Let's get Jolly!

I have been eating the Orville R's Smart Pop 100 calorie single serving bags of popcorn for 2 years now.  They are a nice, light snack, and it was a good way to get in 4 grams of fiber, which is always a tricky one for me to stay on track with.

Someone in my office has been making this Jolly Time popcorn for months now, and it smelled so good - I assumed it was full fat.  Just last week - she told me it was only one point, so I looked at the nutrition information, and saw it has 9 grams of fiber!!  It's made with whole grain corn.

Darcy picked me up a box, and let me tell you - it's one thousand times better than that cardboard I had been eating all along.  It's still clearly a light popcorn, and the serving size is small, but it's quite tasty, and a great source of natural fiber!  I'm sold.

I can't seem to lose weight.  I was about the same weight today (possibly 1 lb higher) than I was last Saturday.  I know I'm down 8-9 lbs in the past week and a half, but I was down that weight last Saturday.  It's not fun to work so hard and to not see a change in the scale.

I'm focusing on the positive, though.  My clothes are fitting better, I'm hardwired to workout each day, and I know if I stick with it, I'm going to see results eventually.  I'm on the express train to fitness...my body just hasn't gotten the memo yet.  ;-)

I ended up doing 30 mins of yoga only yesterday - no swimming.  My arms were so bad, Darcy wanted me to go to the hospital - LOL.  By the end of the day, I couldn't touch my right arm to my face at all.   Thank God for that hot tub - the 15 minutes I spent in there were the only reprieve from the constant pain that I had all day.

My arms were so tight, they were emitting tons of heat.  Today, they are still very sore, but they aren't as bad as yesterday.  I'm going to the store in a few minutes to pick up some advil.  Hopefully that will help a bit.

Today is a full day:  errands - now, kickboxing/training at 10, then homework (lots, yuck), work work, visit little baby boy!, clean house, see Brooke - when can I fit in apple picking???  :)

There are truly never enough hours in the day!

Oooooooooooooooooow

(Can't do pics on the blog on Friday's - the PC I use is missing something.)

I thought I was sore yesterday, but that was NUTTIN compared to today. I could barely wash my hair - it hurts so much to bend my arms.

I was in a meeting first thing this morning, and I had an itch on my face. I was trying to bring my hand up to my face to scratch it, and it hurt so bad, it took forever to get there. I can't imagine what I must have looked like. LOL

I skipped my work out yesterday. I didn't want to, but it just happened. My arms were very sore, and my knee was really bothering me so I figured if I was going to take a day off (which I know I need to from time to time), it was a good day.

That is what I thought before I met today. Today, my knee is still completely stiff, and I can't move my arms. I can't take 2 days off in a row, so I'm open to suggestions from my readers!

Swimming is out. There's no way my arms will make it. I'm thinking exercise bike, but I have to be somewhat careful with my knee because we are doing legs with our trainer in the AM, and I want to be in good shape (as much as possible) for that.

Today is going to be a calorie challenge. I already accidentally had frosted flakes for breakfast,

PAUSE

How does one accidentally eat a sugary breakfast cereal for breakfast? In the building I work in on Friday's, there is a vending machine that has cereal and milk, even skim milk. I love this because if I'm running late, I can get a healthy breakfast here.

It was too early for me to eat breakfast before leaving for my meeting at the hospital, so when I got into this office after that, I went to the vending machine to get cereal. There are usually quite a few options, but today, they only had corn flakes and frosted flakes.

I used to LOVE frosted flakes as a kid. This is a weird vending machine. You put the money in, and then press the mechanical arrows to get the food to rotate around. When your selection is in front of you, you slide open a little window and take it out.

For some reason, I thought if I left the window open, I could put my selection back and keep browsing. Ah, no.

So I pulled out the FF to see the nutrition information, and they had 70 more calories than the corn flakes - *not* worth it to me at all. I tried to put them back, but it wouldn't let me.

Now, as a person who wastes far too much money, I don't know why it didn't occur to me until just now, as I type, that I could have just bought the corn flakes too and left the frosted flakes for someone else to take off the counter. I'm an idiot.

So with the skim milk, my breakfast was 300 calories. I'm usually around 150, so now I'm starting off in the hole.

We are having lunch today at La Caretta's, which means I'll get my steak taco salad that I adore. It's not terrible for you, but red meat is high in calories, cheese and sour cream add up quickly too.

I already have a strategy, and I've already put my calories in for my lunch:

I'm going to set aside 3 oz of red meat and put the rest on another plate, I'm going to eyeball one oz of cheese, 1/4 cup of sour cream and put the remaining cheese and sour cream on the other plate as well. It will still then be a 477 calorie lunch, which is much higher than usual, but we are going to have salad and sushi for dinner, so my dinner will be less than 200 calories, and it will all work out to a 937 calorie day, unless I am hungry for a snack, and then I'll have a banana.

Yes, TJ, it does take a lot of planning to make this all work.

LOL

Last night I did something I never do - I had a snack at 9:30.

I had dinner at 4:45, got my hair cut, met up with Brooke, and ended up spending more time with her than originally planned. By 9:30, I was starving, so I had a 100 calorie bag of popcorn.

I was up 8 lbs last night as compared to the morning, and I was very annoyed, but this morning, the 8 lbs were gone and I weighed the same weight as yesterday morning, so I'm still down 9 lbs total.

My weight fluctuation is ridiculous, and yes, I weigh myself too much.

It's official

I bought the gloves, so I must be serious about this kickboxing thing.  :)  That's what my instructor said last night - she must not know how I operate.  Purchase does not equal commitment, sadly.

However, I'm *really* enjoying the workouts.  She's great to work out with - she pushes us hard, but not too hard.  I keep thinking I can't possibly do the next thing she's asking me to do, but I can!  Working out with a GOOD personal trainer can make all the difference - especially if you aren't a pro.

She doesn't just show us how to use the machines or teach us exercises, she watches us, making sure we're doing it right, encouraging us when it's hard, ensuring our techniques are correct...that's how it should be.  As we were wrapping up our session last night, a kickboxing class was starting.

It was a nice reminder of how far away I am from being ready to join one of those classes, but I do think that I could be ready after our 6 weeks of sessions with her. I felt better in just half a week of doing her perscribed workout, and I'm hoping that by Saturday, I'll be even that much closer.

I am having trouble typing today because it hurts my biceps - lol - but I'll make it. 

If you are struggling with getting into a good routine, I can't say enough about the worth of a good trainer.

Chicken Tacos

We had chicken tacos for dinner last night - easy to prepare, and always a yummy and fun treat!  We used the left over chicken from our chicken dinner this weekend and prepared the chicken chunks in taco seasoning.  For sides, we had salsa (always fat free), fresh tomatoes (phenomenal, as they should be for $3/each), lettuce, low fat cheese, and Fage fat free greek yogurt, in place of sour cream.

We used the organic, wheat free, corn tortillas, which were 120 calories for 2.  I think 2 tacos worked out to be about 300 calories.

I am the biggest loser

Yesterday, we had a *great* workout.  First, our trainer started us off with weight trainings for arms (and boy, are they throbbing today!), and then we did kickboxing.  I overexerted, and my knee was really sore by the end of the work out.

We got home at 6, had *delicious* chicken tacos (will post more on that later), and we settled in to watch the Biggest Loser, taped from the night before.  I think the show is ridiculous and irresponsible, as I've said before, but I still like to see how hard they push the contestants, because it makes me think that I can work out just as hard.

In that line, they were showing this very fit contestant jumping up onto a high platform.  It was *really* impressive.  I decided that I should try jumping on my ottoman, even though my knee was sore.  I thought - if that guy can jump onto a 3 foot platform (without a running start), I should be able to jump up on my 1 foot high ottoman.

Of course, I was already exhausted from my workout, but I just had to try.  I jumped up with all my might, and at the last minute, while I was up in the air, I chickened out, and put my knees underneath my body and my whole weight landed on my knees as I landed, kneeling, on the ottoman.  LOL - Darcy couldn't fathom what had possessed me to land on my knees like that, even when I explained to her that I had chickened out.

I heard a nice crunch, and obviously, I hurt my knee even more, which is why I am truly, the biggest LOSER.  I should have iced it, but it didn't even occur to me.  We went in the hot tub last night, so that was heaven for our sore muscles.

