!!! I probably haven't ridden a bike in 15 or 18 years, and I didn't realize how much I missed it!

After our bike ride, we played tennis and basketball in a nearby park. We went to the driving range too, but it was closed. :(

We had a blast outside, but my bum is sore from the bike! Hopefully, I'll get used to that soon! Lanie says I need a girl seat, and that will be better, so I'll look into that soon.

I love the nice weather!!!

(D is sore and not loving me so much right now for putting her through this. Hopefully the Ben and Jerry's ice cream I bought her will make her sweet for me again. ) ;-)

I'm sorry, was there something wrong with your Omelet?

Darcy and I went out for breakfast today, and I decided to change things up, so I ordered an omelet. Naturally, I couldn't eat much of it, but I had about 1/4 of it...maybe a little less. I always hide my wasted food under a napkin so that the waitress doesn't think I'm not happy with my meal, or even worse - a closet eater (LOL), and I did the same today.

When she brought the bill over, she said "I'm sorry! Was there something wrong with your omelet? You didn't eat any of it." I told her I actually did eat some of it, but it was really big, and I couldn't eat all of it because I can't eat much. I almost told her that I had surgery, but I decided against boring her with my life story.

I can't get over restaurant portions, though. They are ridiculous! I really wish places served half portions, but alas, that is rare. For now, I'll continue to hide my leftovers under my napkin, hoping that the waitress doesn't peak before tossing it out!

The Pre-fill dilemma

I have a fill tomorrow, which means liquids for 3 days, mushies for 2 after that. Boooooring. I would like to have something a little bit delicious today since I'll be on boring stuff for the next five days, but I don't want to jeopardize my weigh in tomorrow. I was hoping to be down 120 lbs, and I'm down 121. I'm pleased with my progress, and I don't want to ruin it.

I know I shouldn't think this way - like I have to get in something good before this boringness, but I do. I really do eat to fuel my body, but I try to enjoy eating still. Why wouldn't I? So yes, I do still enjoy eating, and usually I like to enjoy things that are very healthy. From time to time, though, I want to enjoy something that's not healthy. I think that's okay, as long as it's in moderation, and if it makes me feel like junk the way the popcorn did, I don't want it anymore. Even better.

I'm sure I'll come up with some way to have a yummy meal today that's not bad for me. Perhaps sushi!

The Great Estimator

D and I were driving home from breakfast yesterday, and I drove her by a nearby park with tennis courts and a basketball court. I said it would be fun to walk there from the house and play a game of tennis or basketball. D said, "Walk here?! Are you kidding me??!!" I didn't understand what the big deal was. I said it's probably about 1.2 miles from our house. I set my tripometer, and sure enough, it was *exactly* 1.2 miles from our house.

I'm psychotically good at estimating things... I'm not sure why, but I think I inherited it from both of my parents. My dad is the same way as me, and my mom has always been able to guess the time within a few minutes of the actual time - even when we've been gone all day without any clocks around.

This comes in handy for me, because I like to measure all my food to keep track of it on fitday. I bought a scale that's great to have, but I only use it once or twice/week - just to make sure I'm still guestimating properly. Last Sunday, I cut a piece of filet mignon, and I was trying to cut a 3 oz piece. I put my slice on the scale, and it was *exactly* 3.00 oz.

My friend Lisa says I should find a way to make money out of my great estimation skills. I think there are jobs for people like me in the circus.

Half the man I used to be

Ew. That's disturbing, and not at all what I meant!

I'm not half the person I was quite yet, but I did fit into half of my pants!

I'm going through all my clothes (again) to get rid of things that are too big for me, and I found a pair of pants that I used to wear before I started losing weight. I couldn't believe how big they were!

You always see those before and after pictures of people fitting into one leg of their before pants, so I decided to try it, and it worked! I'm no where near goal, but I'm already fitting into one side of my before pants. Cool!

I'll post a pic of this phenomenon eventually. I already put them away, and I'm in the middle of a lot of things, but I will show you. It's a riot.

