New year, new blog: www.myturntotri.blogspot.com

I'm training for a triathlon - mini triathlon, that is. 

I'm documenting the journey here:  My Turn to Tri

For now, I'll be documenting my weight loss journey all on that site. 

See you there!

Let the training begin!

In preparation for training for my half marathon, I need to address my knee issues that I've had for years now.  I keep re-injuring my knee, over and over and it gets in the way of my exercise.  I called my MD for an appointment for today to get bloodwork done (I'm out of thyroid meds today I just noticed), and to have her look at my knee, so we can get some xrays done and pass me along to whoever can fix the problem.

I went to an orthopedist a year or two ago, and it was when I had first injured it.  He told me to take it easy, use the exercise bike to strengthen it, and if it didn't get better, to see him again.  It didn't really bother me for a long time, but then I re-injured it (a few times), because it's weak from prior injuries, and weak from all that weight I carried around for so many years (and the extra weight I'm still carrying around), so it's just a big wimpy mess.

I think I will probably need physical therapy, and I want my MD or PT to monitor my training.  I'm hoping to come out of the training with a stronger knee - I certainly don't want to do additional damage.  I know every lb I lose will make a difference in my recovery, so I'm glad to be doing the biggest loser challenge that Alison is arranging.  That will make weight loss fun!

My MD will have a loaded plate with me there today, between my flu, knee and thyroid, but I'm sure she can handle it.  ;)  I can't believe they could see me today - they must have had several last minute cancellations - typical of the holiday season.  Good for me.

Visualize whirled peas

Remember that smart alecky bumper sticker?  Visualize whirled peas?  LOL

As I've mentioned before, I think visualization is a very helpful tool.  I've been nasty sick the past few days, so I haven't done anything to lose weight.  I don't know what I put on while I was visiting my family, but I know it was enough to make my loose pants feel tighter.  I weighed myself today, and I was down to my recent highest - which I guess if you count Christmas vacation, is not my recent highest anymore, but since I didn't weigh myself, we'll just ignore that.  The weight is gone, no harm, no foul.  ;-)

I've been spending a lot of my sick hours thinking about my next moves.  I'm very excited to start training for the half marathon.  I already have that planned out, but I will adjust depending on my knees and how my body responds.  I already know I can do 3 miles fairly easily, so that's where I'm going to start.  3 miles, every other day, for 2 weeks.  Then I add miles on as I go, and the week before I do the 13.1 mile run, I plan to do 15 miles, that way the 13.1 will seem easy.  :)

I can see myself crossing the finish line.  I can see myself in the gym, every day, working out hard.  I can see myself getting down to a fighting weight.  I like what I see.  I see beyond that too - I see myself doing new things I've never done like surfing...or wearing an outfit that I liked, and not worrying about bad angles.  ;-)  I see myself healthy and fit, and living a life I barely recognize right now...and I can't wait.

Sorry I've been absent

Please forgive me for missing nearly a week of blogging!  I have not been feeling well.  I started coming down with something 2 weeks ago this past Sunday when we returned from Dallas, and I finally felt it coming on strong on Christmas day.  By the 26th, I felt full blown sick, so I upgraded our tickets to first class (thank heavens!!), and we spent the last day with my family, ensuring each of them a fair opportunity to catch my germs.  Now my sister is sick as a dog too.  (sorry!!!!)

I have spent the past 2 days, since I've been home, sleeping, reading and watching tv.  That's it.  I feel like a gross, sick, germ blob.  Today I feel ever so slightly better than yesterday, so I'm hoping I'm on my way to health.  I'm *really* hoping this thing doesn't turn into pneumonia, which I really feared yesterday when I felt it go into my chest.  I think the fact that I've been bundled up inside has helped me a lot, so I'm going to take the time off from work that I need, and I'm not going back until I'm well.  If I go back when I start to feel better, but I'm not all the way better, I'll just get even more sick. 

I have learned a thing or two these past few years that I've been sick constantly.

;-)

That is all the news that's fit to print.

Stay healthy, gang!

Who does these???

