Phatband

New year, new blog: www.myturntotri.blogspot.com

2010-01-01T20:40:00.000-05:00

I'm training for a triathlon - mini triathlon, that is.

I'm documenting the journey here: My Turn to Tri

For now, I'll be documenting my weight loss journey all on that site.

See you there!

Let the training begin!

2009-12-31T11:03:00.000-05:00

In preparation for training for my half marathon, I need to address my knee issues that I've had for years now. I keep re-injuring my knee, over and over and it gets in the way of my exercise. I called my MD for an appointment for today to get bloodwork done (I'm out of thyroid meds today I just noticed), and to have her look at my knee, so we can get some xrays done and pass me along to whoever can fix the problem.

I went to an orthopedist a year or two ago, and it was when I had first injured it. He told me to take it easy, use the exercise bike to strengthen it, and if it didn't get better, to see him again. It didn't really bother me for a long time, but then I re-injured it (a few times), because it's weak from prior injuries, and weak from all that weight I carried around for so many years (and the extra weight I'm still carrying around), so it's just a big wimpy mess.

I think I will probably need physical therapy, and I want my MD or PT to monitor my training. I'm hoping to come out of the training with a stronger knee - I certainly don't want to do additional damage. I know every lb I lose will make a difference in my recovery, so I'm glad to be doing the biggest loser challenge that Alison is arranging. That will make weight loss fun!

My MD will have a loaded plate with me there today, between my flu, knee and thyroid, but I'm sure she can handle it. ;) I can't believe they could see me today - they must have had several last minute cancellations - typical of the holiday season. Good for me.

Visualize whirled peas

2009-12-30T08:53:00.002-05:00

Remember that smart alecky bumper sticker? Visualize whirled peas? LOL

As I've mentioned before, I think visualization is a very helpful tool. I've been nasty sick the past few days, so I haven't done anything to lose weight. I don't know what I put on while I was visiting my family, but I know it was enough to make my loose pants feel tighter. I weighed myself today, and I was down to my recent highest - which I guess if you count Christmas vacation, is not my recent highest anymore, but since I didn't weigh myself, we'll just ignore that. The weight is gone, no harm, no foul. ;-)

I've been spending a lot of my sick hours thinking about my next moves. I'm very excited to start training for the half marathon. I already have that planned out, but I will adjust depending on my knees and how my body responds. I already know I can do 3 miles fairly easily, so that's where I'm going to start. 3 miles, every other day, for 2 weeks. Then I add miles on as I go, and the week before I do the 13.1 mile run, I plan to do 15 miles, that way the 13.1 will seem easy. :)

I can see myself crossing the finish line. I can see myself in the gym, every day, working out hard. I can see myself getting down to a fighting weight. I like what I see. I see beyond that too - I see myself doing new things I've never done like surfing...or wearing an outfit that I liked, and not worrying about bad angles. ;-) I see myself healthy and fit, and living a life I barely recognize right now...and I can't wait.

Sorry I've been absent

2009-12-29T07:47:00.000-05:00

Please forgive me for missing nearly a week of blogging! I have not been feeling well. I started coming down with something 2 weeks ago this past Sunday when we returned from Dallas, and I finally felt it coming on strong on Christmas day. By the 26th, I felt full blown sick, so I upgraded our tickets to first class (thank heavens!!), and we spent the last day with my family, ensuring each of them a fair opportunity to catch my germs. Now my sister is sick as a dog too. (sorry!!!!)

I have spent the past 2 days, since I've been home, sleeping, reading and watching tv. That's it. I feel like a gross, sick, germ blob. Today I feel ever so slightly better than yesterday, so I'm hoping I'm on my way to health. I'm *really* hoping this thing doesn't turn into pneumonia, which I really feared yesterday when I felt it go into my chest. I think the fact that I've been bundled up inside has helped me a lot, so I'm going to take the time off from work that I need, and I'm not going back until I'm well. If I go back when I start to feel better, but I'm not all the way better, I'll just get even more sick.

I have learned a thing or two these past few years that I've been sick constantly.

;-)

That is all the news that's fit to print.

Stay healthy, gang!

Who does these???

2009-12-23T09:16:00.000-05:00

When I started losing weight and getting into shape, I decided I wanted to be a triathlete. Then I realized what that entailed: 2.4 miles of swimming, 112 miles of biking, and 26.2 miles of running...all in one day, and in under 17 hrs. I'm sorry, huh? Who can do that??????

Apparently, anyone.

Last night, I watched the Biggest Loser "Where are they now?" show. Some people kept it off, some didn't (an interesting theme is that the ones who are doing the best are the ones that are teaching fitness or have somehow incorporated fitness and wellness into their lives...reason #4 why I'm thinking of buying a gym), but one guy who had gained some weight back decided to do a triathalon. He was a pretty big boy, even though much smaller than he was initially, and God bless him, he gave it his all.

He ended up finishing 3 minutes after the deadline, so technically, he didn't complete it, but WHAT.EVER. His endurance was amazing. The fact that someone obese could even possibly complete that physical challenge was astounding to me.

We always hear about how we have to be so careful about exercise, and consulting with physicians, and heart attacks, and maybe that is all very true, but the side we never hear about is that our bodies are WAY more resilient than we think. If this big guy can complete a triathalon, I really believe that I can too someday.

I'm not going to take all that on now - LOL - but my first goal will be a half marathon. I think that's an attainable goal, a good challenge and a big step for me. I never do more than 3 or 4 miles on the treadmill, but I know I can. If I had to do a half marathon today, I know I could do it. It would be unpleasant because I'm out of shape, but my body could do it. With a few months of training, I think I would be in pretty good shape to do it.

Yes, I have asthma, bad knees and a bad back, but if they can do it, I can do it. That's one of the coolest parts of the show - the fact that it inspires some of the people watching it to reach for new heights. If you are told all your life that you can't do something because of the way you are, you are just going to assume it's true. I think our bodies can do more than we think, and that is an exciting thought for me.

Children's Hospital at Dartmouth has a half marathon scheduled for 8/29/09. Since TJ has me at my goal weight by then, it should be a great date to aim for. Who's with me????? :)

Fill me up!

2009-12-22T11:08:00.000-05:00

My, isn't this clinical!

Alas, I have scheduled a fill. In anticipation of a holiday visit filled with dieting tips from my parents (love you guys!), I'm glad I can answer them with a plan of action. I will be getting a fill on 1/5/10. It will be my first fill in almost a year and a half. It's been a weird run, but I'm really hoping this does the trick to help me stay back on track.

Lately, my appetite has been growing, and I find myself able to eat more and more and more. I don't know why it's just been happening now, but I don't care either. It is, and I need a fill, and I'm getting one.

No, I'm not thrilled to go in there weighing 35 lbs more than I did the last time I was there. My surgeon was always so proud of me every time I saw him, and now I'll just be like all the other bad students who gained. Actually, what has happened to me is exactly what he predicted. He said most people lose 60% of their total weight they have to lose, and then end up gaining 20-30 lbs back from their lowest point. So there, I did just that. Good for me. And truly, I had lost 75% of my total weight to lose, and bounced up the 20-30 from that point. Let's try to get him to focus on that. ;-)

There were other times during the year when I needed a fill, and I avoided getting one because I was upset with myself for gaining. However, I don't want to gain anymore from this new high point I've reached in the past few months, so I'm facing the music, and getting the help I need.

Phat, dumb and happy

2009-12-21T09:44:00.000-05:00

That's me. I'm sorry I missed a week on this blog - yikes! In addition to being very busy, I'm sharing my office at work with my assistant until hers is ready, so I don't have access to my computer as much as usual. Also, I haven't been feeling well since the plane ride home last Sunday. I've been fighting something off, but just feeling really run down, sick to my stomach off and on, achy, sniffly, and tired. I haven't been exercising, and I've been eating WAY too much comfort food. I'm back to my high point again. Hooray!

LOL - at least I got there by eating delicious french cuisine, that I mentioned in my other blog. ;-)

I feel super duper fat today. Have you ever had those days when it just feels like your fat is growing and growing? I feel fatter every minute, and it's quite unpleasant. I know I need to focus on my health, not just losing weight, but getting to the bottom of why I'm sick all the time. I do think I'm allergic to this house, and hopefully after the holidays, we can get someone in here to do some testing and then hopefully get rid of the mold that is probably making me sick constantly.

I'm also ready for a fill. For a while, I was having trouble eating normal things, but that time has passed, and I definitely need a fill. Every time I call the office, they aren't open. I just called right now, and they aren't in until 10. If I called at 8, they wouldn't be in until 9. If I called at 3, they would have been closed for the day. I don't know what's going on, but I know I need to make more of an effort.

I'm going to schedule a fill for January, and I'm going to try to lose 7-10 lbs by the time I have to fly out on Wednesday. LOL.

Very active weekend

2009-12-14T09:11:00.000-05:00

I even wrestled a bull to the ground!

Amazing, I know. ;-)

We went to Dallas this weekend, and we were pretty active, walking miles while we were there, but we didn't eat very healthy foods...at all. We ate out every meal, and although I managed to order a salad for one of my meals, naturally it was a crispy chicken salad with full fat ranch dressing, so we know how healthy that really was.

I'm hoping to lose some weight before I have to travel again next week. I will try, at least. It's obviously not the easiest time in the world to lose weight, but I'm also sick of being stuck in the same place and losing the same weight over and over.

I think at the very least, I'm going to plan to exercise every day. If my eating choices aren't perfect, at least I'll be staying on track in one way.

Hoooooly Moly!

2009-12-09T08:15:00.000-05:00

We watched the biggest loser finale last night.

Here is a picture of Danny Cahill, the winner, before:

And here is a picture of him after:

They don't really tell us exactly how long the entire process takes but I think it's like six months from start to finish, and it may even be less. If that's the case, than this guy lost 239 lbs in 6 months. I know that doesn't seem remotely possible, but I think that's what happened.

Can you believe the difference? I almost couldn't believe my eyes when I saw some of these transformations last night. It was amazing. Many of them looked awesome...a few looked a little scary, but most of them really looked fantastic.

I hope they do keep the weight off. We've always been told that losing weight slow is the way to go, and maybe that's true, but if it's not true for everyone, it's good to know there are alternatives out there. I always think different things work for different people.

I can't believe how differently we view overweight people to fit people. I saw Danny as a completely different person based upon his new look. Part of it was the weight, but part of it was his darker hair, and just winning countenance that he didn't have before. He has truly made a jaw dropping transformation (as did runner up Rudy), and I'm really thrilled for them, and so many others who did so well.

The MD behind the show had to speak out against gastric bypass surgery, of course. I thought that was too bad, because for some, that may be their only option. Not everyone can go on this reality show, and it's truly not realistic to think that people at home can work out 4-6 hrs/day at that kind of intensity, and with that much support. Gastric bypass surgery has risks, of course, but obesity has greater risks in most cases. That's just my opinion...

I must say I was energized by seeing those results!

Yup, I'm dragging...

2009-12-08T15:23:00.000-05:00

You probably guessed that since as of 3:30, I still hadn't blogged yet! I missed yesterday too. It's been a busy, busy week.

For some reason, I'm completely exhausted today. I feel weak, sometimes dizzy, and just tiiiiired. I don't think I slept well, and I've been waking up VERY early lately, so I think it's just catching up with me.

Sadly, that's really all I have to say for now. LOL - sorry 'bout that.

Awwwwwww

2009-12-05T07:43:00.000-05:00

The total weight of these 3 little Yorkie puppies is 6 lbs. LOL - how cute and teeny tiny are they??? Darcy and I met a little baby Yorkie at the pet store the other day. He was 10 weeks old, and he weighed about a lb. He was so little, and absolutely precious. It's a good thing his pen mate decided to released himself on him because I'm quite sure the offensive oder is the reason Henry doesn't have a baby brother today. Poor little Harry - I hope they have washed him by now.

I mention the adorable trio, because today, I'm down 6 lbs from my latest high weight. I've lost 3 lbs this week, and I was far from perfect, but I was definitely better, so it's working, and I'm glad.

I'm having a gross chicken alfredo lean cuisine for breakfast, as I type. What a nice way to kick start the day. LOL

I've been working since before 5AM this morning. I have a lot to do since I was on the road all day yesterday, but I don't want it to cut into my weekend.

Better get back to it - just wanted to share the good news with you two. ;-)

With a little help off from my friends

2009-12-03T07:49:00.002-05:00

Where have all of my blogging budies gone? I still have some non-weight loss blogs that I read, but I used to have a great routine of reading at least 5 every morning, and if I was going through a hard time, I could find inspiration through someone else's words.

Now I'm down to 2 weight loss blogs - mine and Alison's. No offense to either of us, but we've both been kind of spinning our wheels for a long time now. LOL

We're up and down and up and down, and really going nowhere. Can someone please do something extraordinary and write about it so I can find inspiration again?? That would be great, thanks.

It's hard having a ton of weight to lose. It's a loooooooooooooong journey. Things that work sometimes, don't work at other times, and it's hard to keep momentum up for years at a time. I can see why most weight loss efforts fail.

As you may be able to surmise from my post, I'm having a struggle getting back on track. I'm eating okay, but not great. I'm down my silly four lbs, and I'm not gaining, but I'm not losing. I'm not exercising either, and I KNOW I need to. I've been tired and feeling so run down - I'd probably feel better if I just bit the bullet and worked out.

It sounds like a wonderful idea at 7:45 AM - not so appealing at 7PM when I'm collapsing after a very busy day at work.

Anyway, I must turn inward to find inspiration, and Alison and I will keep jogging along on our hamster wheels while you watch us spin. :)

We interrupt this broadcast...

2009-12-02T13:49:00.000-05:00

Sorry - I was sick of looking at those ribs. It was making me a little queasy. Please standby for your regularly scheduled programming...

Not a diet food

2009-12-02T06:51:00.000-05:00

We bought Henry a new pen so that when we have to leave him for longer lengths of time, he doens't have to stay in his crate, but he'll still be safe. We wanted to try it out for a short period of time first, so we decided to go out to dinner last night. We couldn't decide what we wanted, at all, so we ended up going to KC's Rib Shack...very random choice...

I had fried pickles (that were delicious) and 2 ribs. I felt sick to my stomach, because my body doesn't respond well to junk food. I don't know why I ate that. I wasn't feeling well, which never helps my willpower....and I'm not sure why I'm not feeling well. I was exhausted by 4pm yesterday afternoon.

By 7, I wanted to go to bed. I held out until 9PM, and then I slept in until 6:30. I only sleep those long hours when I'm sick. I'm feeling a bit better this morning, but I still have a stuffy nose, headache, etc... Oh well, I'm sure it will pass.

Other than that, I had been good with my eating yesterday, so I was the same weight today.

Today, I'm going to be working late because I have a ton of work to do, and my plan is to finally eat the right amount of calories and see a loss on the scale tomorrow!

Rome wasn't built in a day

2009-12-01T08:07:00.000-05:00

Okay, so yesterday wasn't perfect, but I took steps in the right direction. Sometimes, I try to make drastic changes quicker than I'm ready for them, and it's not always a recipe for success. I ate much better than I had been, but not as good as I would like to long term. I didn't exercise either. I had a terrible headache, and my allergies were making me ill, but I still could have, and I didn't.

I was down 1 lb today. I think it would have been more like 3 or 4 if I had done all the right things, but 1 lb is 1 step in the right direction. I'm one lb closer to losing 20 lbs by the new year, and 1 lb closer to hitting my goal weight in 8/12/10. :)

I'm hoping that today, I'll be even better, and that much closer to my goals tomorrow.

Holiday Weight Gain

2009-11-30T09:40:00.000-05:00

I have read various reports claiming the average American gains anywhere from one to 10 lbs over the holidays. I think the average thin person may gain 1 lb, and the average fat person probably gains 10. My weight has been fluctuating a lot lately, but I'm up 4 lbs from the average place I've been recently, which means I'm only down 3 lbs from my more recent high weight.

I guess I should be thankful I didn't gain it all back. Alison blogged about the fact that she lost control over the Thanksgiving holiday weekend. I commented that I didn't lose control because I wasn't trying to maintain control. LOL - I know that's not a good thing.

I ate whatever I wanted, and I didn't really give it much thought. I don't know why that is - it wasn't a conscious thought...I think in my subconscious, I'm probably just discouraged because nothing I do seems to change my weight lately.

I was talking with someone at work about this today, and she has been doing great with eating healthy, exercise, losing weight, etc..., but over this past weekend, she completely fell back into her bad habits. She was surprised at how quickly good habits just seem to FLY out the window.

Sadly, there's no surprise for me there. I worked so hard to change my lifetime of bad habits when I got the lapband, and I made huge changes. My instincts changed. The way I thought about food and health changed...and now, 2 years later, my old habits creep back in more and more.

On the way to work, I thought about how at the beginning of this year, I wanted to focus on toning my body. I was on a great track, and I figured the rest was just going to come off whenever it wanted, so I was going to focus on getting my body as fit as possible.

Rather than doing that, I gained 30 lbs, and let my bad habits back in. It has been so hard to focus on my health when I've had so many competing priorities. Between work and school and all of my other projects, I've found myself wondering if I should put my weight loss journey on hold while I focus on things I CAN control.

