Not myself

I am not feeling well for a ridiculous list of reasons: I hurt my back, my allergies are killing me, I have cramps, my ulnar tunnel syndrome is bothering me in my right arm, my upper abdomen is bothering me and I didn't sleep much at all last night because of those items, so I am exhausted.

I know, I hate a whiner too. I haven't lost any weight, and that's annoying me, but mainly just because I don't feel well, so everything is annoying me. Most of my problems are my own fault. I'm not taking my vitamins or iron because it hurts my stomach, I haven't been taking claritan for my allergies, I haven't been taking the antibiotics for my gallbladder, and I haven't taken any pain killers for my cramps, back or arm.

I hate taking pills, and they hurt my stomach, so I've just been avoiding them. I would have to take 10 pills today to address these issues, and that just seems too extreme. I feel like I don't eat enough food to coat my stomach as much as is needed for all those pills and vitamins.

I'm going to pull myself out of this funk, and eat a carby breakfast that will enable me to at least take some of the meds I'm supposed to, followed by a substantial lunch so that I can take the rest. I may even have some caffeine to give me a little jump start since I slept so poorly, but I doubt that. I felt sick all day yesterday too, and I don't want to do it two days in a row.

The thought of exercise tonight does not seem likely, but I know I'll feel better if I do (as long as it's nothing that will hurt my already annoying back and arm), so I think I'm going to force myself to do lower body at the gym tonight.

Prediction: tonight I will sleep well, tomorrow I will feel much better, and I will be down at least 1 lb.

Update from the MD

I met with a surgeon yesterday, and she just confirmed that I will need to have a HIDA scan to test my gallbladder function. It's a nuclear medicine test, in which dye is injected into my blood stream. A scanner tracks the dye and traces it throughout my liver, gallbladder, etc... It can tell whether or not there are any obstructions. I've heard it can be painful, and it lasts 2-4 hours, so I'm not exactly looking forward to it. This will be next Tuesday, and then I'll meet with the surgeon next Friday to determine how to proceed.

Trans fats

I read today that fast food chains are changing their recipes and cooking methods so that they can still serve food in NYC, where trans fats have been banned. Trans fats lead to high cholesterol and coronary disease, as we know, so they should be banned!

To ban them from your house, avoid the following common carriers:

• Spreads (margarine, especially, also shortening and butter unless otherwise labeled)
• Packaged foods (cake mixes, etc...)
• Inexpensive soups (Ramen ,etc...)
• Fast food (for now, at least)
• Frozen food (pies, pizza, etc...)
• Baked goods
• Cookies and cakes
• Donuts
• Cream filled cookies
• Pound cake

The best bet is to do your own baking, and read the labels when you buy the ingredients. Even a little amount of trans fat is bad for you, so it's best to just completely avoid it.

Happy eating!

Weekend update

This weekend was very busy with having company over and boating and cooking and schoolwork, it felt like it passed in 5 minutes, and now it's Monday again. I have my final exam tonight, and then this course will be done. I'll have 2 weeks off before my next two classes start, so that will be a nice break.

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I'm only scheduled to work Monday and Tuesday this week, but I think I'm going to work on Wednesday too because I've been so busy. Maybe I'll take next Monday off instead.

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I continue to get full quickly, and I'm loving it. I have to remind myself to eat now, and that's not something I EVER forget. I'm still the same weight, no more, no less. I'm hoping that I'll be down tomorrow now that the bloat seems to be gone.

That's all for now!

Yes, sadly, I really was that big

A number of my friends have commented to me that my before picture is actually a really bad picture of me, and I never looked that big. I'm not sure if that's because they are forgetting, or if it's because I carried myself in a way that took attention off the fact that I really was huge. I mean, it was obvious I was really really overweight, but people don't seem to remember how big I actually was. I found a few pictures that my sister sent me from her visit with my nephews last year. I was horrified when she mailed me these pictures, and I thought she must be crazy if she thought I wanted to witness myself that size, but now I'm really glad to have them!

The first picture is me with Ben:

This picture is me with Jack, and you can see me at another angle:

So yes, I really and truly was as big as my before picture. It wasn't just a bad photo day.

This is me today:

Obviously, I still have quite a ways to go, but it's a big difference so far. I'm not really wearing a complimentary shirt today either, but you get the idea.

I was bloated this past week. I was up 3-6 lbs from my lowest the entire week, and it was totally annoying. Today, the bloat is gone, and I'm at my lowest again, down 135. Hurray. I was starting to get concerned.

My fill appears to be working still. This morning I had 1.5 french fries from the poutine, one egg and a half a piece of dry rye. That was all I could do. It's nice to get full so quickly again - it's been so long!

I'm hoping with the bloat gone and the fill working, this next week will be another losing week. We will soon find out.

The weekend is here!

It seems like it's been a crazy week. I can't pinpoint why, but it probably has to do with the fact that work has been very busy this week, and it's the last week of my intensive nutrition course, and I have a research paper due Sunday and the final exam on Monday...that could have something to do with it...