The good news is, I don't think I did anything majorly wrong to my knee.  It's stiff and sore today, but I have a feeling it is going to heal just fine by tomorrow or Saturday (hopefully by Saturday because we're focusing on legs!).

I have *no* idea when I'm going to fit my work out in today.  I realize that I can take a day off, but I really don't want to.  At the very least, since my body is in pain, I want to do swimming.  It's a great cardio workout if you push yourself constantly, and I do.  It's also very low impact on the joints.  I may even swim without using my injured leg tonight.

I have a very busy work day, followed by a hair appt at 5:15, and sometime after that and before 7, I think I'm going to see Brooke briefly, who is home for a weekend visit, and then I have to watch a movie for school so that I can write a paper that's due tomorrow, plus a bunch of other homework.

If Brooke isn't able to meet me between 6-7, that's when I'll work out, but if she is, then I'm thinking I'll head to the pool at 7, be home by 8, watch the movie from 8-10 and write the paper while I'm watching it, as well as doing the other homework while the movie is on.  It can work.

I've been trying to be in bed by 10 so that I can get the rest I need to be healthy and energized.  It's hard to do, but it seems to be working.  I just need to figure out when in the world I'm fitting dinner in to all of this.  Brooke is meeting other friends for dinner at 7:30, so I can't do dinner with her, although that would be quite convenient!

I think I'll have to get home by 4:40 - change, eat an early dinner from 4:50-5:10 and then be at the hairdressers for 5:15. 

TJ commented recently that he can't believe how much planning goes into this dieting thing.  LOL.  No kidding!!!  That's why when I had all the success, I had to make losing weight my top priority, and when I wasn't able to, I stopped losing.

I'm hoping that maintaining won't be quite so much work, but that's a long ways off!

Today I was down 4 lbs from yesterday, so I'm down 9 lbs total since last Wednesday. 

Oy.

I was up 2 lbs from yesterday, so my one week anniversary of being fitness and nutrition crazy leaves me at 5 lbs lost - during the week, at my lowest point, I was down 11 lbs.  5 lbs in one week is not a bad thing...11 is better.

Last night, I got home from work at 8PM, and it was my day off from working out (according to my trainer), but somehow, I felt like my day wasn't done until I got my workout in.  LOL - TJ has been saying this mantra to me for 2 years now, and the fact that I worked out 7 days in a row without a break must finally be allowing the concept to seep into my brain.

I really wanted to go for a swim, so I got 30 minutes of cardio in last night, swimming at a good clip.  I got home around 9:10, watched 30 minutes of TV and was in bed by 10.  I woke up today feeling pretty well rested.  I think I'm rounding the corner on these allergies, and the medicine definitely helped with the sinus infection.

Yesterday, I was very busy, and I consumed 735 calories.  I didn't eat anything after 5:30 pm, and I was very cautious about my sodium.  Last night, I weighed myself, and I weighed 2 lbs more than I did in the AM, which appeared to be good news because I usually weigh 3-4 lbs more at night than I do in the AM, so I thought it was safe to say I would be down at least 1 -2 more lbs today. 

Somehow, when I got up this morning, I weighed the same as I did last night!  That never happens.  I don't know what's going on - if it's muscles growing, or all the water I'm drinking...if it's the vitamins I've just started taking...I'm going to talk to my trainer tonight, but I know she's not a nutritionist, and she's just going to say I need to consume way more calories than I'm taking in now...but every time I've done that, I've gained...no thanks.

So here I sit...eating a disgusing Kashi trail mix bar for breakfast.  Some people like them - I hate them.  I eat things I don't like if they are healthy.  I realize not everyone feels as though they are able to do that, so I guess that's bully for me!

I like eating healthy and working out regularly.  I feel much healthier, so even though I'm not seeing as much of a difference on the scale as I would like, and even though I appear to be gaining weight for no reason, I'm staying the course, and I know it will start to work soon enough.  5 lbs down in one week is nothing to ignore.

(11 lbs would be better.  LOL)

Monday's don't deserve to be this yummy

We had dinner at one of our neighbor's houses last night, and it was so good, I'm still in awe!  They know we are planning a trip to Tuscany, so the night had a Tuscan theme.  We started out with a salad of mixed greens, scallions, pear, pomegranate seeds, and goat cheese.  It was so flavorful!  I'm sometimes shy about mixing fruits with vegetables, but this combination was delightful and a flavor sensation.

The entree was actually from a Cooking Light Recipe, but our host prepared it even better by using pappardelle (I think) wide noodles.  This recipe includes porcini mushrooms, shallots, an exotic mushroom blend, minced garlic, chunks of Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese, heavy whipping cream, fresh sage, truffle oil, etc...  It was to die for.  I kept my portion fairly small, so it was about 400 calories.  I can't imagine what the full fat version would be.  This was one of the best meals I have had in a long time.  If you try the recipe (as I'm going to), let me know what you think!!

Of course they offered us dessert as well, and they served us creamy gourmet vanilla ice cream topped with melted mexican chocolate and fresh strawberries.  LOL - it was sinfully delicious, and *not* a cooking light recipe.  I have been avoiding empty calories, but this was well worth the exception.  I kept my portion size small, and my calories for the day yesterday were about 1250 - a miracle considering this dinner I had.

Let me tell you - Tuesday is going to have a lot to live up to at this point.  ;-)

We managed to get our work out in before the dinner.  We went to the pool, and I got about 45 minutes of cardio in - I also did all the rest of the work out in the pool.  Combining my cardio with the rest of the exercises is probably cheating, but as sore as I was, and as little time as I had, I did my best.  Today is a day of rest for me, according to my trainer, but I may get 30-40 minutes of swimming in.  It's low impact, a good calorie burner, and it won't throw me off for my training tomorrow.  Plus, I still have calories to burn from last night.  :)

This week is full of challenges for me.  I have a business lunch today at Friday's, of all places.  Friday's is terrible about sharing their nutrition information, so I only have a very limited selection to choose from, based upon the few dishes I can find the nutrition information for.  I think I will order the turkey burger on a whole wheat bun (410 calories) with no cheese or mayo, and I will use mustard to make it wet enough to swallow.  I'll eat half of that and have a side salad instead of fries.  Salad (and light dressing) + half the burger will put me at about 300 calories for lunch, which is fine.  I probably won't like the food, but I'll get the protein, whole grains and veggies in that I need, so that's what counts.

I have a lot of work to do today, so I'm planning to work late, get a swim in, get started on some homework, and then have an hour to relax before I go to bed and start this whole thing all over again.

I was down 3 of the 6 lbs I was up from yesterday, so I'm officially down 8 lbs for the past 5 or 6 days, and I'm hoping to be down the other 3 tomorrow, to have an 11 lb loss for week 1.  Then I'll totally feel like a legit biggest loser contestant.  ;-)

Healthy Comfort Food

We had the girls over for dinner on Saturday night, and I read them a list of choices from my meal plan for the week to see what they wanted me to make.  They picked the chicken dinner.  A chicken dinner can be very high in fat and calories, but it doesn't have to me.

First off, by purchasing grass fed, free range, antibiotic free chicken, you are skimming up to 1/3 of the fat and calories over the grain fed versions right there alone...not to mention that depending upon the chicken/brand/etc, you will be getting 2-4 times the Omega-3s. 

Normally, I make a chicken dinner with mashed potatoes, corn, and gravy, made from the drippings...and don't forget about the rolls with butter...  Instead, we started off with a garden salad, and then I baked a roasted vegetable medley with sweet potatoes, carrots, onions, garlic and some white potatoes.  That way, you're getting a much smaller portion of the white potato, and you're mixing it in with the much healthier carrots and sweet potatoes, while still getting that comforty starch. 

For gravy, I didn't use any of the drippings - I purchased gravy that was low in fat and calories, and I watered it down a little bit and seasoned it, so it was light, but tasty, and that was our meal.  I pan roasted 2 trays of veggies before cooking the chicken, and I seasoned them with thyme, ground pepper, garlic salt, garlic powder, onion powder, fresh basil, dried basil and oregano.  They came out fantasic.  When the chicken only had 30 minutes left, I combined one pan of the roasted vegatbles in with the chicken to cook in the juices, but I chose to eat the veggies that didn't soak in any of the chicken - they were plenty flavorful without the little bit of added fat.

The girls couldn't get over what a delicous meal it was, and how healthy it was. They also commented on the difference they could taste in the chicken.  I was delighted to have company over for a very healthy meal that passed the taste test!

