For us bigger folks to look good, the lighting has to be just right, the angle comes into play, the fabric has to be thick enough not to cling but not so thick that it bulks, the length has to end at just the right point, as to not draw unwanted attention to problem areas, the patterns need to work with us, not against, and the stars have to align for us to look good - if not, we end up looking like Kirstie Alley's tabloid photos. It's not her fault - candid photos are not permitted for those of us with a BMI of greater than 25.
I would love to look like Brad Pitt, but I don't think I'll ever be a thin person. I think I will struggle with my weight for every day of my life, and I think if I'm lucky, I'll settle in somewhere around thick, but not lumpy, and that will be okay. I've been given a lot of gifts, and being thin and fit just WASN'T one of them.
However, to achieve my size 14-16 destiny, I'm going to need to work VERY hard every day...forever. Fun! LOL. The lap band is not a get out of fat free card - it's a tool that can help me limit my portions, and it's also a tool that I can ignore. It's a tool that will work for me for a limited amount of time, but probably not for longer than the first few years. Once I get the weight off, it's up to me to keep it off.
I've gained all this weight back without even trying hard, and sticking to a 1200 calorie/day diet isn't really helping the weight come off too quickly...probably because I lost all the weight eating a 600-700 calorie/day diet. I'm not eating double what I ate to lose the weight the first time - no *wonder* it's being so stubborn. I talked to the MD about this yesterday, and she said I need to make up for the difference with exercise.
She basically said that whether I eat 600 or 1200 calories/day, my fat cells will want to repopulate my body - they don't leave, they just shrink, and the only way I can keep the weight off is to work out HARD every day, or just about every day. If I'm hiking for 30-45 mins at a good pace now, double that and push harder. A little bit of pain is okay in my knees and my back, just be smart about it. She recommended that I sign up with a personal trainer, which I think is a good idea.
The last trainer I had trained me right into an injury, so no more Planet Fitness 18 year old trainers for me. I want to find someone who has done this for at least a decade. We talked about everything I eat and the empty calories I consume. Even if I'm generally sticking to 1200 calories/day, there are empty calories that I need to cut out for now. She said that the hardest part to move past my (growing) plateau will be to re-lose all of the weight I gained back and get past my lowest point, but once I do that, the losing will get easier.
I'm going to be very strict with myself for the next few weeks - cutting out empty calories, taking my vitamins, working out hard and trying to visualize a thin me. She said that big people, even ones who are losing weight, are very different from thin people. Big people (most often) are sedentary except when they are working out. They watch TV more. They sit at their desks without moving. They think of ways to save energy, when they should be looking for ways to expend energy. Thin people figit. They sit at their desks and their tows tap, or their legs swing or their knees pop up and down - all of these things burn calories. If I want to become a thin person, I need to try to mimick these habits.
She's right - TJ and I both multitask while watching TV. I do it by working on my computer or blogging or working on a project while watching TV, and he irons and cleans and tidies. I see the difference! When I'm not feeling well or if I'm exhausted from working a long day, I can block out the housework I have to do and just veg out in front of the TV. TJ is not able to do such a thing. I can remember thinner times in my life where I was the same way. Fat = lethargic = apathetic = fatter.
It's a cycle, and I need to look at this getting thin/ner thing in every area of my life. It's not just a weight thing, it's a life thing. I'm starting to get it...again...
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4 comments:
Too many comments in my head to cover them all... suffice to say I sat here nodding my head reading the entire thing...
I agree with it all especially the part about how fat people don't move unless it's exercise time.
and LOL about the difference between your and TJ's TV multi-task routines -
Good job at keep refocusing and cutting out empty calories - we don't need them even though they taste so darn good.
Very interesting! What do you think about the recent studies that (duh) exercise increases your appetite and makes you eat more? Do you just need to be more mindful, or do you exercise enough that a few extra calories don't cancel out the good you've done?
i have to tell you I was sitting at my desk tapping my feet up and down when I read this and was smirking. First glad to see a decent blog entry, complete with a cute picture, and funny witty writing.
It is hard to cut out empty calories (I know as that is all I eat). I am making a prediction right now that you will hit your goal weight by August 12, 2010.
Steph - I think she's of the mind set that if you exercise and eat healthy foods, cutting out empty calories, the volume of the healthy food you eat doesn't matter, as long as you are only eating to satiate. I don't know if that's right or not, but it's not a crazy notion.
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