I'm ready for the weekend, even though I'm going to be very busy with my chores and school work. I'm almost hoping that Sunday is a little overcast so that I won't feel so bad about sitting in the house doing homework. I don't want to ruin everyone else's weekends, though, so I'll stop almost hoping for that. ;-)

Yesterday I sold my old boat, and I went to check it out to make sure it was okay. I realized it had filled with rain water, so I used a bucket to get a bunch of it out, but that was taking forever, so I lifted it and propped it up to drain out the back. It was very heavy, and I ended up hurting my back - not too bad, but enough that I didn't feel terrible about skipping my work out last night when Jimmy stopped by and suggested a boat ride. When I hurt my back or neck, I take it easy, so that I'm only missing one day rather than getting a bad injury and missing weeks.

My fill seems to be working, although it may be too soon to know for sure. This morning I had some watermelon, and it was making me full. It's practically just water, so that's crazy. I found these cute little mini pitas at the grocery store. They are 3-4 inches in diameter, made by Joseph's, naturally. They are made of flax, oat bran and whole wheat flour. They are only 45 calories, 1 g fat, 4 g fiber and 5 g protein. They are the perfect size for me right now.

I had one with some hummus and tabouli, and it took me about 30 minutes to be able to finish it because I kept feeling full. It's nice to feel the band working again, let me tell you! :)

Jimmy told me to get rid of my band. He said I've lost enough weight, I eat healthy and exercise now, and I can lose the rest on my own, and not have some foreign device in my body. I'd wonder if he would say the same if I had a pacemaker and my heart was suddenly seeming to be fine.

LOL

I know I have worked hard for every lb I've dropped, but the band has enabled me to get there. Why would I want to take it out when it's working so well? The difference between me and the dieters who experience a 95-98% failure rate, is the fact that I have a surgical solution to my medical problem. Surgery isn't for everyone, and I would never say that it is. There are still people who lose weight through diet and exercise and they keep it off, and that's fantastic! I tried that, many times, and I experienced a 100% failure rate. It worked for a while, and I always gained it back and then some.

People have lots of different reasons for being overweight. For me, it was my immense hunger. It made me panicked. It made me make terrible decisions. The lap band dims my hunger, and enables me to make the right decisions. If I were an emotional eater, I don't think this would have been as great of a fit for me. It would still help, but for me, it's really just about all I needed. I don't think I had food issues that made me eat so much I nearly became immobile. I think I'm a glutton, always have been, and I overdo everything - food was no exception, especially with my ridiculous appetite.

Now I'm at the other extreme with healthy living, but I've found a balance. I know that I can't be absurdly strict with myself, or it won't work long term, so I eat bad foods sometimes, and I skip exercising to go on a boat sometimes. I'm working for progress, not perfection, and I am making progress because I am not holding myself accountable for perfection. Failure is a pretty bad motivator. That's why there is no failure in my plan. There's progress, learning experiences and common sense.

Meal Plan

Breakfast ideas for the week: healthy banana bread with yogurt, yogurt with Kashi, eggs + multigrain toast, tomato and low fat cheese omelet


Lunch ideas for the week: leftovers, hummus and tabouli on whole wheat 60 calorie pita, tuna on Joseph's tortilla wrap, hummus and cucumber wrap


Dinner Meal Plan:


Friday - Chicken tacos

Saturday - Grilled marinated chicken thighs with roasted vegetables

Sunday - Chicken sausage and vegetable pasta (recipe on lowphatcooking.blogspot.com)

Monday - Grilled pork chops with apple sauce and garden salad

Tuesday - Turkey kielbasa and grilled peppers and onions

Wednesday - Chicken stir fry

Thursday - Margarita Pita Pizzas

My dear friend red meat is clearly omitted from my meal plan. I am still on the grass fed beef band wagon, and I plan to take a trip to a local farm to pick up some meat eventually. I'd like to get a freezer for my garage so that I can buy it in bulk to save some money. I haven't worked out those details yet, so for now, I'm skipping out on the red meat. I just can't do it. I don't know if I'll never have corn fed beef again - I may have it if I'm at a restaurant or if someone is having me over for dinner (I won't be rude), and I don't think that 2-3 times/year is going to have an impact on me, but I don't plan on buying it myself. I used to eat red meat 2-3 times per week, so that would have had an impact.

As for the rest of the organic dilemma, I'm working on figuring out where I stand on all of this. You know I'll keep you posted.

Life is good.

Last night I climbed Rock Rimmon twice with the girls. It was Steph's first time, and she did awesome. She even ran up the steepest part. Sheesh. I thought I was good for getting out there and hiking - she puts me to shame!

After our great hike, we came back to the house, and Jimmy picked us up on the boat. The sunset was a-mazing. Again, my terrible camera phone didn't even come close to capturing the beauty and vibrant colors, but this will give you a little taste:

How can I not thank be thankful every day for my life?

Oops

You can't really tell from this picture because my camera phone is lame, but my hair is kind of orange. I usually highlight it myself because it's so much cheaper (but more because I have no patience to sit in a salon), and I do a fine job. Not as good as a salon, but fine. Well, this time, not so much. I left it in too long, and I didn't do a good job of color placement. I have huge chunks of orange amidst my other chunks of brown. Not attractive.