Oooooooooooooooooooowwwwww

The kickboxing work out was awesome.  She really kicked our butts!  I loved it, though.  When I got out of bed yesterday morning, it felt like every muscle in my body was throbbing.

Our trainer emailed me a workout routine for us to do in the off days when we're not with her, so yesterday, stiff and sore, I muscled through her work out again.  She told us to take Tuesday off from working out, so that we'll be rested up when we see her on Wednesday, but I may have to take today off.

It hurts to type.  LOL.  It hurts to sit in my chair.  We'll see how the day goes, but I will probably just push on through and get the work out in today and take tomorrow off.

Have you jump roped recently?  I don't know about you, but I find it extremely difficult and impossible to catch my breath.  LOL - I can't believe that was fun for me when I was younger.  She has us jumping rope, doing push ups, sit ups, and all these other kicks and punches, and on top of all that, 40 minutes of cardio each day.

I used muscles I hadn't used in a *long* time, and they are making noise now!

I should have blogged yesterday.  I started to, but I lose the oomf.  Yesterday I was down 2 more lbs for a total of 11 lbs in 2 days, bringing me down to 69 lbs to lose.  It was very exciting.  :)

Today, I'm up 6 lbs from yesterday.  Huh???  It's so annoying.  I think it's a combination of a few things:  I had to get up extra early today, so I weighed more than I did yesterday when I got up 3-4 hrs later than I did today, I most likely had too much sodium yesterday, I had some potatoes yesterday, and they make me bloated, and I'm just destined to be fat.  Just kidding on the last one, but seriously - I've been working out *so* hard, and I've been perfect with my eating - to see the scale jump that much in one day is completely annoying.

Anyway, I'm going to watch the sodium very closely today, and hopefully the 6 lbs will be gone tomorrow.  I've gained and lost these same lbs enough - can't I just move past this part?

Oh, and yesterday, I hit a lower number on the scale than I'd been in months.  I felt like I was finally getting somewhere!...until this morning...

For some reason, I didn't sleep well last night.  Knowing I had to get up extra early, I should have gone to bed earlier, but I'm too addicted to Dexter to not watch it, and I have to watch something after it so I don't have nightmares.  I was in bed by 11, but I was tossing and turning all night.  When I did fall asleep, I had really annoying, depressing dreams - so unlike me! 

I have major luggage under my eyes today, and I need some caffeine in a big way.  I have *so* much work to do, and I can't stay late today, because we have a lake association dinner tonight at 6ish, and I need to get my hour+ long work out in ahead of time. 

Today is a day I'd like to fast forward through.  I know I should treasure every day of my life, but today is one of the days that's the dig before you find the treasure.  :)

Sushi Sabotage

We had phenomenal sushi last night.  Well, I had 2 pieces.  I had planned to eat 3, but Stephanie ordered a delicious, fattening "ocean roll" which was crab and shrimp with a bunch of tempura mixed in, and all sorts of naughtiness, so even though one bite size is fairly small, I figured it counted for at least 2 pieces of sushi.  Since I had only budgeted 3 pieces in my journal, I stopped eating at that point.

I had a salad with oil free ginger dressing before the sushi came out, and I skipped out on the vegetable tempura, so all in all I think I did fine.  I requested the low sodium soy sauce, as I usually do, and I didn't think anything of using it.

Later last night, it occurred to me that I should have skipped the soy sauce altogether.  After all, we were eating at 7:30 PM which is a no-no to begin with - the last thing I need is to add is sodium at that hour!  Oh well, I'm still retraining myself, and there will be opporutnites for improvement along the way.  Even the type A's have a learning curve!  :)

After sushi, we went to the arcade.  I tried to pick the active things to do:  basketball, soccer, dance-dance-revolution, even skee ball is better than just standing in front of a machine, so that's how I spent the night.  Stephanie wanted to do the pedestal jousting, and Carolyn didn't, so I did it with her (pictures to be uploaded soon!). 

I can't tell you what a work out it is for us fatties!  I think it seriously gave me an asthma attack.  I don't know if it's because the gear weighs you down, or because you aren't on solid ground, but it's exhausting.  Stephanie and I were both ridiculously out of breath.  I can't wait to try it again when I've lost a good chunk of weight to see the difference.

So last night went as planned - I came home from work and had my protein/whole grain small snack that held me over quite well until our late (for me) dinner at 7:30.  I went to the gym, and I fought being there the whole time.  I was feeling so run down and tired - it took me 4 cardio machines to get my 35 minutes in.  LOL.  At the 20 minute mark, I really wanted to quit, but I told myself if I didn't get at least 30 minutes of intense cardio in, it doesn't count as a work out so I'd have to consider it my day off for the week, and I certainly wasn't willing to do that after already fighting to put 20 minutes in, so I kept on to the 35 minute mark. 

At our late dinner, I was careful to consume only 150 calories, so even though I had to eat late, I kept it to a minimum.  I was worried about the scale today.  The combination of eating after 7 and having soy sauce after 7 was worrying me that I was going to gain weight.  I know that weight fluctuates, but I've been trying *so* hard to eat perfectly, work out faithfully, incorporate more movement and exercise into my day...it's just too early for a set back.

Thankfully, my fears were not realized, and I was down 2 lbs today.  I'm down 9 lbs in 3 days, and I think the overall picture is looking good at this point.  So my goal was to lose 80 lbs by 8/12/10.  I'm down 9, and I have 71 to go.  I'm thinking I can make this work!

I'm *really* looking forward to my kickboxing training today.  I have a 1 hour workout scheduled with our new personal trainer, and I am looking forward to her kicking my butt and helping me to develop a daily workout regimen that will maximize my opportunity for weight loss. 

On the food front for today, I have designtated today as my one day this week that I can have empty calories within reason.  I still wouldn't want to exceed 1200 calories for my "high" day at this point, and I may not choose to have any, but I know that making yourself feel deprived is a recipe for disaster, so if I want to have a little treat, God love me, I can.  :)

My meal plan for today:
Caration Instant Breakfast shake with banana:  250 calories
3 oz beef, whole grain pilaf and salad for lunch:  300 calories
Veggies and hummus for afternoon snack:  70 calories
Vegetable rice with chicken for dinner (1 c rice, 3oz chicken):  350 calories

Total calories for the day (without empty calories so far):  970

There goes that number, creeping up!  Yesterday 930, today 970.  I'm working out for an hour today, so I think it will be fine, but I'm watching that scale!

Hungry!

My personal trainer asked me to bring in a food journal, which was no problem since I record everything in fitday. I just printed up the past 3 days (including today through the end of the day - even though the day isn't over yet, I know exactly what I'm going to eat, so I'm all set.)

On Wednesday, I think I was still full from over-eating the day before, so I was fine with my 660 calories. Yesterday, I stuck to 860, but I was hungry off and on, and especially a bit hungry at night. Today, I'm planning to consume 930 calories.

I seem to be moving in an upward direction. I'm wondering if my metabolism is making me hungry because of the work outs, or if today is just a hungrier day than the past two.

For breakfast, I had sugar free carnation instant breakfast. For snack, I had a banana, for lunch, I had a Kashi frozen meal. I've been hungry since 1:30. I just bought a diet coke to wake me up and hold me over. It's working a little bit. We aren't going to have dinner until 7 or later, so when I get home from work, I plan to have 2 oz of steak and 2 tablespoons of whole grain pilaf to hold me over. For dinner, I'll have 3 pieces of sushi and a salad with ginger (oil free) dressing.

As you can see, there are no empty calories in the mix, but still, I'm pressing up against 1000 calories for the day. I'm not going to worry about it just yet. We'll see how it goes when I step on the scale in the morning. If I'm losing by only eating essential foods when I feel hungry, I'll stick to that plan.

If I'm not losing, I'll know it's time for a fill!

Also, it took me 45 minutes to get through my lunch. I was full, but I kept eating it, slowly. I'm thinking that I should start splitting up my lunch into 2 smaller meals. Then I can probably make the food stretch longer. I'll let you know how that goes. :)

I have some weight to lose :)

I just looked at my weight chart on fitday for the past year. If I were measuring earnings, I would be in great shape, because they have been on the rise, my friends! :)

Sadly, I'm measuring weight, and my graph looks like I'm climing a mountain. There are all these ups and downs, but they hover around the same places-ish, and then there are month long gaps when apparently I didn't update my weight, and at the end of the breaks, I'm up at least 15 lbs each time. Then I start doing the daily weigh ins and the number goes down a bit, but then another lag in the weigh ins, another 15 lb spike, and we do the dance all over again.