I don't want to do that, though, because I know that 30 will grow to 60 which will grow to 120, and then I'm just about back where I started.

NO THANK YOU.

The reason why I have so many good things going in my life right now is because I'm healthier than I've been in a long time. I've lost weight so I'm free to travel and roam about the world. I have more confidence in business settings because now I'm only regular fat, not cartoon fat. I don't mind putting myself out there more recording CDs, or being on film for my documentary or my tv show because I've lose a big amount of weight.

I absolutely refuse to go back to the way my life was. I don't know how I can fit it all in, but I do know I don't have a choice. Yes, it is annoying when I work so hard and I don't see changes on the scale, but I know that is temporary. Eventually my body will have to catch up with my actions, and I just need to stick with it to get to that point.

I am 77 lbs away from my goal. I can do this. I'm focusing on just today for now. For today, I know I can make healthy choices and get my exercise in. I'm not going to worry about tomorrow. I'm taking it one day at a time.

I'm not going to gain 1 or 10 lbs over the holiday season. I'm really hoping to be down 20 (from my high point) by the new year. That will just give me 60 lbs to go to reach my 8/12/10 goal weight as TJ has predicted.

Normally, I would think that was completely reasonable. I have a month to lose 17 lbs. The four that I'm up from last week will be easily gone in a day or two or three, so it's really only 13 lbs to lose in 4 weeks. If I'm trying hard, that should be no problem.

However, as I've seen recently, my body is confused...probably from all the up and down action. It doesn't know what to do, and I swear, it thinks I'm bluffing, so it hangs onto the weight, even when I'm perfect for weeks on end.

However, I'm going to push that out of my mind for now, and I'm going to use positive visualization to see the number on the scale as 20 lbs lower than my highest, and my clothes fitting 20 lbs better. I'm going to envision myself making healthy choices and working out regularly as the lbs come off.

By next August, you won't recognize me. :)

Happy Thanksgiving!

2009-11-25T09:37:00.000-05:00

Thanksgiving is tomorrow! I'm very excited because I *love* thanksgiving dinner, but I'm even more excited because my Mom and Dad are visiting! I grew up having very traditional thanksgiving meals, and that's how I continue to make holiday meals as an adult. It's not very exciting or sophisticated of me, but I associate tastes and smells with tradition, and I like remembering holidays from my youth. They were always very yummy, and sometimes even quite entertaining, depending on the involvement of extended families. :)

We are having just the four of us tomorrow, so the menu is very simple:

turkey (free range, antibiotic free, of course!!)
mom's homemade stuffing
mashed potatoes (original and cheesy baked)
green bean casserole
corn
turnip
carrots
cranberry jelly
grammy's apple pie
cheesecake
pumpkin pie (maybe)

I think that's about it - of course, rolls, bread, gravy, salad, etc... I feel like I'm forgetting something.

My Mom has been quite concerned about me pulling this meal off. It's very funny because I think that thanksgiving dinner is one of the easiest meals to make. It can be a lot to coordinate, but overall, it's really not that bad. I've probably hosted at least 10 thanksgiving dinners in my adult life. A mother worries, though, right? :)

She asked me the other day if I needed her to email me all the components that go into a Thanksgiving dinner. LOL - I think I got it. :) Today, she asked me if I had sent Darcy to the store yet to get the food for tomorrow's meal. I teasingly told her that we were waiting until tomorrow morning because the store will be open. She uttered her best protest, while I kept up the ruse, but I finally broke down and told her that the shopping was already done, and boy was she relieved!

My Mother is very funny. She is making her delicious apple pie for our meal tomorrow, and they don't fly in until this afternoon. She decided to make the crust at home and bring it with her on the plane to save time. I just got a call from my parents saying that they pulled my mother over in airport security due to the foreign substance (uncooked pie crust) that they found in her carry on. They were going to throw it out, but she begged them not to, so they brought over some sort of tester to make sure it wasn't an explosive substance, and the crust was cleared.

"Well you know," my Mom said to me on the phone, "90% of people don't even make their own pie crust these days so no wonder they didn't even know what it was!" LOL - hilarious.

This is going to be a very fun holiday, and I'm hoping that portion control will save us all.

:)

...and here we go again...

2009-11-23T08:04:00.000-05:00

I am somehow under the weather yet again. I had the flu shot, so I'm not sure what's up with that. I didn't have the H1N1 yet - I'm supposed to get that tomorrow, but they won't give it to me if I'm sick. For work, I'm in the hospital all the time, constantly surrounded by germs. I should probably wear a mask to work. LOL

I'm hoping it's just a cold. On Friday, I started to feel that weird feeling in my chest that I get before I get sick. It's a little tight, a little bit like a burn, but that's about it. By Saturday, I wasn't feeling great, and I was outside for hours, which probably didn't help. We went out for dinner for Alison's birthday, and I had a hard time eating because I was feeling a little sick to my stomach. Within a few hours, I was totally sick to my stomach, and I headed home.

Yesterady, I needed to work all day, but I found myself on the couch the entire time, achy, lethargic, and just feeling icky. I didn't take my temperature, but I think I had a fever that broke in the middle of the night when I woke up drenched in sweat.

I feel a little better today than I did yesterday, but I'm just sneezy, with a tickle in my throat, a non-stop runny nose and puffy eyes and face filled with fluids. Basically, I'm very attractive right now. I have to be *very* careful monitoring my fever, because if I get a fever again, I cannot come into work.

Since I wasn't able to work yesterday, and with this being a holiday week, I am very behind, and I do not have time to be sick. I'm going to think good thoughts, take vitamins, get lots of fluids, and hope this thing disappears very quickly!

The new diet food

2009-11-19T10:55:00.000-05:00

I am having an extra crazy week this week (believe it or not!), and yesterday was insane. I decided to drown my frustrations in fat, and I met Darcy for lunch at Pizzeria Uno. Naught-Y! If you haven't had Pizza Skins yet, don't. They are devilishly good.

...Unos buttery crisp deep dish crust filled with mashed potatoes, and topped with melted cheese, bacon, chives and sour cream. Pure evil.

So I ate those, and then moved onto my personal pan cheese and tomato pizza and then had the leftovers for dinner.

Naturally, I was down 3 lbs today. LOL

Huh?

This is not teaching me a good leasson. Eat like an angel and workout like crazy and lose nothing, but eat the most fattening food on the planet, skip the workout, and then be down 3 lbs I haven't been able to lose in weeks? LOL...

I give up! :)

Competition

2009-11-17T08:12:00.000-05:00

As I mentioned, Darcy starts her new job on 11/30. She'll be working 5-9 Monday - Thursday and a normal day on Fridays. As a result, we won't be able to workout together during the week. To stay motivated, I am going to suggest a little friendly competition.

I am sometimes on the competitive side, but Darcy really isn't, so I have to think of something that is worth it for both of us. I'm thinking that whoever works out more (either times or minutes?? what do you think?) will win for the week. I was thinking of the prize being related to housework. The loser has to clean the house, or something like that.

...but I have a feeling if Darcy loses, she'll just tell me she's not doing it. LOL

Suggestions???

My Big Phat Train to Nowhere

2009-11-16T07:41:00.000-05:00

I haven't been eating great these past few days. I am PMSing (still!), and we need to go grocery shopping (desperately), so we have been eating out a lot. I haven't worked out in a week. At first, it was because I hurt my back, but this weekend, I was so busy working around the house, I didn't have time. I definitely burned a lot of calories, though!

I'm still down the 7 lbs I lost. My weight fluctuates, and for lots of last week, I was up from there, but I've been back down to those 7 lbs lost for the last few days...which leads me to believe that if I was eating what I'm supposed to, I'd actually be down more...but who knows with my crazy weight fluctuation.

All this talk of food is making me hungry. Haha. Yesterday, Darcy and I went out to lunch. I ordered a steak with mashed potatoes. The food came out on an extra large plate, and it was honestly absurd. I think I'll probably get about 5 meals out of it. Seriously. I wanted to scold them for having such large portion sizes, but I'm too fat to get away with that...LOL

We are renewing our membership with our trainer, but I'm not sure what the schedule will be now that Darcy is going back to work, and her schedule is evenings. We can still do Saturday together, but we'll have to go separately during the week. It's been a saving grace having her there, because every once in a while, I get a few seconds to catch my breath while the trainer is working with her. When it's just one on one, I know I'm going to die!

Tonight I plan to go swimming, and I can't wait.

Salad: Friend or Foe?

2009-11-11T10:48:00.000-05:00

Somewhere along the way, we started equating salads with diet food. If you go on a diet, you eat salads all the time. I'm not sure how this happened. I love salads, but most salads aren't that great for you. Lettuce, which makes up most salads, has almost no nutritional value, and salad dressing is extremely unhealthy. Even the low fat/low calorie salad dressings can be a bit dicey.

Here is the nutrition information for some popular salads that are out there:

Shorty's crispy chicken salad: 1850 calories
Applebees Low fat asian chicken salad: 900 calories
Houlihans Chinese Chicken Salad - 950 calories
Quizno's Classic Cobb - 1050 calories (71 grams of fat!!!!)
Ruby Tuesday's Carolina Chicken salad - 1400 calories
Chili's Boneless Buffalo salad - 1070 calories
Chili's Quesadilla Explosion salad - 1380 calories
Chevy's Fresh Mex Tostada Salad with Chicken, Carnitas or Steak - 1720 calories

For perspective, a Whopper with cheese and mayo is 760 calories, and a Big Mac is only 560!

There are certainly healthy salads out there, but just be careful. Salads can be sheep in wolves clothing! :)

Happy Days are here again

2009-11-10T09:58:00.000-05:00

LOL - I don't have that going on, but I do have a nasty bloat and an appetite out of Oliver Twist. I feel like a hungry animal when I eat. Then my food gets stuck. LOL - it's quite a cycle.

I'm achy and tired. I hurt my back moving a filing cabinet yesterday, and it's not helping. Between the bloat and a few bad choices, I'm not doing very well on the scale... Each day, I wake up with the intent of being a good girl, but then as the day wears on, I get sloppier with my choices.

I only have this struggle when I'm sick or PMSing. It's not right. I need an antedote. I'm not overly concerned because I was just losing and gaining the same weight over and over again even when I was being perfect, so I'm not sure what the difference is, although I do hate it when I eat bad food.

I'm going to do my best again today.

Someone has a case of the Mondays

2009-11-09T08:47:00.000-05:00

LOL

I almost didn't blog this morning because I'm so tired. It was funny reading Alison's and TJ's blogs because they said the exact same thing. I have no reason to be tired at all. I was in bed early, I had a fairly relaxing day yesterday, I'm not sick (that I know of - LOL), but I'm super duper tired.

I have to give a 90 minute presentation today, and I can't possibly imagine moving my mouth that long. I can't even open it right now.

I had a good weekend. We had a great workout on Saturday. I didn't eat great yesterday, but it was my naughty day. I don't think those help, but since I'm not losing, I can't imagine they hurt either.

Tonight I'm going out for dinner with a coworker, and I'm not sure where we are going to eat. I want to have something healthy, and that's always a challenge at a restaurant. I don't know where we are going yet, so I can't plan for my healthy choice yet.

I'm going to crack open a diet coke because I feel like I'm seriously about to nod off. :)

Lunchables

2009-11-06T09:22:00.001-05:00

Do you remember Lunchables? They are this Kraft "food" that came out when I was a kid - mainly designed for lazy parents who don't see serving overly processed, high in saturated fat and sodium foods to their kids as the child abuse that it is...

When I was a kid, they didn't have many combinations, mainly just ham, cheese and crackers that you assemble into mini sandwiches. Now they have tons of different options.

I mention this because, I'm sad to say, I just consumed one for breakfast. It was utterly disgusting. I didn't bring any food with me today because I'm meeting people for a business lunch, and it's cereal vending machine day, which I look forward to. LOL

For some reason, the vending machine was out of cereal. My choices were ramen noodles, a blueberry muffin, a sub, egg salad sandwich, or ravioli. The blueberry muffin would have probably been better from a saturated fat and sodium standpoint, but there are a lot more calories, so I chose the least of many evils.

It's sitting in my stomach like a brick right now. Ew. I hate unhealthy food. From now on, I'll need to bring some back up breakfast options in case they are out of cereal again. What a shame. :)

Of course I was up some weight today, but at least I got to enjoy yesterday. Tonight we are swimming, tomorrow we have kickboxing, and Sunday (depending on my knee and the weather), I would like to go hiking.

We will keep plugging away...

Working out

2009-11-05T10:10:00.000-05:00

Our trainer had us start out our workout with 10 mins of cardio yesterday to get us warmed up. I was so aggravated for being up 6 lbs since Sat (7 lbs from the previous Sunday), feeling like junk, etc... as I sat there on the treadmill, I kept repeating the following verse in my head:

This sucks
I'm fat
This won't change
Any of that

LOL - very motivating. ;)

So you have an idea of where I was when my workout started yesterday... but I must tell you, by the end of the workout, I felt great. I love those endorphins! :) I sweat a ton, I did things I didn't know I could, I had FUN, and it was just a really good thing. I needed that.

In fact, we're thinking of setting up 4x/week sessions with her. It's a lot of money, but I love it, and I think it could really work for us. That way, we'll have our 4 weekly workouts set, and then we'd just have to do one day/week on our own - we can take the other 2 days off if we want, or not.

After our workout, Stephanie and Carolyn had us over for a wonderful Chicken Marsala dinner. It was a WW recipe, and it was fantastic! Unfortunately, I've been so tight this week, I couldn't keep any of it down. Before dinner, I was starving, so I had 4 crackers with 3 pieces of cheese. That was my dinner, and that is probably why I was down 6 lbs today.

I know how I've been lately which means I'll be up some or all of it again tomorrow, only so I can lose it all again in a few more days, but for today, I'm going to be happy knowing I'm down 10 lbs from 2 weeks ago, and my goal to lose 80 lbs is currently down to 70.

For those of you who have been asking about a fill - I don't have an update. I need to schedule an appointment, but right now I'm not feeling a sense of urgency because I've been so tight lately - I have trouble getting anything normal down.

I had a single serving bag of popcorn for breakfast today because I knew it would go down. I am sure a fill won't hurt, but I'm not having trouble sticking to my calories, so I don't know what difference it will make. I feel a good amount of restriction, and I keep to under 1000 calories/day... I guess 600 would be better...

Anyway, for today, I'm happy. When I gain today's loss back tomorrow, I won't be. :) Heads up!

Life at 96

2009-11-04T12:29:00.000-05:00

I think I hurt my back at the gym on Monday...the part that I fell on last year. It started to really bother me last night, and today it's just bad.

Kickboxing should be interesting tonight - my back is killing me and I forgot my knee brace. It shouldn't matter too much about the knee brace because I think we are focusing on arms and chest, but I'm worried about hurting my back even more. Oh well!

Not only am I not losing weight, but exercising is causing me injury and pain. I'm not really seeing an upside to all this. ;-)

I was up 3 more lbs today. That's up a total of 6 from the weekend. I know I must be starting to PMS, because I'm bloated for no reason, extra tired, sore and more aggravated by this all than I normally would be.

I'm not sure that knowledge is helping, though. :)

The other red meat

2009-11-03T07:43:00.000-05:00

Bison, baby. Have you tried it? It's good!

Darcy and I picked up some ground bison from our local organic market, and we had it mixed in with some whole grain acine de pepe and just a touch of light butter. It was delicious. Did you know bison has half the fat and calories of cows? It's tastey, tender, and good for you!

All bison are naturally grass fed, so think outside of the box, and give it a try! Your mouth, heart, and waist will thank you.

:)

Ain't that the truth

2009-11-03T07:39:00.001-05:00

Yesterday was exhausting. It was a *crazy* day at work, and by the time I got home, I was completely exhausted. I had dinner and headed out to the gym. My plan was to do arms/chest for 30 mins, and then head to the pool for my 40 minutes of cardio. I only made it through the first half of the plan.

It was all I could do to get through the exercises. I don't know why, but I had ZERO energy. When I got home from the gym, I was largely non-verbal for the rest of the night. I tried to do some homework, but I keep having a problem with my computer, so I'm unable to complete one of the assignments I've been working on forever. Aggravating.

I curled up on the couch and watched tv, and headed up to bed at 8:56. I'm feeling on the tired side again today, and I have no idea why. I don't feel sick, my allergies aren't bothering me, I think maybe I just need some time to relax. I haven't had that in a while.

I have a crazy busy work week ahead of me, and I think I need some caffeine.

I couldn't keep my lunch down yesterday (I know, ew), so I was starving when I got home. I probably had twice as much dinner as I'm supposed to have, but I was so hungry, I kept eating. I was still under 1000 calories for the day, but of course, we had pasta for dinner, so I didn't lose any of the 3 lbs that I was up yesterday.

I'm down 7 lbs, and I keep losing the same weight over and over and over again. I can't seem to get past it. I have been working out hard and faithfully, keeping my calories low, taking vitamins, getting in tons of water, cutting out empty calories, and still, I feel like I'm trapped in a Bermuda triangle of weight.