Confessional

You know how I was so good the other day? Avoiding the delicious bread and oil that I love? Well..... yesterday I was not so good. D and I decided to go to the movies last night (saw Baby Mama - very cute, but I'm easy), and I just adore movie theater popcorn, so I planned for it in my calories, and I decided to have it for dinner.

I ordered a small (which is about a third of the size of the bucket pictured above) - that's 580 calories (with butter), and 47 grams of fat. Oh, is that all? I knew this, though, and as I said, I had saved up my calories, and I knew it was an unhealthy choice, but I rarely make unhealthy choices, so I figured, why not? It's not like I'm acting on impulse, or going over my daily calories...

.

I ate the entire bag. For some reason, popcorn goes right through the band. Danger! I was thinking I'd eat half the bag, but I saved the calories for the whole bag, just in case. Good thing! Thankfully, my appetite is much smaller than before (when I could eat an extra large popcorn AFTER eating dinner - holy moly!), so I was full after the small, but I was still able to eat the whole thing.

.

I woke up this morning feeling like junk. I feel like I chugged down an entire salt shaker in my sleep. I didn't add any salt to the popcorn, but it must have been LOADED with sodium. My body feels like junk today, and I was up a few lbs this morning. I know I didn't actually gain weight, but I'm totally bloated.

.

Today, I'm going to detox my body: I had a sugar free carnation instant breakfast for breakfast, I'll probably have the same for lunch, and I'll have fruits and veggies for snacks during the day. We are having company for dinner, so I'll probably grill out (weather permitting), but all I'll have is a very lean protein and veggies. Also, I plan to drink a ton of water to flush out my system, and hopefully, I'll work up a good sweat today as part of my detox as well.

.

I am afraid this is the end of the road for me and my old friend movie theater popcorn. I don't like it the way I used to, and I don't believe in putting things in my body that end up making me feel this way. I enjoy going to the movies, but next time, I'll have dinner first, and I'll skip the popcorn.

The Best Workouts Ever!

As if.

I should know better than to purchase a workout video at Marshalls for $4.99. Not only is the DVD defective, the instructor is like Rachel Ray meets Paula Abdul. It's not a pretty combo. She's about 42, but wants to be 22, and I'm actually cringing in embarassment for her.

.

I can't even dance along with the video because I feel to old to be doing these silly dance moves - not only that - they are like fresh out of 1996, but the DVD just came out this year. Again, no wonder it was $4.99!

Back to the belly for me! (Belly dancing, that is...) ;-)

.

Interestingly, I've decided I must secretly want to be a dancer. I keep buying dance related work out DVDs. It's probably because I experienced the profound loss of not being able to dance growing up. My parents thought dancing was evil. I know they'll deny it because they have revisionist memories, as I do, but Mom - it's true!!

.

Poor mini-me would sit in her room practicing first, second, third and forth position, bootlegging instructions from all my friends who actually took ballet. I would go to their shows and watch in awe of their totally rad dance moves (hey - it was 1986). All my friends took ballet, tap and jazz, but not me. I used to point my toes as curved as I could to form the ballet arch in my foot, and I was good at that! (I wonder if that's the root of my charlie horses today? My parents are right! Dancing IS evil!)

.

I went to a school that didn't allow dancing either. There was no prom, but instead, there was a Junior/Senior banquet. Gag! Even if I hadn't been suspended and not allowed to go, I wouldn't have gone. ;-)

.

But alas, I think I'm discovering that deep down I want to dance...probably because I wasn't allowed. See - that's what you get!! I suppose there could be worse things to want to do, so dance I shall!

Plugging away

What is the origin of that phrase? I googled it quickly, but saw nothing. I'm sure my sister knows...she knows everything.

My sister and I are opposites. She knows everything, but doesn't think so, and I think I know everything, but I really don't. I'm charming like that. ;-)

I had a ton of things to write this morning when I woke up, but my day has been so crazy, that now they have left my head. Good news - I'm down 2 more lbs, to a total of 121 (aka 14 more lbs until I lose Carmen!).