When I started losing weight and getting into shape, I decided I wanted to be a triathlete.  Then I realized what that entailed:  2.4 miles of swimming, 112 miles of biking, and 26.2 miles of running...all in one day, and in under 17 hrs.  I'm sorry, huh?  Who can do that??????

Apparently, anyone.

Last night, I watched the Biggest Loser "Where are they now?" show.  Some people kept it off, some didn't (an interesting theme is that the ones who are doing the best are the ones that are teaching fitness or have somehow incorporated fitness and wellness into their lives...reason #4 why I'm thinking of buying a gym), but one guy who had gained some weight back decided to do a triathalon.  He was a pretty big boy, even though much smaller than he was initially, and God bless him, he gave it his all.

He ended up finishing 3 minutes after the deadline, so technically, he didn't complete it, but WHAT.EVER.  His endurance was amazing.  The fact that someone obese could even possibly complete that physical challenge was astounding to me.

We always hear about how we have to be so careful about exercise, and consulting with physicians, and heart attacks, and maybe that is all very true, but the side we never hear about is that our bodies are WAY more resilient than we think.  If this big guy can complete a triathalon, I really believe that I can too someday.

I'm not going to take all that on now - LOL - but my first goal will be a half marathon.  I think that's an attainable goal, a good challenge and a big step for me.  I never do more than 3 or 4 miles on the treadmill, but I know I can.  If I had to do a half marathon today, I know I could do it.  It would be unpleasant because I'm out of shape, but my body could do it.  With a few months of training, I think I would be in pretty good shape to do it. 

Yes, I have asthma, bad knees and a bad back, but if they can do it, I can do it.  That's one of the coolest parts of the show - the fact that it inspires some of the people watching it to reach for new heights.  If you are told all your life that you can't do something because of the way you are, you are just going to assume it's true.  I think our bodies can do more than we think, and that is an exciting thought for me.

Children's Hospital at Dartmouth has a half marathon scheduled for 8/29/09.  Since TJ has me at my goal weight by then, it should be a great date to aim for.  Who's with me?????  :)

Fill me up!

My, isn't this clinical!

Alas, I have scheduled a fill.  In anticipation of a holiday visit filled with dieting tips from my parents (love you guys!), I'm glad I can answer them with a plan of action.  I will be getting a fill on 1/5/10.  It will be my first fill in almost a year and a half.  It's been a weird run, but I'm really hoping this does the trick to help me stay back on track. 

Lately, my appetite has been growing, and I find myself able to eat more and more and more.  I don't know why it's just been happening now, but I don't care either.  It is, and I need a fill, and I'm getting one. 

No, I'm not thrilled to go in there weighing 35 lbs more than I did the last time I was there.  My surgeon was always so proud of me every time I saw him, and now I'll just be like all the other bad students who gained.  Actually, what has happened to me is exactly what he predicted.  He said most people lose 60% of their total weight they have to lose, and then end up gaining 20-30 lbs back from their lowest point.  So there, I did just that.  Good for me.  And truly, I had lost 75% of my total weight to lose, and bounced up the 20-30 from that point.  Let's try to get him to focus on that.  ;-)

There were other times during the year when I needed a fill, and I avoided getting one because I was upset with myself for gaining.  However, I don't want to gain anymore from this new high point I've reached in the past few months, so I'm facing the music, and getting the help I need.

Phat, dumb and happy

That's me.  I'm sorry I missed a week on this blog - yikes!  In addition to being very busy, I'm sharing my office at work with my assistant until hers is ready, so I don't have access to my computer as much as usual.  Also, I haven't been feeling well since the plane ride home last Sunday.  I've been fighting something off, but just feeling really run down, sick to my stomach off and on, achy, sniffly, and tired.  I haven't been exercising, and I've been eating WAY too much comfort food.  I'm back to my high point again.  Hooray!

LOL - at least I got there by eating delicious french cuisine, that I mentioned in my other blog.  ;-)

I feel super duper fat today.  Have you ever had those days when it just feels like your fat is growing and growing?  I feel fatter every minute, and it's quite unpleasant.  I know I need to focus on my health, not just losing weight, but getting to the bottom of why I'm sick all the time.  I do think I'm allergic to this house, and hopefully after the holidays, we can get someone in here to do some testing and then hopefully get rid of the mold that is probably making me sick constantly.