Wasn't it George Santayana who said, "Those who cannot learn from history are doomed to repeat it?"

I need to study my past so I can learn from my past. I'll take on my pre-lap band past at another time, but for now, I'm going to focus on the past two years.

I was a model lap band student for a loooong time. I hit my lowest weight in August of last year. At the same time, I started getting really sick with my gallbladder issues. I couldn't work out, I was sedentary, I ended up eating whatever foods didn't make me sick, and they weren't always the healthy ones, and I started to gain.

I knew I was gaining, and I just tried to focus on getting well, and I knew that once I had my gallbladder removed and I healed, I could focus on losing weight again. Somehow during that time period, however, I lost some of the momentum on all the great habits I had adopted. I stopped working out regularly, I stopped following the lap band guidelines...three months later when I finally started up with fitday again, I had put on probably 15 lbs.

I injured my back falling down icy stairs, signed up with a personal trainer, injured it more, and ended up being very limited on my workout for months. I couldn't work out, but I needed to focus on the food. In an effort to find a new track to be on, since I had somehow landed off of mine, I joined WW. I followed WW for three months, and gained another 15 lbs (plus or minus other gains and losses along the way).

I've been off WW for months now, and I've had a hard time getting back to the place I was when I was so focuses and the stars were aligning - I was working out regularly, eating the way I was supposed to, and losing at a good, but healthy, clip.

Averaging the 1200 calories per day wasn't doing me any favors, and I think I really need to cut that back for now, at least until my body remembers how to lose weight again. I'm going to watch my nutrients very closely, and I can't imagine that if I get enough protein, carbs, and fats in every day for 600 or 800 calories, that filling in an extra 400-600 calories with extras is going to do my body any favors. I think that when they tell us to eat 1200 calories/day - it's based upon averages that tell us that we'll get in enough protein, carbs and fats/day if we consume 1200 calories. If we can do the same for less, why not?

I've been using my band again, and listening to it. I've been eating much more slowly, and it's taking me 30 minutes to get through dinner, the way it should. I'm not coating all my food with wetness to get it in faster, which was a bad habit I had developed along the way. I'm not choosing softer foods that give me less trouble either. All of those things work against the band.

Maybe I could use a fill, maybe not - I'm going to see how it goes with me listening to my band for a week or so. If I'm not having too much trouble dropping to 600-800 calories/day, then I think the thing must still be working, and it was me that was broken, not it.

I'm down another 3+ lbs today. I started my resurgence (again) this week with a decided 80 lbs to lose. I'm down 7. I have 73 to go. That's not so bad. :)

I'm sure to some people, that sounds like a lot, but to me, it sounds just fine. I know I can do it, and I'm hoping to do it by the arbitrary date of 8/12/10 as TJ predicts. :)

Bring it on

(Sorry - I work out of a different office on Fridays, and for some reason, this computer doesn't load blogger properly, so I can't add pictures or do anything fancy. Today's picture would have been a really cool one of a very muscular guy, horizontal with one leg extended toward a punching bag. It was a kickboxing photo for those of you in the cheap seats.)

I searched online for an experienced personal trainer, and I also looked for kickboxing classes - I heard they are an amazing cardiovascular work out. As luck would have it, I found a personal trainer who specializes in kickboxing and martial arts, and she does weight loss and cardio training as well.

I met with her last night, and I signed me and Darcy up for lessons starting tomorrow morning! I can already tell this is going to be more worthwhile than my last personal trainer experience. We start off by doing a fitness analysis - she'll see how many crunches, push ups, pull ups (maybe) that we can do, how fast we can run, and just get an overall idea of where we are physically.

After the physical assessment, we will start our first workout. I think this is going to be fun. They also teach martial arts at this gym, so we'll see how kickboxing goes, but I'm thinking I'd like to try karate next. For me, it's highly important to change up my workouts. I can never be one to go on a treadmill every single day, but I am willing to find ways to burn the same amount of calories (or hopefully much more) by changing it up and doing things that are fun for me.

She will give us workouts to do between our 2x/week sessions with her as well, and she's asked us to bring in our food logs for the past few days. I know she's going to tell me I need to eat more, but the last time I added to my calories because my trainer and weight watchers told me to, I gained all this weight, so I'm not inclined to listen to that kind of advice...I'll keep an open mind.

Yesterday I was at about 850 calories for the day. I felt hungry after my swimming, so I had a pickle, a few sugar free pop ice bars (10 calories each) and some tea. It took the edge off...certainly not fun food, though. :) I won't even let myself have the weight watchers treats right now, because I'm cutting out all empty calories.

I know I can't keep this up forever, and I may have one day a week when I let myself have empty calories (not to exceed a certain amount), but I want to make sure I'm on the right track first.

It's Friday night tonight - usually we go out for dinner or hang out with friends, maybe take in a movie (with a popcorn), but it's not an active night for me...that's for sure. Tonight we are going out for sushi with the girls, and I've asked them to go to the arcade after. I'm hoping to do some pedestal jousting, laser tag, rock wall climbing, etc... I'll get my workout in before dinner, but I'm just trying to incorporate as many active things as I can into my life to develop a more active lifestyle...I type with my knee tapping... :)

For tonight's workout, it will just be a boring date with the treadmill, but if my knee is cooperating, I may start off with the elliptical. OOoh.. fun. :) It's okay - I can look forward to my butt kicking kickboxing workout tomorrow AM while I'm bored to tears on the hamster wheel. :)

A wet work out

I don't know how I did it, but it's 8PM, and I'm done for the day.  I must be forgetting something.  I left work at 4:30, successfully avoided a killer on the loose one block away (sounds crazy, I know - check out the Union Leader), met with my new personal trainer (more on that later), came home and ate a healthy dinner, went to a nearby hotel and swam laps for 40 minutes, came home and did a bunch of homework, and now I can relax and watch tv (and yet, I'm writing to you).  :)

I loved the swim.  It was hard work swimming constantly for forty minutes!  I felt really good after.  I definitely plan to enter a regular agreement with the hotel so I can use the pool whenever I want.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, I'm really hungry.

Food, Glorious Food

I'm going back to my roots, and it's time to develop a meal plan for the next week.  We desperately need groceries, and I want to plan for success, so here goes:

Breakfast Options:
Sugar Free Carnation Instant Breakfast
Multigrain Cereal
Fruit

Lunch:
Leftovers
Kashi all-natural frozen dinners
Blakes organic frozen (mini) meals

Snacks:
Fruit
Veggies
Hummus
High fiber popcorn

Dinner:
Thursday - Teriyaki Steak with mixed veggies and TBD whole grain
Friday - Sushi and Salad with Oil free ginger dressing
Saturday - Vegetable "fried" brown rice with chicken
Sunday - Baked whole chicken with winter vegetable medley and salad
Monday - Chicken tacos
Tuesday - Chicken sausage and roasted vegetables with whole grain orzo
Wednesday - Dinner plans with friends, so probably some type of salad

I'm thankful for my Low Phat cooking blog, as it reminded me of meal ideas I hadn't had in a while!

What healthy meals will you be preparing this week?

The Biggest Loser

All the people I know who like and watch this show are thin.  I've never gotten into it, mainly because I hate reality TV, but on some level, I'm also annoyed by the unrealistic premise.  I'm not sure if this is a show that would actually motivate people to lose weight, since their methods and weight loss amounts are unattainable by most.

Making people work out for 6 hrs/day, taking tons of supplements and caffeine pills to "maximize" their workout and weight loss, and being in a cocoon cannot possibly teach the contestants, let alone the at home viewers, how to sustain long term weight loss.  It is no wonder that many of the contestants gain the weight back, and I can only imagine the shame they must feel and the lengths they must go to in order to hide their weight gain or the desperations they reach to keep the weight off...with the whole country looking.

Probably, as a big person, I don't like the fact that they lose so much weight so quickly as well.  I don't want my thinner counterparts to think there's something wrong with me because I only lose 1 or 2 or 5 lbs/week...that I'm not trying hard enough.  Call me crazy, but haven't there been about 4,000 studies that show the slower you lose the weight, the slower you will keep it off?  I don't think this is news, and it's the same thing that weight loss surgery candidates need to be wary of as well.  The faster you lose, the faster you can gain it back.