I feel like I'm going through puberty again. Nothing quite fits me right, my body is changing, I don't always recognize myself... I'm looking forward for all of the weight to be off. I love change, but it will be nice to have a little constant at that point. I can buy clothes that aren't disposable, or that aren't too small because I know they'll fit me soon enough, etc...

I hope by then I don't do stupid things like dye my hair orange. I hope that once I've worked so hard to lose all the weight and get my body in shape, I'll have enough pride in myself to wear nice clothes, and have good hair, and even upgrade the obligatory jewelry I must wear. Shoes - I'm going to get better shoes. I like the shoes I have on now, but they don't really go with my outfit. Also, both laces broke months ago, and I just tied them back together, so there's that.

I would like to start doing these things now, but it's silly because my outfits are so lame, so the rest is just downhill after that. I'll have to bide my time and do my best in the mean time. ;-)

Soup-er

I'm naughty. I couldn't figure out how to transport milk to Boston without it going bad on this hot day, and there is no where near the hospital that sells organic milk that's convenient for me to stop at on my way in, so I grabbed a can of healthy request chicken noodle soup. One can is two servings or 240 calories/5 grams of fat/14 grams of protein, so not too bad, except for all the sodium, of course.

I'm supposed to be on liquids, but this is something I would definitely eat in the mushy stage because everything is very soft and easy to swallow. I ate the whole can. It made me feel quite full, but I know of other bandsters that could never dream of eating that much in one sitting, especially after a fill.

Sometimes it takes a few weeks for me to feel the effects of the fills, but if that doesn't happen, I'll just schedule another one in a few weeks. I know my MD likes to wait 6 weeks between fills, but I also know that at this point, I know myself and I know my band, and I think they can trust me if I say I need a fill.

I postponed my most recent fill twice because I wasn't ready yet, so we'll see. I only have 5cc's right now in a 10cc band, so I have a ways to go.

Got fill?

I do. It's too soon to see if it's working yet. I forgot I had a fill last night, and I ate a pretzel. It went down just fine. As I've mentioned before, not all MDs have restrictions on eating after a fill, so it's not strange that the pretzel went down fine. Still, I'm going to be good and stay on the liquids while I'm supposed to.

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Yesterday I was up 6 lbs over my lowest last week. I'm totally bloated, and I was annoyed, because I wanted my MD to see what a good job I am doing, and it doesn't look as good up 6 lbs. His scale only showed me up 5 lbs from my lowest, which was still a 30 lb loss from my last fill, so that is good!

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I didn't meet with my MD, I met with the Nurse Practitioner, and she is very nice and supportive. She really encouraged me to come to the support group meetings, because she thinks it will be helpful to the bandsters who are struggling. I'm having success and I'm loving the band, and that's good for them to hear.

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I promised her I would, so I'm going to. If I can help motivate people who are struggling, that would be fantastic. I talked with two women in the waiting room yesterday, and they weren't seeing the results they wanted to with the band. I told them that I was banded in October, and I'm down 130 lbs (since I was up the water weight yesterday), and they couldn't believe it. They asked me how, and I told them the truth:

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I have had to rearrange my entire life to make healthy living my top priority. I work out faithfully, I do my best to plan my meals ahead of time, make time for grocery shopping, track everything I eat on fitday.com, and blog about it all every day. I spend an average of 2-3 hrs/day on healthy living. It's a lot of time, and a huge commitment, but it's the only way I've been able to be successful, and it's sooo worth it.

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Today I'm down 3 lbs from yesterday, but still up three from my lowest. I'm hoping the liquid diet will push me down the last 3 today. Cross your fingers for nice weather tonight. I really want to go hiking!

Tabouli revisited

I'm pretty sure I blogged about Tabouli a few months ago, but here I go again. It's one of those things I go through phases with. I think I get so excited to have it again that I overdo it, get bored with it, and forget about it. Well, it's back. I ran into tabouli at the grocery store last week, and I picked up some Cedar's Taboule Salad. It's just tomatoes, parsley, cracked wheat, red onions, lemon juice, olive oil and a little salt and spices.

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It's been helping me get out of my food funk that I was in. I'm probably going to overdo it again. I bought these whole wheat, flax oil, omega three pita wraps with 7 grams of protein and 6 grams of fiber (and only 60 calories!) by Joseph's - a new fave of mine, and I coated the pita with some garlic hummus and then spread tabloui on top. It was delish and totally nutrish.

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This morning, I had scrambled eggs with a little reduced fat cheddar and tabouli mixed in for breakfast. I had been avoiding scrambled eggs because they didn't go down so well, but the tabouli was just the right amount of moisture and flavor. For lunch, I had 6 reduced fat crackers topped with hummus and tabouli. I know, I know, I'm going overboard. That's what I do. We know this.

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I'm getting a fill this afternoon, so tonight will be an instant breakfast, as will all three meals tomorrow and Wednesday, and then breakfast and lunch on Friday. By Friday night, I'll be back in mushville, and I'll probably have tabouli and hummus on a pita, because that's soft. My MD is the only MD I've ever heard of who requires liquids for 3 days after a fill, and then mushies for the following two. Many other bandsters I've met eat soft foods the night of their fill, and they're back to solids the next day. I don't think it hurts to be cautious. I also think the liquid diet shrinks my appetite in combination with the fill, so it's all good, except for the liquid diet part.

