Holiday Weight Gain

I have read various reports claiming the average American gains anywhere from one to 10 lbs over the holidays.  I think the average thin person may gain 1 lb, and the average fat person probably gains 10.  My weight has been fluctuating a lot lately, but I'm up 4 lbs from the average place I've been recently, which means I'm only down 3 lbs from my more recent high weight.

I guess I should be thankful I didn't gain it all back.  Alison blogged about the fact that she lost control over the Thanksgiving holiday weekend.  I commented that I didn't lose control because I wasn't trying to maintain control.  LOL - I know that's not a good thing.

I ate whatever I wanted, and I didn't really give it much thought.  I don't know why that is - it wasn't a conscious thought...I think in my subconscious, I'm probably just discouraged because nothing I do seems to change my weight lately.

I was talking with someone at work about this today, and she has been doing great with eating healthy, exercise, losing weight, etc..., but over this past weekend, she completely fell back into her bad habits.  She was surprised at how quickly good habits just seem to FLY out the window.

Sadly, there's no surprise for me there.  I worked so hard to change my lifetime of bad habits when I got the lapband, and I made huge changes.  My instincts changed.  The way I thought about food and health changed...and now, 2 years later, my old habits creep back in more and more.

On the way to work, I thought about how at the beginning of this year, I wanted to focus on toning my body.  I was on a great track, and I figured the rest was just going to come off whenever it wanted, so I was going to focus on getting my body as fit as possible.

Rather than doing that, I gained 30 lbs, and let my bad habits back in.  It has been so hard to focus on my health when I've had so many competing priorities.  Between work and school and all of my other projects, I've found myself wondering if I should put my weight loss journey on hold while I focus on things I CAN control.

I don't want to do that, though, because I know that 30 will grow to 60 which will grow to 120, and then I'm just about back where I started.

NO THANK YOU.

The reason why I have so many good things going in my life right now is because I'm healthier than I've been in a long time.  I've lost weight so I'm free to travel and roam about the world.  I have more confidence in business settings because now I'm only regular fat, not cartoon fat.  I don't mind putting myself out there more recording CDs, or being on film for my documentary or my tv show because I've lose a big amount of weight.

I absolutely refuse to go back to the way my life was.  I don't know how I can fit it all in, but I do know I don't have a choice.  Yes, it is annoying when I work so hard and I don't see changes on the scale, but I know that is temporary.  Eventually my body will have to catch up with my actions, and I just need to stick with it to get to that point.

I am 77 lbs away from my goal.  I can do this.  I'm focusing on just today for now.  For today, I know I can make healthy choices and get my exercise in.  I'm not going to worry about tomorrow.  I'm taking it one day at a time.

I'm not going to gain 1 or 10 lbs over the holiday season.  I'm really hoping to be down 20 (from my high point) by the new year.  That will just give me 60 lbs to go to reach my 8/12/10 goal weight as TJ has predicted. 

Normally, I would think that was completely reasonable.  I have a month to lose 17 lbs.  The four that I'm up from last week will be easily gone in a day or two or three, so it's really only 13 lbs to lose in 4 weeks.  If I'm trying hard, that should be no problem.

However, as I've seen recently, my body is confused...probably from all the up and down action.  It doesn't know what to do, and I swear, it thinks I'm bluffing, so it hangs onto the weight, even when I'm perfect for weeks on end.

However, I'm going to push that out of my mind for now, and I'm going to use positive visualization to see the number on the scale as 20 lbs lower than my highest, and my clothes fitting 20 lbs better.  I'm going to envision myself making healthy choices and working out regularly as the lbs come off.

By next August, you won't recognize me.  :)