I decided to give this show a second shot - to see if I could learn something or find some motivation from it.  I had DVR'd Tuesday night's show, and I saw one of the contestants lose 15 lbs in one week, bringing his 6 week total to 87 lbs lost.  That's an average of 14.5 lbs lost each week.  Don't get me wrong, he's a big boy, but still, are we actually pretending that's healthy?  Am I just put off by all of this because I'm jealous?  LOL - maybe.  :)

As I tried to watch the show again, I was very put off by the reality show framing.  I can't stand reality TV shows, so I don't think I'll be able to get "into" watching this show weekly, but the one thing that struck me was the theme that they all pushed themselves so much harder when they had friends to work out with and a trainer pushing them.  That was the learning point for me.

I went to the gym last night, and I had kind of a lame workout.  I'm still not feeling my best, and I hadn't taken my thyroid meds in a week because I couldn't find them with the construction (I did find and take them this morning, Mom!!), and I was weak.  I also limited my calories to 660 yesterday, so perhaps that was part of it, but I honestly doubt it.  I still got 50 grams of protein in, and some good whole grains and fruits and veggies.

The last time I used the treadmill, I set it to 3.7, and I would spike it up from time to time.  My heart rate was between 140-160 which is just where it should be, and I did about 30 minutes.  Last night, my shins were killing me, my knees were wobbley, and I kept it set to 3.2, which is even lamer than 3.7.  From time to time, I would jog at 4.1 or 4.5, and at those points, my heart rate jumped to 140, but when I was at 3.2, it was down around 116 to 120 - completely lame.  My heart rate wasn't at all challenged, but I did manage to work up a decent sweat.  I put in 25 minutes on the treadmill and 10 minutes on the bike.  I wanted to do a lot more, but my body was just not functioning properly.

I did extra activity yesterday, like I talked about.  I didn't bob my knees up and down because it just didn't occur to me, but I made unscheduled trips to my car to get things I would normally wait to bring in the next day - I walked up and down all the aisles at home depot while I waited for my paint to be mixed - I went up and down the stairs at home each time I forgot something, rather than just deciding I didn't need it (LOL).

Yesterday morning, I had gained those 9 lbs back that I had just lost, since I fed my cold (far too much) on Monday and Tuesday.  That put me back at my all time high of 35 lbs above my lowest weight since banding.  Today, I was down 4 of those lbs.  I was disappointed, but then I remembered that when I gained those 9 lbs last week, it was for almost no reason at all, but when I gained those 9 lbs between Monday and Tuesday, I had done the actual damage with food.  I still have no reason to gain 9 lbs in 2 days, but my metabolism and body is completely messed up from the past few months of being crazy good and then sick and eating junk and then crazy good, and blah blah blah.  Now I just need to be crazy good.  JK - I just need to be good.

So after remembering the bad food I ate on Monday and Tuesday when I was sick, I remembered that this new 9 lbs wasn't water weight like last week, so 4 lbs in one day is perfectly respectable.  I'm not going to focus on the past few months or year.  I'm not going to constantly obsess about the fact that I'm re-losing the same weight over and over and over and over again.  I'm giving myself a clean slate.

The weight I weighed yesterday was my new high weight.  Forget all the weight I lost before.  That was forever ago.  TJ has predicted that I'll hit my goal weight by 8/12/10.  Where did this date come from?  I have absolutely no idea, but I'm hoping it's because he can tell the future.  :)  That would be cool to be at goal in 10 mos.  It's possible.  I have about 80 lbs to go to my realistic, attainable, sustainable goal weight.  8 lbs/month is on the high side, but if the biggest losers can lose 80 lbs in 6 weeks, I should be able to give it heck in 10 mos.

For yesterday, I cut out all empty calories, and it wasn't as hard as I thought.  I'm tapping my feet now...don't I look skinnier already?  ;-)

Portion Control

I had a working lunch with a colleague today.  I had my Kashi frozen meal (300 calories), and she had the smallest portion sizes I've ever seen in my life.  Her lunch consisted of one chicken wing, probably less than 1/4 cup of fried rice (she must have been having a naughty day!!) and a half cup of yogurt.  If you look at her lunch compared to mine, we probably had the same amount of calories.  Mine was healthier, and it will stay with me longer, but all I had was a frozen dinner, and still, she had about 1/3rd volume of food as I did.

I've seen her lunches before, and this wasn't an exception.  How do you get to the point where you require such a small amount of food?  She is very active, and I would say she's quite a healthy person.  Is that all we really need to eat to survive?

I've often heard we need 2000 calories/day to live, and that dieters shouldn't go below 1200 - 1500.  I also know that my MD told me that as long as I was getting in the right amount of nutrients, it was fine when I was eating 600-700 calories/day.  After all, I was getting in plenty of protein, veggies, fruits and grains.  Where did these numbers come from?  How little is too little?

I know a lot of it depends on how much you expend, and it's also a bad habit to eat too little volume if you can't sustain that level for life, because you'll just gain it back.  Still, though, have we just trained our bodies to feel like we need way more food than we really do?

I know all the literature in the US is hyperaware of eating disorders, but I'm just wondering if this 1200 calorie per day minimum is true or if it's nonsense.  1200/day certainly hasn't been doing me any favors.  LOL.  Couldn't it be that I've stored up enough energy that I can live off less for now??

Eh - we'll see.  It's just very interesting watching the habits of these thin creatures.  So far, I would say about 10% of the thin people I know/have observed embrace the healthy living eating habits I've been wired to embrace.  I'm not sure what that tells us, other than thin doesn't mean healthy, necessarily, but we already knew that...

Skinny makes the clothes look good

Brad Pitt is a cute boy, no matter what he's wearing.  I think we can all agree on that fact.  He doesn't always dress the best, though.  Last night, I saw him in the movie "The Mexican."  He had on dickies and t shirts the whole movie, but because he was so thin and in shape, every thing looked good hanging off his frame, even though the outfits were borderline janitorial.  

For us bigger folks to look good, the lighting has to be just right, the angle comes into play, the fabric has to be thick enough not to cling but not so thick that it bulks, the length has to end at just the right point, as to not draw unwanted attention to problem areas, the patterns need to work with us, not against, and the stars have to align for us to look good - if not, we end up looking like Kirstie Alley's tabloid photos.  It's not her fault - candid photos are not permitted for those of us with a BMI of greater than 25. 

I would love to look like Brad Pitt, but I don't think I'll ever be a thin person.  I think I will struggle with my weight for every day of my life, and I think if I'm lucky, I'll settle in somewhere around thick, but not lumpy, and that will be okay.  I've been given a lot of gifts, and being thin and fit just WASN'T one of them. 

However, to achieve my size 14-16 destiny, I'm going to need to work VERY hard every day...forever.  Fun!  LOL.  The lap band is not a get out of fat free card - it's a tool that can help me limit my portions, and it's also a tool that I can ignore.  It's a tool that will work for me for a limited amount of time, but probably not for longer than the first few years.  Once I get the weight off, it's up to me to keep it off.

I've gained all this weight back without even trying hard, and sticking to a 1200 calorie/day diet isn't really helping the weight come off too quickly...probably because I lost all the weight eating a 600-700 calorie/day diet.  I'm not eating double what I ate to lose the weight the first time - no *wonder* it's being so stubborn.  I talked to the MD about this yesterday, and she said I need to make up for the difference with exercise. 

She basically said that whether I eat 600 or 1200 calories/day, my fat cells will want to repopulate my body - they don't leave, they just shrink, and the only way I can keep the weight off is to work out HARD every day, or just about every day.  If I'm hiking for 30-45 mins at a good pace now, double that and push harder.  A little bit of pain is okay in my knees and my back, just be smart about it.  She recommended that I sign up with a personal trainer, which I think is a good idea.

The last trainer I had trained me right into an injury, so no more Planet Fitness 18 year old trainers for me.  I want to find someone who has done this for at least a decade.  We talked about everything I eat and the empty calories I consume.  Even if I'm generally sticking to 1200 calories/day, there are empty calories that I need to cut out for now.  She said that the hardest part to move past my (growing) plateau will be to re-lose all of the weight I gained back and get past my lowest point, but once I do that, the losing will get easier. 