Last week was a dud, and this week I'm down 6. What can you do?

Temptations

Not those Temptations, you silly goose!

I'm talking about FOOOOOOD temptations!

I just came back from a working lunch that I had at Not Your Average Joe's. They have THE best bread and oil dip around...seriously. I already picked out my meal online prior to going, and I planned to have a little bit of the bread + oil.

When I got there, however, I decided it just wasn't worth it. I looked at the bread and dip longingly, many times, but I couldn't bring myself to indulge. Maybe it was because the person I was meeting with greeted me by saying how fabulous I looked...maybe it was because I secretly was worried the bread would get stuck (doubt it)... who knows, but I watched my lunch partner eat just one small serving, and I realized, once again, that's how the skinny people do it. Just have a little bit!!

Not for me, though. Not today. Instead I ordered flank steak with sweet potatoes. The steak was overcooked, and it kept getting stuck going down. Gross/annoying. I had a little bit of meat, and a little sweet potato, and that was that. I'm back in my office now eating fruit, and it's yummy.

Oh! The worst part is that I got a to go order for Karen, and I realized they gave me bread and oil for that too! I had to be good TWICE in a row. Tonight I'll probably eat pasta to make up for how good I was today. Kidding!!!

I have no idea what's for dinner, but I think I'm in the mood for a grilled chicken salad. Yum. :)

Another crazy week

We have a lot of transitions going on at work right now, to put it mildly, and work is busier than ever! Okay, not technically busier than ever. I'm not working 80 hr weeks like I used to, but I'm working longer days than I want to, and it's cutting into my workouts. On Monday I had an abreviated work out, and yesterday, I missed it completely.

I started working yesterday AM at 6, and I got home from work at 8. In all fairness, I stopped for a fairly quick bite to eat with D on my way home from work, but I still had to work another hour when I got home. My allergies were terrible on top of it, so I felt like junk.

I just took a Claritan today (which I didn't even have time to do yesterday), and I'm hoping today will be a little better. It's raining - does that wash any of the pollen away? I sure hope so. I'm all set with it for now! I'm glad it's spring and all, but sheesh! ;)

Today is another busy day at work, as I am conducting a 2 hr training session tomorrow with one of my colleagues, and I still need to finish developing my materials. In addition, there are a million other projects I need to pay attention to as well. I'll get there. I am working out tonight, no matter what.

I was down another lb today, for a total of 119. I'm now 16 lbs away from losing Carmen!! For the past two months, I've averaged a 2.75 loss/week. I'm thrilled with those results, and I'll be okay if it slows down as well. I'll enjoy it while I can!

Home Stretch

I know it's ridiculously premature for me to call this section of my journey the home stretch, but I can't help it - that's how I feel today. I know this feeling will be followed by months of challenges, highs and lows, plateaus, frustrations, celebrations, etc, but I'm living in the moment right now, and in this moment, I feel like I'm in the home stretch. I suppose I should leave the power of that phrase to refer to my last 10 or 15 lbs, but I've lost 118 lbs, and I'm well over half way to my goal.

Hence, the feeling of home strech-edness. :) I feel like the hardest part is done - I've changed my habits completely, quit the caffeine, found a way to hardwire exercise into my routine, changed my routine completely to incorporate healthy living, lost the majority of the weight I had to lose, and now I can just cruise along and get to the finish line.

I'm making it sound ridiculously easy, and I still have a good amount of weight to lose, clearly. I'm sure there will be days in the future when I think I'm crazy for writing this post, but hey, it's just how I feel today. Optimistic.

I'm not delusional. I plan to be at my goal weight (still not sure exactly what that is - we'll see) in February of 2009. I've been working on my weight loss since September, so I'm eight months into it, and I plan that it will be another 10 months until I'm done with the losing portion of this journey. So while I'm more than half way there weight wise, I'm not even half way there with the time I'm planning it to take me, but that is okay.

