When it rains...

As if yesterday's post wasn't pathetic enough, it seems things have gone from bad to worse. Murphy's Law is in full effect, and whatever can go wrong, is going wrong. TJ and I have our training this afternoon, and without going into the gruesome details, I am having major "lady" problems, that would usually prevent me from leaving my house, let alone driving over an hour away to conduct a seminar when I'll be trapped on stage in front of a group of strangers.

Just what I needed - another health issue. I think my body is just going through MASSIVE changes, and it is reacting to them in strange ways. There's a reason they say not to lose weight too fast, and thank God I didn't get gastric bypass, because I can't imagine what a mess I'd be. I'm not blaming my lap band - I totally heart my lap band - I'm just suggesting that my rapid weight loss may have shook things up a bit, and now my body is trying to figure things out. It's like if a truck was used to towing 3 tons every day for years and years, it would perform in a way that supported that. If you suddenly removed the extra weight it was pulling, something may go awry. It wouldn't be conditioned to perform in that way, so it would need to adjust and parts of it may still be overcompensating in ways it didn't need to.

I should be at my healthiest, and somehow I don't feel I am.

Anyway, enough of that. My pity party is officially over. I think/hope the worst of today's issues are behind me. I'm thankful that I have lost all the weight I have because I wouldn't be getting up in front of all of these people if I hadn't. I have a new freedom that I didn't have before. I'm thankful that I can go to a regular store to find something to wear the night before a big day, and not have to hunt down some plus sized store filled with tacky clothes, trying to find something that's remotely acceptable.

I needed a shirt to wear under my suit today, so I went to Kohl's last night. They have a bunch of ribbed plain shirts that I like to wear under suits. They are very versatile. I have about 5 or 6 of them already, maybe more. The first batch, I purchased XL shirts. I needed something smaller, so last night, I purchased size L, mens. My mind's eye for size is changing. In the store, I thought the size L looked on the big side. I was looking for a medium, but they had NONE. I couldn't believe I could only find sizes too big. The mediums wouldn't fit now, but they would soon, and the shirts were on sale, so I wanted to stock up. Oh well.

I told Alison that the L looks big to me now, but last year, it would have looked as though it was made for a Ken doll. She told me she totally agreed, and she would think the same thing now. It's like the new jeans I bought myself for my birthday with a giftcard Alison got me - I thought they looked big (not too big for me, but big in general), and Alison thought they looked tiny. It's funny how we get used to looking at things a certain way.

Sometimes I look in the mirror now, and I don't see any weight loss. I think I look as fat as ever...then I see pictures of myself before, and OH BOY, I can see the difference. LOL. I've just been roughly the size I am now for a few months, and I've gotten over how thin it feels to be this size from being larger sizes, and now I'm just at the stage where I'm ready for my body to adjust to the weight I've lose in the past few months so that I feel a difference again.

I'm going to get through this day, and TJ and I are going to be brilliant. That's my prediction. Okay, maybe not quite *brilliant*, but we are going to do a fine job, and hopefully we'll be a little funny too. Wish us luck!