I'm also ready for a fill.  For a while, I was having trouble eating normal things, but that time has passed, and I definitely need a fill.  Every time I call the office, they aren't open.  I just called right now, and they aren't in until 10.  If I called at 8, they wouldn't be in until 9.  If I called at 3, they would have been closed for the day.  I don't know what's going on, but I know I need to make more of an effort.

I'm going to schedule a fill for January, and I'm going to try to lose 7-10 lbs by the time I have to fly out on Wednesday.  LOL.

Very active weekend

I even wrestled a bull to the ground!

Amazing, I know.  ;-)

We went to Dallas this weekend, and we were pretty active, walking miles while we were there, but we didn't eat very healthy foods...at all.  We ate out every meal, and although I managed to order a salad for one of my meals, naturally it was a crispy chicken salad with full fat ranch dressing, so we know how healthy that really was.

I'm hoping to lose some weight before I have to travel again next week.  I will try, at least.  It's obviously not the easiest time in the world to lose weight, but I'm also sick of being stuck in the same place and losing the same weight over and over.

I think at the very least, I'm going to plan to exercise every day.  If my eating choices aren't perfect, at least I'll be staying on track in one way. 

Hoooooly Moly!

We watched the biggest loser finale last night.

Here is a picture of Danny Cahill, the winner, before:

And here is a picture of him after:

They don't really tell us exactly how long the entire process takes but I think it's like six months from start to finish, and it may even be less.  If that's the case, than this guy lost 239 lbs in 6 months.  I know that doesn't seem remotely possible, but I think that's what happened.  

Can you believe the difference?  I almost couldn't believe my eyes when I saw some of these transformations last night.  It was amazing.  Many of them looked awesome...a few looked a little scary, but most of them really looked fantastic.

I hope they do keep the weight off.  We've always been told that losing weight slow is the way to go, and maybe that's true, but if it's not true for everyone, it's good to know there are alternatives out there.  I always think different things work for different people.

I can't believe how differently we view overweight people to fit people. I saw Danny as a completely different person based upon his new look.  Part of it was the weight, but part of it was his darker hair, and just winning countenance that he didn't have before.  He has truly made a jaw dropping transformation (as did runner up Rudy), and I'm really thrilled for them, and so many others who did so well.

The MD behind the show had to speak out against gastric bypass surgery, of course.  I thought that was too bad, because for some, that may be their only option.  Not everyone can go on this reality show, and it's truly not realistic to think that people at home can work out 4-6 hrs/day at that kind of intensity, and with that much support.  Gastric bypass surgery has risks, of course, but obesity has greater risks in most cases.  That's just my opinion...

I must say I was energized by seeing those results!

Yup, I'm dragging...

You probably guessed that since as of 3:30, I still hadn't blogged yet!  I missed yesterday too.  It's been a busy, busy week.

For some reason, I'm completely exhausted today.  I feel weak, sometimes dizzy, and just tiiiiired.  I don't think I slept well, and I've been waking up VERY early lately, so I think it's just catching up with me.

Sadly, that's really all I have to say for now.  LOL - sorry 'bout that.

Awwwwwww

The total weight of these 3 little Yorkie puppies is 6 lbs.  LOL - how cute and teeny tiny are they???  Darcy and I met a little baby Yorkie at the pet store the other day.  He was 10 weeks old, and he weighed about a lb.  He was so little, and absolutely precious.  It's a good thing his pen mate decided to released himself on him because I'm quite sure the offensive oder is the reason Henry doesn't have a baby brother today.  Poor little Harry - I hope they have washed him by now.

I mention the adorable trio, because today, I'm down 6 lbs from my latest high weight.  I've lost 3 lbs this week, and I was far from perfect, but I was definitely better, so it's working, and I'm glad.

I'm having a gross chicken alfredo lean cuisine for breakfast, as I type.  What a nice way to kick start the day.  LOL

I've been working since before 5AM this morning.  I have a lot to do since I was on the road all day yesterday, but I don't want it to cut into my weekend.