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Last night it was too slippery to climb Rock Rimmon, so instead of going to the gym, I decided to utilize my time as effectively as possible by doing yardwork and chores around the house at an aerobic pace. I did that for about an hour, and I worked up quite a sweat, so I didn't feel bad for skipping the gym. I made sure I was moving constantly at a fast pace.

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I'd like to climb RR tonight (twice), so that's what I'll plan to do unless the weather doesn't cooperate.

Update from my Nutritionist

My meeting with my nutritionist went very well. I got clarification on what I'm supposed to be taking for daily vitamins, so that is a good thing. She couldn't believe how much weight I'd lost. She knew I'd had the lap band surgery, but she had to double check that I didn't have gastric bypass, because it's so unusual for a lap bandster to lose weight this quickly, I've learned.

She said I should really come to the monthly support groups so that people can hear my story and learn from the things that are working for me. She's right. I wish I lived closer. I will make an effort to go next month.

We talked about some ways to increase my iron intake and calcium. I told her I'm looking into the viability of going organic, and whether or not it's worth it for all foods or just some foods, etc... She's going to mail me some information that she thinks will be helpful, and I'm looking forward to that.

The weather is dreadful tonight, and I'm not looking forward to the commute amidst the thunderstorm. I have a feeling it's going to take forever. I have a test I need to take for school, and the link isn't available right now. I'm hoping it's posted soon so that I can get that over with.

Obviously, tonight will not be a Rock Rimmon night, but I plan to go to the gym.

Tonight is the last night before my fill, so I also plan to pick up some sugar free Carnation Instant Breakfasts and milk at the store. Fun!

The steeper trail? Sounds great!

As planned, Darcy and I headed over to Peterborough, NH this weekend to climb Pack Monadnock. When we arrived, the very friendly and helpful park representative recommended that we climb up the steep trail, because it has such nice views, and to take the easier trail down on the way back, for a cool down.


Great views? Steep climb? Why not?! It's great exercise with the reward of a feast for the eyes. What could be better than that? I think that my ease in climbing Rock Rimmon confused me into thinking I'm in great shape. As it turns out, I'm not.


The hike is about 3 miles, round trip. It was 82 degrees out, and I had a hat on and a backpack, both of which were generating a ridiculous amount of heat. My back and head were soaked by the time we were half way up. We took several breaks, and poor Darcy's face was as red as a beet.


We took turns taking pulls off my inhaler, as skinny minnie's flew past us. In our defense, we were the only phatties out there. Everyone else was in fantastic shape - seriously... *Everyone* we saw was fit as a fiddle. That must mean we will be soon too. ;-)


I'm not sure how long it took us, but I think it was about 2.5 hrs - not exactly record time, but it was 2.5 hrs of great exercise for us, and that's how I'm looking at it. We were so sore by the time we were done. While on the ride home, our sore muscles relaxed, and by the time we needed to vacate the vehicle, we were stiff!


As I mentioned last week, I HAD to take care of my lawn this weekend, so sore back and wet head (still), I mowed the lawn and washed the lawn chairs. After that, and about 5 bottles of water, we headed over to cupcake island with the girls. It was soooooooooo nice to be in the cool water, relaxing.


Yesterday, I was completely sore, and I didn't exercise. I was sore when I got up this AM, but three hours later, I'm not so bad. Tonight, if it's not raining, I'd like to climb Rock Rimmon twice. D and I need to build up our endurance for the longer weekend hikes, so that training starts today!


Over and out.

A terrible experience

I did it. I broke down and went to Market Basket, horror of all horrors. If you aren't familiar with the grocery store Market Basket, imagine your father's most hideous 70's tie, in the form of a supermarket. That's right. It's ugly, dusty, totally outdated and should have been thrown away decades ago.

I avoid Market Basket like the plague. I gladly spend more money to shop in a cleaner, prettier store. As I mentioned, however, I'm going to try to eat great foods without breaking the bank. I stopped at Market Basket on the way home from work on Friday (mistake - it was full of people, seeming to be straight from an 80's zombie flick), and I purchased all the items needed for my current meal plan. I spent $50, and I *know* it would have been $80 or $90 if I went to one of my usual stores.

Part skim mozz cheese was $2.99. I usually pay $4.99 or $5.99. The salsa I bought was also $2.99, and I usually pay $4.99 for the same brand. I purchased a whole cooked chicken for $3.99. I can't get them raw for less than $7 normally. I could go on with more examples, but you get the idea.

Sadly, I think I've concluded that I would shop there again to save that kind of money. With gas prices as they are, and the economy as it is, we all need to find ways to trim the fat. This is my first step, and I don't like it.