It was really hard to get to the gym last night, feeling as tired as I did, and knowing I'm not really losing...but I went...and right now I can't imagine what good it did...although when we do arms/chest with our trainer this week, I know I'll be glad I got a work out in mid week to build my strength up, and I'm hoping I don't have the same reaction as I did last time we did arms/chest. LOL

My sister suggested measuring inches, and I have been, but I haven't seen a difference in those either since a few weeks ago when I saw a pretty good change. I didn't measure inches this week yet, though, so I'll try that tomorrow.

Better than a fribble...

2009-11-02T07:53:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, we were in MA visiting Darcy's new little nephew, and we decided to have a nice Italian lunch. Our favorite place in the area was closed due to renovations, so we went to Felicia's - Alison's fave. I've never been very wowed by Felicia's, but my lunch yesterday was quite yummy. I had Pollo Ponte Veccio - Boneless breast of chicken topped with prosciutto and fontina cheese, sauteed with mushrooms and artichoke hearts in a marsala wine sauce over angel hair pasta.

Yum. I give myself one discretionary calorie day/week, and that day was yesterday. I can't believe how big their portions are. I have a rule that if I get something unhealthy at a restaurant, I eat a small portion in the restaurant, and I don't take the left overs home with me. I probably got through a quarter of the meal, and then I had them throw away the rest. I felt really bad - you couldn't even tell I'd eaten any of it...but I had!

The waitress looked at me in a pouty way, asking me if I was sure I couldn't take it with me - there was so much left! I told her (in a nice way) that their portion sizes are way too big. Seriously - why in the world would a meal need to be THAT big. It's such a waste of food - do American's really still choose restaurants based on portion sizes?

I remember being younger, hearing older people talk about how great a certain restaurant was because of portion sizes, but I think we're all a lot more health conscious now than we used to be, so why are the portion sizes still so big?? I prefer a nice, appropriate sized, high quality food serving, and I'm not at all impressed by big food sizes. It's wasteful and disgusting.

I know most people like leftovers, and that's probably somewhat of a draw, but why eat an unhealthy meal more than once? Wasn't once enough? I don't get it.

Someday, if/when I have a restaurant, I'm going to serve high quality foods, grass fed, local, chemical free, nothing processed, appropriate portions and nutrition information readily available. I wish there was a restaurant like that near me now.

Anyway, it was a nice change of pace to have a nice Italian meal. I watched my portions, but I ended up at about 1350 calories for the day yesterday. As my sister suggested, I should spike my calories once/week to keep my metabolism guessing. I think that can be a good idea, as long as I don't get carried away.

Naturally, I was up 3 lbs today, but I knew I would be - pasta makes me bloated. I'm sure it will be gone tomorrow, and hopefully, I can get back down to my low point from last week, and then lose more from there.

Grrrr.

2009-11-01T08:44:00.000-05:00

So, one week ago, I weighed one lb less than I do today. Yup, I've gained a lb this past week. I didn't even have dinner last night, and I'm still not down to my low point.

For a recap, last Sunday AM, I hit a low that I hadn't hit in months. Last Monday, I was up 6 lbs from that low. It took me the past week to re-lose (once again) 5 of those 6 lbs, and I'm still not as low as I was last week.

This is actually quite annoying. I think I am going go to have a fribble now.

Let's get Jolly!

2009-10-31T07:41:00.000-04:00

I have been eating the Orville R's Smart Pop 100 calorie single serving bags of popcorn for 2 years now. They are a nice, light snack, and it was a good way to get in 4 grams of fiber, which is always a tricky one for me to stay on track with.

Someone in my office has been making this Jolly Time popcorn for months now, and it smelled so good - I assumed it was full fat. Just last week - she told me it was only one point, so I looked at the nutrition information, and saw it has 9 grams of fiber!! It's made with whole grain corn.

Darcy picked me up a box, and let me tell you - it's one thousand times better than that cardboard I had been eating all along. It's still clearly a light popcorn, and the serving size is small, but it's quite tasty, and a great source of natural fiber! I'm sold.

I can't seem to lose weight. I was about the same weight today (possibly 1 lb higher) than I was last Saturday. I know I'm down 8-9 lbs in the past week and a half, but I was down that weight last Saturday. It's not fun to work so hard and to not see a change in the scale.

I'm focusing on the positive, though. My clothes are fitting better, I'm hardwired to workout each day, and I know if I stick with it, I'm going to see results eventually. I'm on the express train to fitness...my body just hasn't gotten the memo yet. ;-)

I ended up doing 30 mins of yoga only yesterday - no swimming. My arms were so bad, Darcy wanted me to go to the hospital - LOL. By the end of the day, I couldn't touch my right arm to my face at all. Thank God for that hot tub - the 15 minutes I spent in there were the only reprieve from the constant pain that I had all day.

My arms were so tight, they were emitting tons of heat. Today, they are still very sore, but they aren't as bad as yesterday. I'm going to the store in a few minutes to pick up some advil. Hopefully that will help a bit.

Today is a full day: errands - now, kickboxing/training at 10, then homework (lots, yuck), work work, visit little baby boy!, clean house, see Brooke - when can I fit in apple picking??? :)

There are truly never enough hours in the day!

Oooooooooooooooooow

2009-10-30T09:34:00.001-04:00

(Can't do pics on the blog on Friday's - the PC I use is missing something.)

I thought I was sore yesterday, but that was NUTTIN compared to today. I could barely wash my hair - it hurts so much to bend my arms.

I was in a meeting first thing this morning, and I had an itch on my face. I was trying to bring my hand up to my face to scratch it, and it hurt so bad, it took forever to get there. I can't imagine what I must have looked like. LOL

I skipped my work out yesterday. I didn't want to, but it just happened. My arms were very sore, and my knee was really bothering me so I figured if I was going to take a day off (which I know I need to from time to time), it was a good day.

That is what I thought before I met today. Today, my knee is still completely stiff, and I can't move my arms. I can't take 2 days off in a row, so I'm open to suggestions from my readers!

Swimming is out. There's no way my arms will make it. I'm thinking exercise bike, but I have to be somewhat careful with my knee because we are doing legs with our trainer in the AM, and I want to be in good shape (as much as possible) for that.

Today is going to be a calorie challenge. I already accidentally had frosted flakes for breakfast,

PAUSE

How does one accidentally eat a sugary breakfast cereal for breakfast? In the building I work in on Friday's, there is a vending machine that has cereal and milk, even skim milk. I love this because if I'm running late, I can get a healthy breakfast here.

It was too early for me to eat breakfast before leaving for my meeting at the hospital, so when I got into this office after that, I went to the vending machine to get cereal. There are usually quite a few options, but today, they only had corn flakes and frosted flakes.

I used to LOVE frosted flakes as a kid. This is a weird vending machine. You put the money in, and then press the mechanical arrows to get the food to rotate around. When your selection is in front of you, you slide open a little window and take it out.

For some reason, I thought if I left the window open, I could put my selection back and keep browsing. Ah, no.

So I pulled out the FF to see the nutrition information, and they had 70 more calories than the corn flakes - *not* worth it to me at all. I tried to put them back, but it wouldn't let me.

Now, as a person who wastes far too much money, I don't know why it didn't occur to me until just now, as I type, that I could have just bought the corn flakes too and left the frosted flakes for someone else to take off the counter. I'm an idiot.

So with the skim milk, my breakfast was 300 calories. I'm usually around 150, so now I'm starting off in the hole.

We are having lunch today at La Caretta's, which means I'll get my steak taco salad that I adore. It's not terrible for you, but red meat is high in calories, cheese and sour cream add up quickly too.

I already have a strategy, and I've already put my calories in for my lunch:

I'm going to set aside 3 oz of red meat and put the rest on another plate, I'm going to eyeball one oz of cheese, 1/4 cup of sour cream and put the remaining cheese and sour cream on the other plate as well. It will still then be a 477 calorie lunch, which is much higher than usual, but we are going to have salad and sushi for dinner, so my dinner will be less than 200 calories, and it will all work out to a 937 calorie day, unless I am hungry for a snack, and then I'll have a banana.

Yes, TJ, it does take a lot of planning to make this all work.

LOL

Last night I did something I never do - I had a snack at 9:30.

I had dinner at 4:45, got my hair cut, met up with Brooke, and ended up spending more time with her than originally planned. By 9:30, I was starving, so I had a 100 calorie bag of popcorn.

I was up 8 lbs last night as compared to the morning, and I was very annoyed, but this morning, the 8 lbs were gone and I weighed the same weight as yesterday morning, so I'm still down 9 lbs total.

My weight fluctuation is ridiculous, and yes, I weigh myself too much.

It's official

2009-10-29T09:44:00.000-04:00

I bought the gloves, so I must be serious about this kickboxing thing. :) That's what my instructor said last night - she must not know how I operate. Purchase does not equal commitment, sadly.

However, I'm *really* enjoying the workouts. She's great to work out with - she pushes us hard, but not too hard. I keep thinking I can't possibly do the next thing she's asking me to do, but I can! Working out with a GOOD personal trainer can make all the difference - especially if you aren't a pro.

She doesn't just show us how to use the machines or teach us exercises, she watches us, making sure we're doing it right, encouraging us when it's hard, ensuring our techniques are correct...that's how it should be. As we were wrapping up our session last night, a kickboxing class was starting.

It was a nice reminder of how far away I am from being ready to join one of those classes, but I do think that I could be ready after our 6 weeks of sessions with her. I felt better in just half a week of doing her perscribed workout, and I'm hoping that by Saturday, I'll be even that much closer.

I am having trouble typing today because it hurts my biceps - lol - but I'll make it.

If you are struggling with getting into a good routine, I can't say enough about the worth of a good trainer.

Chicken Tacos

2009-10-29T07:43:00.000-04:00

We had chicken tacos for dinner last night - easy to prepare, and always a yummy and fun treat! We used the left over chicken from our chicken dinner this weekend and prepared the chicken chunks in taco seasoning. For sides, we had salsa (always fat free), fresh tomatoes (phenomenal, as they should be for $3/each), lettuce, low fat cheese, and Fage fat free greek yogurt, in place of sour cream.

We used the organic, wheat free, corn tortillas, which were 120 calories for 2. I think 2 tacos worked out to be about 300 calories.

I am the biggest loser

2009-10-29T07:36:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, we had a *great* workout. First, our trainer started us off with weight trainings for arms (and boy, are they throbbing today!), and then we did kickboxing. I overexerted, and my knee was really sore by the end of the work out.

We got home at 6, had *delicious* chicken tacos (will post more on that later), and we settled in to watch the Biggest Loser, taped from the night before. I think the show is ridiculous and irresponsible, as I've said before, but I still like to see how hard they push the contestants, because it makes me think that I can work out just as hard.

In that line, they were showing this very fit contestant jumping up onto a high platform. It was *really* impressive. I decided that I should try jumping on my ottoman, even though my knee was sore. I thought - if that guy can jump onto a 3 foot platform (without a running start), I should be able to jump up on my 1 foot high ottoman.

Of course, I was already exhausted from my workout, but I just had to try. I jumped up with all my might, and at the last minute, while I was up in the air, I chickened out, and put my knees underneath my body and my whole weight landed on my knees as I landed, kneeling, on the ottoman. LOL - Darcy couldn't fathom what had possessed me to land on my knees like that, even when I explained to her that I had chickened out.

I heard a nice crunch, and obviously, I hurt my knee even more, which is why I am truly, the biggest LOSER. I should have iced it, but it didn't even occur to me. We went in the hot tub last night, so that was heaven for our sore muscles.

The good news is, I don't think I did anything majorly wrong to my knee. It's stiff and sore today, but I have a feeling it is going to heal just fine by tomorrow or Saturday (hopefully by Saturday because we're focusing on legs!).

I have *no* idea when I'm going to fit my work out in today. I realize that I can take a day off, but I really don't want to. At the very least, since my body is in pain, I want to do swimming. It's a great cardio workout if you push yourself constantly, and I do. It's also very low impact on the joints. I may even swim without using my injured leg tonight.

I have a very busy work day, followed by a hair appt at 5:15, and sometime after that and before 7, I think I'm going to see Brooke briefly, who is home for a weekend visit, and then I have to watch a movie for school so that I can write a paper that's due tomorrow, plus a bunch of other homework.

If Brooke isn't able to meet me between 6-7, that's when I'll work out, but if she is, then I'm thinking I'll head to the pool at 7, be home by 8, watch the movie from 8-10 and write the paper while I'm watching it, as well as doing the other homework while the movie is on. It can work.

I've been trying to be in bed by 10 so that I can get the rest I need to be healthy and energized. It's hard to do, but it seems to be working. I just need to figure out when in the world I'm fitting dinner in to all of this. Brooke is meeting other friends for dinner at 7:30, so I can't do dinner with her, although that would be quite convenient!

I think I'll have to get home by 4:40 - change, eat an early dinner from 4:50-5:10 and then be at the hairdressers for 5:15.

TJ commented recently that he can't believe how much planning goes into this dieting thing. LOL. No kidding!!! That's why when I had all the success, I had to make losing weight my top priority, and when I wasn't able to, I stopped losing.

I'm hoping that maintaining won't be quite so much work, but that's a long ways off!

Today I was down 4 lbs from yesterday, so I'm down 9 lbs total since last Wednesday.

Oy.

2009-10-28T07:51:00.001-04:00

I was up 2 lbs from yesterday, so my one week anniversary of being fitness and nutrition crazy leaves me at 5 lbs lost - during the week, at my lowest point, I was down 11 lbs. 5 lbs in one week is not a bad thing...11 is better.

Last night, I got home from work at 8PM, and it was my day off from working out (according to my trainer), but somehow, I felt like my day wasn't done until I got my workout in. LOL - TJ has been saying this mantra to me for 2 years now, and the fact that I worked out 7 days in a row without a break must finally be allowing the concept to seep into my brain.

I really wanted to go for a swim, so I got 30 minutes of cardio in last night, swimming at a good clip. I got home around 9:10, watched 30 minutes of TV and was in bed by 10. I woke up today feeling pretty well rested. I think I'm rounding the corner on these allergies, and the medicine definitely helped with the sinus infection.

Yesterday, I was very busy, and I consumed 735 calories. I didn't eat anything after 5:30 pm, and I was very cautious about my sodium. Last night, I weighed myself, and I weighed 2 lbs more than I did in the AM, which appeared to be good news because I usually weigh 3-4 lbs more at night than I do in the AM, so I thought it was safe to say I would be down at least 1 -2 more lbs today.

Somehow, when I got up this morning, I weighed the same as I did last night! That never happens. I don't know what's going on - if it's muscles growing, or all the water I'm drinking...if it's the vitamins I've just started taking...I'm going to talk to my trainer tonight, but I know she's not a nutritionist, and she's just going to say I need to consume way more calories than I'm taking in now...but every time I've done that, I've gained...no thanks.

So here I sit...eating a disgusing Kashi trail mix bar for breakfast. Some people like them - I hate them. I eat things I don't like if they are healthy. I realize not everyone feels as though they are able to do that, so I guess that's bully for me!

I like eating healthy and working out regularly. I feel much healthier, so even though I'm not seeing as much of a difference on the scale as I would like, and even though I appear to be gaining weight for no reason, I'm staying the course, and I know it will start to work soon enough. 5 lbs down in one week is nothing to ignore.

(11 lbs would be better. LOL)

Monday's don't deserve to be this yummy

2009-10-27T09:21:00.000-04:00

We had dinner at one of our neighbor's houses last night, and it was so good, I'm still in awe! They know we are planning a trip to Tuscany, so the night had a Tuscan theme. We started out with a salad of mixed greens, scallions, pear, pomegranate seeds, and goat cheese. It was so flavorful! I'm sometimes shy about mixing fruits with vegetables, but this combination was delightful and a flavor sensation.

The entree was actually from a Cooking Light Recipe, but our host prepared it even better by using pappardelle (I think) wide noodles. This recipe includes porcini mushrooms, shallots, an exotic mushroom blend, minced garlic, chunks of Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese, heavy whipping cream, fresh sage, truffle oil, etc... It was to die for. I kept my portion fairly small, so it was about 400 calories. I can't imagine what the full fat version would be. This was one of the best meals I have had in a long time. If you try the recipe (as I'm going to), let me know what you think!!

Of course they offered us dessert as well, and they served us creamy gourmet vanilla ice cream topped with melted mexican chocolate and fresh strawberries. LOL - it was sinfully delicious, and *not* a cooking light recipe. I have been avoiding empty calories, but this was well worth the exception. I kept my portion size small, and my calories for the day yesterday were about 1250 - a miracle considering this dinner I had.

