Hello Phatland!

6 weeks ago, I had decided to integrate all areas of my life into my Choosing Joy blog/project. I'm writing a book about choosing joy, and I thought I could use my blog to make sure I was constantly working on my book. Since being healthy in all ways is part of Choosing Joy, I thought I could combine my healthy living phatband blog into my choosing joy blog....maybe I can...but for now, I'm going to start updating my Phatband blog again...

I've been on a plateau for the past 9 months. I am gaining and losing the same weight over and over again. I haven't been trying as hard as I should. For a while, I was trying hard, but I wasn't losing, so I just slowly slipped into bad habits again...not nearly as bad as before the lap band, but bad still...

I stopped tracking my foods fanatically, I stopped weighing my serving sizes, I stopped leaving food on my plate when I was full or filled, I stopped monitoring my water intake after meals, I stopped working out regularly, I stopped getting fills, and apparently I stopped updating my blog that had been such a wonderful tool for me from day one.

I stopped having things to say about my weight loss every day, because it wasn't a focus for me. I felt like I had this piece of my life under control, and even if I didn't, it was old news, and I didn't have much to say.

I'm glad I took a break from phatband, because I think I needed to realize how far I'd strayed from all I had learned and from knowing what my focus needed to be.

It's been a crazy year for me. In the past 6 months, I've been to Atlanta, DC, San Diego, Plymouth NH, Palm Springs, Cape Cod, Portsmouth, NH, Ft. Lauderdale, Key West, NYC, Dubai...I've been on the road a lot! My routine has been destroyed. I work in many different offices, I have no predetermined schedule, I've probably been away from home as much as I've been home these past few months, and I've taken on oh, so many projects....

...There's the CD that I'm recording in a few weeks, the multiple books and articles I'm working on, the business I'm starting, the work I already have, the 5 or so blogs I update regularly, the tweeting...it never ends...

I need to sit myself down and get my priorities in order. When I was successful in my weight loss, it was when I made weight loss my number one priority. I needed to - it was life and death.

Now, it's just a matter of image, health somewhat, quality of life somewhat, and finishing something I started. All of the things that I was held back from due to my weight are no longer factors for me. I have as much endurance as my thinner friends. I am healthier than I've probably ever been. I can buy clothes in normal stores.

Yes, I'd love to be thin, but would I love that more than publishing the books or the CD or getting my business off the ground? I really don't know, and I don't want to have to pick. Obviously, I have maintenance down for the most part. For the first time in my life, I have pretty much maintained my weight for a long time, although it has been creeping up these past few weeks...but I know it will be right back down to my low point now that I'm back on track...

I need to find balance in my life. I probably can't do everything I want to do, and still enjoy my life, which is also important to me. My problem, and the thing that will always hold me back from greatness, is my inability to focus on one thing and do it well. If I put all my eggs in one basket, it would probably be a pretty fantastic basket, but I just can't do that. I have too many interests, and probably a very severe case of ADD.

I love music and art and nice things and charity and goodness and helping and the outdoors and success and thinking and reading and writing and singing and I don't want to ever have to give any of those things up for just one of them. I know that's a detriment to my ability to reach a really high peak in any one area, but maybe I was destined to be a Renaissance woman, and maybe that's my best life.

Either way, I probably need to narrow down my list of projects in order to find a healthier balance. It's hard - ever since I lost my job, I feel like I have found this freedom to do all the things I've ever wanted to do, and I'm worried that if/when I start working full time again, my window will be closed, but I can't let that happen.

For the next few weeks, I'm narrowing my focus down to 4 things (which grew from 2 when I first started writing the sentence): my CD, my weight loss, the work I already have, and growing my business.

I will only update my other blogs and work on my other projects if I am completely caught up in these four areas, and if I have nothing more relaxing to do at the time.

I will return to updating this blog daily, in an effort to ensure I'm focusing on healthy living and losing weight with as much focus as is due. Sometimes we can actually accomplish more by doing less.