Meal Plan

Friday

Breakfast - I had part of a grilled chicken salad

Lunch - I had more of the same grilled chicken salad

Dinner - Chicken Tacos with homemade salsa

Saturday

Breakfast - 2 eggs, 1 slice of dry rye, fruit cup

Lunch - dining out after climbing Pack Monadnock

Dinner - Whole grain pita Margarita Pizza

Sunday

Breakfast - Cereal with fruit

Lunch - Tuna wrap with carrots and celery

Dinner - Lean pork shoulder with roasted vegetables

Monday

Breakfast - Healthy banana bread, yogurt

Lunch - leftover pork and veggies

Dinner - Asian chicken salad

Tuesday

Breakfast -Banana bread, yogurt

Lunch - leftover pork and veggies

******

That's a wrap for now. I'm having a fill Tuesday night, so I won't be back to eating normal until next weekend.

You little Muffin!

Muffin devil, I should say!

I was in a training session all morning, and the hosts were kind enough to provide a spread of coffee, OJ, muffins, bagels and fruit salad. They were not the ones who prepared the items, so this is not a criticism of them, but of course, the only thing I could eat was the fruit salad and the pineapple was brown, the melons were mushy, and the grapes were dicey as well. I tried to pick through a pathetic pile of fruit to find a few live ones, but it was not meant to be.

The training session lasted three hours, and I was across from the plate of muffins the entire time. Those puppies had just come out of the oven, and they did not share the same fate as the fruit cup. The scent of those fresh muffins wafted up to my nose, and I was obsessing over them throughout the meeting.

There was one little darling in particular, blueberry, that was the most delicious looking muffin I'd ever seen. She was lopsided and her top was still a bit doughy from not quite cooking all the way through - JUST how I love them. She had a few sugar crystals forming a crown a top her golden head, and she was taunting me to consume her.

I abstained, but I was reminded of a quote that I keep seeing everywhere lately, including the very fabulous blog, Dining Well by my sister:

One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well.

-Virginia Woolf

At the beginning of this journey, I did a better job trying to come up with creative ways to make my healthy food as delicious as possible. I think I've gotten lazy with that. Yesterday, I literally choked down my organic yogurt (gag) with my Kashi twig cereal (made with actual twigs, I think). I ate it because it was the right thing to do, and because it is good for me.

There is a fine line between putting too much emphasis on food and the need to enjoy it, and just seeing food as an obligation to fuel our bodies as wisely as possible. That's not true. Those are totally separate. For me, however, it's a fine line. We phatties have to be very careful about this. If we go to one extreme, we end up dissatisfied with our eating choices, although they may be healthy. The other extreme leads to obesity, and that's not such a good thing either.

I've been so busy being active, working, school, house stuff, social life, chores, etc... I have gotten away from making delicious food a priority for me. A quick recipe for weight loss disaster is to bore yourself to tears with food options that you can barely stomach, until you get to the point that all you crave are naughty things because you feel cheated.

I'm going to address this immediately with my meal plan that will soon follow. Dining well is expensive, so I'm going to try to be creative and frugal at the same time. Yes, me - frugal. We'll see how this goes.

I can eat an entire club sandwich

I went out to lunch with Darcy today while she brought her car for an inspection, and there were not many options on the menu. The mechanic was nice enough to drop us off at the closest restaurant, that was a little over a mile away. I ended up getting a turkey club on rye. I ate 1/4 of it at first, and I was full.

I suggested that we walk back to the car to get some exercise, so we did. It was a little warm, but it was a nice walk. By the time we got back to the car, I was ready for the next quarter of my sandwich, and I ate that on the way back to my office.

Once back to my office, I ate the other half. Now I'm feeling a little full, but not too bad. I must be very ready for my fill next Tuesday.

I finally loaded my Monday - Sunday pill box, and I just took 2 vitamins and an iron pill, figuring my stomach must be VERY full, and ready to handle all that.

Wrong.

It's making me totally sick to my stomach...and you people wonder why I hate taking them! :)

Apparently, I should spread them out a bit more. Duh. I knew that, and I've been told that. Step 2 on my to do list is making a meal plan for the rest of the week, so I'll give that some thought...

Tonight, I plan to climb Rock Rimmon before going on a boat ride. I want to climb Pack Monadnock with D on Sat AM, so this will be a nice warm up!

I'm a winner AND a loser

Winner

Last night I received the H. Michael Boyd Excellence in Employment award. The award was granted by an independent HR organization, the Association of Employment Professionals. It was a great honor to be recognized for my work in the field of employment, and I didn't know that winning would make me feel as good as it did until I actually won.

I knew I was a nominee for the Boyd award, which meant I won an entry level award to begin with, but I was very surprised when I found out that I won the big award too! Tom nominated me, and wrote a beautiful nomination. I was amazed by his accolades, and I felt so bad for him as he read my nomination, because he was so sick, and he was having trouble speaking. Thank you so much!

Before losing weight, I never in a a million years would have agreed to go to an event like this, where I may or may not have to give a speech, where I may go and not win, where I may go and win and have to be on stage and have my picture taken a million times, etc... I wouldn't put myself out there like that. At the time, I wouldn't have known/admitted that it was because I hated the way I looked, but looking back, I know that is the case. (By the way, the photo shoot lasted about 20 minutes!)

Loser

I lost Carmen! Today, I'm down a total of 135 lbs. I'm totally excited about that! My goal was to be down Carmen by July 2nd, and it's June 19th, so I'm about 2 weeks ahead of schedule!