Let me tell you - Tuesday is going to have a lot to live up to at this point. ;-)

We managed to get our work out in before the dinner. We went to the pool, and I got about 45 minutes of cardio in - I also did all the rest of the work out in the pool. Combining my cardio with the rest of the exercises is probably cheating, but as sore as I was, and as little time as I had, I did my best. Today is a day of rest for me, according to my trainer, but I may get 30-40 minutes of swimming in. It's low impact, a good calorie burner, and it won't throw me off for my training tomorrow. Plus, I still have calories to burn from last night. :)

This week is full of challenges for me. I have a business lunch today at Friday's, of all places. Friday's is terrible about sharing their nutrition information, so I only have a very limited selection to choose from, based upon the few dishes I can find the nutrition information for. I think I will order the turkey burger on a whole wheat bun (410 calories) with no cheese or mayo, and I will use mustard to make it wet enough to swallow. I'll eat half of that and have a side salad instead of fries. Salad (and light dressing) + half the burger will put me at about 300 calories for lunch, which is fine. I probably won't like the food, but I'll get the protein, whole grains and veggies in that I need, so that's what counts.

I have a lot of work to do today, so I'm planning to work late, get a swim in, get started on some homework, and then have an hour to relax before I go to bed and start this whole thing all over again.

I was down 3 of the 6 lbs I was up from yesterday, so I'm officially down 8 lbs for the past 5 or 6 days, and I'm hoping to be down the other 3 tomorrow, to have an 11 lb loss for week 1. Then I'll totally feel like a legit biggest loser contestant. ;-)

Healthy Comfort Food

2009-10-26T09:17:00.000-04:00

We had the girls over for dinner on Saturday night, and I read them a list of choices from my meal plan for the week to see what they wanted me to make. They picked the chicken dinner. A chicken dinner can be very high in fat and calories, but it doesn't have to me.

First off, by purchasing grass fed, free range, antibiotic free chicken, you are skimming up to 1/3 of the fat and calories over the grain fed versions right there alone...not to mention that depending upon the chicken/brand/etc, you will be getting 2-4 times the Omega-3s.

Normally, I make a chicken dinner with mashed potatoes, corn, and gravy, made from the drippings...and don't forget about the rolls with butter... Instead, we started off with a garden salad, and then I baked a roasted vegetable medley with sweet potatoes, carrots, onions, garlic and some white potatoes. That way, you're getting a much smaller portion of the white potato, and you're mixing it in with the much healthier carrots and sweet potatoes, while still getting that comforty starch.

For gravy, I didn't use any of the drippings - I purchased gravy that was low in fat and calories, and I watered it down a little bit and seasoned it, so it was light, but tasty, and that was our meal. I pan roasted 2 trays of veggies before cooking the chicken, and I seasoned them with thyme, ground pepper, garlic salt, garlic powder, onion powder, fresh basil, dried basil and oregano. They came out fantasic. When the chicken only had 30 minutes left, I combined one pan of the roasted vegatbles in with the chicken to cook in the juices, but I chose to eat the veggies that didn't soak in any of the chicken - they were plenty flavorful without the little bit of added fat.

The girls couldn't get over what a delicous meal it was, and how healthy it was. They also commented on the difference they could taste in the chicken. I was delighted to have company over for a very healthy meal that passed the taste test!

Oooooooooooooooooooowwwwww

2009-10-26T07:51:00.000-04:00

The kickboxing work out was awesome. She really kicked our butts! I loved it, though. When I got out of bed yesterday morning, it felt like every muscle in my body was throbbing.

Our trainer emailed me a workout routine for us to do in the off days when we're not with her, so yesterday, stiff and sore, I muscled through her work out again. She told us to take Tuesday off from working out, so that we'll be rested up when we see her on Wednesday, but I may have to take today off.

It hurts to type. LOL. It hurts to sit in my chair. We'll see how the day goes, but I will probably just push on through and get the work out in today and take tomorrow off.

Have you jump roped recently? I don't know about you, but I find it extremely difficult and impossible to catch my breath. LOL - I can't believe that was fun for me when I was younger. She has us jumping rope, doing push ups, sit ups, and all these other kicks and punches, and on top of all that, 40 minutes of cardio each day.

I used muscles I hadn't used in a *long* time, and they are making noise now!

I should have blogged yesterday. I started to, but I lose the oomf. Yesterday I was down 2 more lbs for a total of 11 lbs in 2 days, bringing me down to 69 lbs to lose. It was very exciting. :)

Today, I'm up 6 lbs from yesterday. Huh??? It's so annoying. I think it's a combination of a few things: I had to get up extra early today, so I weighed more than I did yesterday when I got up 3-4 hrs later than I did today, I most likely had too much sodium yesterday, I had some potatoes yesterday, and they make me bloated, and I'm just destined to be fat. Just kidding on the last one, but seriously - I've been working out *so* hard, and I've been perfect with my eating - to see the scale jump that much in one day is completely annoying.

Anyway, I'm going to watch the sodium very closely today, and hopefully the 6 lbs will be gone tomorrow. I've gained and lost these same lbs enough - can't I just move past this part?

Oh, and yesterday, I hit a lower number on the scale than I'd been in months. I felt like I was finally getting somewhere!...until this morning...

For some reason, I didn't sleep well last night. Knowing I had to get up extra early, I should have gone to bed earlier, but I'm too addicted to Dexter to not watch it, and I have to watch something after it so I don't have nightmares. I was in bed by 11, but I was tossing and turning all night. When I did fall asleep, I had really annoying, depressing dreams - so unlike me!

I have major luggage under my eyes today, and I need some caffeine in a big way. I have *so* much work to do, and I can't stay late today, because we have a lake association dinner tonight at 6ish, and I need to get my hour+ long work out in ahead of time.

Today is a day I'd like to fast forward through. I know I should treasure every day of my life, but today is one of the days that's the dig before you find the treasure. :)

Sushi Sabotage

2009-10-24T08:24:00.003-04:00

We had phenomenal sushi last night. Well, I had 2 pieces. I had planned to eat 3, but Stephanie ordered a delicious, fattening "ocean roll" which was crab and shrimp with a bunch of tempura mixed in, and all sorts of naughtiness, so even though one bite size is fairly small, I figured it counted for at least 2 pieces of sushi. Since I had only budgeted 3 pieces in my journal, I stopped eating at that point.

I had a salad with oil free ginger dressing before the sushi came out, and I skipped out on the vegetable tempura, so all in all I think I did fine. I requested the low sodium soy sauce, as I usually do, and I didn't think anything of using it.

Later last night, it occurred to me that I should have skipped the soy sauce altogether. After all, we were eating at 7:30 PM which is a no-no to begin with - the last thing I need is to add is sodium at that hour! Oh well, I'm still retraining myself, and there will be opporutnites for improvement along the way. Even the type A's have a learning curve! :)

After sushi, we went to the arcade. I tried to pick the active things to do: basketball, soccer, dance-dance-revolution, even skee ball is better than just standing in front of a machine, so that's how I spent the night. Stephanie wanted to do the pedestal jousting, and Carolyn didn't, so I did it with her (pictures to be uploaded soon!).

I can't tell you what a work out it is for us fatties! I think it seriously gave me an asthma attack. I don't know if it's because the gear weighs you down, or because you aren't on solid ground, but it's exhausting. Stephanie and I were both ridiculously out of breath. I can't wait to try it again when I've lost a good chunk of weight to see the difference.

So last night went as planned - I came home from work and had my protein/whole grain small snack that held me over quite well until our late (for me) dinner at 7:30. I went to the gym, and I fought being there the whole time. I was feeling so run down and tired - it took me 4 cardio machines to get my 35 minutes in. LOL. At the 20 minute mark, I really wanted to quit, but I told myself if I didn't get at least 30 minutes of intense cardio in, it doesn't count as a work out so I'd have to consider it my day off for the week, and I certainly wasn't willing to do that after already fighting to put 20 minutes in, so I kept on to the 35 minute mark.

At our late dinner, I was careful to consume only 150 calories, so even though I had to eat late, I kept it to a minimum. I was worried about the scale today. The combination of eating after 7 and having soy sauce after 7 was worrying me that I was going to gain weight. I know that weight fluctuates, but I've been trying *so* hard to eat perfectly, work out faithfully, incorporate more movement and exercise into my day...it's just too early for a set back.

Thankfully, my fears were not realized, and I was down 2 lbs today. I'm down 9 lbs in 3 days, and I think the overall picture is looking good at this point. So my goal was to lose 80 lbs by 8/12/10. I'm down 9, and I have 71 to go. I'm thinking I can make this work!

I'm *really* looking forward to my kickboxing training today. I have a 1 hour workout scheduled with our new personal trainer, and I am looking forward to her kicking my butt and helping me to develop a daily workout regimen that will maximize my opportunity for weight loss.

On the food front for today, I have designtated today as my one day this week that I can have empty calories within reason. I still wouldn't want to exceed 1200 calories for my "high" day at this point, and I may not choose to have any, but I know that making yourself feel deprived is a recipe for disaster, so if I want to have a little treat, God love me, I can. :)

My meal plan for today:
Caration Instant Breakfast shake with banana: 250 calories
3 oz beef, whole grain pilaf and salad for lunch: 300 calories
Veggies and hummus for afternoon snack: 70 calories
Vegetable rice with chicken for dinner (1 c rice, 3oz chicken): 350 calories

Total calories for the day (without empty calories so far): 970

There goes that number, creeping up! Yesterday 930, today 970. I'm working out for an hour today, so I think it will be fine, but I'm watching that scale!

Hungry!

2009-10-23T15:07:00.001-04:00

My personal trainer asked me to bring in a food journal, which was no problem since I record everything in fitday. I just printed up the past 3 days (including today through the end of the day - even though the day isn't over yet, I know exactly what I'm going to eat, so I'm all set.)

On Wednesday, I think I was still full from over-eating the day before, so I was fine with my 660 calories. Yesterday, I stuck to 860, but I was hungry off and on, and especially a bit hungry at night. Today, I'm planning to consume 930 calories.

I seem to be moving in an upward direction. I'm wondering if my metabolism is making me hungry because of the work outs, or if today is just a hungrier day than the past two.

For breakfast, I had sugar free carnation instant breakfast. For snack, I had a banana, for lunch, I had a Kashi frozen meal. I've been hungry since 1:30. I just bought a diet coke to wake me up and hold me over. It's working a little bit. We aren't going to have dinner until 7 or later, so when I get home from work, I plan to have 2 oz of steak and 2 tablespoons of whole grain pilaf to hold me over. For dinner, I'll have 3 pieces of sushi and a salad with ginger (oil free) dressing.

As you can see, there are no empty calories in the mix, but still, I'm pressing up against 1000 calories for the day. I'm not going to worry about it just yet. We'll see how it goes when I step on the scale in the morning. If I'm losing by only eating essential foods when I feel hungry, I'll stick to that plan.

If I'm not losing, I'll know it's time for a fill!

Also, it took me 45 minutes to get through my lunch. I was full, but I kept eating it, slowly. I'm thinking that I should start splitting up my lunch into 2 smaller meals. Then I can probably make the food stretch longer. I'll let you know how that goes. :)

I have some weight to lose :)

2009-10-23T08:30:00.001-04:00

I just looked at my weight chart on fitday for the past year. If I were measuring earnings, I would be in great shape, because they have been on the rise, my friends! :)

Sadly, I'm measuring weight, and my graph looks like I'm climing a mountain. There are all these ups and downs, but they hover around the same places-ish, and then there are month long gaps when apparently I didn't update my weight, and at the end of the breaks, I'm up at least 15 lbs each time. Then I start doing the daily weigh ins and the number goes down a bit, but then another lag in the weigh ins, another 15 lb spike, and we do the dance all over again.

Wasn't it George Santayana who said, "Those who cannot learn from history are doomed to repeat it?"

I need to study my past so I can learn from my past. I'll take on my pre-lap band past at another time, but for now, I'm going to focus on the past two years.

I was a model lap band student for a loooong time. I hit my lowest weight in August of last year. At the same time, I started getting really sick with my gallbladder issues. I couldn't work out, I was sedentary, I ended up eating whatever foods didn't make me sick, and they weren't always the healthy ones, and I started to gain.

I knew I was gaining, and I just tried to focus on getting well, and I knew that once I had my gallbladder removed and I healed, I could focus on losing weight again. Somehow during that time period, however, I lost some of the momentum on all the great habits I had adopted. I stopped working out regularly, I stopped following the lap band guidelines...three months later when I finally started up with fitday again, I had put on probably 15 lbs.

I injured my back falling down icy stairs, signed up with a personal trainer, injured it more, and ended up being very limited on my workout for months. I couldn't work out, but I needed to focus on the food. In an effort to find a new track to be on, since I had somehow landed off of mine, I joined WW. I followed WW for three months, and gained another 15 lbs (plus or minus other gains and losses along the way).

I've been off WW for months now, and I've had a hard time getting back to the place I was when I was so focuses and the stars were aligning - I was working out regularly, eating the way I was supposed to, and losing at a good, but healthy, clip.

Averaging the 1200 calories per day wasn't doing me any favors, and I think I really need to cut that back for now, at least until my body remembers how to lose weight again. I'm going to watch my nutrients very closely, and I can't imagine that if I get enough protein, carbs, and fats in every day for 600 or 800 calories, that filling in an extra 400-600 calories with extras is going to do my body any favors. I think that when they tell us to eat 1200 calories/day - it's based upon averages that tell us that we'll get in enough protein, carbs and fats/day if we consume 1200 calories. If we can do the same for less, why not?

I've been using my band again, and listening to it. I've been eating much more slowly, and it's taking me 30 minutes to get through dinner, the way it should. I'm not coating all my food with wetness to get it in faster, which was a bad habit I had developed along the way. I'm not choosing softer foods that give me less trouble either. All of those things work against the band.

Maybe I could use a fill, maybe not - I'm going to see how it goes with me listening to my band for a week or so. If I'm not having too much trouble dropping to 600-800 calories/day, then I think the thing must still be working, and it was me that was broken, not it.

I'm down another 3+ lbs today. I started my resurgence (again) this week with a decided 80 lbs to lose. I'm down 7. I have 73 to go. That's not so bad. :)

I'm sure to some people, that sounds like a lot, but to me, it sounds just fine. I know I can do it, and I'm hoping to do it by the arbitrary date of 8/12/10 as TJ predicts. :)

Bring it on

2009-10-23T08:06:00.001-04:00

(Sorry - I work out of a different office on Fridays, and for some reason, this computer doesn't load blogger properly, so I can't add pictures or do anything fancy. Today's picture would have been a really cool one of a very muscular guy, horizontal with one leg extended toward a punching bag. It was a kickboxing photo for those of you in the cheap seats.)

I searched online for an experienced personal trainer, and I also looked for kickboxing classes - I heard they are an amazing cardiovascular work out. As luck would have it, I found a personal trainer who specializes in kickboxing and martial arts, and she does weight loss and cardio training as well.

I met with her last night, and I signed me and Darcy up for lessons starting tomorrow morning! I can already tell this is going to be more worthwhile than my last personal trainer experience. We start off by doing a fitness analysis - she'll see how many crunches, push ups, pull ups (maybe) that we can do, how fast we can run, and just get an overall idea of where we are physically.

After the physical assessment, we will start our first workout. I think this is going to be fun. They also teach martial arts at this gym, so we'll see how kickboxing goes, but I'm thinking I'd like to try karate next. For me, it's highly important to change up my workouts. I can never be one to go on a treadmill every single day, but I am willing to find ways to burn the same amount of calories (or hopefully much more) by changing it up and doing things that are fun for me.

She will give us workouts to do between our 2x/week sessions with her as well, and she's asked us to bring in our food logs for the past few days. I know she's going to tell me I need to eat more, but the last time I added to my calories because my trainer and weight watchers told me to, I gained all this weight, so I'm not inclined to listen to that kind of advice...I'll keep an open mind.

Yesterday I was at about 850 calories for the day. I felt hungry after my swimming, so I had a pickle, a few sugar free pop ice bars (10 calories each) and some tea. It took the edge off...certainly not fun food, though. :) I won't even let myself have the weight watchers treats right now, because I'm cutting out all empty calories.

I know I can't keep this up forever, and I may have one day a week when I let myself have empty calories (not to exceed a certain amount), but I want to make sure I'm on the right track first.

It's Friday night tonight - usually we go out for dinner or hang out with friends, maybe take in a movie (with a popcorn), but it's not an active night for me...that's for sure. Tonight we are going out for sushi with the girls, and I've asked them to go to the arcade after. I'm hoping to do some pedestal jousting, laser tag, rock wall climbing, etc... I'll get my workout in before dinner, but I'm just trying to incorporate as many active things as I can into my life to develop a more active lifestyle...I type with my knee tapping... :)

For tonight's workout, it will just be a boring date with the treadmill, but if my knee is cooperating, I may start off with the elliptical. OOoh.. fun. :) It's okay - I can look forward to my butt kicking kickboxing workout tomorrow AM while I'm bored to tears on the hamster wheel. :)

A wet work out

2009-10-22T20:16:00.000-04:00

I don't know how I did it, but it's 8PM, and I'm done for the day. I must be forgetting something. I left work at 4:30, successfully avoided a killer on the loose one block away (sounds crazy, I know - check out the Union Leader), met with my new personal trainer (more on that later), came home and ate a healthy dinner, went to a nearby hotel and swam laps for 40 minutes, came home and did a bunch of homework, and now I can relax and watch tv (and yet, I'm writing to you). :)

I loved the swim. It was hard work swimming constantly for forty minutes! I felt really good after. I definitely plan to enter a regular agreement with the hotel so I can use the pool whenever I want.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, I'm really hungry.