Better get back to it - just wanted to share the good news with you two.  ;-)

With a little help off from my friends

Where have all of my blogging budies gone?  I still have some non-weight loss blogs that I read, but I used to have a great routine of reading at least 5 every morning, and if I was going through a hard time, I could find inspiration through someone else's words.

Now I'm down to 2 weight loss blogs - mine and Alison's.  No offense to either of us, but we've both been kind of spinning our wheels for a long time now.  LOL

We're up and down and up and down, and really going nowhere.  Can someone please do something extraordinary and write about it so I can find inspiration again??  That would be great, thanks. 

It's hard having a ton of weight to lose.  It's a loooooooooooooong journey.  Things that work sometimes, don't work at other times, and it's hard to keep momentum up for years at a time.  I can see why most weight loss efforts fail.

As you may be able to surmise from my post, I'm having a struggle getting back on track.  I'm eating okay, but not great.  I'm down my silly four lbs, and I'm not gaining, but I'm not losing.  I'm not exercising either, and I KNOW I need to.  I've been tired and feeling so run down - I'd probably feel better if I just bit the bullet and worked out.

It sounds like a wonderful idea at 7:45 AM - not so appealing at 7PM when I'm collapsing after a very busy day at work.

Anyway, I must turn inward to find inspiration, and Alison and I will keep jogging along on our hamster wheels while you watch us spin.  :)

We interrupt this broadcast...

Sorry - I was sick of looking at those ribs.  It was making me a little queasy.  Please standby for your regularly scheduled programming...

Not a diet food

We bought Henry a new pen so that when we have to leave him for longer lengths of time, he doens't have to stay in his crate, but he'll still be safe.  We wanted to try it out for a short period of time first, so we decided to go out to dinner last night.  We couldn't decide what we wanted, at all, so we ended up going to KC's Rib Shack...very random choice...

I had fried pickles (that were delicious) and 2 ribs.  I felt sick to my stomach, because my body doesn't respond well to junk food.  I don't know why I ate that.  I wasn't feeling well, which never helps my willpower....and I'm not sure why I'm not feeling well.  I was exhausted by 4pm yesterday afternoon.

By 7, I wanted to go to bed.  I held out until 9PM, and then I slept in until 6:30.  I only sleep those long hours when I'm sick.  I'm feeling a bit better this morning, but I still have a stuffy nose, headache, etc...   Oh well, I'm sure it will pass.

Other than that, I had been good with my eating yesterday, so I was the same weight today. 

Today, I'm going to be working late because I have a ton of work to do, and my plan is to finally eat the right amount of calories and see a loss on the scale tomorrow!

Rome wasn't built in a day

Okay, so yesterday wasn't perfect, but I took steps in the right direction.  Sometimes, I try to make drastic changes quicker than I'm ready for them, and it's not always a recipe for success.  I ate much better than I had been, but not as good as I would like to long term.  I didn't exercise either.  I had a terrible headache, and my allergies were making me ill, but I still could have, and I didn't.

I was down 1 lb today.  I think it would have been more like 3 or 4 if I had done all the right things, but 1 lb is 1 step in the right direction.  I'm one lb closer to losing 20 lbs by the new year, and 1 lb closer to hitting my goal weight in 8/12/10.  :)

I'm hoping that today, I'll be even better, and that much closer to my goals tomorrow.

Holiday Weight Gain

I have read various reports claiming the average American gains anywhere from one to 10 lbs over the holidays.  I think the average thin person may gain 1 lb, and the average fat person probably gains 10.  My weight has been fluctuating a lot lately, but I'm up 4 lbs from the average place I've been recently, which means I'm only down 3 lbs from my more recent high weight.

I guess I should be thankful I didn't gain it all back.  Alison blogged about the fact that she lost control over the Thanksgiving holiday weekend.  I commented that I didn't lose control because I wasn't trying to maintain control.  LOL - I know that's not a good thing.

I ate whatever I wanted, and I didn't really give it much thought.  I don't know why that is - it wasn't a conscious thought...I think in my subconscious, I'm probably just discouraged because nothing I do seems to change my weight lately.