Next stop: Kristina! (more info to follow) I haven't heard from our dear Kristina in a while...are you still there??? :)

I plan to lose Kristina (146 lbs) by July 24th. Originally, my goal was to be down 150 by September/October, so if I'm on track to lose Kristina by July 24th, I will *really* be ahead of schedule.

Thank you

Thank you for the support, and thank you Kitty for all the great breakfast ideas. Breakfast is going to continue to be a struggle for me, but I may just decide to have dinner for breakfast. Dinfast. Brinner. We'll see.

I feel like Kobayashi

Seriously. That guy is a bottomless pit, as am I today. I am glad I'm getting a fill next week. I think I've lost weight around my band, and it's loosening as a result. Either that, or it's just a really hungry day for me.

Today I had Cheerios for breakfast at 6:30, a breakfast bar as a snack at 10:30, a lean pocket at 12, an orange at 12:30, another lean pocket at 1 (which was supposed to be my dinner), and now it's 1:30, and I've already reached my calorie max for the day.

Nice goin', kid.

Remember when I struggled to get in 700 calories per day? Ha! Those days are gone. This week I'm averaging 1026 calories per day, which is completely fine and in my range, but it's a new experience for me.

I'm getting bored with the foods I've been eating, I think. I need to brainstorm around new choices for breakfast. Lunch is always good for leftovers, but I suppose you have to cook dinner to create the leftovers... Once again, I need to go to the grocery store, and I need a meal plan for the week.

As I mentioned in my post last night, I have fallen out of my routine, but that's all going to change. I think...hope...

No, who am I kidding. I don't need to think or hope, I just need to plan! It's easier said than done when I've been feeling so exhausted this week. I probably need to take my iron again. I haven't taken it in a while, so that's probably part of this. Fine.

Two of my devoted blog groupies bought me one of those Sunday through Saturday pill things (thanks Mom and Dad!), so I'm going to fill that tonight. That's step one. Tomorrow I'm going to make a meal plan for the rest of the week. Step two.

Celtic Pride

What an amazing time it is for sports in New England! The Celtics just won their 17th title, after 22 years of bad luck and disappointment.

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I was a huge fan of the 80's Celtics. Of course I was only 9 or 10 when they won their 16th title in 1986, but that didn't stop me from making a big "Go Celts!" banner and running to the bottom of the road, getting cars to honk at me when they drove by.

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My sister and I composed a very poignant ditty, to the tune of "America the Beautiful," and there were our lyrics:

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Oh Beautiful, for Celtic Pride

For Larry Bird and Co.

For Boston Garden's Majesty

Above the hockey rink

They were the '84 champions

Their 15th one at that (Alternative line: They missed in '85)

But you can bet

Just watch, and see

They'll win in '86

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What talent we had... LOL.

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We sang this song, and another '85 Celtics song, constantly. I'm not sure how we learned the other song...we must have taped the TV show that featured the song, but I still remember the words, as I knew them then. I probably had some of them wrong! I wish I knew who composed the song, so I could give credit:

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Well did you every go down to the city of beans

Where the teams' got a city, and a city's got a team

Out on the court, the cutters are green

They got some guys, that can really scream

From the fast break to the 3 point play

Take it coast to coast, or steal the ball away

From the turn-around jumper to the cross court pass

They can handle the ball, they got nothin' but class

Cause we've got Celtic Pride

We're feelin' the green way deep inside of us

Celtic Pride, we're gonna get it back a-one more time, one more time...

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Perhaps the author of that song shouldn't have been so specific with the one more time thing...maybe then we wouldn't have had to wait 22 years!

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We used to go to the games fairly frequently, and my first cabbage patch kid (Arthur Wade) had a Larry Bird uniform that he would wear to the games. Sometimes we got to sit in the second row, and I would hold up my Cabbage Patch Larry for the team to see. Larry gave me the thumbs up once when he saw him. I thought I had reached the high point in my life.

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The Celtics were a force to be reckoned with, and then their luck came crashing down. They were met with tragedy and death, injury, retirement, all too soon to recover from. For two decades now, they have been trying to rebuild the team that was once great, and they have succeeded!

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When we fall down, or hit low points in our life, sometimes we want to be able to get right back up to that high point immediately, but that's almost always impossible. Getting back on track takes time, planning, conviction, and a whole lot of heart.

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I was so ready to start living healthy by the time I had my surgery, and I would have loved to have lost all the weight over night, but I would have missed the most important part of the journey: the learning that goes along with figuring up how to get back up. I know someday I will reach my victory point, and I will cherish it. I plan to use the tools I have developed along to way to transform my victory into the reality of my life, one day at a time.

Last day with Mom

My Mom flies out tomorrow AM, and we were hoping to spend the day at Rockport today, but since I was sick yesterday, I was too behind with work, but I made time to have lunch with her at our local Brazilian Steakhouse. She had never been to one before, and she thought it was fabulous! It's kind of a waste for me since I'm banded, but I got to try lots of different meats, and it was fun! Two bites into my flank steak, I remembered that I wasn't planning on eating corn fed beef. Duh. I had a little more, but I really need to figure out what I'm going to do about eating. I have more research to do before deciding how to proceed, but either way, I hate the idea of eating regular beef now.