Food, Glorious Food

2009-10-22T10:10:00.000-04:00

I'm going back to my roots, and it's time to develop a meal plan for the next week. We desperately need groceries, and I want to plan for success, so here goes:

Breakfast Options:
Sugar Free Carnation Instant Breakfast
Multigrain Cereal
Fruit

Lunch:
Leftovers
Kashi all-natural frozen dinners
Blakes organic frozen (mini) meals

Snacks:
Fruit
Veggies
Hummus
High fiber popcorn

Dinner:
Thursday - Teriyaki Steak with mixed veggies and TBD whole grain
Friday - Sushi and Salad with Oil free ginger dressing
Saturday - Vegetable "fried" brown rice with chicken
Sunday - Baked whole chicken with winter vegetable medley and salad
Monday - Chicken tacos
Tuesday - Chicken sausage and roasted vegetables with whole grain orzo
Wednesday - Dinner plans with friends, so probably some type of salad

I'm thankful for my Low Phat cooking blog, as it reminded me of meal ideas I hadn't had in a while!

What healthy meals will you be preparing this week?

The Biggest Loser

2009-10-22T09:18:00.000-04:00

All the people I know who like and watch this show are thin. I've never gotten into it, mainly because I hate reality TV, but on some level, I'm also annoyed by the unrealistic premise. I'm not sure if this is a show that would actually motivate people to lose weight, since their methods and weight loss amounts are unattainable by most.

Making people work out for 6 hrs/day, taking tons of supplements and caffeine pills to "maximize" their workout and weight loss, and being in a cocoon cannot possibly teach the contestants, let alone the at home viewers, how to sustain long term weight loss. It is no wonder that many of the contestants gain the weight back, and I can only imagine the shame they must feel and the lengths they must go to in order to hide their weight gain or the desperations they reach to keep the weight off...with the whole country looking.

Probably, as a big person, I don't like the fact that they lose so much weight so quickly as well. I don't want my thinner counterparts to think there's something wrong with me because I only lose 1 or 2 or 5 lbs/week...that I'm not trying hard enough. Call me crazy, but haven't there been about 4,000 studies that show the slower you lose the weight, the slower you will keep it off? I don't think this is news, and it's the same thing that weight loss surgery candidates need to be wary of as well. The faster you lose, the faster you can gain it back.

I decided to give this show a second shot - to see if I could learn something or find some motivation from it. I had DVR'd Tuesday night's show, and I saw one of the contestants lose 15 lbs in one week, bringing his 6 week total to 87 lbs lost. That's an average of 14.5 lbs lost each week. Don't get me wrong, he's a big boy, but still, are we actually pretending that's healthy? Am I just put off by all of this because I'm jealous? LOL - maybe. :)

As I tried to watch the show again, I was very put off by the reality show framing. I can't stand reality TV shows, so I don't think I'll be able to get "into" watching this show weekly, but the one thing that struck me was the theme that they all pushed themselves so much harder when they had friends to work out with and a trainer pushing them. That was the learning point for me.

I went to the gym last night, and I had kind of a lame workout. I'm still not feeling my best, and I hadn't taken my thyroid meds in a week because I couldn't find them with the construction (I did find and take them this morning, Mom!!), and I was weak. I also limited my calories to 660 yesterday, so perhaps that was part of it, but I honestly doubt it. I still got 50 grams of protein in, and some good whole grains and fruits and veggies.

The last time I used the treadmill, I set it to 3.7, and I would spike it up from time to time. My heart rate was between 140-160 which is just where it should be, and I did about 30 minutes. Last night, my shins were killing me, my knees were wobbley, and I kept it set to 3.2, which is even lamer than 3.7. From time to time, I would jog at 4.1 or 4.5, and at those points, my heart rate jumped to 140, but when I was at 3.2, it was down around 116 to 120 - completely lame. My heart rate wasn't at all challenged, but I did manage to work up a decent sweat. I put in 25 minutes on the treadmill and 10 minutes on the bike. I wanted to do a lot more, but my body was just not functioning properly.

I did extra activity yesterday, like I talked about. I didn't bob my knees up and down because it just didn't occur to me, but I made unscheduled trips to my car to get things I would normally wait to bring in the next day - I walked up and down all the aisles at home depot while I waited for my paint to be mixed - I went up and down the stairs at home each time I forgot something, rather than just deciding I didn't need it (LOL).

Yesterday morning, I had gained those 9 lbs back that I had just lost, since I fed my cold (far too much) on Monday and Tuesday. That put me back at my all time high of 35 lbs above my lowest weight since banding. Today, I was down 4 of those lbs. I was disappointed, but then I remembered that when I gained those 9 lbs last week, it was for almost no reason at all, but when I gained those 9 lbs between Monday and Tuesday, I had done the actual damage with food. I still have no reason to gain 9 lbs in 2 days, but my metabolism and body is completely messed up from the past few months of being crazy good and then sick and eating junk and then crazy good, and blah blah blah. Now I just need to be crazy good. JK - I just need to be good.

So after remembering the bad food I ate on Monday and Tuesday when I was sick, I remembered that this new 9 lbs wasn't water weight like last week, so 4 lbs in one day is perfectly respectable. I'm not going to focus on the past few months or year. I'm not going to constantly obsess about the fact that I'm re-losing the same weight over and over and over and over again. I'm giving myself a clean slate.

The weight I weighed yesterday was my new high weight. Forget all the weight I lost before. That was forever ago. TJ has predicted that I'll hit my goal weight by 8/12/10. Where did this date come from? I have absolutely no idea, but I'm hoping it's because he can tell the future. :) That would be cool to be at goal in 10 mos. It's possible. I have about 80 lbs to go to my realistic, attainable, sustainable goal weight. 8 lbs/month is on the high side, but if the biggest losers can lose 80 lbs in 6 weeks, I should be able to give it heck in 10 mos.

For yesterday, I cut out all empty calories, and it wasn't as hard as I thought. I'm tapping my feet now...don't I look skinnier already? ;-)

Portion Control

2009-10-21T13:41:00.000-04:00

I had a working lunch with a colleague today. I had my Kashi frozen meal (300 calories), and she had the smallest portion sizes I've ever seen in my life. Her lunch consisted of one chicken wing, probably less than 1/4 cup of fried rice (she must have been having a naughty day!!) and a half cup of yogurt. If you look at her lunch compared to mine, we probably had the same amount of calories. Mine was healthier, and it will stay with me longer, but all I had was a frozen dinner, and still, she had about 1/3rd volume of food as I did.

I've seen her lunches before, and this wasn't an exception. How do you get to the point where you require such a small amount of food? She is very active, and I would say she's quite a healthy person. Is that all we really need to eat to survive?

I've often heard we need 2000 calories/day to live, and that dieters shouldn't go below 1200 - 1500. I also know that my MD told me that as long as I was getting in the right amount of nutrients, it was fine when I was eating 600-700 calories/day. After all, I was getting in plenty of protein, veggies, fruits and grains. Where did these numbers come from? How little is too little?

I know a lot of it depends on how much you expend, and it's also a bad habit to eat too little volume if you can't sustain that level for life, because you'll just gain it back. Still, though, have we just trained our bodies to feel like we need way more food than we really do?

I know all the literature in the US is hyperaware of eating disorders, but I'm just wondering if this 1200 calorie per day minimum is true or if it's nonsense. 1200/day certainly hasn't been doing me any favors. LOL. Couldn't it be that I've stored up enough energy that I can live off less for now??

Eh - we'll see. It's just very interesting watching the habits of these thin creatures. So far, I would say about 10% of the thin people I know/have observed embrace the healthy living eating habits I've been wired to embrace. I'm not sure what that tells us, other than thin doesn't mean healthy, necessarily, but we already knew that...

Skinny makes the clothes look good

2009-10-21T09:59:00.000-04:00

Brad Pitt is a cute boy, no matter what he's wearing. I think we can all agree on that fact. He doesn't always dress the best, though. Last night, I saw him in the movie "The Mexican." He had on dickies and t shirts the whole movie, but because he was so thin and in shape, every thing looked good hanging off his frame, even though the outfits were borderline janitorial.

For us bigger folks to look good, the lighting has to be just right, the angle comes into play, the fabric has to be thick enough not to cling but not so thick that it bulks, the length has to end at just the right point, as to not draw unwanted attention to problem areas, the patterns need to work with us, not against, and the stars have to align for us to look good - if not, we end up looking like Kirstie Alley's tabloid photos. It's not her fault - candid photos are not permitted for those of us with a BMI of greater than 25.

I would love to look like Brad Pitt, but I don't think I'll ever be a thin person. I think I will struggle with my weight for every day of my life, and I think if I'm lucky, I'll settle in somewhere around thick, but not lumpy, and that will be okay. I've been given a lot of gifts, and being thin and fit just WASN'T one of them.

However, to achieve my size 14-16 destiny, I'm going to need to work VERY hard every day...forever. Fun! LOL. The lap band is not a get out of fat free card - it's a tool that can help me limit my portions, and it's also a tool that I can ignore. It's a tool that will work for me for a limited amount of time, but probably not for longer than the first few years. Once I get the weight off, it's up to me to keep it off.

I've gained all this weight back without even trying hard, and sticking to a 1200 calorie/day diet isn't really helping the weight come off too quickly...probably because I lost all the weight eating a 600-700 calorie/day diet. I'm not eating double what I ate to lose the weight the first time - no *wonder* it's being so stubborn. I talked to the MD about this yesterday, and she said I need to make up for the difference with exercise.

She basically said that whether I eat 600 or 1200 calories/day, my fat cells will want to repopulate my body - they don't leave, they just shrink, and the only way I can keep the weight off is to work out HARD every day, or just about every day. If I'm hiking for 30-45 mins at a good pace now, double that and push harder. A little bit of pain is okay in my knees and my back, just be smart about it. She recommended that I sign up with a personal trainer, which I think is a good idea.

The last trainer I had trained me right into an injury, so no more Planet Fitness 18 year old trainers for me. I want to find someone who has done this for at least a decade. We talked about everything I eat and the empty calories I consume. Even if I'm generally sticking to 1200 calories/day, there are empty calories that I need to cut out for now. She said that the hardest part to move past my (growing) plateau will be to re-lose all of the weight I gained back and get past my lowest point, but once I do that, the losing will get easier.

I'm going to be very strict with myself for the next few weeks - cutting out empty calories, taking my vitamins, working out hard and trying to visualize a thin me. She said that big people, even ones who are losing weight, are very different from thin people. Big people (most often) are sedentary except when they are working out. They watch TV more. They sit at their desks without moving. They think of ways to save energy, when they should be looking for ways to expend energy. Thin people figit. They sit at their desks and their tows tap, or their legs swing or their knees pop up and down - all of these things burn calories. If I want to become a thin person, I need to try to mimick these habits.

She's right - TJ and I both multitask while watching TV. I do it by working on my computer or blogging or working on a project while watching TV, and he irons and cleans and tidies. I see the difference! When I'm not feeling well or if I'm exhausted from working a long day, I can block out the housework I have to do and just veg out in front of the TV. TJ is not able to do such a thing. I can remember thinner times in my life where I was the same way. Fat = lethargic = apathetic = fatter.

It's a cycle, and I need to look at this getting thin/ner thing in every area of my life. It's not just a weight thing, it's a life thing. I'm starting to get it...again...

MD Update

2009-10-20T12:07:00.000-04:00

I have a sinus infection - I'll be on antibiotics soon, so hopefully I can't start feeling better soon.

Today

2009-10-16T08:53:00.001-04:00

I'm down 9 lbs from 2 days ago. I think it was just a fluke, but an annoying one. I don't feel well still, any my house is in shambles. I think next week is going to be much better than this week. That's my prediction. :)

Yesterday

2009-10-15T08:06:00.000-04:00

I had to work until 9 last night, so I didn't have dinner until I got home. I can't believe I ate at 9:30 PM, and I was down 4 lbs from yesterday this am. I never eat that late.

However, if I had eaten before 7 as I normally do, I probably would have been back down all the weight, seeing as though it was just some strange fluke of my idiotic metabolism.

Lanie asked about my thyroid, and I was wondering the same. I can't imagine why else I would be so off, and in such a holding/gaining pattern for no reason.

I have an MD appointment next week, so hopefully I can address some of this stuff. It took me 3 mos to get the appointment, so I'm hoping it's not just an intake appointment for them, because I have a laundry list of things I want to address.

I'm still not feeling well, but I haven't gotten full blown sick yet either, so I think that's a good thing...my house is in shambles with the construction and the rearranging of rooms, and there is no where to relax, which is annoying, but who has the time anyway? ;-)

I'm thinking of taking a day off, but I don't think it makes sense to until the construction is done, and I'm not sure when that will be. I better get back to work, because I have a full day, and then a ton of homework to do.

I hope you have a nice day. :)

God wants me to be fat

2009-10-14T09:47:00.000-04:00

That's what I'm starting to think. LOL

I was in such a good groove, and I wasn't losing anything. Then Darcy got sick, and I was super busy, so we didn't have any groceries. I've been eating out for days now, which is never good, even with the right options.

I've been feeling sick for the past few days/week or so, and I've been using too much salt because I can't taste anything. I didn't weigh myself yesterday, but I weighed myself today and I was up 9 lbs since Monday. LOL. That is completely insane.

Completely. It makes me want to throw in the towel. I've reached a new high since losing all the weight, and I am up 35 lbs from my low point today.

I'm trying hard, I'm not losing, I'm gaining tons over tiny mistakes, and I feel like I'm just spinning my wheels. I refuse to gain all my weight back, but I feel like my body is working against me.

I have an appointment with my new PCP next Wednesday, and I'm going to look into all of this with her. I'm also going to have her refer me to an MD around here that can do a fill for me.

Honestly, I just really don't feel well. I'm tired from being sick, even though I'm in bed by 9:30 each night. My face/head is full of allergies. I'm starting to get grumpy. Can you imagine? Me? LOL.

Don't read too much into this pathetic post. I'll get over it as soon as I'm feeling better. Let's just hope that is SOON.

:)

Non update

2009-10-13T08:27:00.000-04:00

I'm not feeling well. I have been fighting something off for over a week now, and it hasn't got the best of me yet, but I'm just really tired, run down, stuffed up, blah blah... I'm having construction done at the house, so that makes everything worse for my breathing.

I didn't work out last night, and once again, it didn't even occur to me, which is bad. I got home from work feeling not so good, and then as the dust and construction particles were flowing into my lungs, I just wanted to get out of there. Darcy and I went out to dinner and to a movie, and I went to bed as soon as I got home.

I felt so out of it when I got up today that I didn't even think to weigh myself, so you know there's something wrong at that point! LOL

Anyway, per TJ's request, I leave you with this picture of Mario Lopez to get you through the day, and inspired to get into shape! Lord knows you won't get that inspiration from me today. ;-)

Oh boy...it's Monday again...

2009-10-12T10:58:00.001-04:00

This weekend FLEW by. I was highly productive, but I didn't really get a chance to rest or relax, and I enjoy my relaxation time very much, so Monday came far too soon for me. It doesn't help that it's a holiday for a lot of other people...but not me.

I am down 6 lbs from 2 weeks ago. I wanted to be down more, but it is what it is. I didn't eat much yesterday, but as a result, I'm starving today...which means I'll probably be up tomorrow. That is my cycle.

I completely forgot to work out yesterday. I was busy all day with Kerry's baby shower, furniture shopping, homework, etc..., and I didn't realize it until I had gotten into bed. Oh well. Today I'll make up for it...hopefully.

I'm not feeling great - I think I'm fighting something off. I appear to have a fever, off and on, and I'm tired and stuffy and achy, but not full blown sick. I hope I can avoid getting whatever Darcy had last week. That did not look fun...at all...

I'm just going to keep plugging away, and look forward to getting thin and in shape. That's my big plan. I do still need to schedule a fill, but even though I haven't had one for a year, I do just fine sticking to my 1200 calories/day. When I was getting fills regularly, I was more like 600-800/day... it may not be a bad idea to try that again. LOL

My new BFF

2009-10-09T08:12:00.001-04:00

The formatting is off today, so no picture for you...so sorry. The picture *would* have been a tape measure. You will have to use your imagination.

For those of you who haven't had your coffee yet, the imagined symbolism is that the tape measure is my new BFF.

I feel like we're getting off to a rocky start on this one today. LOL

The scale is my arch enemy. I'm not even going to get into my tales from the scale this morning, but I will say that in my frustration, I had a moment of clarity.

I remembered that I took my measurements one month ago, and I decided to take them again. I have been tracking them in fitday, so it's easy to see if there are any changes.

There are like 8 different measurements (bicep, forearm, thigh, waist hips, etc...), and over all, I was down 8.5 inches. I was down 1-2 inches on average with most, but my waist and hips stayed the same, which is common with *problem* areas to always be the last to get the memo that we are GETTING IN SHAPE!!!

So even though I'm not speaking to the scale at this time (we're on a break), I'm really glad I thought to take my measurements both last month and today. That is what counts.