I'm going to be very strict with myself for the next few weeks - cutting out empty calories, taking my vitamins, working out hard and trying to visualize a thin me.  She said that big people, even ones who are losing weight, are very different from thin people.  Big people (most often) are sedentary except when they are working out.  They watch TV more.  They sit at their desks without moving.  They think of ways to save energy, when they should be looking for ways to expend energy.  Thin people figit.  They sit at their desks and their tows tap, or their legs swing or their knees pop up and down - all of these things burn calories.  If I want to become a thin person, I need to try to mimick these habits.

She's right - TJ and I both multitask while watching TV.  I do it by working on my computer or blogging or working on a project while watching TV, and he irons and cleans and tidies.  I see the difference!  When I'm not feeling well or if I'm exhausted from working a long day, I can block out the housework I have to do and just veg out in front of the TV.  TJ is not able to do such a thing.  I can remember thinner times in my life where I was the same way.  Fat = lethargic = apathetic = fatter.

It's a cycle, and I need to look at this getting thin/ner thing in every area of my life.  It's not just a weight thing, it's a life thing.  I'm starting to get it...again...

MD Update

I have a sinus infection - I'll be on antibiotics soon, so hopefully I can't start feeling better soon.

Today

I'm down 9 lbs from 2 days ago. I think it was just a fluke, but an annoying one. I don't feel well still, any my house is in shambles. I think next week is going to be much better than this week. That's my prediction. :)

Yesterday

I had to work until 9 last night, so I didn't have dinner until I got home.  I can't believe I ate at 9:30 PM, and I was down 4 lbs from yesterday this am.  I never eat that late.

However, if I had eaten before 7 as I normally do, I probably would have been back down all the weight, seeing as though it was just some strange fluke of my idiotic metabolism.

Lanie asked about my thyroid, and I was wondering the same.  I can't imagine why else I would be so off, and in such a holding/gaining pattern for no reason.

I have an MD appointment next week, so hopefully I can address some of this stuff.  It took me 3 mos to get the appointment, so I'm hoping it's not just an intake appointment for them, because I have a laundry list of things I want to address.

I'm still not feeling well, but I haven't gotten full blown sick yet either, so I think that's a good thing...my house is in shambles with the construction and the rearranging of rooms, and there is no where to relax, which is annoying, but who has the time anyway?  ;-)

I'm thinking of taking a day off, but I don't think it makes sense to until the construction is done, and I'm not sure when that will be.  I better get back to work, because I have a full day, and then a ton of homework to do.

I hope you have a nice day.  :)

God wants me to be fat

That's what I'm starting to think.  LOL

I was in such a good groove, and I wasn't losing anything.  Then Darcy got sick, and I was super busy, so we didn't have any groceries.  I've been eating out for days now, which is never good, even with the right options. 

I've been feeling sick for the past few days/week or so, and I've been using too much salt because I can't taste anything.  I didn't weigh myself yesterday, but I weighed myself today and I was up 9 lbs since Monday.  LOL.  That is completely insane.

Completely.  It makes me want to throw in the towel.  I've reached a new high since losing all the weight, and I am up 35 lbs from my low point today.

I'm trying hard, I'm not losing, I'm gaining tons over tiny mistakes, and I feel like I'm just spinning my wheels.  I refuse to gain all my weight back, but I feel like my body is working against me.

I have an appointment with my new PCP next Wednesday, and I'm going to look into all of this with her.  I'm also going to have her refer me to an MD around here that can do a fill for me.

Honestly, I just really don't feel well.  I'm tired from being sick, even though I'm in bed by 9:30 each night.  My face/head is full of allergies.  I'm starting to get grumpy.  Can you imagine?  Me?  LOL. 

Don't read too much into this pathetic post.  I'll get over it as soon as I'm feeling better.  Let's just hope that is SOON.

:)

Non update

I'm not feeling well.  I have been fighting something off for over a week now, and it hasn't got the best of me yet, but I'm just really tired, run down, stuffed up, blah blah...  I'm having construction done at the house, so that makes everything worse for my breathing. 

I didn't work out last night, and once again, it didn't even occur to me, which is bad.  I got home from work feeling not so good, and then as the dust and construction particles were flowing into my lungs, I just wanted to get out of there.  Darcy and I went out to dinner and to a movie, and I went to bed as soon as I got home.

I felt so out of it when I got up today that I didn't even think to weigh myself, so you know there's something wrong at that point!  LOL

Anyway, per TJ's request, I leave you with this picture of Mario Lopez to get you through the day, and inspired to get into shape!  Lord knows you won't get that inspiration from me today.  ;-)

Oh boy...it's Monday again...

This weekend FLEW by.  I was highly productive, but I didn't really get a chance to rest or relax, and I enjoy my relaxation time very much, so Monday came far too soon for me.  It doesn't help that it's a holiday for a lot of other people...but not me. 

I am down 6 lbs from 2 weeks ago.  I wanted to be down more, but it is what it is.  I didn't eat much yesterday, but as a result, I'm starving today...which means I'll probably be up tomorrow.  That is my cycle.

I completely forgot to work out yesterday.  I was busy all day with Kerry's baby shower, furniture shopping, homework, etc..., and I didn't realize it until I had gotten into bed.  Oh well.  Today I'll make up for it...hopefully.

I'm not feeling great - I think I'm fighting something off.  I appear to have a fever, off and on, and I'm tired and stuffy and achy, but not full blown sick.  I hope I can avoid getting whatever Darcy had last week.  That did not look fun...at all...

I'm just going to keep plugging away, and look forward to getting thin and in shape.  That's my big plan.  I do still need to schedule a fill, but even though I haven't had one for a year, I do just fine sticking to my 1200 calories/day.  When I was getting fills regularly, I was more like 600-800/day...  it may not be a bad idea to try that again.  LOL

My new BFF

The formatting is off today, so no picture for you...so sorry. The picture *would* have been a tape measure. You will have to use your imagination.

For those of you who haven't had your coffee yet, the imagined symbolism is that the tape measure is my new BFF.

I feel like we're getting off to a rocky start on this one today. LOL

The scale is my arch enemy. I'm not even going to get into my tales from the scale this morning, but I will say that in my frustration, I had a moment of clarity.

I remembered that I took my measurements one month ago, and I decided to take them again. I have been tracking them in fitday, so it's easy to see if there are any changes.

There are like 8 different measurements (bicep, forearm, thigh, waist hips, etc...), and over all, I was down 8.5 inches. I was down 1-2 inches on average with most, but my waist and hips stayed the same, which is common with *problem* areas to always be the last to get the memo that we are GETTING IN SHAPE!!!

So even though I'm not speaking to the scale at this time (we're on a break), I'm really glad I thought to take my measurements both last month and today. That is what counts.

The hypochondriac

I'm terribly afraid that I caught hypochondria.  LOL

Everyone around me is sick, and I had the flu shot today, so I feel sick.  I'm not sure if it's psychosomatic, or if I'm really just fighting something off and feeling some side effects from the shot...

Hence, the hypochondria.

Either way, I feel completely exhausted and woozy.  Tonight may be a night I take off from working out.  I hate to do that, but if I need to rest, I need to rest.  Perhaps, if it's nice out, I'll just take a nice brisk walk as a happy medium.  I don't want to lose momentum.

Hmmmmm.............

The gods must hate me

There was no change in my weight today.  I know I was down 3 yesterday, but that was just down 3 from the 5 I was mysteriously up since Sunday.  I was good again.  I consumed 1100 calories, I didn't eat after 6PM, I went for a hike...why am I not losing?  Perhaps it's because I'm just not a loser.  LOL

I give up.  I'm throwing in the towel.  I'm just destined to be fat.

JK.

I'm no where near feeling like that, but it's not fun working hard and gaining.  Obviously. 

Let's review:  On Saturday, I saw a video of myself, and I knew I needed to immediately get to the gym and step up my work out efforts, use my lap band in a more constructive way, and just double or triple my motivation to lose weight.  I was already down 6 lbs from the previous Monday (when I was up from my birthday weekend), and I was hoping to lose 14 more lbs in the next two weeks.

I had a great workout, and by Sunday, I was down 7 lbs.  For the past 5 days, I have worked out (hard) every day, stayed under my 1200 calories/day maximum, reduced my sodium intake (dramatically), drank tons of water, and now I'm up 1 lb from Saturday (when this all started), and I'm up 2 lbs from Sunday.

So onward and upward I go, but I just hope I start losing before I get so frustrated that I lose the momentum I have now.  I need a carrot to chase.