I was talking with someone at work about this today, and she has been doing great with eating healthy, exercise, losing weight, etc..., but over this past weekend, she completely fell back into her bad habits.  She was surprised at how quickly good habits just seem to FLY out the window.

Sadly, there's no surprise for me there.  I worked so hard to change my lifetime of bad habits when I got the lapband, and I made huge changes.  My instincts changed.  The way I thought about food and health changed...and now, 2 years later, my old habits creep back in more and more.

On the way to work, I thought about how at the beginning of this year, I wanted to focus on toning my body.  I was on a great track, and I figured the rest was just going to come off whenever it wanted, so I was going to focus on getting my body as fit as possible.

Rather than doing that, I gained 30 lbs, and let my bad habits back in.  It has been so hard to focus on my health when I've had so many competing priorities.  Between work and school and all of my other projects, I've found myself wondering if I should put my weight loss journey on hold while I focus on things I CAN control.

I don't want to do that, though, because I know that 30 will grow to 60 which will grow to 120, and then I'm just about back where I started.

NO THANK YOU.

The reason why I have so many good things going in my life right now is because I'm healthier than I've been in a long time.  I've lost weight so I'm free to travel and roam about the world.  I have more confidence in business settings because now I'm only regular fat, not cartoon fat.  I don't mind putting myself out there more recording CDs, or being on film for my documentary or my tv show because I've lose a big amount of weight.

I absolutely refuse to go back to the way my life was.  I don't know how I can fit it all in, but I do know I don't have a choice.  Yes, it is annoying when I work so hard and I don't see changes on the scale, but I know that is temporary.  Eventually my body will have to catch up with my actions, and I just need to stick with it to get to that point.

I am 77 lbs away from my goal.  I can do this.  I'm focusing on just today for now.  For today, I know I can make healthy choices and get my exercise in.  I'm not going to worry about tomorrow.  I'm taking it one day at a time.

I'm not going to gain 1 or 10 lbs over the holiday season.  I'm really hoping to be down 20 (from my high point) by the new year.  That will just give me 60 lbs to go to reach my 8/12/10 goal weight as TJ has predicted. 

Normally, I would think that was completely reasonable.  I have a month to lose 17 lbs.  The four that I'm up from last week will be easily gone in a day or two or three, so it's really only 13 lbs to lose in 4 weeks.  If I'm trying hard, that should be no problem.

However, as I've seen recently, my body is confused...probably from all the up and down action.  It doesn't know what to do, and I swear, it thinks I'm bluffing, so it hangs onto the weight, even when I'm perfect for weeks on end.

However, I'm going to push that out of my mind for now, and I'm going to use positive visualization to see the number on the scale as 20 lbs lower than my highest, and my clothes fitting 20 lbs better.  I'm going to envision myself making healthy choices and working out regularly as the lbs come off.

By next August, you won't recognize me.  :)

Happy Thanksgiving!

Thanksgiving is tomorrow!  I'm very excited because I *love* thanksgiving dinner, but I'm even more excited because my Mom and Dad are visiting!  I grew up having very traditional thanksgiving meals, and that's how I continue to make holiday meals as an adult.  It's not very exciting or sophisticated of me, but I associate tastes and smells with tradition, and I like remembering holidays from my youth.  They were always very yummy, and sometimes even quite entertaining, depending on the involvement of extended families.  :)

We are having just the four of us tomorrow, so the menu is very simple:

• turkey (free range, antibiotic free, of course!!)
• mom's homemade stuffing
• mashed potatoes (original and cheesy baked)
• green bean casserole
• corn
• turnip
• carrots
• cranberry jelly
• grammy's apple pie
• cheesecake
• pumpkin pie (maybe)

I think that's about it - of course, rolls, bread, gravy, salad, etc...  I feel like I'm forgetting something. 