The hypochondriac

2009-10-08T16:27:00.000-04:00

I'm terribly afraid that I caught hypochondria. LOL

Everyone around me is sick, and I had the flu shot today, so I feel sick. I'm not sure if it's psychosomatic, or if I'm really just fighting something off and feeling some side effects from the shot...

Hence, the hypochondria.

Either way, I feel completely exhausted and woozy. Tonight may be a night I take off from working out. I hate to do that, but if I need to rest, I need to rest. Perhaps, if it's nice out, I'll just take a nice brisk walk as a happy medium. I don't want to lose momentum.

Hmmmmm.............

The gods must hate me

2009-10-08T08:12:00.000-04:00

There was no change in my weight today. I know I was down 3 yesterday, but that was just down 3 from the 5 I was mysteriously up since Sunday. I was good again. I consumed 1100 calories, I didn't eat after 6PM, I went for a hike...why am I not losing? Perhaps it's because I'm just not a loser. LOL

I give up. I'm throwing in the towel. I'm just destined to be fat.

JK.

I'm no where near feeling like that, but it's not fun working hard and gaining. Obviously.

Let's review: On Saturday, I saw a video of myself, and I knew I needed to immediately get to the gym and step up my work out efforts, use my lap band in a more constructive way, and just double or triple my motivation to lose weight. I was already down 6 lbs from the previous Monday (when I was up from my birthday weekend), and I was hoping to lose 14 more lbs in the next two weeks.

I had a great workout, and by Sunday, I was down 7 lbs. For the past 5 days, I have worked out (hard) every day, stayed under my 1200 calories/day maximum, reduced my sodium intake (dramatically), drank tons of water, and now I'm up 1 lb from Saturday (when this all started), and I'm up 2 lbs from Sunday.

So onward and upward I go, but I just hope I start losing before I get so frustrated that I lose the momentum I have now. I need a carrot to chase.

God love me...

2009-10-07T12:10:00.000-04:00

For some reason, I have always loved turkey legs. I'm definitely a dark meat girl...my taste buds must just *know* that it's less healthy. In dark meat's defense, it's not bad for you - it's just not as low cal and low fat as white meat. For example, a 3.5 oz serving of white meat has 161 calories and 4 grams of fat. The same sized portion of dark meat has 192 calories and 8 grams of fat. It's only a little higher in calories, but it's twice the fat.

No wonder it tastes so much better!

:)

Since I have a pretty low fat diet, I'm certainly not going to worry about 4 grams of fat. They have the same amount of protein, and dark meat is much higher in iron, which I'm short on, so my body must know what it's doing when it craves the dark meat!

I was trying to cook some healthy lunches, so I bought a 3 pack of turkey legs this week, and I cooked them last night. For lunch, I'm having a small turkey leg with fresh green beans. It's a very healthy and light lunch, and it's one that I thoroughly enjoy. Very natural, low sodium, filling and good for me.

I am eating it with my office door closed, however, because I don't need my employees thinking I'm at King Richard's Fair!

In the palm of my hand...

2009-10-07T07:56:00.000-04:00

Choosing joy is seeping into my Phatband blog today..... I've been mildly annoyed that my weight is not cooperating with my efforts, and today, as TJ predicted, I was down 3 lbs. I was slightly frustrated that I'm still up a few lbs from Sunday (since I've been such a good girl), but I decided to be happy with the results instead. Perhaps it's just taking my body a few days to get rid of the pasta bloat - perhaps my body is building muscle from the workouts, and that's throwing the scale off...either way, unless there is something medically wrong with me that is making me gain weight, exercise and healthy, moderate eating will make the weight come off, and apparently I don't get to set the time schedule.

I still want to be down 14 lbs by 10/17. I'm currently 16 lbs away from that goal - LOL. While the scale is moving in the wrong direction, I have been moving in the right direction. Each day I reach for healthy foods with moderate servings, and each day I make sure to work out, I get closer to building good habits. I must say that healthy, moderate eating has been pretty much a habit all along (except when I made exceptions), but working out was the difficult habit, because of all the injuries.

I'm trying to learn from my mistakes, and so far, I'm injury free. I certainly am sore, however! I have really been getting into Wii boxing lately, and my arms and shoulders don't quite know what to make of it all. There is a hotel near my house that does offer a monthly pool usage rental, and I am going to check that out. It's a great cardio exercise (as long as the pace is strong!), and it's very easy on the joints. While I still have a good deal of weight to lose, I need to remember that every extra lb is a liability for injury. Swimming is a good exercise to throw into the mix.

I want to check it out tonight, but I don't think I'll have time with homework and stuff I need to do for my CD, but we'll see... I would like to swim tonight for my workout...

4 for 4

2009-10-06T20:32:00.000-04:00

Since I caught a glimpse of myself on video last Saturday, I have had a good work out four out of four days. Tonight I tried again to get out of it. My arms and legs were sore, I was so tired from allergies, my back still hurt (my boss is finally ordering my new chair!!!), and I was telling myself that one day of rest, from time to time, is okay...but I made myself do it, and I'm glad!

I always feel SO good after working out, and tonight was no exception. I made myself do it, and I felt 1,000 times better after. I have been forcing myself to work out hard and fast enough so that I sweat a lot (and yes, I know that's gross, sorry), and the endorphins released are awesome. I feel energized and great after.

So that's my story. I hope I remember the feeling I have now tomorrow night when I go through this little dance with myself again.

Getting nowhere fast

2009-10-06T07:43:00.003-04:00

Yesterday I did a great job eating healthy, well rounded foods. I was under 1,100 calories for the day, and I got a good work out in...and yet, I was still up 5 lbs this morning. Maybe it wasn't the apple cider...

Last night, I had a small serving of fiber loaded spaghetti and my meat sauce for dinner. I was done eating by 6PM, and I didn't eat anything else for the rest of the night. I really thought I would be down those lbs today, and I'm surprised I wasn't.

I'm wondering if the problem was the pasta, rather than the cider. I measured out one cup of cooked spaghetti, and it was the healthy kind, and then I had it with the meat sauce I made. The sauce wasn't the healthiest sauce in the world, but in moderation, I figured it would be okay. After all, I put in all the calories for it on fitday, and I was still under my daily limit of 1200...

That must be it, though. I've been drinking plenty of water....I am going to skip the fiber in my dinner tonight, and just have a lean protein and veggies to try to get rid of the bloat. Cross your fingers!

Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee

2009-10-05T20:59:00.003-04:00

I wanted to go hiking or kayaking tonight, but by the time I got home from work and had dinner, it was already dark out. I decided to work out with my Wii sports game, and it was actually a GREAT workout. I did several rounds of boxing (in addition to basketball, and a few other sports), and I wore myself out! The boxing was mainly arms, so it was great to know I can do a cardio workout with my arms because some days my legs are tired from hiking the day before, so it's a good option. :)

I know that sounds insane, but I sweat my butt off and was completely winded after several rounds. You get out what you put in to your workouts, and if you give your all, even Wii boxing can be a great workout.

I did fine with my eating today, and I had just under 1100 calories. I'm 3 for 3 (days in a row) with working out, and getting a good workout in, and it's feeling great.

Let's just hope I actually lose weight tomorrow.

The good, the bad, and the ugly

2009-10-05T08:44:00.003-04:00

The good: Yesterday was a beautiful fall day in New England. I made a red sauce that was really more of a bolognese. I used 4 cheese italian sausage (out of casing), ground beef and pork ribs. The sauce was a little on the spicy side, and I loved the little hint of a kick that it had. I like to make a sauce that you can stand your spoon up in, and this one failed to disappoint!

I had a carnation instant breakfast for breakfast, a bit of popcorn as a snack, and a small plate of fiberific spaghetti with sauce (and a small piece of garlic bread). The meal was very filling (and I must say yummy), and I didn't eat anything else for the rest of the day. I consumed 874 calories of food, and I was quite pleased with myself.

After my nice hike with Henry, I relaxed in the hot tub for a bit, and then read a book on the hammock, under the colorful oak tree. When I was finished with that, I went into the house, and settled into a chair downstairs, and had some of the cider I had been brewing all day. It was delicious, and I had quite a nice little fall day.

The bad: While I only ate 874 calories of food yesterday, apparently I drank about 550 calories of cider. Oooooops. In my head, I was thinking it couldn't be that bad - I *never* drink sugary drinks, and I wasn't eating dinner, but I think the cider really bloated me quite a bit. I weighed myself before I went to bed and I was up 11 lbs from the morning. Can you believe how much my weight fluctuates? I swear, I'm a sponge for bloat.

This morning, I was up 5 lbs over yesterday. That is quite annoying since I've been so good, and I forced myself to go on a vigorous hike when I wasn't feeling well. I was so good about eating in moderation, but I think the pasta combined with the cider is just making me retain water. The bloat should be gone by tomorrow.

The ugly: Me! I went to bed around 10:30, and I was so tired that I had trouble falling asleep. When my alarm went off at 6:30 this morning, I was way too exhausted to get up. I changed it to go off at 7. I love working near my house, because I can get ready and get to work within 45 minutes of waking up.

I'm still fighting something off, or dealing with a reaction from the measles vaccine (or both). My face was completely puffy and allergy-rrific this morning, and my eyes looked like I'd been up crying for 3 days.

I brought some chemical filled diet coke with me today, because I have to wake up. I'm trying to keep my chemicals to less than 10% of what I consume, and the only chemical product I will consume today is a few glasses of diet coke. I don't want to get hooked on caffeine again, so I'm very cautious to use it sparingly. On days like these, however, it's really a must if I want to accomplish anything.

*****************************
Onward and Upward: Although I'm not feeling well, and I'm up 5 lbs for (almost) no reason, I know I need to work out that much more. I'd really like to go swimming today for my cardio. I don't think that's going to happen, though. We'll see - I just emailed Darcy to look into a few options for me, so fingers are crossed! If not, depending on the weather, I'll either go hiking or to the gym, or/and use my Wii personal trainer. I will get the work out in, no matter what.

I'm still being very careful with my knees because I can't afford the set back of another re-injury.

That's all for now! I'm hoping for a 6 lb loss (really a net 1 lb loss) for tomorrow!

You gotta do it

2009-10-04T14:16:00.003-04:00

I only got 5 hours of sleep in last night, and I'm a little tired today. My back is bothering me (I think still from my terrible chair at work), so I'm just a little achy and slow moving. It actually turned into a beautiful fall day, and I made a nice big batch of red sauce, and I have spiced cider brewing in the crockpot. The house is filled with wonderful smells, and I'm relaxed in my oversized leather chair with my feet up, watching a movie. All I want to do next is lay on the hammock, underneath the beautiful fall leaves, reading a good book.

BUT I must work out. It's not a choice, it's a must. I've decided that today I'll go hiking for my workout. Now that the sun has decided to come out, I can enjoy the sights and sounds of autumn while getting my daily workout in. It's not quite as appealing as my hammock scenario, but I know it will be rewarding, and plus - I can read my book after!

I was down 1 more lb today. I miss the days of being down 3 lbs overnight, but I'm going to need 1 lb/day to get to 14 lbs in the next 2 weeks, so let's hope I can keep up the losing pattern. :)

A glimpse of me...

2009-10-03T14:08:00.002-04:00

I saw a video of myself today, and it was HO-rrendous. In my defense, it was a 99 degree day, and so humid that clothes were sticking to every bump and lump, but there's no excuse for the horror that I saw. I knew I'd gained weight since last year, but I didn't know how bad it made me look. Just about all of the clothes still fit me, albeit tighter, so I didn't think there was as much of a difference, but boy was I wrong.

The problem with losing a ton of weight really fast, is that you gain it back really fast too. If an average person has a bad week for eating, they may gain a lb or two, but if I have a bad week eating, I gain 10-15 lbs...no exaggeration...and I'm not talking about a bad week like I used to have...I just mean a week where I'm not being overly health conscious.

As I mentioned before, I've managed to gain 20-30 lbs (depending on the day) over my lowest point, and it came back EASILY. In fact, as of last Monday, I was 32 lbs over my lowest point. To most, that sounds like a huge amount of weight (and it is), but for me, it's kind of surreal that I could have even gained that kind of weight eating the way I have. Anyway, it is what it is, and I need to face it head on.

Losing weight and focusing on my health has just jumped into FIRST place for all of my competing priorities. As I was watching the movie of myself, I immediately stopped what I was doing and went directly to the gym. I need to find that focus that I had when I first started this journey. I've developed too many bad habits, because I took my eye of the ball.

I stopped remembering to end my meal when I felt full, and started eating past my full point. I stopped waiting to drink liquids for 30 minutes after meal time, which made me feel hungry faster. I stopped using my lap band as a tool, and without even realizing it, found ways to eat around it...not to a huge extent either, but enough that I gained 30 lbs back!

Not having a fill, and not being able to exercise (due to multiple injuries and illnesses) really set me back this past year, but I'm starting fresh today. *Oddly,* today is the 2 year anniversary of my lap band surgery! As of this morning, I was down 6 lbs from last Monday, but I still have 26 to go to get to my low point.

I hesitate to set weight loss goals for myself because I don't want to be discouraged if I do everything right and don't hit them, but I'm going to anyway, because I'm very goal motivated, so here goes: I want to be down 14 lbs in 2 weeks from today. That will be a loss of 20 lbs in 3 weeks, which seems crazy, but when you think about how quickly I put it on, it's really not.

When you fluctuate huge amounts of weight, over and over, your body gets WAY too fast putting it back on, but it can also be used in the other direction as well, and I'm going to do everything I can to be down 14 lbs by 10/17. Then I'll just have 12 more lbs to go to get to my lowpoint, and I know the boost of losing 20 lbs will propel me to my low point again.

I'm going to take steps to be more conscious of my eating habits. I'm going to stop watching TV or working during meals. I want to be focused on the chewing, and the eating, and the point at which I get full. I will continue to count calories on fitday.com, and if 1200 calories/day isn't working for me, I'll consult a nutritionist to put a better plan in place.

As far as exercise goes, I'm going to push the cardio as much as I can. I often re-injure myself with weight training, and I have a lot of muscle mass to begin with. Also, I avoid cardio like the plague, and I need to embrace it, head on. I'm not going to melt the weight off without moving fast and sweating hard.

Today at the gym, I did 30 minutes on the treadmill. I can't really run or jog because of my knee problems, so I walked as fast as I could, constantly checking my heartbeat to make sure I was in the optimum zone, and that's where I stayed. Today, that was at the speed of 3.7 - not very impressive, as you avid treadmillers know, but it kept my heartbeat at 156, and much higher than that put me in the red zone. It was a great work out (for me). It was only 1.69 miles, but I was sweating, big time. It's hard for me to sweat, so I know it was working!

Also, it didn't bother my knees. I know I'm just going to get better. This is a starting point. Instead of the usual rap or opera that I listen to when I work out, I put on techno/dance music, and let me tell you - it made a big difference! I kept up to the pace of the beat, and the time went by pretty fast. I'm going to download a bunch of dance music to my iPod, so that I don't get bored with the selection.

I was really down on myself when I saw the movie, but I'm glad I used the experience for good. I'm really excited to start fresh with a renewed vigor. I also love the way exercise makes me feel, and my 30 minute cardio workout got my blood pumping! I'm going to workout with the Wii later on.

So for now, it's back to the basics, and I think the basics will serve me well!

Happy Medium :)

2009-10-02T07:51:00.002-04:00

As you know by now, I'm not so good with moderation. Being an all or nothing gal can be my greatest strength and weakness in life. I know this, and I'm working on it. I've made progress in some ways, but I need to keep working at it.

When going all natural, if that is the only boundary I'm setting for myself, I can easily follow it. Everything has to be all natural. Period. I had a terrible headache all week, and I avoided taking pain killers because there were chemicals in them. Finally, on Wednesday night, I broke down and took 2 tylenol, at Darcy's insistence. She was sick of hearing me whine and watching me pout.

How very unsupportive of her. ;-)

Anyway, miss all or nothing was thrown for a loop by the tylenol. Suddenly my chemical free week was tarnished. It's those times that I get confused. Should I throw the baby out with the chemical free bath water? No! ...but it is tricky for me...

Yesterday, I was 90% chemical free, and I think that's how I'm going to live my life. It didn't take me the full week to figure out how I had to proceed, stepping out of my all or nothing mentality. Chemicals are bad to ingest. I think we all know this. In the past, I never hesitated to pop any pill that would cure my symptom, and if double worked better, I'd do double.

That's not a good thing. I'm not going to say I'll never take advil again, but I'm going to be more careful with it. There are other homeopathic remedies to ailments, and I'm going to try them out. Someone I work with said electrolytes can often make a headache go away, so next time I have one, I'll reach for an all natural, electrolyte infused beverage first. If that doesn't work, I'll move onto my gel filled tab goodness.

As far as food goes, I can afford to buy organic foods, chemical free fruits and veggies, grass fed beef, etc..., so I'm going to. It's a no brainer that these foods are better for me. Also, they taste WAY better. Darcy bought these all natural, organic ice cream sandwiches, and I thought I'd died and gone to dessert heaven...from a silly ice cream sandwich. Hood has never prompted such a reaction, let me tell you.