God love me...

For some reason, I have always loved turkey legs.  I'm definitely a dark meat girl...my taste buds must just *know* that it's less healthy.  In dark meat's defense, it's not bad for you - it's just not as low cal and low fat as white meat.  For example, a 3.5 oz serving of white meat has 161 calories and 4 grams of fat.  The same sized portion of dark meat has 192 calories and 8 grams of fat.  It's only a little higher in calories, but it's twice the fat.

No wonder it tastes so much better!

:)

Since I have a pretty low fat diet, I'm certainly not going to worry about 4 grams of fat.  They have the same amount of protein, and dark meat is much higher in iron, which I'm short on, so my body must know what it's doing when it craves the dark meat!

I was trying to cook some healthy lunches, so I bought a 3 pack of turkey legs this week, and I cooked them last night.  For lunch, I'm having a small turkey leg with fresh green beans.  It's a very healthy and light lunch, and it's one that I thoroughly enjoy.  Very natural, low sodium, filling and good for me.

I am eating it with my office door closed, however, because I don't need my employees thinking I'm at King Richard's Fair!

In the palm of my hand...

Choosing joy is seeping into my Phatband blog today.....  I've been mildly annoyed that my weight is not cooperating with my efforts, and today, as TJ predicted, I was down 3 lbs.  I was slightly frustrated that I'm still up a few lbs from Sunday (since I've been such a good girl), but I decided to be happy with the results instead.  Perhaps it's just taking my body a few days to get rid of the pasta bloat - perhaps my body is building muscle from the workouts, and that's throwing the scale off...either way, unless there is something medically wrong with me that is making me gain weight, exercise and healthy, moderate eating will make the weight come off, and apparently I don't get to set the time schedule.

I still want to be down 14 lbs by 10/17.  I'm currently 16 lbs away from that goal - LOL.  While the scale is moving in the wrong direction, I have been moving in the right direction.  Each day I reach for healthy foods with moderate servings, and each day I make sure to work out, I get closer to building good habits.  I must say that healthy, moderate eating has been pretty much a habit all along (except when I made exceptions), but working out was the difficult habit, because of all the injuries.

I'm trying to learn from my mistakes, and so far, I'm injury free.  I certainly am sore, however!  I have really been getting into Wii boxing lately, and my arms and shoulders don't quite know what to make of it all.  There is a hotel near my house that does offer a monthly pool usage rental, and I am going to check that out.  It's a great cardio exercise (as long as the pace is strong!), and it's very easy on the joints.  While I still have a good deal of weight to lose, I need to remember that every extra lb is a liability for injury.  Swimming is a good exercise to throw into the mix.

I want to check it out tonight, but I don't think I'll have time with homework and stuff I need to do for my CD, but we'll see...  I would like to swim tonight for my workout...

4 for 4

Since I caught a glimpse of myself on video last Saturday, I have had a good work out four out of four days.  Tonight I tried again to get out of it.  My arms and legs were sore, I was so tired from allergies, my back still hurt (my boss is finally ordering my new chair!!!), and I was telling myself that one day of rest, from time to time, is okay...but I made myself do it, and I'm glad!

I always feel SO good after working out, and tonight was no exception.  I made myself do it, and I felt 1,000 times better after.  I have been forcing myself to work out hard and fast enough so that I sweat a lot (and yes, I know that's gross, sorry), and the endorphins released are awesome.  I feel energized and great after.

So that's my story.  I hope I remember the feeling I have now tomorrow night when I go through this little dance with myself again.

Getting nowhere fast

Yesterday I did a great job eating healthy, well rounded foods. I was under 1,100 calories for the day, and I got a good work out in...and yet, I was still up 5 lbs this morning. Maybe it wasn't the apple cider...

Last night, I had a small serving of fiber loaded spaghetti and my meat sauce for dinner. I was done eating by 6PM, and I didn't eat anything else for the rest of the night. I really thought I would be down those lbs today, and I'm surprised I wasn't.

I'm wondering if the problem was the pasta, rather than the cider. I measured out one cup of cooked spaghetti, and it was the healthy kind, and then I had it with the meat sauce I made. The sauce wasn't the healthiest sauce in the world, but in moderation, I figured it would be okay. After all, I put in all the calories for it on fitday, and I was still under my daily limit of 1200...

That must be it, though. I've been drinking plenty of water....I am going to skip the fiber in my dinner tonight, and just have a lean protein and veggies to try to get rid of the bloat. Cross your fingers!

Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee

I wanted to go hiking or kayaking tonight, but by the time I got home from work and had dinner, it was already dark out. I decided to work out with my Wii sports game, and it was actually a GREAT workout. I did several rounds of boxing (in addition to basketball, and a few other sports), and I wore myself out! The boxing was mainly arms, so it was great to know I can do a cardio workout with my arms because some days my legs are tired from hiking the day before, so it's a good option. :)

I know that sounds insane, but I sweat my butt off and was completely winded after several rounds. You get out what you put in to your workouts, and if you give your all, even Wii boxing can be a great workout.

I did fine with my eating today, and I had just under 1100 calories. I'm 3 for 3 (days in a row) with working out, and getting a good workout in, and it's feeling great.

Let's just hope I actually lose weight tomorrow.

The good, the bad, and the ugly

The good: Yesterday was a beautiful fall day in New England. I made a red sauce that was really more of a bolognese. I used 4 cheese italian sausage (out of casing), ground beef and pork ribs. The sauce was a little on the spicy side, and I loved the little hint of a kick that it had. I like to make a sauce that you can stand your spoon up in, and this one failed to disappoint!

I had a carnation instant breakfast for breakfast, a bit of popcorn as a snack, and a small plate of fiberific spaghetti with sauce (and a small piece of garlic bread). The meal was very filling (and I must say yummy), and I didn't eat anything else for the rest of the day. I consumed 874 calories of food, and I was quite pleased with myself.

After my nice hike with Henry, I relaxed in the hot tub for a bit, and then read a book on the hammock, under the colorful oak tree. When I was finished with that, I went into the house, and settled into a chair downstairs, and had some of the cider I had been brewing all day. It was delicious, and I had quite a nice little fall day.

The bad: While I only ate 874 calories of food yesterday, apparently I drank about 550 calories of cider. Oooooops. In my head, I was thinking it couldn't be that bad - I *never* drink sugary drinks, and I wasn't eating dinner, but I think the cider really bloated me quite a bit. I weighed myself before I went to bed and I was up 11 lbs from the morning. Can you believe how much my weight fluctuates? I swear, I'm a sponge for bloat.

This morning, I was up 5 lbs over yesterday. That is quite annoying since I've been so good, and I forced myself to go on a vigorous hike when I wasn't feeling well. I was so good about eating in moderation, but I think the pasta combined with the cider is just making me retain water. The bloat should be gone by tomorrow.

The ugly: Me! I went to bed around 10:30, and I was so tired that I had trouble falling asleep. When my alarm went off at 6:30 this morning, I was way too exhausted to get up. I changed it to go off at 7. I love working near my house, because I can get ready and get to work within 45 minutes of waking up.

I'm still fighting something off, or dealing with a reaction from the measles vaccine (or both). My face was completely puffy and allergy-rrific this morning, and my eyes looked like I'd been up crying for 3 days.

I brought some chemical filled diet coke with me today, because I have to wake up. I'm trying to keep my chemicals to less than 10% of what I consume, and the only chemical product I will consume today is a few glasses of diet coke. I don't want to get hooked on caffeine again, so I'm very cautious to use it sparingly. On days like these, however, it's really a must if I want to accomplish anything.

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Onward and Upward: Although I'm not feeling well, and I'm up 5 lbs for (almost) no reason, I know I need to work out that much more. I'd really like to go swimming today for my cardio. I don't think that's going to happen, though. We'll see - I just emailed Darcy to look into a few options for me, so fingers are crossed! If not, depending on the weather, I'll either go hiking or to the gym, or/and use my Wii personal trainer. I will get the work out in, no matter what.

I'm still being very careful with my knees because I can't afford the set back of another re-injury.

That's all for now! I'm hoping for a 6 lb loss (really a net 1 lb loss) for tomorrow!