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I am still tired from my night of missed sleep, and possibly being in pain for so long, and today I was lagging. The allergies didn't help. My body is sore, and I'm not sure why. My Mom wanted me to take it easy today, so I complied and I didn't go to the gym as planned. I should wait until I'm feeling better. I know. We went for a walk along the water, and it was really nice!

I will miss not having my Mom and Dad up here with me, but I know they love their new life in the South, and I'm happy for them. :) We had a great visit.

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Between my crazy work schedule, my intensive class for school, and visiting with my folks, I have fallen behind in my house work. My lawn is covered with lawn toupee's that fell from our tree, the grass is almost a foot tall (it took 2 weeks to get there), my outdoor chairs and tables are covered with tree droppings as well, and I have some major clean up to do this weekend. I also want to start planting grass or soon it will be August and too late. It's causing me anxiety to have such a lousy yard right now, and I'm looking forward to fixing it.

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I had planned to take care of it on Sunday or Monday, but my gallbladder had a different plan. I just feel bad that it looked so lousy on my Mom's last day. Even though I have more energy, it still seems like I can never ever keep up with everything I need to. I need to work on a new routine that will help me fit it all in. I don't like to ever be behind with anything. I may need to cut out sleep, but it will be worth it.

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Cross your fingers that I lose Carmen this week. That would be super!

New way to start my day

I'm sick of the lousy meal replacement bars that I've had lately, and eggs are getting more difficult to eat (not that I would want to eat eggs every day), so lately I've been having Cheerios for breakfast. I used to love Cheerios, and I stopped eating cereal when I discovered I was lactose intolerant about 10 years ago. I think I outgrew that allergy, and now I'm not having any trouble.

It's not the best source of fiber or anything, but I like them, and the milk is good for protein and calcium (which I do not get enough of), so what the heck! I'm in search of new ideas for breakfast foods. I'm not wild about sweet things, so that limits me.

Thank you for all the well wishes, I'm feeling much better. I will keep you posted as I learn more from my test. My lap band surgeon performs surgery to remove gallbladders as well, so if it gets to that point, I'm going through him for sure.

I haven't exercised in two days because I wasn't feeling well, but today I will make the time. It's a busy day for me, so I'm not sure what I'll do, but it will be something! :)

I'm down another 2 lbs today for a total of 133 lbs lost...forever! 2 more lbs and Carmen is GONE!

Oh What a Night

Hey - at least I got this cool bracelet!

Friday night, I was doubled over in pain twice, but it only lasted for 15 minutes each time. I thought it was some kind of crazy gas trapped in my upper abdomen. Saturday morning, I had the same pain, only it wasn't as severe. I didn't know what the problem was. Last night around 9, I started having a similar pain, only much worse, and I realized it was the same pain I'd had a few weeks ago, when I thought I was having a gallbladder attack.

At first it was really severe, but then it got to be less severe, and I was hoping it would go away. I tried to go to bed after 2 hours, but I couldn't sleep. It was getting worse again, which concerned me since all the other times, it would start off worse and then slowly get better. D and I headed to the ER. 1 in the morning on a Monday morning is a good time to go - it was like a ghost town in there.

They ran a bunch of standard blood tests, as well as an abdominal ultrasound. I don't have gallstones, but there was thickening of my gallbladder wall found on the ultrasound, which could mean I have a gallbladder problem (disease) without stones. In order to confirm this, I will need to have a HIDA scan, which is a nuclear medicine test that tracks the gallbladder function through a dye injected into my blood stream. Unfortunately, I can't get an appointment until 6/30, and that's just for the consultation. I'm going to call around, because 4 attacks (one major) in one weekend is not a good sign.

I'm on antibiotics for now, and I have some pain meds should I need them. I'm just hoping I don't get another attack, but that's doubtful.

We got home from the ER at 4:30 am, and were asleep by 5. Today is a tired day. I'm feeling better, but my body is tired, and my stomach isn't quite right. I'm up 3 lbs today, but I'm sure it's water weight from the IV I was on last night. That always happens.

Beach bound

We had such a nice visit at the beach with my Mom, our dear family friend Linda, and my Aunt Tina. I went for a walk to Nubble light, and Long Sands beach, and back to Short Sands beach, and it was refreshing and beautiful to walk along side the water (and all of my future homes!). It was about 2.7 miles. My Mom and I walked the beach looking for sand dollars, and we rode the waves on our noodles too! I was very proud of her.


The water was freezing, as you can imagine (Maine ocean in JUNE), but thankfully we were numb from it, so we were fine. The waves kept knocking my poor mother over, but she was a great sport! After that, we walked into town and looked around for a bit.


We had dinner at the York Harbor Inn, which is a really nice restaurant with fantastic ambiance. I hadn't been there since just before my sisters wedding with her bridal team. (I refuse to say bridesmaids...LOL) After that, we headed over to Brown's for 99% fat free frozen yogurt, in an attempt to watch the sun set, but we just missed it. We drove over to Nubble Light and stared out across the expanse of water to one of America's most beloved lighthouses. My Mom told Darcy the story of how when a family used to live there, many years ago, they would send their son to school in a little box, hung from cables, to get him to land from their small island. I wish they gave tours. I think it would be fascinating.