I didn't count calories this week - I ate whatever I wanted, in moderation, and just made sure it was chemical free. That's fine if I'm maintaining, but it's not going to work for dieting, so I'm going back to counting calories, AND eating chemical free, 90%. The exceptions will be eating out, going over friend's houses for dinner, and the occasional treat that I just have to have. That's okay. I'm pretty sure a sustainable 90% will be better than an impossible 100%.

So now I have to work twice as hard. Not only am I counting calories, but I'm limiting myself to all natural foods. It's a lot to take on, but if you think about it, it's a much more holistic approach. Eating chemical ridden foods that help me lose weight, is almost as unhealthy as taking diet pills or getting hooked on Jenny Craig. It's not sustainable long term, and it's not good for my body.

Maybe it will take a little longer to lose the weight since I can't take short cuts with 15 calorie bread or 1 calorie butter spray, but I will be make decisions that are better for my body and better for the earth. Next summer, I think I may even have a GARDEN in my future. Imagine? :)

Overall, I'm down 4 lbs this week, which is not bad since I wasn't counting calories. Technically, it's 4 lbs in 3 days, I think. It will be even better now that I'm back to fitday.com!

I haven't been feeling well, due to a likely reaction to my measles vaccination last week, and I've been sleeping a ton, but I think I am on the mend. I have a LOT I want to accomplish this weekend, and I know I need to make time to rest as well, because I need to get past this ... whatever it is.

Maybe if I'm feeling up to it, I can make time to go apple picking...I just need to find a pesticide free orchard. That is the challenge. :)

Be well!

Day 2

2009-09-30T07:51:00.002-04:00

Day one was a success. Darcy and I both stuck to the all natural food commitment we had made - even though I had to throw a pizza party at work. I ate my little organic meal, while everyone around me at delicious pizza. I really didn't want any, though. When I'm ready to commit, I'm focused.

Darcy is worried we aren't going to lose any weight, because all natural foods aren't low fat or low in calories. I'm hoping that if we eat moderate portions, and focus on getting lots of fruits, veggies, naturally lean meats, and whole grains in, our bodies will forgive the fact that we have to cook our foods with oil or natural butter, when necessary...but we'll see. The scale will tell the tale. That's part of the experiment. Obviously, I have to lose weight. If I can't lose weight this way, I'll have to compromise, and then I can just live like this once I'm maintaining.

So far, so good. I was down 3 lbs today, but of course that was just 3 lbs I was up my my bday and weekend away, but still, I'm glad to see it gone in one day. Darcy made a delicious dinner last night of chicken legs/thighs marinated in a red wine/olive oil vinaigrette, fresh seasoned green beans and an all natural pasta pesto. I have the leftovers for lunch today.

Darcy packed me a nice lunch today, with 2 apples, an orange, celery and carrots, hummus, a banana, milk for my cereal, and the leftovers. Oh yeah, and some all natural chips, just in case I want something snacky. Obviously, that's more food that I will eat during the day, but it will be good to have all that fruit on hand here. I had my cereal already, and when I'm hungry mid morning, I'll have my banana.

As far as how I'm feeling - there's no huge change yet, although it's only been a day. My allergies are still bothering me quite a bit, and I've been sleeping 9 hours/night to compensate for them. When I got home from work, I was so tired, all I did last night was read my book and watch tv, again.

I have an essay due tonight for class, so I need to hunker down when I get home from work tonight. No relaxation for this tired kid. It would be nice to have some caffeine to help me through it, and even though there are all natural coffees, I want to be stimulant free this week too, so I'm not going to do it. What's the worst that could happen? I'll tarnish my 100 streak and get a B? I'm okay with that.

That's all for now!

Day 1

2009-09-29T08:02:00.002-04:00

Darcy did all the shopping for us yesterday, and she picked up this cereal. I was thinking nothing processed at all, but I think this will be okay, since the ingredients are all natural, and there are no preservatives or chemicals or anything funky in the recipe. I brought some of it to work today, and I realized my milk was sour. Ew. So I ate the all natural, organic cereal with water on top. I only got through half of it, because of the gross factor of mushy all natural cereal floating around in tan water, but I think with milk, it will be pretty good/okay.

I'll keep you posted as the week progresses.

Day one: I'm tired, I overslept, even though I went to bed early, my allergies are still bothering me, and over all, I'm dragging.

I want to track the way I feel throughout the week to see if there is a difference. This should be an interesting experiment!

I'm 33 now, but I only feel like I'm ... 83!

2009-09-28T10:50:00.002-04:00

haha

Today is my first full day as a 33 year old. I feel much older today - probably because I'm so tired from all the excitement and travel over the weekend, combined with my allergies that are kicking my butt. :)

Today I'm scheduled to start my chemical free week, but I have to postpone that until tomorrow. We didn't have a chance to go to the store yet, plus we have a ton of leftovers from my birthday dinner, so tomorrow it is.

I'm hoping to end my 33rd year feeling like I'm 23, rather than 83. I have my work cut out for me. I want to be in the best shape of my life by the end of this year, and I'm ready to do the work to get there.

I wasted my 20's being so unhealthy, but my 30's are all about getting healthy again. So far I've made some really great changes, but I have more changes to go. This work is still in progress.

My first step toward a renewed health will be going to bed early tonight since I'm tired and having trouble with allergies. Sleep is extremely important, so I'm going to let myself get as much as I need.

Tomorrow - we will be chemical free.

This is going to be a great year!

I never met a mirror I didn't like

2009-09-24T13:13:00.003-04:00

I kid. This is my head shot...not a bad pic. Alison blogged earlier this week about how some mirrors are flattering, and others are mean, and I commented to her that I try to avoid mirrors in rooms with bad lighting. I'd rather talk myself into thinking I look better than I really do.

Sadly, those days have been limited lately. I am in the middle of a huge war against PMS. I am losing...badly. My weight fluctuates every day. I have good days, and I lose 2-3 lbs, and then I have bad days, and I gain it back. I'm starving constantly, I'm craving foods I don't even like, my face looks like a bloated pepperoni pizza, my clothes are tight, my skin is washed out, I'm tired, and I'm just having a really ugly week.

I know - so hard to imagine! ;-)

I can't wait for this to end. I've been trying to be so good, and I'll be perfect until I get home from work, and then I fall off the wagon. Each day I start new, but the hunger gets the best of me. It's gross, really.

I know there is light at the end of my tunnel, and I know I'm quickly approaching said light. I can't wait, because I'm really looking forward to the giant kickstart of chemical free week which starts next Monday. I think it's going to be a great thing for me.

Until then, if in your trails, you happen to pass a pimply faced fatso, pushing her polyester pants to the limit, be gentle.

The ultimate stairdown

2009-09-23T07:38:00.002-04:00

My allergies have been acting up lately, and I was feeling a little tired and groggy when I got to work this morning. I thought I would just walk the 20 steps up from the parking area, but skip the other 40, so I did just that.

Well, the forces were at work to get me moving, because as soon as I got to my office, the fire alarm went off, and I had to go down the stairs to get outside. After we were cleared to return to the building, we all took the stairs back up to the office, and I knew that was my punishment for taking a short cut a few minutes before. :)

...and on another note...

2009-09-22T11:10:00.001-04:00

My hiking and walking and eating healthy paid off. I was down 3 lbs today. :)

How to be chemical free

2009-09-22T08:12:00.002-04:00

Good morning, dear readers.

So far we have five participants, including me. I think this can be very interesting.

I received an email this morning asking does chemical free basically mean organic? Yes and no. Chemical free is a bit more strict than organic. Some organic foods are processed, and some organic produce still uses some pesticides that aren't quite as bad for us, but it still defeats the purpose.

Here is an example of a chemical free, well balanced daily meal plan:

Breakfast:
Local, free range eggs, prepared to your liking
Homemade toast (or locally prepared bread that only includes whole food ingredients)
Fresh fruit, from a local farm or orchard (can be purchased at an organic food market, or at the local farm directly, but question them about their pesticide use, if it's not posted clearly)
Homemade or organic (dye free/chemical free) yogurt (such as Stonyfield Farm brand)
*If you use butter on your toast, ensure the ingredients are sweet cream and salt only...or make your own! Used sparingly, a little bit of natural fat is actually good for you. :)
*Fresh squeezed orange juice (from local, pesticide free oranges)
*Natural coffee or tea (honey or sugar for sweeteners if used, organic bovine growth hormone free milk or cream)

Lunch:
*Ham salad sandwich (prepare enough to use for several meals throughout the week) - made with a local, grass fed ham and mixed with homemade mayo, nayonnaise or organic mayo, checking the ingredients to make sure they are all natural, and homemade relish, or organic, served on your homemade bread or locally prepared bread that only includes whole food ingredients
*Sliced cucumbers (locally grown)
*Homemade or all natural hummus with cucumbers and carrots
*Water

Dinner:
*Grass fed steak tips (more omega 3's than salmon, far fewer calories and fat than traditional red meat and NO negative impact on the heart)
*Homemade french fries (thinly sliced potatoes, basted with olive oil, salt and pepper) baked
*Fresh green beans, sauteed lightly in olive oil and fresh garlic
*Water, iced tea or milk to drink

Dessert:
*Fresh berries in whipped cream (all natural, of course)

*************
Obviously, follow any diet you want, but that is an example of what one (delicious) day of healthy, chemical free food would look like.

Let me know if you have any questions!

A chemical free you and me

2009-09-21T11:16:00.003-04:00

I'm posing a challenge to you, dear readers. Starting next Monday, 9/28 through Sunday 10/4, I am going chemical free in regards to the foods and drinks I put in my body. I will only consume things that can be found in nature, not processed, not loaded up on antibiotics or pesticides, etc... I want to detox my system, and I'm curious to see how it feels, as well if I'll notice a change at all. I know it's better for me, but I'm wondering if a week is long enough to notice a difference.

I want to start small, so I'm starting with one week.

In Bible Study yesterday, we all went around and shared things we want to do to better be prepared to be a vessel for God's message. I said I want to be healthier, and more conscious about my body and the earth. I don't recycle as much as I should, I definitely waste more than I should, and I consume things I shouldn't. My body is a temple, and I'm a graffiti artist...and not a good one. ;-)

I've always said/known that in order to be healthy, you must be emotionally, physically and spiritually healthy. You cannot achieve one aspect without the others, because they are intrinsically linked.

I am emotionally healthy, and I'm working on being more spiritually healthy and more physically healthy so that I can reach my full potential and be an agent of peace and positive change in this world.

Being thin does not equate to being healthy. That's something I have had a hard time wrapping my head around, since thin has equaled healthy in my mind for decades. I can lose lots of weight, but rely upon chemicals and processed foods that could cause cancer or heart disease. That is not healthy.

I can't be fanatical, but I want to be as responsible as possible. I'm going to try to minimize the risk to my body by trying not to consume foods that humankind has tampered with. I want to try to treat my body as the temple I was instructed to, and that means being physically fit as well.

So my challenge is this: does anyone want to join me in this chemical free week? I think we could learn a lot from each other, and I'd love for you to join me, but I'm happy to do it myself as well.

Let me know if you are up for the challenge!

60 steps

2009-09-21T08:04:00.002-04:00

Alison blogged last week how she is on the 3rd floor, and each day she has to climb 27 steps to get to her office. My building has an elevator, and ever since I hurt my knee, I have been taking it, but today, I decided to take the stairs. There are 20 steps from the parking lot to my office, and then another 40 from the first floor to the third floor, so I climbed 60 steps on my way into work today.

It's not a miracle, but it's a start. My knees seemed just fine. I was slightly winded, but I'm not surprised since I haven't done any major cardio in a while, and my asthma has been bad with the allergies lately. Slightly winded, we can live with.

Yesterday I didn't do great with the healthy eating, by any stretch of the imagination. We went out for a delicious lunch, and I had grilled bread (infused with fresh garlic), dipped in a gorgonzola sauce, poor man's pie (kind of like shepherds pie, only with steak instead of ground beef, and a whole medley of earthy veggies, instead of just corn, and the gravy baked in, oh, and on top of the layer of mashed potatoes was melted cheese. (Yum!)

We went to the movies, and I had a small popcorn, and at night, I made chicken dinner with smashed potatoes and homemade gravy. The potatoes were made light, but not the gravy.

Well, it wasn't a day of resounding success for my diet, but it certainly was a delicious day. :) Also, I can use the chicken dinner for leftovers and just skip the gravy, so we're good there.

We stopped at a farmer's market yesterday, and I picked up a ton of fresh veggies that I'm looking forward to making this week!

Today, for my workout, I am planning to go hiking. Can't wait.

PS - Happy Birthday, Mom!!! I love you! :)

Dinner to die for!

2009-09-18T07:24:00.002-04:00

I'm not even going to torture you with the details of the amazing dinner we had last night, since this is a healthy eating blog, but WOW - it was phenomenal. I ate whatever I wanted (skipped the bread), but just watched my portion control closely.

Today I was down 2 more lbs. That must be a Christmas miracle after having a fabulous italian dinner the night before. :)

Plugging away...

2009-09-17T07:53:00.002-04:00

No change in the scale today, but I'm still down the 2 lbs I lost so far this week. I think next week is going to be a good loss week. That's my prediction. Until then, I will keep plugging away.

I am feeling super bloated today. I feel like fat guy in a little coat in my jacket today. I'm a little tired too from the allergies.

I have been so busy and tired this week that I slept through my alarm this morning! I went to bed around 11, and I woke up on my own at 7AM. My alarm was set for 6, and it must have gone off, over and over, and I never even heard it because I was so tired.

Thankfully, I was able to shower, dress, get ready, and be out the door by 7:30 and at work for 7:45.

My left eye was all swollen and glazed over when I got up. (ew) I need to pick up some allergy meds asap.

Tonight we are taking Darcy's parents to dinner to thank them for watching Henry while we were in Jamaica, and we're going out for Italian. It should be a challenge to find something healthy, but I will do my best, and I will certainly be mindful of portion control!

Have a healthy day, y'all!

Correction

2009-09-16T11:42:00.002-04:00

It is *not* nice out today.

LOL

It's freezing, cloudy and a bit rainy...not sure how I missed that on the way in.

I did, however, manage to get at least a mile of walking in so far today, so it's a start.

My efforts will be continued later.

A start

2009-09-16T08:56:00.002-04:00

I was down 2 lbs today. I stayed within my calories yesterday, but I did not exercise. I just couldn't find the time. I didn't even have a spare 30 mins to go for a walk at work. Today will be better, hopefully.

I'm probably going to be working late, and well into the night, but I will take an exercise break tonight.

I know I'm still bloated, and I know the weight isn't going to fall off as quickly as it normally does, as a result. It's okay. I'm happy with any move on the scale in a downward direction!

Today I have meetings all over the campus, so I know at the very least I'm going to get a *lot* of walking in. I'm looking forward to it. It's nice out! (I think. No idea. No windows.)

:)

Well that's annoying

2009-09-15T06:36:00.002-04:00

Bonjour!

I did a great job of eating well balanced, healthy foods, with appropriate portion sizes yesterday, I worked out, I didn't eat after 7 (with the exception of a cucumber), and I was the same weight today as yesterday AM.

I know I'm *completely* bloated right now, but still...I was a perfect student.

Also, I don't feel any different. Usually when I stray a bit, the day I am back on track I lose a ton, and I feel fantastic. That's just not the case now. I think it's probably the allergies and PMS, and blah blah.

Either way, today is a new day. I'm going to keep up doing all the right things, and I know it will pay off. I hope to have better news for you tomorrow.

I'm not sure when I'm going to exercise today. I have to get to work asap, because I have a ton of meetings as well as a ton of work to do, and a presentation to finish. Tonight, I'm meeting up with TJ and a former colleague of ours, probably right when I get out of work.

I should have gotten up at 5AM to do my work out before work, but I hadn't slept well the night before, and I needed my sleep. I will at least try to get a few miles of walking in at work today...maybe I can bring some work with me to work on while I walk. That would be a good thing.

Be well!

Quick update

2009-09-14T07:27:00.002-04:00

Today I officially start my new full time job. I also have classes starting, and of course my other job...no excuses: I'm getting into a routine that, no matter what, will include daily exercise. Period. .

:)

Activity

2009-09-11T11:21:00.002-04:00

I'm limited on the foods I can eat since my band is so tight, but I'm not focusing on that or letting that get in my way. I swam a lot in the ocean yesterday, and last night, we went to the boardwalk, and walked for a few miles. It felt great.

Today I have been in session all morning, but I'm going to try to get out there and do some laps to get my blood flowing. I sometimes have nervous energy before I'm speaking somewhere, but I don't really feel that today.

They have jet ski rentals and kayak rentals too. I just called and the jet ski rentals are $75 for a half hour, and the kayak rentals are apparently a separate deal, so they have no idea, but either way, it looks fun.

It's 11:25 - I'm speaking at 3:15, so I need to get down there around 2:45 to set up. I will need to shower (again after swimming) and get ready, and I'll probably do a dry run of the presentation, so I should get back to my room at 1:30 to have time for all that. That gives me 2 hours of fun in the sun.

Let's go!