The more I lose, the better I feel and the more fun I have with this journey. I feel more energized all the time, and I find new things I can do. Those are only going to increase as I lose, so in September, when I'm hopefully down another 30 - 35 lbs, I'll still have a ways to go, but imagine how much better I'll feel with an additional 30-35 lbs gone for good!

At that point, I'll weigh less than I've weighed in a decade. That will be pretty cool.

Have you seen my iPod?

Do you have any idea how horrible it is to work out with out my beloved iPod?! Last Friday was the last time I remember having it. I went to the gym after work, came home directly after - I could SWEAR I had it with me at the time - came in the house, got ready, and took off with Krissy and Bruno. I am a creature of habit, and I *always* keep my iPod in the same spot: on a basket on my kitchen counter.

I'm thinking that somehow in my rush, I put it somewhere else, but I have no idea where. I called the gym, and it wasn't there, but I really think it's at my house somewhere. This weekend, I need to do a THOROUGH cleaning of my upstairs, and I'm hoping I will uncover it in the process. In the mean time, D has been nice enough to share hers with me. Thank God!

Okay, on a happier note, I was down 3 lbs today, to a total of 118. I'm hoping to lose 2 more by next Tuesday when I get a fill! Either way, I was glad to see the scale move. It's just so strange how lately I've shifted from a couple lbs/week to 5-7 lbs one week, and nothing the next. Strange....but again, as long as it's moving in the right direction, I'm not complaining.

Cinco De Mayo!

Yesterday, we went over Jimmy's for Cinco De Mayo. What a spread! Jimmy made his famous homemade guacamole and tacos, Lanie and Billy brought chicken and steak quesadillas and chili and Steph and Carolyn brought loaded nachos. For all that food, the peeps did a good job making a dent in it!

I actually didn't eat. Originally, when it was all put out, I wasn't hungry (even though I had the hungry horrors yesterday morning), and by the time I started to feel slightly hungry, it was all put away and too late to eat anyway. Nothing was overly healthy, so that's part of the reason I wasn't inclined to eat anything.

I ate 578 calories yesterday, and I STILL wasn't down anything today. I have a feeling that tomorrow will be my day, though!

***thinking good thoughts***

Can we really call it water if it's as bad as soda?

I can't believe all the "water" that is on the market currently, that is not water at all. Shouldn't we call it punch? Vitamin water has 125 calories in each bottle. A can of coke is about 145. They trick you into thinking you're having something healthy, but you aren't! Beware.

What is going on?

This morning I was really hungry. I had a Smart Ones frozen dinner for breakfast - 230 calories, 4 g fiber. It took me 30 minutes to get through because I kept getting full, but I finally finished it (cold), and within 30 minutes I was hungry again! I ate a 100 calorie curves bar (5 grams of fiber - fiber is supposed to stick to your bones), and that barely held me over either.

I ate a fairly small grilled chicken salad for lunch at 11:30, and now I'm stuffed. I don't get it. I haven't lost anything still...the scale just isn't moving. Some days I'm up a few lbs of water weight, but in general, I'm just staying at my lowest. It's only been about a week since I lost something, so it's not that bad, but I'd like to lose a few more lbs before my fill next week. I'm only down 10 lbs since my last fill, which was 5 weeks ago, so I've lost 2 lbs/week since this last fill. The fill before that, I averaged over 3 lbs/week. I'd love to lose another 5 lbs in the next 8 days before my next fill to put me back at the 3lbs/week average, but we'll see. I hope to have a good loss this week since I didn't lose anything last week.

In the mean time, I'm hungry, I'm stuffed, what is going on?

I wish I could recycle my spare tire

As I lose weight and exercise, my body is shrinking significantly. From my hips to my feet, I'm doing pretty okay. Soon I will be down 10 men's pant sizes. By soon, I mean as soon as I get to the store...I think. My shoulders are getting more narrow by the day, but I have this terrible spare tire around my waist (or what is supposed to be a waist) that is not shrinking with the gusto and enthusiasm as the rest of my body.