Today I'm down just about all of the water weight from yesterday. I'm glad, considering we had a late dinner followed by dessert! :)

Fit Smart Bar

I didn't have my yogurt/Kashi breakfast as planned. I have a lot of running around to do today to prepare for our off site tomorrow, so as I was heading to BJ's, I decided I'd stop by the gym on the way, and I grabbed a Fit Smart bar for the road.

It was totally bogus. This is another bar that I got at the health foods store last week. It's chemical free, which is nice, but it's disgusting. The main ingredient is dates, and it tastes like a bitter, chewed up mushy date with sour unsweetened chocolate trying to mask it's nastiness.

I do not recommend this product. ;-)

For lunch, I had the chemical free ham and cheese on a Joseph's tortilla wrap, and it was very good.

D and I are going up to Maine tonight to have dinner with my Mom at the beach. All of the restaurants she listed off to me sounded like seafood restaurants (which makes sense since we'll be at the ocean!), but I need to figure out what I can have that's not too bad for me. I'd like to have some seafood that local fishermen have caught. Too bad I'm not crazy about seafood. We'll see...

My elbow started bothering me again when I was working out, so I only did a few things:

(3 sets/8 reps)

• Back ext (210 lbs)
• Arm curl (30/35/40 lbs)
• Arm ext (50 lbs)
• Overhead press (30/50 lbs)
• Lat pull down (90/110 lbs)
• Row/rear delt (90 lbs)

Incredible Hulk Training Update

I originally planned to schedule my personal training session with Lou Ferrigno for May, but the month was too busy, and now summer has arrived. My plan, to reward myself for losing Carmen (135 lbs) and Kristina (146 lbs) was to visit them in California. I plan to reach 146 by September, which is also my birthday month, so my new plan is to fly to LA, have 1-2 training sessions with the hulk, rent a convertible, and drive up PCH to the bay area where I can visit the girls and Napa Valley and San Fran, and just fly home from there.

The tickets are now about $400/each, which is twice as much as they were in May, but I'm going to keep an eye on them to see if they get any cheaper.

Quick Update

For exercise yesterday, I kayaked. My arm was feeling better, thankfully. Today I'll go to the gym, and I'm visiting my Mom at the beach tonight, so hopefully we we be able to walk along the beach, and maybe even climb the rocks!

My AC isn't working very well, and I woke up drenched in sweat. Niiiice. I was up 6 lbs today over yesterday. LOL - I know I'm not actually "up" 6 lbs, as I only ate 700 calories yesterday, but this water weight is weighing me down. It's absolutely ridiculous that my weight can fluctuate THAT much in one day.

I'm sure once I drink some water, I'll "lose" that weight later on in the day...it's just annoying. Again, this is my no-loss week. I think I've been on this losing week/non-losing week rotation for about two months now. It's very strange, but whatever works.

Scottish Highlander cattle

My steak was reared at the Miles Smith Farm, in Louden, NH. If I buy my steak from them directly, I can save $4/lb! That is great news, because I love it!

As I learned from their web site, this particular breed is Scottish Highlander cattle. Highland Cattle are originally from Northern Scotland, and they are one of the oldest beef breeds. They have evolved to produce naturally lean and tender beef without hormones or growth stimulants. They used to be bred as the "King's Cattle," but I'm glad we all can have some now!

Grass fed beef, organic dinner

Here is a picture of my organic dinner. That plate is not quite a full sized plate - I bought smaller plates to use when I was banded, so that I would psychologically feel as though I was eating more. The grass fed Delmonico steak was fantastic! It may be in my head, but this meal tasted much fresher than the food I usually eat.


That could be because it IS much fresher, or maybe I'm just projecting my expectations onto my palate, although Darcy agreed that it was fabulous and some of the best beef she's ever had in her life. (Did you know that some produce at your local supermarket may be as old as 10 months?? At that point, there would be virtually no nutritional value left. The wax they coat the produce with enables it to look fresh for nearly a year, when in fact it's been dying just as long!) The produce at the market I visited today was picked as late as last week and as early as yesterday.


When I sliced the zucchini and yellow squash, it looked so fresh, I almost ate it raw! The low sodium sea salt blend is very tasty as well. It looks kind of like Mrs. Dash. It does not look like salt when you poor it.

I have measured out 3.5 oz of steak, a half cup of zucchini and a quarter cup of whole grain rice pilaf. I read that grass fed beef is about 100 calories less per 6 oz steak than corn fed. Unfortunately, I have no idea what the nutrition information would be for the steak I bought. I would estimate my meal to have a total of 250 calories, 9 g fat, 2 g fiber, and 30 g protein. Not bad for a delicious meal! I wasn't able to finish my rice. It's so filling, but I try to get a whole grain in at each meal.

I'm looking forward to more organic meals in my future!

For breakfast tomorrow, I'll have one of the yogurts I bought today, with some Kashi high fiber cereal mixed in, and for lunch I'm going to try the ham and cheese.