The lap band does not enjoy travel

2009-09-10T08:57:00.002-04:00

Too bad I do! :)

I tried to eat dinner last night, but I couldn't get anything down. Now I'm starving. Sometimes when I travel, I get really bloated. That happened yesterday. My toes looked like sausages (hot), by the time we arrived.

I'm starving, since I haven't eaten since lunch time yesterday, and I'm hoping I can find something for lunch. I also can't wait to go swimming!!!

Loooooooooooong overdue

2009-09-09T07:51:00.002-04:00

I emailed my MD this AM to make an appointment to get a fill in October when I have insurance again. As mentioned above, it is looooong overdue - as in a year overdue.

I can't believe I let a whole year go by. It's just about the 2 year anniversary of the start of my liquid diet (9/4/07), which started my whole weight loss journey. At this time last year, I was pretty confident that I would be hitting goal within the next year...nope!

In order to stop the cycle of not losing, and even gaining, I need to examine what went wrong. Here goes:

Gallbladder disease/surgery
Repeated knee injuries
Trying to find an MD in NH & non succeeding
No longer working in MA, and not getting down to see my MD down there as a result
Gaining weight and not wanting to face my MD until I lost the weight
Gaining and losing the same weight over and over again
Working from home; not having a routine
Having trouble staying with a consistent work out regime (sometimes related to injury, sometimes not)
Not consistently following lap band guidelines
Not always tracking food, although most of the time I still do
Not always making my health a priority
Not measuring my food consistently
Eating out too much
Traveling constantly
Following weight watchers for too long, even though it made me gain

I think today I'm up 20 lbs from my lowest. That's annoying, but it could be worse. A lot worse.

We didn't have any food in the house since we're leaving on a trip today, and by the time we decided we needed to get dinner, the only thing that would deliver was Chinese. I didn't have that much of it, but I had it again for breakfast, as it's the only thing in the house, and now I feel totally sick to my stomach. That was dumb.

I'm going to be traveling for the next few days, and whenever I travel, my band gets tight. I don't know why, but I am very limited on what I can eat, which makes it hard to make healthy choices, since meats and veggies are difficult to get down when I'm tight. I'm going to do my best, however.

I start my full time job officially this next Monday, and I'm going to finally enter a routine again. I'm hoping to be down at least 10 lbs from where I am today by the time I see my MD, but either way, I'm going for my fill.

What's the point of having a lap band if I don't use it? It has been a fantastic tool for me, and if I learned anything this year, it's that even though I have changed a lot, I still need this tool to keep me on the straight and narrow. It doesn't make me weak that I need it, and it's not a crutch, it's a support.

So, as I enter year three, I do so with eyes wide open. I know that if I'm not careful, I can gain all of my weight back. I also know that I refuse to let that happen. Once again, I have a lot of competing priorities in life. I start school today, meanwhile, I'm working a few jobs and traveling to FL to present at a National conference that I just found out about yesterday...

I need to slow it down. I say that a lot. I'm going to say it again. Slow. It. Down.

Ahhhh. That's better.

I'm not putting off getting healthy until Monday, but I know as of Monday, I'm going to give my health a much larger chunk of my attention. I'm going to work out every day, plan my meals, measure my portions, use fitday consistently, not drink while I'm eating (or for 30 minutes after), eat out a lot less, blog regularly, and lose the rest of my weight.

Year three is going to be magical. I just know it. :)

They grow us big in TX

2009-09-03T10:09:00.002-04:00

I met a friend of my Mom's once when I was very young. I asked her why she was so big, and she told me, "They grow us big in Texas!"

What's my excuse? ;-)

I never bothered to take my measurements when I was first starting this journey, but I decided to today. Sometimes it's annoying to watch the scale, and it can be helpful to see the inches shrink away, even if the number on the scale isn't moving. Plus, it's just a good thing to do.

As of right now, my thigh is about the circumference of my future waist. We have some work to do. LOL. I told this to Darcy, and she reminded me that my legs are extremely muscular. That's very nice of her, but I assure you, they aren't *that* muscular. LOL. Not enough to be the size of a waist.

I went hiking with the dog for about an hour this morning. I really enjoyed it, and I know he did too. I'm waiting for the membership director at the YMCA to call me back so that I can see about getting a free pass to try it out for a week. Hopefully I'll hear from him soon.

I'm back...again...

2009-09-03T07:10:00.002-04:00

Jamaica was awesome, although as soon as I arrived, I had a phantom gallbladder attack again. It was really bad, but thankfully it passed. My stomach was a bit iffy while I was away, so I just ate breads, potatoes, and meats, if there was some gravy...not the healthiest choices, but whatever was bland, unlikely to be contaminated by water, and could get through my band, which is always very tight when I travel...

I weighed the same when I got back as when I left. It was a wash. I was up before I left, so it's not fantastic news, but it is what it is.

I'm going to the gym first thing this morning. Well, I guess it's not the first thing since I've been up and at 'em for the past hour and a half, but I'm going to the gym soon. :) I want a new gym. I'm bored with Planet Phatness. I'm checking into the nearby Y. They have a pool. :)

Today is going to be a healthy day.

NOT a liquid. :)

2009-08-21T08:04:00.004-04:00

I had a few pieces of a small cheese pizza for lunch yesterday. Nothing crazy, but it made me totally sick. I felt like my gallbladder pain was back. It was most unpleasant.

I had heard that some people get sick after eating greasy foods once their gallbladder is removed, but it hadn't happened to me. I'm wondering if because I totally cleansed my system for two days, my body couldn't process the junk?

Either way, it taught me a good lesson about staying away from bad foods, even in moderation. It's not worth it to be sick. I was up until 1AM from the pain. Very odd.

I was going to go back on the liquids today, but with my stomach still recovering, I'm just going to take it easy and eat normally.

I had a multigrain breakfast bar for breakfast, I'll have a banana for snack, a stir fry lean cuisine for lunch, and we'll see about dinner. I'm thinking left over turkey and some veggies, and maybe a potato to even it all out.

Down 2 more lbs

2009-08-20T11:36:00.001-04:00

...it's a start...

I ended up kayaking for my exercise yesterday.

It's a beautiful day out, so perhaps today I'll do laps!

1 candy = 15 calories

2009-08-19T13:44:00.003-04:00

I asked Darcy to get me some sugar free candies for my office at work. Instead, she got me the full sugar individually wrapped life saver candies. I love them, but they have 15 calories in each one!

Between the pickles and the gross sugar free carnation instant breakfast aftertaste, I felt like I needed a mint (or something) three times today. That's 45 extra calories! For some reason, I thought they were five calories each. Nope!

So now, I'm going to limit myself to one per day. You gotta read those labels!

Liquid Diet Update

2009-08-19T12:58:00.003-04:00

So far, so good, although my body isn't used to this amount of fruits and veggies and fiber! I've had 430 calories for the day, and 16 grams of it was from fiber. I know it's good for me, and I need to get back to focusing on getting 25-30 grams in every day.

You should too! Fiber is responsible for reducing incidents of cancer, heart disease, diabetes, gall stones, kidney stones and more! Fiber also helps you lose weight, and foods rich in fiber make you feel full longer.

Why are you still sitting there? Go get some fiber in you! ;-)

Fiber pills and fiber flakes aren't the same.

Foods High In Fiber

Grain and Whole Wheat Products Bagels, Bran Buds, Brown Rice, Buds, Cereals, Granola, Muffins, Pasta

Fruits

Dried fruits (apricots, dates, prunes, raisins) Apples, Avocado, Bananas, Blackberries, Blueberries, Mango,Oranges, Peach, Pears, Raspberries, Strawberries
Vegetables

Broccoli, Beans, Carrots, Cauliflower, Corn, Green Beans, Green Peas, Greens, Legumes, Peas, Potato with Skin

Nuts

Almonds, Peanuts
Beans

Black, Chick, Kidney, Lentils, Lima, Pinto, Soy

It's a start

2009-08-19T08:17:00.002-04:00

I lost 4 lbs yesterday. That's the weight of the very adorable Yorkshire Terrier pictured above. I should/could have lost more, but I had way too much salt on the 3 ears of corn I ate plus the 730 mg in the cup of soup I had. It's okay, four lbs is plenty, and I'm going to watch the salt today and tomorrow I'll be down even more.

Yesterday and today, I looked at the number on the scale, and I told myself, "That is the highest number you will ever see on the scale for the rest of your life." I believe it, too. Every time I lose weight, I will plan to tell myself that even though it's a loss, the number on the scale is the highest number I'll ever see for the rest of my life, until I get down to a healthy weight. I want to get back into visualizing and planning for success.

My upper body is a bit sore from my workout yesterday, but in a good way. My knee is still healing, but it's much better, and I'm working on strengthening it so I can get back to working out with it.

I have been hesitant to use my kayak since I hurt my knee getting in and out of it (once it was already injured) a few weeks back. However, I *think* my knee is getting strong enough that if I wear the brace and am very careful, I should be okay.

Unfortunately, it looks like there will be thunderstorms when I get out of work, so there goes my big plan for an outdoor workout. You never know in New England, but I think that if it's nice out when I get out of work, I'll plan to go kayaking to cupcake island (and then cool off in the water!), and if it's stormy, I'll go to the gym and do the soul numbing exercise bike.

I also need to get back to doing my crunches at the house. Yes!, I do...

It's never tasted so goooood

2009-08-18T15:03:00.003-04:00

One of the things I love about the "liquid" diet is that foods you normally take for granted seem so much better. I like corn on the cob a lot, and I've only been on the "liquid" diet for less than a day, but by lunch time, I was really missing food.

Darcy made me some delicious corn on the cob as a snack around 2:30. It was phenomenal. Some of the best corn on the cob I've ever had, and even better since I was so hungry.

Another thing I like about being on a strict diet like this is that it takes away my choices. Generally, I much prefer choices, naturally, but when I'm ready for a stark change, sometimes it's a nice break to have my food choices already made for me. It's simple, and I'm getting all the nutrients and calories I need. I've had 626 calories today, and I've already gotten in 24 grams of fiber, and 36 grams of protein (and less than 5 grams of fat).

I'm going to take a break from working in a bit to head out to the gym. Thank goodness I can go for a swim when I get home, because it's a SCORCHER!

Jump starting me

2009-08-18T08:36:00.003-04:00

Once again, I have let everything in life creep on top of my weight loss goals. I know the reason I had so much success at first was because I made losing weight/getting healthy my absolute top priority. It's hard for me to do that now, since I don't have the obstacles in my way that I used to, and I have had so many other important things take priority over weight loss...

While I'm starting a new full time job, going back to school, working on getting my CD released as well as my documentary, and of course, my consulting work, and everything else I have going on, it's probably impossible for me to make weight loss my absolute top priority. I need to be realistic.

I need to make sure that weight loss, exercise and healthy living are part of my daily life, even if they can't be the extreme top priority I once made them. I knew that with my competing goals and ambitions, it wasn't a likely long term scenario for my weight loss to be number one, and what I haven't done a great job of is making the transition from main focus to one of my top priorities, among others.

My all or nothing mentality can be one of my strongest points and one of my worst as well. When I go for something, I go for it, and when it's time for me to find a happy medium, I flail.

So here I am, flailing. :) I've put off getting a fill for WAY too long. At first there were a million other reasons, but then I didn't want to go until I'd lost some weight from my last fill (which was about a year ago), because I like to get gold stars from my MD...more recently, I didn't want to go until I was down to the weight I was at my last fill.

Obviously, I need to just do it. I have gained some weight, and I will continue to do so if I don't stay on the track I should be on. I have this great tool, and I need to use it. It's okay if for one visit with my MD, I'm not the golden child. It's worth it to be able to have access to this tool again, so that I can start losing weight again.

I'm going on the "liquid" diet for the next few days, really just to cleanse my system, shrink my appetite and get back to the basics. I'm going to limit my food intake to sugar free Carnation instant breakfast, low sodium soups, salads and fruits. I was just about to call to make an appointment for a fill, and it occurred to me that I don't have insurance currently. I ended up skipping out on COBRA when my insurance ran out at the end of June, since I knew I'd be on new insurance in September/ish.

Well, my new plan is to find out what date my new insurance kicks in and make an appointment for that week. Hopefully I will be back to my last weight by that time, and if I'm not, so what. Long term success is more important to me than my perfect lap band weigh in record at the doctor's office. :)

Holy fluctuation, Batman

2009-08-08T09:06:00.002-04:00

Well congratulations to me, I weigh 8 lbs less than I weighed yesterday. I know I've said it before, but it's seriously ca-razy how much my weight fluctuates day to day.

Oh well, I did fine-ish with my eating yesterday. I consumed more calories than I like to, but I made healthy choices. We went out for Mexican for dinner, but I got my usual steak salad. There's no dressing, and they only put a little sour cream on it. I know it's still higher in calories/fat than a normal meal, but it's not terrible.

I went to the gym. So good for me. No one's getting $20.

I'm going to the gym today as well. The same offer stands. It's good online accountability. LOL

Hopefully I'll lose another 8 lbs today. ;-)

Gotta love that PMS

2009-08-07T09:07:00.002-04:00

It's 9AM, and I've already consumed 556 calories today.

Just because it's "diet" food, doesn't mean the calories don't add up. LOL.

I have had:

2 cups of light popcorn
A low fat breakfast bar
1 lean cuisine

Nice.

LOL.

I think it's safe to say I've officially broken my plateau!!!!! For the last year or so, I was at pretty much the same weight, give or take, and I just kept losing and gaining the same weight over and over. Well, I've moved past that, and I officially weigh more than I have in the past year.

Today, I weighed 19 lbs more than I did 2 weeks ago. Seriously. How does that happen?? My weight fluctuates in an insane way. When I'm retaining water (ew), I can gain up to 12 lbs that just seems to come and go over night... Not 19, though... I've given into my PMS more than I normally do, and I haven't been exercising at all.

There's a silver lining in this - believe it or not - I felt like no matter what I did, I couldn't move my weight. Well, I guess that's not true. If I can get it to go up, I can get it to go down.

Recharging my diet batteries while in the middle of PMS isn't the best laid plan, but I'm just going to eat when I'm hungry, and only items that are healthy or low fat. It will be better than I've been the rest of the week, and soon my appetite will go back to normal.

My knee is almost better, and I'm going to start slowly using it again on the exercise bike to see if I can build the strength back.

I AM GOING TO THE GYM TODAY.

There. It's in writing AND with caps locked, so it's clearly a fact.

Okay, I'm going to raise you one. If I don't go to the gym today, I will mail every ready of this blog $20. You have to comment to be considered for this special offer. LOL.

Abs of the day

2009-08-04T06:25:00.003-04:00

Jason Stackhouse (Ryan Kwanten) from True Blood. This kid has like 3% body fat. It's insane.

I have about 3% muscle...

Determination needed

2009-08-03T07:55:00.002-04:00

My knee is still not better, which greatly limits my opportunities to exercise. Even kayaking is dicey because I could hurt it getting in and out of the kayak that's so low to the ground. Whenever I can't exercise, I always get a little more apathetic about eating. I need to find a way around that, but in the mean time, I'm going to try to continue to eat healthy while my knee heals.

To motivate me, I have downloaded some pictures of some very physically fit celebs that I love, such as Ryan Reynolds (above) and LL Cool J. :) I know I will neeeeever have those abs, but even the pursuit of those abs will take me to a much better place than I am now.

I like Ryan especially because he used to be such a scrawny guy, and now he's totally ripped. I think it's an awesome transformation. When I see people in crazy good shape, it motivates me, so let's hope it works!

Using Facebook for Good

2009-07-30T11:07:00.003-04:00

As my dear friends know, I don't use facebook for social purposes. That's way too much personal information to put out there. Me? I just pour my heart out into 11 carefully crafted blogs. LOL

Anyway, I don't use facebook (other than for work), so all you facebook users, which is basically EVERYONE ELSE in the world, please do me a solid.

I want to get 100 responses to my healthy living habits survey. The responses are still trickling in, but I think I still need about 40 more to reach 100. Will you please post a link to my survey on your wall?

Come on, all the cool kids are doing it.

Here's the survey link: http://www.zoomerang.com/Survey/survey-intro.zgi?p=WEB229B23QZ9QJ

THANK YOU!!!

Jambalaya!

2009-07-28T07:14:00.002-04:00

Darcy made a delicious, low fat, healthy Jambalaya on Sunday - it was fantastic! It was filling, and really stuck to the bones. :) She used free range chicken sausage (2 different kinds), grass fed pork ribs and chicken, whole grain organic rice, tomato sauce, spices/seasonings and veggies - SO good.

I'm mad at my knee. It's still giving me grief. I was in the car for 5 hours yesterday (fun!), and I think that set it back a bit. It was very stiff when I got out of the car, each leg of the trip.

I'm dying to get back to the gym. I'm still up the 6 out of 10 lbs I was up last week. I'm eating okay - not as great as I could since I've been so busy, but not terrible either. I was at about 1200 calories the past few days, but I just haven't been filling my calories with the healthiest of options when I've been rushing.

I *really* need to get back to exercising. I'm thinking of doing laps in Alison's pool tonight, just using my arms to swim since I have to baby my knee. Laps can be a great form of cardiovascular activity. I think that's my plan.