I do 90 lb resistant ab crunches 5 times/week, as well as 130 lbs on my obliques. I have recently learned that ab exercises will definitely strengthen your abs, but they will not necessarily make you lose the fat that's above them. Huh? Why?! For many women, the abdominal area is the last place they lose. Now, to be fair, I have lost a ton of weight in my abdominal area, and what is now my spare car tire used to be a spare monster truck tire. I'm making progress, and that's all I can hope for.

In the mean time, I need to step up my cardio, and I think that will help. I'm fantastic about strength training, but I've been skipping cardio more than I should, hoping that I can just start kayaking, but I haven't yet, so I need to force myself to get in more cardio in the mean time. That will help burn more fat, as I continue to build muscle and lose weight by eating healthy.

I'll keep you posted!

Dog Tired

I stayed up too late the past two nights, and I'm useless today. Normally I don't require much sleep, but it's caught up with me. Maybe I'm getting older!! I thought you required LESS sleep when you get older... Hmmmm...


Anyway, I'm going to be in bed early tonight - hopefully around 10PM. I have a very busy work day ahead of me, and I need to be fresh. I hate not being 100% because there are so many things I'd like to accomplish today, but I just want to flop on my couch and watch tv. However, I haven't given into that urge quite yet.


We went out for breakfast with Lanie, Ali, Steph and Carolyn, and then I came back and started to prepare food for the cookout this afternoon (we are thanking Bruno, Billy and Jimmy for helping us out in a BIG way yesterday cutting down a tree, trimming another one, as well as our bushes, and fixing our deck! T*H*A*N*K Y*O*U!!!), so I got the asparagus and potatoes done, and then did a little house cleaning, and now I'm in the middle of yardwork, but I decided to update you, dear reader.


I know, I know, you couldn't possibly miss out on this thrilling play by play of my boring day. I had my usual at breakfast: 2 eggs over easy with 1 slice of toasted rye bread sans butter. I don't need butter because of the yoke. We also had poutine, a French Canadian novelty, consisting of fries, brown gravy and squeeky cheese. It's ridiculously good (whether you think it sounds it or not, but it is), and ridiculously fattening. I had my usual 1-2 fries out of it, which is just enough to enjoy it without succumbing to the high fat/calorie content. I know it doesn't look appealing in the picture below, but that's what it looks like, and it doesn't apologize for it.

Today I made twice baked potatoes (kind of) to serve with the filet mignon and rib eye's we're having later. I didn't make them low fat. Well, I used light sour cream and reduced fat cheese, but I also used 2 sticks of butter. I had a bite - YUM! I won't be eating those later - only serving them. If I fatten up the people around me, I may appear smaller.

That's my story, and I'm sticking to it!

Bariatric Surgery

I attended a seminar this week, and one of the speakers talked about trends in healthcare. It was fascinating. One of the biggest areas of growth for hospitals right now, and in some markets, THE biggest, is bariatric (weight loss) surgery, followed by plastic surgery, as a result of weight loss surgery. The speaker commented that he thinks it says a lot about our society right now that we have such a need for bariatrics.

Duh.

Oh, is there an obesity epidemic in the US? I hadn't noticed.

I didn't like the way he said it. He said it in a judgemental way. Weight loss surgery is a medical treatment for a disease. Yes, obesity is classified as a disease. It's a disease that is judged by society, similar to alcoholism, another disease. Some people are predisposed to alcoholism, other's obesity or diabetes or heart conditions or cancer. We can all do things to try to prevent our predispositions, but it's not always possible, and we are imperfect.

Diet and exercise has a success record of only 2-5%* for the obese, over time. (Incidentally, in the interest of objectivity, I didn't cite any weight loss surgery proponents for these statistics, though, as you can imagine, all WLS litature is littered with these stats.) If you are in that 2-5%, you are awesome, and that is fantastic! Statistically speaking, however, weight loss surgery is the only effective method of treatment for obesity. I'm not talking about being overweight, and having 30-40 lbs to lose, but once you're in the 60 to 80 to 100 + zone, it's something worth considering. Weight loss surgery has an 80% success rate.** (Although I've heard as low as 50-60% success rate, and that's still remarkably better than 2-5%.)