My Mom has been quite concerned about me pulling this meal off.  It's very funny because I think that thanksgiving dinner is one of the easiest meals to make.  It can be a lot to coordinate, but overall, it's really not that bad.  I've probably hosted at least 10 thanksgiving dinners in my adult life.  A mother worries, though, right?  :)

She asked me the other day if I needed her to email me all the components that go into a Thanksgiving dinner.  LOL - I think I got it.  :)  Today, she asked me if I had sent Darcy to the store yet to get the food for tomorrow's meal.  I teasingly told her that we were waiting until tomorrow morning because the store will be open.  She uttered her best protest, while I kept up the ruse, but I finally broke down and told her that the shopping was already done, and boy was she relieved!

My Mother is very funny.  She is making her delicious apple pie for our meal tomorrow, and they don't fly in until this afternoon.  She decided to make the crust at home and bring it with her on the plane to save time.  I just got a call from my parents saying that they pulled my mother over in airport security due to the foreign substance (uncooked pie crust) that they found in her carry on.  They were going to throw it out, but she begged them not to, so they brought over some sort of tester to make sure it wasn't an explosive substance, and the crust was cleared.

"Well you know," my Mom said to me on the phone, "90% of people don't even make their own pie crust these days so no wonder they didn't even know what it was!"  LOL - hilarious.

This is going to be a very fun holiday, and I'm hoping that portion control will save us all.

:)

...and here we go again...

I am somehow under the weather yet again.  I had the flu shot, so I'm not sure what's up with that.  I didn't have the H1N1 yet - I'm supposed to get that tomorrow, but they won't give it to me if I'm sick.  For work, I'm in the hospital all the time, constantly surrounded by germs.  I should probably wear a mask to work.  LOL

I'm hoping it's just a cold.  On Friday, I started to feel that weird feeling in my chest that I get before I get sick.  It's a little tight, a little bit like a burn, but that's about it.  By Saturday, I wasn't feeling great, and I was outside for hours, which probably didn't help.  We went out for dinner for Alison's birthday, and I had a hard time eating because I was feeling a little sick to my stomach.  Within a few hours, I was totally sick to my stomach, and I headed home.

Yesterady, I needed to work all day, but I found myself on the couch the entire time, achy, lethargic, and just feeling icky.  I didn't take my temperature, but I think I had a fever that broke in the middle of the night when I woke up drenched in sweat.

I feel a little better today than I did yesterday, but I'm just sneezy, with a tickle in my throat, a non-stop runny nose and puffy eyes and face filled with fluids.  Basically, I'm very attractive right now.  I have to be *very* careful monitoring my fever, because if I get a fever again, I cannot come into work.

Since I wasn't able to work yesterday, and with this being a holiday week, I am very behind, and I do not have time to be sick.  I'm going to think good thoughts, take vitamins, get lots of fluids, and hope this thing disappears very quickly!

The new diet food

I am having an extra crazy week this week (believe it or not!), and yesterday was insane.  I decided to drown my frustrations in fat, and I met Darcy for lunch at Pizzeria Uno.  Naught-Y!  If you haven't had Pizza Skins yet, don't.  They are devilishly good.

...Unos buttery crisp deep dish crust filled with mashed potatoes, and topped with melted cheese, bacon, chives and sour cream.  Pure evil.

So I ate those, and then moved onto my personal pan cheese and tomato pizza and then had the leftovers for dinner. 

Naturally, I was down 3 lbs today.  LOL 

Huh?

This is not teaching me a good leasson.  Eat like an angel and workout like crazy and lose nothing, but eat the most fattening food on the planet, skip the workout, and then be down 3 lbs I haven't been able to lose in weeks?  LOL...

I give up!  :)

Competition

As I mentioned, Darcy starts her new job on 11/30.  She'll be working 5-9 Monday - Thursday and a normal day on Fridays.  As a result, we won't be able to workout together during the week.  To stay motivated, I am going to suggest a little friendly competition.

I am sometimes on the competitive side, but Darcy really isn't, so I have to think of something that is worth it for both of us.  I'm thinking that whoever works out more (either times or minutes??  what do you think?) will win for the week.  I was thinking of the prize being related to housework.  The loser has to clean the house, or something like that.

...but I have a feeling if Darcy loses, she'll just tell me she's not doing it.  LOL

Suggestions???