Thursday, April 9, 2009

What are you craving?

I'm tired, a little sick still, PMSing, bloated and just feeling gross and fat. Yesterday, I emailed Alison that I was starving and craving a big list of food. She responded that she only craves losing weight now. LOL. I wanted to club her over the head with a giant turkey drumstick. Role reversals? ;-)

I know exactly what she means by that, though, and I felt like that many times throughout my journey...just not now. It's hard to feel like that when you're feeling fat, bloated, and on a terminal plateau. I read my charts yesterday from the MD, and I weigh a few lbs more now than I did last October. Ugh. I know I'm bouncing around the same weight, and sometimes I weigh a few lbs less than I weighed then, but other times I weigh a few lbs more...this is one long plateau.

I long for the feeling of craving being thin. I don't normally crave bad things in general, so that's not a big struggle for me, but just having the high that she's on is something I miss. I miss feeling like I'm doing all the right things, and everything is just coming together beautifully! That's just not the case.

I haven't been able to exercise regularly all year for a myriad of viable reasons, but that's just not helping me. I've been sick and sick and sick, and that's not helping either. I am going to get to the bottom of the reason I'm sick all the time. If it's due to the region, I'll move. If it's due to milk, I'll stop consuming it. If it's my cat - BUH - BYE!!!! (jk) I want to be well. I want to be on a high. I want to move past my plateau.

I'm going to find a PCP near me. My current PCP is an hour away. I'm going to address all the obstacles that are getting in the way of me exercising and losing weight and being healthy in general. Hopefully I can be a loser again soon!

On a positive note, I've been on a plateau for over six months, and I haven't gained over all. I've gone up and down, as I will always do, but I've stayed about the same. If nothing else, that is a good thing, and I'm glad!

5 comments:

Alison... said...

You call 3 items a big list? You've seen my craving list when I'm craving bad food, it does on for days...

I have never in my life craved losing weight over food and I hope it sticks!

Once you're passed your PMS, I'm sure you'll be down weight and craving weight loss over food as well.

Even though you're up a little, you're still down 160 which is freaking phemominal! and the fact that you've been able to keep it off despite your injuries, sicknesses and not being able to exercise... even more phenominal!

Alison... said...

I meant.. it GOES on for days.

Like I do

;-)

Alison... said...

past, not passed

I'm asleep today, what can I say?

Anonymous said...

You will break your plateau..no doubt about that.

I am sure you probably are allergic to NH. I know I am . It's all that plaid, and cow dung, and nicotine in the air up there.

Come down to Mass, we just have regular old pollution!!

Tnhen you won't need a new doctor as she is here

Carmen said...

I crave chocolate and peanut butter...ALL the time. It really is a problem and is also prohibiting the weight loss I was hoping to experience. So now that I finished that last bag of chocolate covered peanut butter pretzels (this morning, oh my I ate chocolate covered pretzels for breakfast!)...I promise I won't buy another bag....until I can fit in those stinkin' jeans. Seriously though, there are always going to be plateaus, you just need to stay the course. I just got back from Ohio where I was eating donuts everyday for breakfast and wondering why I say I'm trying to lose weight if that's what I eat. See? also, my sister-in-law who had her baby like 2 weeks after me can already fit into all her pre-baby clothes and although she wants to lose 10 pounds, her current weight is what I am trying to get to...bleck, gag, yuck, etc!