It is a surgical solution to a medical problem. Our society has a very unhealthy relationship with food, and for those of us who are lucky enough to be predisposed to obesity, we can finally get the help we need to take our lives back. No one should judge this or look down upon our culture for finally providing the help that people desperately need. Yes, we own a big part of the problem when we get to be soo overweight - I owned most of the problem, and I know that, but now I own the solution. No one can discount that.

So there. ;-)

*http://www.delicious-low-fat-recipes.com/article-quit-your-diet.html

http://www.nourishingconnections.com/five_facts_diet_industry.htm

http://www.naafa.org/documents/brochures/nextdiet.html

**http://www.stronghealth.com/services/surgical/bariatric/

Hurry up and Weight

My new thing, apparently, is having a big loss one week, and then nothing the next. I hate the weeks when the scale doesn't move. I keep thinking I'm doing something wrong. Then I have a big loss the next week, and I'm on top of the world, followed by another stagnant week. Why is my body torturing me like this?

I lost nothing 3 weeks ago, then 7 lbs last week, followed by nothing (so far) this week. This week, the scale has been very strange. Some days I'm up 5 lbs, and then the next day I'm at my lowest again. Yesterday I was at my lowest, today I'm up 4. I know I'm not really up 4 lbs, but the scale says I am. I'm not a fan of not losing *and* being up 4 lbs...not a fan at all...

I know that I'm averaging a 2-3 lb loss per week, which is double what I "should" be losing at this point with the band, so I have nothing to complain or worry about. If it bothers me that much, I shouldn't weigh myself every day, but it's okay...it doesn't bother me that much. Daily weighing keeps me on track. When I'm down, I want to stay down, so it motivates me. When I'm up, I want to get back down, so that motivates me too. I just really prefer when it's down. Can you blame me?

I think this strange weight loss pattern has to do with my strength training. I keep going up on the weights at the gym, and it takes a bit for my body to adjust to that, so then I have a big loss, and then I up my weights again, and my body adjusts again. I may be wrong, for all I know, but I may be right. ;-)

Cloud 9

Lately, I can't go anywhere without people telling me how good I look. THANKS!! :) At the second day of our seminar, I can't even count how many people told me that I looked great, etc... I also was a victim of about 74 once overs. People I spoke to that I hadn't seen in a while were giving me the up and down look, blatantly...several people! It was a riot.

TJ told me he kept seeing people check me out when I wasn't looking as well. I think because I had on pants that fit, people were just trying to figure out exactly what had happened to me.

I know some people are uncomfortable when people tell them they look like they lost weight - Not me! I love it. I feel bad that I didn't tell anyone I had the lap band. It's just that I'm worried they'll think that I took some easy way out, and I didn't have to work hard to accomplish what I have, as I've said before. Many people do not lose much weight with the lap band because they want it to do all the work for them, and that doesn't work.

I'll tell them all eventually, but for now, I'm just talking about healthy eating and exercising, and that's the truth!

PS - Thanks for all the awesome comments about my before and now pics. I'm totally blushing! Yes, Carmen, I picked out the pin stripes all by myself! Are you proud? ;-)

Stuff fat people like

I'm sure you've heard about the popular blog - Stuff White People Like, right? Well as an ode to that site, like everyone else, I'm going to do my own version for you today, dear reader.


Stuff Fat People Like

• Free cone day at Ben and Jerry's!
• Slip on shoes
• Tables, not booths!
• Delivery
• Moving Walkways
• Skinny mirrors
• Cats
• Elastic waist pants (meow)
• Comfortable shoes
• Online shopping
• Peapod
• Close parking spaces
• MDs who mind their own business
• Sitcoms

What else? Post your suggestions! This is not nearly as funny as Stuff White People Like! Help!