You gotta do it

I only got 5 hours of sleep in last night, and I'm a little tired today. My back is bothering me (I think still from my terrible chair at work), so I'm just a little achy and slow moving. It actually turned into a beautiful fall day, and I made a nice big batch of red sauce, and I have spiced cider brewing in the crockpot. The house is filled with wonderful smells, and I'm relaxed in my oversized leather chair with my feet up, watching a movie. All I want to do next is lay on the hammock, underneath the beautiful fall leaves, reading a good book.

BUT I must work out. It's not a choice, it's a must. I've decided that today I'll go hiking for my workout. Now that the sun has decided to come out, I can enjoy the sights and sounds of autumn while getting my daily workout in. It's not quite as appealing as my hammock scenario, but I know it will be rewarding, and plus - I can read my book after!

I was down 1 more lb today. I miss the days of being down 3 lbs overnight, but I'm going to need 1 lb/day to get to 14 lbs in the next 2 weeks, so let's hope I can keep up the losing pattern. :)

A glimpse of me...

I saw a video of myself today, and it was HO-rrendous. In my defense, it was a 99 degree day, and so humid that clothes were sticking to every bump and lump, but there's no excuse for the horror that I saw. I knew I'd gained weight since last year, but I didn't know how bad it made me look. Just about all of the clothes still fit me, albeit tighter, so I didn't think there was as much of a difference, but boy was I wrong.

The problem with losing a ton of weight really fast, is that you gain it back really fast too. If an average person has a bad week for eating, they may gain a lb or two, but if I have a bad week eating, I gain 10-15 lbs...no exaggeration...and I'm not talking about a bad week like I used to have...I just mean a week where I'm not being overly health conscious.

As I mentioned before, I've managed to gain 20-30 lbs (depending on the day) over my lowest point, and it came back EASILY. In fact, as of last Monday, I was 32 lbs over my lowest point. To most, that sounds like a huge amount of weight (and it is), but for me, it's kind of surreal that I could have even gained that kind of weight eating the way I have. Anyway, it is what it is, and I need to face it head on.

Losing weight and focusing on my health has just jumped into FIRST place for all of my competing priorities. As I was watching the movie of myself, I immediately stopped what I was doing and went directly to the gym. I need to find that focus that I had when I first started this journey. I've developed too many bad habits, because I took my eye of the ball.

I stopped remembering to end my meal when I felt full, and started eating past my full point. I stopped waiting to drink liquids for 30 minutes after meal time, which made me feel hungry faster. I stopped using my lap band as a tool, and without even realizing it, found ways to eat around it...not to a huge extent either, but enough that I gained 30 lbs back!

Not having a fill, and not being able to exercise (due to multiple injuries and illnesses) really set me back this past year, but I'm starting fresh today. *Oddly,* today is the 2 year anniversary of my lap band surgery! As of this morning, I was down 6 lbs from last Monday, but I still have 26 to go to get to my low point.

I hesitate to set weight loss goals for myself because I don't want to be discouraged if I do everything right and don't hit them, but I'm going to anyway, because I'm very goal motivated, so here goes: I want to be down 14 lbs in 2 weeks from today. That will be a loss of 20 lbs in 3 weeks, which seems crazy, but when you think about how quickly I put it on, it's really not.

When you fluctuate huge amounts of weight, over and over, your body gets WAY too fast putting it back on, but it can also be used in the other direction as well, and I'm going to do everything I can to be down 14 lbs by 10/17. Then I'll just have 12 more lbs to go to get to my lowpoint, and I know the boost of losing 20 lbs will propel me to my low point again.

I'm going to take steps to be more conscious of my eating habits. I'm going to stop watching TV or working during meals. I want to be focused on the chewing, and the eating, and the point at which I get full. I will continue to count calories on fitday.com, and if 1200 calories/day isn't working for me, I'll consult a nutritionist to put a better plan in place.

As far as exercise goes, I'm going to push the cardio as much as I can. I often re-injure myself with weight training, and I have a lot of muscle mass to begin with. Also, I avoid cardio like the plague, and I need to embrace it, head on. I'm not going to melt the weight off without moving fast and sweating hard.

Today at the gym, I did 30 minutes on the treadmill. I can't really run or jog because of my knee problems, so I walked as fast as I could, constantly checking my heartbeat to make sure I was in the optimum zone, and that's where I stayed. Today, that was at the speed of 3.7 - not very impressive, as you avid treadmillers know, but it kept my heartbeat at 156, and much higher than that put me in the red zone. It was a great work out (for me). It was only 1.69 miles, but I was sweating, big time. It's hard for me to sweat, so I know it was working!

Also, it didn't bother my knees. I know I'm just going to get better. This is a starting point. Instead of the usual rap or opera that I listen to when I work out, I put on techno/dance music, and let me tell you - it made a big difference! I kept up to the pace of the beat, and the time went by pretty fast. I'm going to download a bunch of dance music to my iPod, so that I don't get bored with the selection.

I was really down on myself when I saw the movie, but I'm glad I used the experience for good. I'm really excited to start fresh with a renewed vigor. I also love the way exercise makes me feel, and my 30 minute cardio workout got my blood pumping! I'm going to workout with the Wii later on.

So for now, it's back to the basics, and I think the basics will serve me well!

Happy Medium :)

As you know by now, I'm not so good with moderation. Being an all or nothing gal can be my greatest strength and weakness in life. I know this, and I'm working on it. I've made progress in some ways, but I need to keep working at it.

When going all natural, if that is the only boundary I'm setting for myself, I can easily follow it. Everything has to be all natural. Period. I had a terrible headache all week, and I avoided taking pain killers because there were chemicals in them. Finally, on Wednesday night, I broke down and took 2 tylenol, at Darcy's insistence. She was sick of hearing me whine and watching me pout.

How very unsupportive of her. ;-)

Anyway, miss all or nothing was thrown for a loop by the tylenol. Suddenly my chemical free week was tarnished. It's those times that I get confused. Should I throw the baby out with the chemical free bath water? No! ...but it is tricky for me...

Yesterday, I was 90% chemical free, and I think that's how I'm going to live my life. It didn't take me the full week to figure out how I had to proceed, stepping out of my all or nothing mentality. Chemicals are bad to ingest. I think we all know this. In the past, I never hesitated to pop any pill that would cure my symptom, and if double worked better, I'd do double.

That's not a good thing. I'm not going to say I'll never take advil again, but I'm going to be more careful with it. There are other homeopathic remedies to ailments, and I'm going to try them out. Someone I work with said electrolytes can often make a headache go away, so next time I have one, I'll reach for an all natural, electrolyte infused beverage first. If that doesn't work, I'll move onto my gel filled tab goodness.

As far as food goes, I can afford to buy organic foods, chemical free fruits and veggies, grass fed beef, etc..., so I'm going to. It's a no brainer that these foods are better for me. Also, they taste WAY better. Darcy bought these all natural, organic ice cream sandwiches, and I thought I'd died and gone to dessert heaven...from a silly ice cream sandwich. Hood has never prompted such a reaction, let me tell you.

I didn't count calories this week - I ate whatever I wanted, in moderation, and just made sure it was chemical free. That's fine if I'm maintaining, but it's not going to work for dieting, so I'm going back to counting calories, AND eating chemical free, 90%. The exceptions will be eating out, going over friend's houses for dinner, and the occasional treat that I just have to have. That's okay. I'm pretty sure a sustainable 90% will be better than an impossible 100%.

So now I have to work twice as hard. Not only am I counting calories, but I'm limiting myself to all natural foods. It's a lot to take on, but if you think about it, it's a much more holistic approach. Eating chemical ridden foods that help me lose weight, is almost as unhealthy as taking diet pills or getting hooked on Jenny Craig. It's not sustainable long term, and it's not good for my body.

Maybe it will take a little longer to lose the weight since I can't take short cuts with 15 calorie bread or 1 calorie butter spray, but I will be make decisions that are better for my body and better for the earth. Next summer, I think I may even have a GARDEN in my future. Imagine? :)

Overall, I'm down 4 lbs this week, which is not bad since I wasn't counting calories. Technically, it's 4 lbs in 3 days, I think. It will be even better now that I'm back to fitday.com!

I haven't been feeling well, due to a likely reaction to my measles vaccination last week, and I've been sleeping a ton, but I think I am on the mend. I have a LOT I want to accomplish this weekend, and I know I need to make time to rest as well, because I need to get past this ... whatever it is.

Maybe if I'm feeling up to it, I can make time to go apple picking...I just need to find a pesticide free orchard. That is the challenge. :)

Be well!